I’ll tell you a dream I had. A dream about lotion dogs, where nobody bought lotion anymore. Whenever they wanted lotion they just called their lotion dog to them and rubbed their hands all over its gooey fur. Everyone had one, and the lotion industry went out of business. People traded rare lotion dogs, and your caste in society was based on the type of lotion dog you could afford. Green apple is the rarest scent for a lotion dog to make. Green apple lotion dogs were bred for royalty only. Lavender lotion dogs were highly illegal. There was a black market for lavender lotion dogs. After about 100 years of breeding lotion dogs, there were wild breeding populations who created specialized lotion for hunting and communication. Some of these breakaway lotion dog packs created scents which were so potent they could be weaponized. Eventually a group of lotion dogs created an airborne nerve agent and were captured and bred secretly.
Once the corporation had millions of these dogs they shipped them to every city across the globe, and overnight wiped out billions. Soon these nerve agent lotion dogs bred with the domestic dogs, and infected each scent with the deadly nerve chemical. After a while the only surviving humans were those smart enough to wear gas masks, and self controlled enough to not pet the lotion dogs. After that, having lost the old ways of making lotion, everyone lived with dry cracked hands, and fabulous scents died to humanity, forever intertwined with the kiss of death their sensation would bring.
I like to watch documentaries on YouTube to fall asleep to. I was doing history ones on famous battles of WW2, then ones on serial killers, then those MegaStructures ones, etc.
The alarms blared and whirled. “CODE RED!” “CODE RED!” They screamed.
Michael Richard Pence, Vice President of the United States of America, flung his paperwork in the air, adrenaline instantly coursing through his veins at the sound of the ominous alarms. Could it be? he thought. Has the time finally come?
With out a second thought, Michael left his office, running through corridor after corridor of the White House. This moment was what he had trained for. All of his planning, all of his damned waiting, it was for this. Oh God...how he had waited.
He burst through Oval Office doors, drenched in fatigue and his heart pounding with agonizing hope. Inside the room he saw exactly what he had longed for- Michaels rock, his anchor, his Mr. President.
“Mr. President” Michael said, his heart fluttering with anticipation. “You called for me?”
Mr. President spread his legs open wide like a papaya, ready to be feasted upon at any given time. Waiting- no aching to be eaten ravenously.
“SUCKY COCKY COCKY!” Mr. President wailed.
Michael nearly sank to the floor as his legs wobbled. His now stiff cock whispered in his ear like an all-knowing worm. It knew what he desired in his heart of hearts. Oh, how is withered and tangled in the mechanisms of his mind.
“I-I-I...thought you’d never ask.” Michael said, licking his lips. “I’ve waited so-“
“SUCKY....COCKY!!” Screeched the little orange man. “AND DO THE VOICE!!!!!”
Michaels face went red. He smiled bashfully. This is why he loved his president. The initiative, the drive, the confidence, the sheer command and dominance in his voice...it was everything that turned Michael on. He would sucky Mr. Presidents cocky cocky. Oh, that he would.
“Of couwse Mr. Pwesident.” He goo’d and ga’d. “I would do anytwing fowr you.” And like that, Michaels massive schlong flung from his zipper, breaking free of the zippers.
Mr. President stared, his little mouth open wide with amazement. Michael pounced, tearing off Mr. President clothes and revealing the beautiful body that lay beneath. He caressed the thick, orange strands of chest hair as he ran his finger along the cellulite of Mr. Presidents thick legs. Papaya and cottage cheese all in one day? This really is a treat, Michael thought smugly. “You wike dat Mr. Pwesident?”
“SAY THE WORDS!!!” Mr. President blubbered in between thrusts.
Michael pushed in “Make Amewica Gweat Again” he whispered softly into the hollering orangutans ear.
“HARDER! LOUDER!!” Screamed Mr. President.
“Vewy vewy wich.” One thrust. “Gwobal wawming is a mwyth.” Second thrust. “Hiwwary Cwinton is a nasty woman.” Third thrust. “Fox Newssssss.” Another thrust, and another, AND ANOTHER.
“NEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH” Howled an orgasming Mr. President, his juices flying around the Oval Office like fighter jet planes.
