I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

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I once tried shoving my finger up my tight bussy and it hurts :(

I jack off to Lawlz's pic very night before I cry myself to sleep.

Then I capture his tears and use them for lube during my 'session'.

I forgot to wash the dishes

😭😭😭

I'm never going to get a tight bussied boyfriend :(

😭😭😭

does anybody know where I can buy some illegal narcotics? if so, can you be there and state who else will be there along with address and quantity and if you or the narcotics dealers will be armed.

asking for a friend

Some girl in my class sprayed perfume on herself and now the class has the strong smell of gun oil.

I’m never, ever going to be a power ranger.

This one is truly tragic

I went through my midlife crisis and instead of buying a corvette or ditching my family so I could bang a 20 year old all I got was a family vacation.

I seen the bell off the Valdez the other day. Just thought u should know

You're the first person to have gotten my user name and I've even Exxon posted before.

I’m just a costercel waterworld posting

Forreal though I bet your yammer shitposts are amazing