My grandparents are garbage people who abused my dad growing up (as far as literally my father almost dueling my grandfather with a pistol). As soon as my aunt's had kids they began neglecting and flat out being verbally abusive to me and my siblings. It got to the point where they did something to my sister that ended with her crying, at age ~7, on the corner on the floor and I ended up cursing them out and kicked them out of the house, at about age 17. I'm 27 now and haven't been on good terms since.

My grandfather has had cancer on and off for years, but it always goes into remission. He recently got diagnosed with a new cancer, colon, and was given about 6 months to a year to live. Our family was always poor as we immigrated and my grandparents never helped us, later we found out they gave my cousins an allowance of a couple thousand a month while me and my siblings went hungry.

There are many things that I am leaving out, trust that they have done truly awful things to me, my siblings and father.

My mother called me to give me the news and I asked her about which of my aunt's will be paying for the funeral as my aunt's are the only children they ever recognized. My mother said that both of them have been conveniently missing in action... My dad is feeling very upset, understandably so- its still his dad after all (he has tried to me d the relationship but they have never been receptive).

I KNOW my aunt's are going to exploit this situation to get my family to pay for this even though it should be them and I'm getting ready for this dramatic event.

How do you deal with drama when it revolves around a death (my mother, me and my siblings have no feelings regarding the inevitable passing, but my dad is very distraught)?