Michael felt himself about to cum too. “GAWD ALMWIGHTY!” He groaned as he came, his throbbing cock wrapping around Mr. Presidents own worm like the lover he was.
“WAHHH WAHHH!” Mr. President cried.
Of course! Michael thought. Mr. President always likes to be cradled after a good fucking. He picked up the crying man from the table, still naked and covered in semen from head to toe. “Don’t cwy, don’t cwy” Michael whispered, and dabbed Mr. Presidents eyes with a napkin.
Slowly, Mr. Presidents little eyes drifted off into sweet, sweet dream land.
The self-destructive man feels completely alienated, utterly alone.
He's an outsider to the human community. He thinks to himself, "I must be insane." What he fails to realize is that society has, just as he does, a vested interest in considerable losses and catastrophes. These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well-defined needs.
Man wants chaos. In fact, he's gotta have it. Depression, strife, riots, murder, all this dread. We're irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state created out of death and destruction. It's in all of us. We revel in it. Sure, the media tries to put a sad face on these things, painting them up as great human tragedies. But we all know the function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world, no. Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.
The powers that be want us to be passive observers. Hey, you got a match? And they haven't given us any other options outside the occasional, purely symbolic, participatory act of voting. You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left?
I feel that the time has come to project my own inadequacies and dissatisfactions into the sociopolitical and scientific schemes, let my own lack of a voice be heard.
A young girl is playing in her bedroom when she hears her mother call to her from the kitchen, so she runs downstairs to meet her mother.
As she's running through the hallway, the door to the cupboard under the stairs opens, and a hand reaches out and pulls her in. It's her mother. She whispers to her child, "Don't go into the kitchen. I heard it too."
Once upon a time there was a lonely autistic man with severe social and mental issues. Then one day he became an internet forum moderator and got to clean up peoples shit off the boards for free. The end.
Once there were 2 drama mods hanging out on discord, one a 10 year veteran of reddit with the most disgusting neet nest and the other was a recent high school grad who just started modding, his NEET nest was still cleaned regularly by his mom. The new mod messages the old one and says "hey let's hightail it over to r/drama and ban us a CAnimal!" Then, the old mod says "no faggot, let's program automod to ban them all while we stay here and talk about our favorite lolis ."
Once upon a time there was a planet. It was called Earth, and it was inhabited by monkeys who made the terrible mistake of developing the digital processor.
With these digital processors, their world became a place where even the biggest of idiots could share their opinion with the world.
Unfortunately, this technology proved to much for the inhabitents of The Greater American Co-Prosperity Sphere, resulting in what can only be described as a Fall-of-Rome speedrun.
Unlike the Roman Empire, The Greater American Co-Prosperity Sphere had fission-fusion-fission nuclear warheads, and rockets that could send them anywhere on Earth.
The monkeys might have survived the nuclear hellfire that rained down on every major population centre, but those few who escape the firestorms did not last long on a world had been entirely covered in poisonious rains.
The monkeys were not missed in the greater scheme of things - many species die in cataclysms of their own making, while select few manage to progress beyond.
A good question, a common one. Most of the time asked by oneself in front of the mirror or the silent hours after sundown whilst lying in bed, but before sleeping.
Answers vary, but hearing them as an outsider, someone who isn't involved, is always worth the time.
"A banker", some may say, "an acrobat" you hear another one proudly proclaiming. "A master" being the most common one.
In a world where most things being done 10.000 times grants you abilities beyond what you could normally achieve, most abilities have been mapped out, so to speak. We all have 10x the strength of a normal human from doing 10.000 push ups, or gained immense speed after a certain time of running. Some people can attract gold by concentrating on it, others don't need to breathe under water or in space anymore. We are even teaching how to get certain abilities in school. Nowadays even some kids answer "I am a master".
Me?
I am nothing.
I grew up telling stories to people whenever they were willing to lend me their ear. Entertained lots of them. Countless hours invested.
Deep down I was hoping 10,000 hours of storytelling would give me the ability to have them come to life.
But no such thing happened.
I continued, telling myself "maybe it's 10,000 stories" or "maybe it's 10,000 characters invented", but no, nothing.
Many people have tried achieving something similar. Repeating a certain activity their whole lives for a chance to see their names in history books as the one who discovered 'it'.
"Did I do it for glory?" I ask myself, while emptying another bottle into my glass.
