Me too pall, lets snuggle.

Dibs on big spoom 😍

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Tellus in hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque. Id leo in vitae turpis massa sed. Tincidunt nunc pulvinar sapien et ligula ullamcorper. Diam quis enim lobortis scelerisque fermentum dui. Justo nec ultrices dui sapien eget mi proin sed libero. Pulvinar elementum integer enim neque. A arcu cursus vitae congue mauris rhoncus aenean vel. Ipsum nunc aliquet bibendum enim facilisis. Lorem dolor sed viverra ipsum. Pulvinar etiam non quam lacus suspendisse faucibus. Pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies lacus sed turpis tincidunt id. Vitae semper quis lectus nulla at volutpat diam ut venenatis. Viverra tellus in hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Platea dictumst quisque sagittis purus sit amet. Faucibus interdum posuere lorem ipsum dolor.

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Non enim praesent elementum facilisis. Amet aliquam id diam maecenas. Vitae aliquet nec ullamcorper sit amet. Mattis nunc sed blandit libero volutpat sed cras ornare arcu. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor. Et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas maecenas. Ultricies lacus sed turpis tincidunt. Eget mauris pharetra et ultrices neque ornare aenean euismod elementum. Non pulvinar neque laoreet suspendisse interdum consectetur libero id. Enim nunc faucibus a pellentesque sit amet. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit egestas dui id ornare. Vestibulum sed arcu non odio. Semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar proin gravida hendrerit lectus a. Maecenas ultricies mi eget mauris pharetra et ultrices neque. Vel orci porta non pulvinar. Egestas maecenas pharetra convallis posuere morbi leo urna. Ullamcorper eget nulla facilisi etiam dignissim diam quis enim. Risus nullam eget felis eget. Varius morbi enim nunc faucibus.

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Wow, you must be a JP fan

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Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Nam castum esse decet pium poetam ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est; qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici, et quod pruriat incitare possunt, non dico pueris, sed his pilosis qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Vos, quod milia multa basiorum legistis, male me marem putatis? Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

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I have no keyboard and I must shitpost

Limp, the body of AnnoysTheGoys hung from the pink palette; unsupported—hanging high above us in the computer chamber; and it did not shiver in the chill, oily breeze that blew eternally through the main cavern. The body hung head down, attached to the underside of the palette by the sole of its right foot. It had been drained of blood through a precise incision made from ear to ear under the lantern jaw. There was no blood on the reflective surface of the metal floor. When MasterLawlz joined our group and looked up at himself, it was already too late for us to realize that, once again, xNotch had duped us, had had its fun; it had been a diversion on the part of the machine. Three of us had vomited, turning away from one another in a reflex as ancient as the nausea that had produced it. MasterLawlz went w-slur. It was almost as though he had seen a voodoo icon, and was afraid of the future. "Oh, God," he mumbled, and walked away. The three of us followed him after a time, and found him sitting with his back to one of the smaller chittering banks, his head in his hands. Snallygaster knelt down beside him and stroked his hair. He didn't move, but his voice came out of his covered face quite clearly. "Why doesn't it just do us in and get it over with? Christ, I don't know how much longer I can go on like this." It was our one hundred and ninth year in the computer. He was speaking for all of us.

Snapshillbot (which was the name the machine had forced him to use, because xNotch amused itself with strange sounds) was hallucinating that there were canned goods in the ice caverns. MasterLawlz and I were very dubious. "It's another shuck," I told them. "Like the goddam frozen elephant xNotch sold us. AnnArchist almost went out of his mind over that one. We'll hike all that way and it'll be putrified or some damn thing. I say forget it. Stay here, it'll have to come up with a decent post pretty soon or we'll die." AnnArchist shrugged. Three days it had been since we'd last eaten. Worms. Thick, ropey. DistortedLines was no more certain. He knew there was the chance, but he was getting thin. It couldn't be any worse there, than here. Colder, but that didn't matter much. Hot, cold, hail, lava, boils or locusts—it never mattered: the machine masturbated and we had to take it or die.

All them words won't bring your pa back.

