Dentally Challenged Man Explains Why His Country Dislikes Chester Cheeto in the Only Language r/worldnews Understands: an Autistic Longpost Rant

158  2019-04-23 by callaghanrs

177 comments

I'm not even sure what your point is. Yeah I'd rather sleep with a dakimakura of my waifu Renge-chan than with some random 3D slut but that doesn't mean I'm desperate, it's the opposite, it implies that I have standards.

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This is my problem with so many libs. Who cares if Trump is rude and brash? He does things which appeal to his base, and his attitude only makes them like him more. The reason why a large part of the left keeps losing is because they think the right cares about protocol and manners and crap like the loiscene-cels do.

If burger-politics has such little discussion around policy and all about rhetoric, optics, and how a candidate makes them feel, they all deserve Trump.

Trump's true genius is convincing retarded Hicks that a wealthy New York billionaire is one of them.

Sometimes he really does come across as some type of idiot savant. It's 2019 and I STILL chuckle about Hillary Clinton losing to fucking Donald Trump of all people.

The thing is people on the right fucking love welfare, but you can't call it that.

Farmers love their government crop subsidies, and the military is there largest welfare program in the nation. Cops all receive government provided healthcare and pensions etc.

It is all about branding.

The argument would be that farms, guns and cops are important to the nation, while dinnudos on their 5th baby daddy are not, though they are why cops are so important.

How the hell are guns important to the nation. Also, if farmers can't compete on the world market they should be left to vanish.

No more welfare for rural farmers. It's about time.

You are mad that you can't use a gun with your lazy eye

šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

Looks like you triggered the DDF, well done!

How the hell are guns important to the nation.

Its about the military you numbnut. Learn to context read.

Also, if farmers can't compete on the world market they should be left to vanish.

Just about every nation I can think of in the west protects if farming sector, from the US in large part, so they don't vanish. Think about that from a national security stand point. I know its hard.

The worst part about conservatives that they're bootlicking cucks.

Boot licking is more of a bondage fetish thing.

Its about the military you numbnut. Learn to context read.

Uh, how does "guns" = the military?

Just about every nation I can think of in the west protects if farming sector, from the US in large part, so they don't vanish. Think about that from a national security stand point. I know its hard.

And every other nation in the western world guarantees healthcare and education. What exactly is your point? Why is it conservatives pick and choose like this.

I don't care about other countries. Farmers can suck my dick. I'm sick of rural welfare queens sucking up absurd amounts of taxpayer money via so they can do stupid shit like this:

https://www.taxpayer.net/energy-natural-resources/federal-subsidies-for-corn-ethanol-and-other-corn-based-biofuels/

Either rurals can join the modern world, or they can be cut off.

Because he was originally talking about the military, and the next guy used "guns" as a symbol for the military. We've always been talking about the military, you public school reject.

Learn about fucking synecdoche. You're making us Burgers look bad.

Did you forget to change accounts, Chicup?

Doesn't know basic rhetorical devices.

Calls us retarded.

You're a real dingus.

Uh, how does "guns" = the military?

In the early days the US didn't have a national army so it was beneficial to let the people have guns and form militias. That's why the 2nd amendment was drafted.

Also during a nation draft it's more simple to train people who are already familiar with guns. It's very expensive, neigh impossible, to recondition this soycell who apparently got ptsd from firing an ar15.

Oh please, most people aren't capable of military service including most rural hicks.

If fucking ruralcucks care so much about their martial prowess why are they all so God damn dar

u/userleansbot

Author: /u/userleansbot


Analysis of /u/IDFSHILL's activity in political subreddits over the past 1000 comments and submissions.

Account Created: 3 years, 10 months, 19 days ago

Summary: leans heavy (85.87%) left

Subreddit Lean No. of comments Total comment karma No. of posts Total post karma
/r/neoliberal left 33 17 0 0
/r/topmindsofreddit left 0 0 4 610
/r/libertarian libertarian 4 5 0 0
/r/cringeanarchy right 7 -13 2 42

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You're always at your worst when you seriouspost. This applies to everyone here.