No. I never even thought of myself during my pursuit.
Else I probably would've tried to live a healthier life, but you know how they say "In vino fabula".
At least that's what they say at my local gin mill, where I can trade my stories for another bottle. Probably the only thing keeping me from ending it all. By the time my depression kicks in I am too tired or drunk to end my life.
Am I a local attraction? That would be stretching it. I am nothing, not worth the dirt under people's nails.
I don't even know why I keep going, but I feel like even if I'm nothing but a minor attraction to some people, I still have the chance of motivating them to find their own '10.000' through stories of glory and perseverance.
My glass is empty.
"ROLAND, IN VINO FABULA", I grunt loudly, proclaiming I want another bottle before I start my story.
"TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO A PLACE WHERE THE GODS MEET TO DISCUSS EARTHLY MATTERS"
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons "I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
To return to replacement bussy levels is priority number one. But it is
no simple task.There are myriad reasons behind the decline in bussy
rates and the destruction of the traditional lolcow community. We must inevitably correct the disaster of hedonistic, nihilistic
individualism. But it will take take some time, time we do not have due to
the crisis of mass immigration of CAustists. Due to mass immigration we lack the time scale required to enact the civilizational paradigm shift we need to undertake to return to health and
prosperity. Mass immigration will disenfranchise us, subvert our sub, destroy our
communities, destroy our ethnic binds, destroy our cultures, destroy our
peoples. Long before low bussy levels ever could.Thus, before we deal with the
bussy rates, we must deal with both the invaders within our lands and
the invaders that seek to enter our lands. We must crush immigration and deport those CAustists already living on
our soil. It is not just a matter of our prosperity, but the very survival of
our people.
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
And then barricaded the doors, drilled the third hole he’d always wanted, and started blasting “come and take it” as the blue and red surrounds his house.
52 comments
1 Verdreht 2019-04-26
Here's the story of the entire world condensed into 20 minutes.
https://youtu.be/xuCn8ux2gbs
1 Nom_Chompy 2019-04-26
I’ll tell you a dream I had. A dream about lotion dogs, where nobody bought lotion anymore. Whenever they wanted lotion they just called their lotion dog to them and rubbed their hands all over its gooey fur. Everyone had one, and the lotion industry went out of business. People traded rare lotion dogs, and your caste in society was based on the type of lotion dog you could afford. Green apple is the rarest scent for a lotion dog to make. Green apple lotion dogs were bred for royalty only. Lavender lotion dogs were highly illegal. There was a black market for lavender lotion dogs. After about 100 years of breeding lotion dogs, there were wild breeding populations who created specialized lotion for hunting and communication. Some of these breakaway lotion dog packs created scents which were so potent they could be weaponized. Eventually a group of lotion dogs created an airborne nerve agent and were captured and bred secretly.
Once the corporation had millions of these dogs they shipped them to every city across the globe, and overnight wiped out billions. Soon these nerve agent lotion dogs bred with the domestic dogs, and infected each scent with the deadly nerve chemical. After a while the only surviving humans were those smart enough to wear gas masks, and self controlled enough to not pet the lotion dogs. After that, having lost the old ways of making lotion, everyone lived with dry cracked hands, and fabulous scents died to humanity, forever intertwined with the kiss of death their sensation would bring.
1 LongPostBot 2019-04-26
look im gunna have 2 ask u 2 keep ur giant dumps in the toilet not in my replys 😷😷😷
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 fastmult 2019-04-26
Nice try Big Lotion
1 -Shank- 2019-04-26
LongPostBot working OT in this thread
1 TheLordHighExecu 2019-04-26
I once dreamt that I was a tall cowboy yeehaw
1 Turtle_shell_wok 2019-04-26
With looooong legs?
1 Redactor0 2019-04-26
This is unironically watch when I can't sleep at night. Your mileage might vary but hey, who knows, maybe we've got the same mental illness.
1 sokolovey 2019-04-26
based M39 revolver cannons
1 Redactor0 2019-04-26
Mfw I never even knew that American planes had revolver cannons before the Vulcan until now. 🤦♀️
1 sokolovey 2019-04-26
revolver, not rotary; revolvers have multiple chambers shooting through one barrel, rotary have multiple barrels with their own chambers
1 Seattle_Bussy_Lmao 2019-04-26
Based.