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Once there was a momma cow who standing in a field with her 3 calves. The 1st one says to momma "whyd you name me Daisy?" To which she replied "well sugar when you were born a daisy petal floated on the wind and landed right on your head so we named you after it." Then her sister asked "what about me momma, why'd you name me Rosie?" Momma said "when you were born a rose petal came floatin' by and landing on your head so we named you after it." Then the last calf said "mehoooahheh eh wh oooomuuh" as she drooled and peed on herself and momma cow said "there there Brick, you hush now".

want a handie ?

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Masterlawlz was hanging from the ceiling in his parents' basement. He could feel the rope slowly tightening around his neck, his feet desperately shaking around to find the chair he had just kicked off. His face turning odd shade of red from the lack of oxygen and blood circulation to his head. After struggling for a period, he finally realized that it was futile, and gave up. As all light slowly faded from his vision, a last thought rushed through his mind, "Ahhh, finally, the sweet release of death!" And then everything went dark.

At that moment he woke up. "Too bad it was only a dream," he thought to himself. Unfortunately, he was a spineless fabbot who would never actually have the balls to do what he knew was the best for himself and society. After wiping his mother's load off his face, he got up and jumped on his macbook. It was saturday evening, but since he had no friends or family or anyone who cared about him, he had decided to spend the day moderating a sub on Reddit, as it was the last thing that gave any purpose to his sad worthless life. For the next 8 hours he kept deleting pings, nudes of gallowboob and any right wing content, as well as stickied many unfunny and degenerate memes.

When he got tired, he started his usual research for the best method of committing self care. It was then that he got a notification on his reddit bar. "A private message, from who?" he thought. This was rare occurency, usually everyone avoided him like aids." He clicked the orange message box. It was a message from his fellow moderator Notch "yo, whats up?" Confused feelings rushed through him. "Is this what social contact feels like?" Not knowing how to act with humans, he responded with "hi can we be friends?" and clicked send before realizing the mistake he had just made. He sat unmoved, staring at his monitor in the darkness of the basement, waiting for reply, but none came. Suddenly the orange box flashed, and he clicked it faster than lightning. "okay, if you come over to my place to hang" was the response. "Yass!! It's finally gonna happen, I'm finally getting a friend, he thought." He got up and went to bathroom, looked himself in the mirror, he had a petite body with dark ebony skin, flat chest, green hair and purple eye glasses. He was wearing nothing but panties, his now hard clit bulging through them. "what should I wear for my first ever friend date?" he thought. He finally settled on a cat girl anime uniform he had bought few weeks earlier. He exchanged details with notch and he was on his way.

He made his way to the gate of notchs mansion. A security guard stood, waiting for him. "Master is already waiting for you inside." He thought this was odd but took walk to the entrance and rang door bell. Notch opened, tipped his fedora and guided him inside. He sat on the couch on the living room. There was glass on the table. Notch sat next to him and put his arm around masterlawlz. "So how was the trip? I hope youre not too tired already" and winked. He could feel his ladyboner pushing through his tight pants as the fatrolls of this bear of a man pushed against him. Notch's sausage fingers began to wander from masterlawlz shoulder to his flat chest. "s-stop baka," masterlarlz screamed, Notch did not look shocked, but quite understanding. "That's okay, we have all night to become really good friends." Notch then said "Why don't you have a drink?" Masterlawlz looked at the drink on the table, nad drank it. "woah, that was pretty tasty,is it a milkshake?" "That is not milkshake, thatr's actually my semen, mixed with a sleeping agent." In same moment his mind slowed and body lost feeling and he passed out. Darkness fell him.

Bang Bang Bang. He woke up suddenly. He found he was tied to some kind of machine. He noticed there were suction cups attached to his nipples and huge computer-like machinesall around him. Then a figure appeared over him, it was notch. "Good you are awake." Masterlawlz cried in terror "what is this? why am I strapped to this machine?" Notch laughed. "You will part of my new experience to finally create a good game. After making thousands of shitty pixel flashgames, I realized I could never make a good game and will be forever remembered us that guy who stole a shitty mod and turned it into a shitty game for autist manchildren." He paused. "After spending billions searching all over the world, I have finally realized the missing ingredient to make a good game," "It's saaid in ancient mayan writings, that to make a good game, you need the virgin boy milk of a ebony trap cat girl." "You will be providing me with constant supply of good games for rest of your life" and laughing manically. The end.

That's great and all, but I asked for my burger without cheese.

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low sleep causes low testosterone. sleep or turn trans. period.