How did farmers survive before government subsidies?

I'm not a fan of farm subsidies, I'm just giving the argument. Its pretty common for a lot of governments to do so, and most protect their agricultural segment. Its important as if they don't they would held hostage to the nations which produce their food.

Globalists wont ever understand until they get starved to death in WWIII

God speed horseman #2.

You're straight up retarded if you think farm subsidies are gonna save you from starvation during WWIII.

Nuclear weapons and their after effects will see you long dead before starvation can lick in.

You're straight up retarded if you think farm subsidies are gonna save you from starvation during WWIII.

Nuclear weapons and their after effects will see you long dead before starvation can lick in.

By spending their lives working themselves to the bone and hoping for good enough weather and environmental factors to let them survive through the winter

Sounds like they shouldā€™ve learned to code

You canā€™t code food into existence

That's not what /u/xNotch told me!

They often didn't.

because back then the 3rd and 2nd world couldnt farm for shit and international shipping was not nearly as strong.

Having the two largest air forces in the world isnā€™t, and we need to stop paying for Europeā€™s defense, they can pay themselves. We donā€™t even need a $300 billion

Paying for Europe has the benifit of not fighting there... again.

the US is almost single-handedly holding off the Chinamen and the Russkies. Those orientals are crafty and we're working to subvert their goals on their own turf, on the other side of the world. That costs a lot.

Eurocels with their own powerful militaries can't be trusted not to go to war with each other over dumb shit so it's better this way

Hmmmm....

You know it would be good for dramacoin.

do you really want mayo refugees?

No,I want them to off each other. I know Europeans aren't incredibly competent but they've had plenty of practice killing each other.

What are the Russkies gonna do, march on Paris just to discover Achmed has aleready taken it?

When I was in college, I supported BLM, when I entered the real world and went to the big city, I supported law enforcement.

Iā€™m glad you ended it where you did; it was starting to look like you were going to call salaried private sector jobs welfare.

Author: /u/userleansbot


Analysis of /u/BCUOSPSEY's activity in political subreddits over the past 1000 comments and submissions.

Account Created: 4 months, 8 days ago

Summary: leans heavy (100.00%) left, and they are also a /politics fan, so they probably have MSNBC on in the room right now

Subreddit Lean No. of comments Total comment karma No. of posts Total post karma
/r/latestagecapitalism left 4 27 0 0
/r/politics left 51 -111 0 0
/r/politicalhumor left 12 21 0 0
/r/topmindsofreddit left 1 -2 0 0

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Dont know why you are getting downvoted must be some ruralcel cope.

Funny thing is I am a ruralcel and have a bunch of friends that are Farmers and they love crop and healthcare subsidies but hate Democrats with a passion because they were brought up that way (I am not a Democrat just to be clear). Shit some even receive food stamps and Medicaid.

I have tried to explain political shit to them but it doesn't go anywhere. Their argument ultimately dwells down to "sticking it to the libs".

I cant imagine that i live in mexicans with cellphones land or "new zealand" and nobody i have ever met is that retarded about politics, probably because most people are willing to jump ship to another party so its not part of their core identity the major rightwing party only got 25% of the vote at one point.

We're retarded and the right has an agenda against science that doesn't fit their would view.

Combine that with our fucked up education system and political polarization on both sides and you get our current state of affairs.

Makes for good drama though.

Its fucking boring here not nearly enough bible boomers so when the PM goes on a talkshow about LGBT rights saying how they plan to help trans people nobody cares at all and instead we argue endlessly about stupid important things like how to build more houses, does make our dollar soar as a "economic safehaven" whenever the US shits the bed though which is always funny.

Democrats would be a lot more popular with them if they stopped trying to push retarded gun control legislation

Yeah the gun control shit is retarded.

