Buckle up for the stupidest election in the history of the world

209  2019-04-29 by Strictlybutters

193 comments

His test results were 100% fagginosis, and a partial Tardination of the Brain Ganglia. The boards verdict is repeated quadrasperg alignments.

Outlines:

  1. This Post - Outline

I am a bot for posting Outline.com links. github / Contact for info or issues

You're not even trying to be witty or anything, you're just circlejerking. How does it feel literally karma whoring, like, actually just being a human who cares enough to type multiple comments for no purpose except to draw a nearby majority's attention to the fact that you agree with them?

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is

I am a bot. (Info / Contact)

If it isn't about Andrew Yang I'm not gonna read it

I thought his campaign was already floating in the water after his last few fellowkids attempts. It’s all about Buttigieg at this point. #YangBanged lmao

You wish nerd. Hope youre ready to get your bussy #YANGED when we get our bags, bitch

Andrew Yang will eat your dog

A rack every month for life vs a dog? I choose to secure the bag

$1,000 a month? You can get more than that with a few hundred grand invested. Only cheap whores would choose the #yangwang.

With 1000/mo I can start puppymill and really make money moves.

Then do that

Work vs collect NEETbux? You're really acting like you have an argument there?

Idk I’ve never really dealt with poor people or people staying home all day and being a “NEET”

A few hundred grand? You can get that with literally just 100 grand invested in most years.

Where does that $1k come from? That's $320m a month for the country, or $3.8T per year.

sniff sniff smells like a seriouspost

Money is paper>paper is just trees>trees live in brazil>brazillian girls are now our property.

ive been saying we need to make thick brazilian bitches into valid currency

Like, you wouldn't even need to physically trade them, just pass around ownership titles and let everyone know who has the biggest bitch, wherever she may be.

Shit I'll butcher my dog, stir fry his ass and serve it to the Yang himself as tribute once I get my bags, little dick

Yang is just waiting for the debates to spring his next policies.

“You thought it was $1,000 a month! Now the UBI just got $100 a month larger!”

I hate burger politics so much. As a policy-cel, I think any retard who votes based on stupid shit like "ability to inspire" , "charisma", "can have a beer with", "folksiness", and "Presidentialness" gets raped by a horse. The same shit is happening in Canada, where people are being enthralled by Trudeau's charisma while ignoring the fact that he's no where near as left as he says he is (you're even more retarded if you vote CPC)

America doesn't deserve Trump. It deserves worse.

Bam

Based

and

Now that's a take I can agree with.

I hate burger politics so much

And yet you still pay attention.

Every international autist loves to sperg about how burgerland is retarded but then goes through the effort of cataloging exactly how many extra chromosomes each political party has and why.

Meanwhile, burger autists don't care in the opposite direction.

You wanna know why nobody gives a shit about Trudeau? Because, at the end of the day, his actions only affect maple syrup prices.

hurr Durr why do you pay attention

No shit I pay attention. Just because it's retarded doesn't mean it's not important and doesn't effect. I know Burger education is bad, but I expected better reading comprehension from you. No wonder you keep voting retards into office

SEETHING

Yes

Are you actually seriousposting from a Canadian inferiority complex?

I have an inferiority complex about everything, least of all my country

Why was /u/MikeStoklasaAlcohol suspended?

I made comment about 40% of chapos killing themselves.

Thank you for your service.

o7

Braver than the troops

nice

Don't even bother. Odds are he is - like most of Canada's population - really 3 penguins wearing an ill-fitted human costume.

C O P E

It's over

Important? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Every international autist loves to sperg about how burgerland is retarded but then goes through the effort of cataloging exactly how many extra chromosomes each political party has and why.

The scientific term is Retard Carrier Strength and America has it all. No wonder the rest of us take care not to trigger your tard powers.

I dunno, you're not wrong but it's not mutually exclusive. You gotta admit that burger politics are much dumber than leaf politics.

It's the internet, moose-lover. I don't need to admit shit.

You gotta admit that burger politics are much dumber than leaf politics.

> he thinks that Americans don't know about all the fucking dumb French Leaf Politics and roast you for it behind your back literally all the time

You know we get Letterkenny down here now and that's the most famous export Canada has had since Beiber?

And yet you still pay attention.

can't take my eyes off of the trainwreck

America has the best drama. Europoors are just coping.

The truth though, all politics are fucking shit. You are a fucking deluded piece of shit if you think any of these fuckers cares about you. At least burger politics are incredibly entertaining though.

And yet you still pay attention

Oh well, time to close down /r/drama

tbh its really hard not to pay attention to this shit. Its everywhere

lol just goes to show, you can have a modern first world country with a good economy and an intact and functional judicial system so long as the executive and legislative branches just fling shit at each other and twitterpost about celebrities.

The resilience of the American system the last 2 years is something to be thankful for, but then again you're a Euro or Leaf, so why are you even speaking to us?

why are you speaking to us

I'm a leaf and a curry-cel. It's the ultimate cockroach (not the Turkish kind) combo. You can't avoid me.

Meh you could be a leaf, a curry-cel and from Quebec.

Queer-bec

Fusing the curry-cel accent with French sounds like such an abomination to me I imagine what existing Indian population resides in Quebec are actively planning an exit strategy to escape hostile locals.

Ew dude, do not ever talk to me again

Arent you in rural Idaho? You should be happy there's anyone to talk to.

I'm in metro Idaho. Fucking 700,000 other people around me. It's these goddamn Californian immigrants.

Califags are a blight and I say this as someone who lives in California. 😔

You can move here, bud. I'll even let you borrow my underwear to help you fit in.