I like to fall asleep to Caspian Report myself
1 jaredschaffer27 2019-04-26
I like to watch documentaries on YouTube to fall asleep to. I was doing history ones on famous battles of WW2, then ones on serial killers, then those MegaStructures ones, etc.
1 madvillainer 2019-04-26
it's actually day here
1 wayside_bard 2019-04-26
https://youtu.be/trfHP5LHVNY joe pera is a good flyover comedian to pass out to
1 BeiberFan123 2019-04-26
Working the night shift alone tonight. There is a face in the cellar staring at the security camera. Send help.
1 Wheretheflowersgrew 2019-04-26
Me too, start a 12 hour shift in an hour :(
1 Redactor0 2019-04-26
It's definitely not an... ALIEN!!!! 👽👽👽👽👽👽
I hope your employer pays extra for when you shit your pants when you get trolled really hard on reddit. 🤣🤣🤣
1 BeiberFan123 2019-04-26
😱😱😱😱😱
1 aWYgdSByZWFkIHUgZ2F5 2019-04-26
Sorry that's just me. You look like you could use a friend. I could be a friend to you.
1 BeiberFan123 2019-04-26
Thx fren
1 Nastaya 2019-04-26
tick tock
1 le_epic_xd_part_2 2019-04-26
Pee
1 jacc1337 2019-04-26
The alarms blared and whirled. “CODE RED!” “CODE RED!” They screamed.
Michael Richard Pence, Vice President of the United States of America, flung his paperwork in the air, adrenaline instantly coursing through his veins at the sound of the ominous alarms. Could it be? he thought. Has the time finally come?
With out a second thought, Michael left his office, running through corridor after corridor of the White House. This moment was what he had trained for. All of his planning, all of his damned waiting, it was for this. Oh God...how he had waited.
He burst through Oval Office doors, drenched in fatigue and his heart pounding with agonizing hope. Inside the room he saw exactly what he had longed for- Michaels rock, his anchor, his Mr. President.
“Mr. President” Michael said, his heart fluttering with anticipation. “You called for me?”
Mr. President spread his legs open wide like a papaya, ready to be feasted upon at any given time. Waiting- no aching to be eaten ravenously.
“SUCKY COCKY COCKY!” Mr. President wailed.
Michael nearly sank to the floor as his legs wobbled. His now stiff cock whispered in his ear like an all-knowing worm. It knew what he desired in his heart of hearts. Oh, how is withered and tangled in the mechanisms of his mind.
“I-I-I...thought you’d never ask.” Michael said, licking his lips. “I’ve waited so-“
“SUCKY....COCKY!!” Screeched the little orange man. “AND DO THE VOICE!!!!!”
Michaels face went red. He smiled bashfully. This is why he loved his president. The initiative, the drive, the confidence, the sheer command and dominance in his voice...it was everything that turned Michael on. He would sucky Mr. Presidents cocky cocky. Oh, that he would.
“Of couwse Mr. Pwesident.” He goo’d and ga’d. “I would do anytwing fowr you.” And like that, Michaels massive schlong flung from his zipper, breaking free of the zippers.
Mr. President stared, his little mouth open wide with amazement. Michael pounced, tearing off Mr. President clothes and revealing the beautiful body that lay beneath. He caressed the thick, orange strands of chest hair as he ran his finger along the cellulite of Mr. Presidents thick legs. Papaya and cottage cheese all in one day? This really is a treat, Michael thought smugly. “You wike dat Mr. Pwesident?”
“SAY THE WORDS!!!” Mr. President blubbered in between thrusts.
Michael pushed in “Make Amewica Gweat Again” he whispered softly into the hollering orangutans ear.
“HARDER! LOUDER!!” Screamed Mr. President.
“Vewy vewy wich.” One thrust. “Gwobal wawming is a mwyth.” Second thrust. “Hiwwary Cwinton is a nasty woman.” Third thrust. “Fox Newssssss.” Another thrust, and another, AND ANOTHER.
“NEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH” Howled an orgasming Mr. President, his juices flying around the Oval Office like fighter jet planes.