I think reality started breaking down in 2016. The whole year was one long ā€œis this realityā€ moment. Hillary and the DNC having to fight of an insurgency from an elderly jewish socialist because Hilldawg was that unliked by her base. A sentient meme beating out the establishment candidates despite being an utter clown. Hillaryā€™s increasingly lame attempts to appear as a normal warm-blooded human who is not a lizard in a flesh suit. A meme-frog being called a ā€œcoded nazi symbolā€. And the fact that the joke candidate won the election by not being Hillary. Something broke in 2016. Some fundamental law preventing the world from becoming too silly failed.

Could it be what rightoids call "meme magic"? Maybe CERN's experiments have something to do with this.

The Mayans have something to do with this.

You are witnessing what happens when a global political power network begin to unravel.

Man, just when I get my shit together, too.

Honestly, this is what happens when "lizardpeople" candidate loses.

Honestly climate change is going to fuck us all anyways so this is pretty much a dog and pony show at this point IMO.

Honestly climate change is going to PENETRATE us all anyways

Rule 34 that bitch.

Oh YEAH. This is getting me HOT and WET at my equator, baby.

Day pole action tho.

My ozone hole is ready!

You're missing some perspective. Sillyness has come and gone in waves through all of history. In the 17th century the Dutch lynched and ate their fucking prime ministers, for example. Some Roman emperors were so crazy they make Trump look like a savant. Bismarck essentially memed Napoleon III into attacking him and losing. Etc etc.

A new wave of crazyness was long overdue.

You can go back in his history on twitter to see his stances. They haven't changed at all. He's still free market, pro troops, trolls people, doesn't care either way for lgbt, pro abortion but only early weeks. A lot of his single issue voter stances are exactly the same as they were in 2012. I don't think he really tricked anyone. Sure he pandered out the ass but that's how you win. Every side panders. Elizabeth Warren was a Republican like 15 years ago.

/u/idfshill I don't have time to deal with the post above, I am passing it off to you.

/u/userleansbot fearofbees

Author: /u/userleansbot


Analysis of /u/fearofbees's activity in political subreddits over the past 1000 comments and submissions.

Account Created: 1 years, 10 months, 20 days ago

Summary: leans heavy (99.46%) right, and is probably a graduate of Trump University

Subreddit Lean No. of comments Total comment karma No. of posts Total post karma
/r/againsthatesubreddits left 4 -5 0 0
/r/anarchism left 0 0 1 29
/r/chapotraphouse left 1 2 0 0
/r/politics left 23 22 3 2
/r/sandersforpresident left 1 -13 0 0
/r/socialism left 2 -12 0 0
/r/cringeanarchy right 30 155 10 1009
/r/rightwinglgbt right 9 64 0 0
/r/the_donald right 375 4708 149 57400

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Based bot

Looks like we found a CAutist.

I posted here before CA

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/bg8u4l/yikes_lets_break_this_down_sweaty_now_that/

For these reasons we have decided that all people who post here and have recently made a comment in Cringeanarchy, or Cringetopia are automatically deported back to brokanda where they belong.

I doubt they do anything, but be weary, automoderator might be coming for you.

There's no way to fix it unfortunately as the bot scans deleted posts. Several mods post there as well unless the mods are going to snap themselves or something. Pizzashill has posted there so I guess he's gone too. I only post in TD because no actual conversation can happen in politics.

Even my mostly centrist views are downvoted to oblivion there. I'm pro abortion but only early, lgbt doesn't really affect anyone so I'm neutral on that even though I'm bi myself, I'm pro immigration but only some, the welfare state should exist in some capacity and people should own guns but nothing insanely powerful. I've always thought this way. Currently centrists are not aligning with the far left, many people even claim to be centrists post to TD because they are distraught that even center views are deemed insane by politics.

I do love drama very much as an idea for a sub. Honestly I wouldn't use reddit much if it was banned.

I just want to be a centrist in a big centrist sub.

Just wanted to give you a heads up.

Good luck.

I only post in TD because no actual conversation can happen in politics.

I don't really care about anything else you were saying but this one sentence is just so fucking retarded. TD is a Daddy Rally that bans all dissent. Politics is a lefty echo chamber with TDS but where rightoids can still comment if they want. It's like this one sentence perfectly encapsulates your total lack of self awareness.

