Hello again r/nofap. I've come before you with a terrible truth. I'm typing this in incognito mode so that the deep state can't track me (say what you will about those filty masterbaters but they know how to keep things private) I know the secret truth behind the Notre Dame fire. Now, I know what you are thinking and no it wasn't an inside job, not this time, It was an accident but not a so called "electrical fire". You see I'm a quantum engineer at NASA so I know that fire and electricity are two completely different things. And I also know that the cathedral was built before Jesus invented electricity in 1810. So electricity wouldn't even be able to effect it. But I don't need my vast scientific knowledge to know the truth, I was there when it happened. I was in France tracking a suspected serial ejaculator. I had followed him all the way to Paris when I lost him. But the I heard the sound of hentai through the crowd. The noble American tourists next to me pointed to the cathedral and begged me to save the souls of these filthy Frenchies. I haven't masterbated in almost a month so as you know I have already unlocked levitation powers I floated up to the top of the cathedral where the filthy beast was beating his meat to some disgusting shota porn. I shouted STOP and the fiend turned around and ejaculated fire all over the place, and disappeared in a cloud of Playboy pages. I tried to put out the fire but you unlock freeze breath after two months (damn you Natalie Dormer you foul tempress). All I could do was use my invisibility and fly away. I needed to find people I could trust to protect me once Big Titty sends its flesh peddling goons to shut me up. GOD SPEED