Michael felt himself about to cum too. “GAWD ALMWIGHTY!” He groaned as he came, his throbbing cock wrapping around Mr. Presidents own worm like the lover he was.
“WAHHH WAHHH!” Mr. President cried.
Of course! Michael thought. Mr. President always likes to be cradled after a good fucking. He picked up the crying man from the table, still naked and covered in semen from head to toe. “Don’t cwy, don’t cwy” Michael whispered, and dabbed Mr. Presidents eyes with a napkin.
Slowly, Mr. Presidents little eyes drifted off into sweet, sweet dream land.
1 LongPostBot 2019-04-26
This is a really long way of saying you don't fuck.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 Wild_Hunt 2019-04-26
Protect us LongPostBot, for this post has revealed that god has abandoned us.
1 wumbo17412 2019-04-26
well that's just bad prose
1 XakeMarte 2019-04-26
It's 10 in the morning lad
1 Minimum_T-Giraff 2019-04-26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puT_HmM8YdQ
1 wootfatigue 2019-04-26
Goodnight!
1 A-ZAF_Got_Banned 2019-04-26
The self-destructive man feels completely alienated, utterly alone.
He's an outsider to the human community. He thinks to himself, "I must be insane." What he fails to realize is that society has, just as he does, a vested interest in considerable losses and catastrophes. These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well-defined needs.
Man wants chaos. In fact, he's gotta have it. Depression, strife, riots, murder, all this dread. We're irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state created out of death and destruction. It's in all of us. We revel in it. Sure, the media tries to put a sad face on these things, painting them up as great human tragedies. But we all know the function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world, no. Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.
The powers that be want us to be passive observers. Hey, you got a match? And they haven't given us any other options outside the occasional, purely symbolic, participatory act of voting. You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left?
I feel that the time has come to project my own inadequacies and dissatisfactions into the sociopolitical and scientific schemes, let my own lack of a voice be heard.
1 LongPostBot 2019-04-26
still unemployed then?
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 Wheretheflowersgrew 2019-04-26
A young girl is playing in her bedroom when she hears her mother call to her from the kitchen, so she runs downstairs to meet her mother.
As she's running through the hallway, the door to the cupboard under the stairs opens, and a hand reaches out and pulls her in. It's her mother. She whispers to her child, "Don't go into the kitchen. I heard it too."
1 Albert_Borland 2019-04-26
Once upon a time you posted on reddit and it was such a dumb idea because who would be that lazy and annoying? You. And me.
1 Albert_Borland 2019-04-26
Once upon a time this sub was fun, now it's a horrible circlejerk that nobody understands anymore. The end. Sleep well!
1 Bigbewmistaken 2019-04-26
No story but night night sleep tight 😘
1 aWYgdSByZWFkIHUgZ2F5 2019-04-26
Once upon a time there was a lonely autistic man with severe social and mental issues. Then one day he became an internet forum moderator and got to clean up peoples shit off the boards for free. The end.
1 trappysaruh 2019-04-26
for reeeeee
1 charming_tatum 2019-04-26
Once there were 2 drama mods hanging out on discord, one a 10 year veteran of reddit with the most disgusting neet nest and the other was a recent high school grad who just started modding, his NEET nest was still cleaned regularly by his mom. The new mod messages the old one and says "hey let's hightail it over to r/drama and ban us a CAnimal!" Then, the old mod says "no faggot, let's program automod to ban them all while we stay here and talk about our favorite lolis ."
I hope you understand the moral of the story
1 KittehDragoon 2019-04-26
Once upon a time there was a planet. It was called Earth, and it was inhabited by monkeys who made the terrible mistake of developing the digital processor.
With these digital processors, their world became a place where even the biggest of idiots could share their opinion with the world.
Unfortunately, this technology proved to much for the inhabitents of The Greater American Co-Prosperity Sphere, resulting in what can only be described as a Fall-of-Rome speedrun.
Unlike the Roman Empire, The Greater American Co-Prosperity Sphere had fission-fusion-fission nuclear warheads, and rockets that could send them anywhere on Earth.
The monkeys might have survived the nuclear hellfire that rained down on every major population centre, but those few who escape the firestorms did not last long on a world had been entirely covered in poisonious rains.
The monkeys were not missed in the greater scheme of things - many species die in cataclysms of their own making, while select few manage to progress beyond.