Have you actually been to TD? There's discussion all the time. Politics is just a cesspool. I got banned for just posting in TD. The reason it's a left circle jerk is because the mods permaban rightoids on sight. There isn't a single centrist subreddit anymore. What I mean is center left - far right politics can actually happen in TD where as anything right of Stalin is removed from politics. The gap of discussion is vastly increased on right subs because no one actually cares what you think or gets offended. Where as the left subs merely shout you down with strawmen and ad hominems.

I got banned for just posting in TD.

No you didn't.

The reason it's a left circle jerk is because the mods permaban rightoids on sight.

You're projecting what TD does onto politics. Do you actually have downs? Because if so I'll stop making fun of you.

What I mean is center left - far right politics can actually happen in TD where as anything right of Stalin is removed from politics. The gap of discussion is vastly increased on right subs because no one actually cares what you think or gets offended.

Oh I see. You're trolling. Great parody account. You really had me fooled.

Hur dur nothing ever happens despite others claiming the same thing.

Like just today alone, I was banned from some random trans sub, I don't even post there. Mods can do whatever they want.

Really great parody account. I'm impressed. I'd never have the patience to act so retarded for so long.

centrist rule

You shouldn't need a rule to know that radical centrism has always been the One True Path. OUT.

This bot is fucking amazing.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him

Ive talked to shill in discord before he's just a regular neolib. Also don't be daft like 80% of the mods are far left.

Cope

He's still free market

Lol what? his major accomplishment is introducing tariffs and shooting down free trade agreements while his major ambition is to put up a literal physical barrier in the free labour market.

Probably because he has money, but lacks class. It's the same shit Saudi princes do because their grandpa found oil under their mud hut. They gold plate everything, buy gaudy shit and behave like retards.

It's what trailer trash like imagine themselves if they won the lottery.

Probably because he has money, but lacks class.

I usually back the when we descend into political back-and-forths here, but you're right. Trump proves the axiom that money can't buy class, it can only highlight how little you actually have.

It's less Trump and more 2 part polarization. They're just making shit up to justify their support of him.

Deep down they know he isn't one of them.

I would gladly have voted for him for the same reason I would have voted for Obama and Bush before; pissing off the insufferably hysteric lot in mainstream society.

They don't think he's one of them, they think he does the things they want and more importantly that their enemies hate him. And the American left just does not get that.

There is a Trump smear going around which posits that he's bad because hes not real New York elite. And that's supposed to make daddy-lovers dislike him.

Hes bad because he's a drooling retard lol. Be conservative if you want but ol buddy is a dummy

We haven't had a president that seemed intelligent since Bush 1 and that nerd only got one term.

Turns out people donā€™t really care how well-spoken you are when the stock market slams ATH at least 6 times during your presidency.

There is a Trump smear going around which posits that he's bad because hes not real New York elite. And that's supposed to make daddy-lovers dislike him.

Itā€™s pretty hilarious how these people just donā€™t get it. Completely out touch.

And moreover that he is actually a billionaire.

I don't get the "punching down" issue. I get that he's dumb about it, but countries are supposed to punch down, that's kinda the point lol

How the fuck else do you empire build?

A huge chunk of people on reddit really can't understand that countries aren't trying to play fair. And that just boggles my mind.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

Did this guy even see what kind of british refined gentlepeople were protesting Trump with the baby blimp? Talk about the pothead calling the kettle blacked.

Brits (or, better, English people) are the nadir of European peoples. Only Americans and Canadians, who know them because of posh TV shows and the Royal Family, and do not have to deal with them stopping to have sex with their relatives and getting shitfaced at the pub just lobg enough to leave their shitty, ugly, dank, grey island and infest the rest of Europe, would find them charming.

But who will replace our drunken stag parties round European capitals?!

Probably people with better looks and genetics.

In Europe? Not likely.