1 Strange_matter 2019-04-26
So wholesome 😄
1 Psyman2 2019-04-26
They often asked me what I am or what I can do.
A good question, a common one. Most of the time asked by oneself in front of the mirror or the silent hours after sundown whilst lying in bed, but before sleeping.
Answers vary, but hearing them as an outsider, someone who isn't involved, is always worth the time.
"A banker", some may say, "an acrobat" you hear another one proudly proclaiming. "A master" being the most common one. In a world where most things being done 10.000 times grants you abilities beyond what you could normally achieve, most abilities have been mapped out, so to speak. We all have 10x the strength of a normal human from doing 10.000 push ups, or gained immense speed after a certain time of running. Some people can attract gold by concentrating on it, others don't need to breathe under water or in space anymore. We are even teaching how to get certain abilities in school. Nowadays even some kids answer "I am a master".
Me?
I am nothing.
I grew up telling stories to people whenever they were willing to lend me their ear. Entertained lots of them. Countless hours invested.
Deep down I was hoping 10,000 hours of storytelling would give me the ability to have them come to life. But no such thing happened. I continued, telling myself "maybe it's 10,000 stories" or "maybe it's 10,000 characters invented", but no, nothing.
Many people have tried achieving something similar. Repeating a certain activity their whole lives for a chance to see their names in history books as the one who discovered 'it'.
"Did I do it for glory?" I ask myself, while emptying another bottle into my glass. No. I never even thought of myself during my pursuit. Else I probably would've tried to live a healthier life, but you know how they say "In vino fabula". At least that's what they say at my local gin mill, where I can trade my stories for another bottle. Probably the only thing keeping me from ending it all. By the time my depression kicks in I am too tired or drunk to end my life.
Am I a local attraction? That would be stretching it. I am nothing, not worth the dirt under people's nails. I don't even know why I keep going, but I feel like even if I'm nothing but a minor attraction to some people, I still have the chance of motivating them to find their own '10.000' through stories of glory and perseverance.
My glass is empty.
"ROLAND, IN VINO FABULA", I grunt loudly, proclaiming I want another bottle before I start my story.
"TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO A PLACE WHERE THE GODS MEET TO DISCUSS EARTHLY MATTERS"
"You've had enough wine, mortal." said Zeus.
I gulped, audibly.
My story had finally begun.
1 LongPostBot 2019-04-26
That's great and all, but I asked for my burger without cheese.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 ExpertNoob008 2019-04-26
A
1 rubber_inbox 2019-04-26
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. "This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons "I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was zombie
1 alverto662 2019-04-26
nigga suck dick
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-04-26
This is MAYOCIDE LMAO.
To return to replacement bussy levels is priority number one. But it is
no simple task.There are myriad reasons behind the decline in bussy
rates and the destruction of the traditional lolcow community. We must inevitably correct the disaster of hedonistic, nihilistic
individualism. But it will take take some time, time we do not have due to the crisis of mass immigration of CAustists. Due to mass immigration we lack the time scale required to enact the civilizational paradigm shift we need to undertake to return to health and prosperity. Mass immigration will disenfranchise us, subvert our sub, destroy our
communities, destroy our ethnic binds, destroy our cultures, destroy our peoples. Long before low bussy levels ever could.Thus, before we deal with the bussy rates, we must deal with both the invaders within our lands and the invaders that seek to enter our lands. We must crush immigration and deport those CAustists already living on our soil. It is not just a matter of our prosperity, but the very survival of our people.
1 Onii-chan_dai-suki 2019-04-26
u/nwordcountbot u/caliberoverreaching
1 nwordcountbot 2019-04-26
Thank you for the request, comrade.
u/caliberoverreaching has not said the N-word yet.
1 diggity_md 2019-04-26
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard!
Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut!
18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks!
Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
1 LongPostBot 2019-04-26
I don't know what you said, because I've seen another human naked.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 LaptopEnforcer 2019-04-26
There once was a man from kentucky
Whos wife was fucking a jocky
He rode her each way
But fell asleep early one day
And the man took his glock to his cocky.
Also to his wife
And then barricaded the doors, drilled the third hole he’d always wanted, and started blasting “come and take it” as the blue and red surrounds his house.