British people don't give two shits about any of that guff, this is the nation that loves Mrs brown's boys ffs

Mrs Browns Boys is the closest thing to Twin Peaks in 2019.

trump looks like jesus compared to the genocides churchill did

I genuinely love the fact that Trump is retarded and proud of it. He's great to laugh at and with, he thinks hilariously audacious Twitter burns are how you conduct diplomacy, he refuses to admit that he and his staff are insane and incompetent, he brings every single supposedly better politician down to his level and beats them at it...

100% unironic: you couldn't ask for more in a politician. Politics was never fun until he rolled up and started shitting all over the floor.

I love how heā€™s slowly changing the political landscape into some memey Hieronymus Bosch thing too. He somehow normalised embassies sending passive aggressive memes to each other

Sick Bosch reference, spot on

hilariously audacious Twitter burns are how you conduct diplomacy

If it isn't, it should be.

How is he so incompetent if the economy is doing so well? Really makes you think if you know what you're talking about or if you're quietly seething while pretending to laugh.

out out out

"I'm not mad"

Thereā€™s a lot of crossover between the ā€œwe hate trump because heā€™s rude and doesnā€™t follow protocolā€ crowd and the ā€œno real change can be made through following protocol, we need protests, riots and revolutionā€ crowd which I feel sparks a lot of cognitive dissonance.

Jj

Well it encourages hate from alt righters and aggressive policies. Honestly heā€™s causing war and anger among America, i mean liberals like me are very nice and we donā€™t name call.

back in the Obama era America was peaceful

The Obama era saw the reigniting of racial tensions we thought we had put in the past. It wasn't at all peaceful.

we had put in the past

You mean "brushed under the rug".

Six of one, half-a-dozen of another...if it weren't for the way we let cops treat poor people there wouldn't have been that kind of blow-up.

The left just has late night comedians to be brash and rude for them.

Its nothing to do with his rudeness people like that if they arent habitual liars like trump who lie about everything often completely needlessly.

Yeah burger politics almost never talks about actual policy but trump made it even worse he pretty much ran on 0 policy 100% rhetoric while the lizard lady at least had hers buried away on her websites that nobody read.

he pretty much ran on 0 policy

Not true. His focus on border security and immigration reform was the reason he won the office. Hillary was a terrible candidate, but a lot of Americans, not all of them republicans, are tired of just letting every Juan, Diego, and Jorge walk through the door uninvited.

Neither of those were policy. They were just him saying shit. Granted, that tends to be most presidential campaigns, but instead of 5% substance and 95% bullshit, Trump was 1% substance, 74% bullshit, and 25% insanity.

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath.

[laughs in Hindi/Irish/Swahili/Afrikaaner/Massachusett/etc]

You donā€™t remember the sequel to David and Goliath where David creates an imperial navy and conquers half the entire world?

I remember the part when David cucks Uriah and sends him to the front lines to die.

ā€œGo sell this opium to the chinese.ā€ - David

And then God kills Davidā€™s son over it.

but did yā€™all watch the veggie tales version where king george steals jrā€™s rubber ducky?

smh fucking Protestants and your damned cartoons

The third part is even better where David wants to stop paying membership fees to a club while still demanding the membership benefits

Not to mention, they still venerate a royal family that owns billions and billions of dollars for no reason whatsoever.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

Rape gangs and acid attacks?

U stole my post bitch.

your post sucked dick

That's because it was pretending to be ur mom.

šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž

Trump doesnt appeal to me, but in 1000 words

This is disturbingly accurate

yikes

yikes

Is this a Wil Wheaton alt account or something?

he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

imagine being such a gay fuckin nerd

"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

"The Coca Cola company is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep drinking that garbage."

Boring-give me the musings of a New York Jew writing for a late night talk show.

Don't forget calling Kim Jong Un short and fat, or Adam Schiff "Little Schitt."

Pencil neck

Honestly being hilarious is Trump's only redeeming quality. The problem is that's not exactly what you want in a president.

You never know what you want in a president. Every time we elect someone who should be the most awesome guy ever it turns to shit. Just look at Jimmy Carter and Daddy Bush. Jimmy Carter is basically as close to Jesus as you can get without a prescription, and his presidency was so fucking bad that it brought us "the misery index." Daddy Bush was a kickass war hero pilot and super spy CIA guy, and even after kicking all of Saddam's tanks over he gets beat by a date rapist because gas prices spiked. Everyone thinks that the world needs good men. That's not always the case. Sometimes you need a feckless, stupid bastard who accidentally stumbles into doing the right things.

You either weren't alive during these periods or you were high.

He's a bad president, but his nicknames are hilarious

I'm not reading all that, but no coolness or charm? really your going to sit here and say that's the reason british people dislike trump when most of your own politicians act like aliens trying their human skin costumes out for the first time?

What is that?

this comment is reckless and provocative

Imagine being able to read šŸ¤”

certain qualities

I guess having those has worked really really well for the empire in the last 100 years!

These people have America on the brain all the time. Imagine living on an island the size of Idaho with 60 million people and spending all your time thinking about Burgerville

And it's not even a good Caribbean island with palm trees and white sands. It's a cold, shitty hell-hole of an island infested with Welshmen and Scots where it rains all the time.

ā˜ā˜ā˜

I remember being there last summer during the "heat wave" when they had signs and PSAs telling people to carry extra water and to go to Metro employees if they needed assistance. It was 84 fucking degrees.

Trump needs to add it to his "Shithole" list, especially if they get all pissy when he stops by to visit. He's been holding out an olive branch to the UK in particular, promising to make them a priority trading partner if the EU tries to fuck them, and they have no chill or gratitude for it.

Typical redcoat monarchists. Pissed off that their retarded, Ritalin-addled grandkids outshined them in every way possible

God damn, am I glad we won the War. Q

Feel my fucking pain. I have to work with these autists who think memorizing lists of straits for their monthly pub quiz is peak intelligence. And yet some fucking boomer milking Americaā€™s obsession for cheap entertainment and victimization is a bit too cerebral for them.

Do your pub quizzes not have like anagrams or something. Lists of stuff stopped round here when smart phones became popular

So putting aside the issue of Daddy entirely... Are the traits I traditionally associate with fedora tippers all British? Because that post was absolutely dripping with m'lady.

Seriously. The structure, the terminology, and the arguments all made me think of the most euphoric straw-redditor I can imagine. Is this a thing? Is it connected to nerds loving Dr. Who? Should I be treating this as a new national stereotype (or an old one I didn't know) or is this just a lone nerd?

Eh, there's a solid subset of brits who act like it's 1955 and it's a pg Wodehouse book. I don't get it it doesn't stand in contact with the first Ryanair flight out of Stansted

Are they your local fedora equivalent or is it considered normal?

It's not normal but not uncommon. Like at university there'd always be a few people dressing like a Georgian dandy with more body odour and being peak fedora. As well as the young guys who suddenly decide to dress and behave like a British empire official Inn the raj and become ultra Conservative and write Facebook posts in the style of gibbon and venerate Antony Eden. I blame the weather here

Americans think Brits are smart so fedoras talk like supreme gentlemen as a substitute for intelligence. Brits are also aware Americans think this and so they enjoy performing cultural stereotypes on the internet for them because they get to feel smart and quirky.

Nobody talks like that basically.

Is it connected to nerds loving Dr. Who?

Nerds no longer love Dr. Who. It was co-opted by the feminists and other deviants.

Feminists ARE nerds.

Why do British people think anyone cares what they think? They are arguably the least relevant western country in the world.

They drone on and on about their "culture" and sensibilities but everyone just listens because they're being polite.

Land on the moon and then we'll talk, Britain.

Saw that and wondered when it would end up here.

did a comment that was basically just a copy pasted quote really get 20k upvotes and 15 golds? lol

60 fucking gildings!?! C O P E

It's amazing that yanks are now exporting TDS to the rest of the world. Why can't they just stay isolationist.

Imagine spending real money to someone who just posted a quite someone else said.