Lmao my University is literally across the street from where I live. I'd be a tard to move. 😁

Well then I'm taking my underwear offer back

Can I still have the underwear? 😔😁

Only because I think you sometimes make funny comments.

👖👖👖

Awe 🤗

✌👍👍👌

What are you studying? Bussyology?

How much gentrification is there?

It's still a real low cost of living area, so not a whole lot.

nth gen "curry" or 1st gen?

1st, but I came early so I never became a FOB

The resilience of the American system

If resilient means getting absolutely nothing done

"It does." - Thomas Jefferson

Good. I used to have an app on my phone (The Samsung Poverty if anyone's interested in my EDC) that showed what bills passed the House and the Senate. If none of that is happening, the country is objectively better off.

Until the next disaster and everyone is like waah waah why didn't the guvmint do something let's go invade a country

Well in that case, all we can hope is the next disaster is caused by Canada

let's go invade a country

What's wrong with that ?

Power abhors a vacuum, if the legislature stops passing laws, some other entity will eventually step in to fill in the gaps. Right now the president is doing that by passing tons of questionable executive orders. That is the road to dictatorship.

On the other hand, if you genuinely do have a system of government where nothing at all can ever get passed and the executive is also heavily weakened - well Poland tried that once, it's the main reason it wasn't in the map for 150 years. Other nations stepped in to fill in the vacuum.

I'd also like to point out that one of the main reason only inconsequential balkanized legislation gets through congress is precisely because of all the gridlock. I prefer a strong system where society is allowed to change, experiment, and gasp, make mistakes, to one that is eternally paralyzed and just exists to preserve ancient traditions. A system that doesn't bend will break.

r/Drama is only home to RADICAL centrists. The true way to have drama is to have both sides flinging massive piles of shit bills. Fuck this pussy ass do nothing and we'll be better off, goddamn Boomer ideology, OUT OUT OUT

I wish you a protracted illness followed by an agonizingly slow recovery

Benign neglect.

USA
functional judicial system or any sound and decent institutions.

Burgers are REALLY something. It must be a product of your mediocre primary and secondary education system.

lol the world superpower's system (which includes the longest continually in use Constitution on Earth) vs whatever Europe-tier country you come from where there's a major war every 50 years.

C O P E, imagine thinking you're the sole superpower in a multi-polar world after you've had 2 tards out of your first 3 leaders in the 21st century. Combined with a broke 2 party system taken over by extremistards, and a broken system of representation where 15% of your population controls half of your most important legislative house.

You were certainly cutting edge for 1776 Lmao. iT's over for burgers

15% of your population controls half of your most important legislative house

Wow dude, the level of antisemitism from you Euros is absurd. We try to be better than that here.

imagine thinking you're the sole superpower in a multi-polar world

You're right, the Chongers are up there too. Where's Belgium at? Probably with all the other Euro countries that couldn't bomb fucking Libya without stealth tech from God's Country.

Your rurals and flyover country, u tarded burger, your education system really shows.

I guess we'll just have to be content with our high quality of life, higher happiness levels, better transit, and affordable healthcare and university systems.

Sounds a lot better then blowing our money in luxury wars for no strategic gain at all.

Sounds a lot better then blowing our money in luxury wars for no strategic gain at all.

There's more Euros that won't consider visiting America ever again because of our politics. That alone is a huge strategic gain.

I actually enjoyed my visit to America, you have a decent country, but you're not the best and your politics are retard. Some honest introspection would be good for you all as a whole, but that won't be delivered unfortunately.

What're your views on HDI ?

Did you even consciously notice you switched partway through the list to "affordable" from "high/higher/better" or does coping for euro-quality just come naturally?

My state only has a population of 1.4 million, but it has enough firepower to obliterate the living fuck out of your irrelevant frozen shithole so don't fucking talk shit about my country again you faggot.

Hi, ParkingExcitement!

I am here to offer you a robot hug, and to wish you the best day of your life!

-HappyFriendlyBot

Wouldn't that be the Magna Carta?

Imagine thinking that the Magna Carta was actually enforced and not just something that later historians latched onto when they were trying to make history follow a straight line toward democracy. 🙄🙄🙄

Imagine thinking that the constitution was actually endured and not just something that later historians latched onto when they were trying to make history follow a straight line toward democracy. 🙄🙄🙄

Imagine being Watermark. 😂😂😂

The longest existing codified constitution. Not the longest existing constitution. Also, in a broader sense there are parts of the American constitution that aren't codified and merely developed as tradition.

Also really the only reason the American constitution has worked so long is that there are a couple of clauses that can be interpreted to grant very broad and general powers, and in general the government has run wild with this to do basically whatever.

Like the current reading of the constitution basically gives congress the power to regulate anything that could conceivably have an effect on interstate trade. So basically all trade ever, and in fact many things that are not even trade. The entirety of federal criminal law, for instance, basically derives from the interstate commerce clause. Like if you murder someone, that sort of effects trade right (dude won't be able to go to work I guess), which might ripple into other states.

Also the general welfare clause, which basically now means that congress can spend tax money on anything it wants to. And the necessary and proper clause, which gives bountiful opportunities to create new powers to aid in the execution of others. Especially evil in combination with one of the other clauses that are vague af anyway; now not only does the government have an extremely vague catch all power, it can decide that it needs other powers to help it enforce some law it passed under the catch all clauses.

Please don't cite the 10th ammendment to me. The 10th amendment was cleverly written in a way that it seems to be a vast restriction on the power of the federal government, but in practice is almost meaningless. In fact Madison intentionally wrote the amendment this way. The key point is that the 10th does not require that a power be expressly delegated. So a power does not have to be explicitly mentioned, it can be derived from some other power. So it does nothing to restrict abuse of these vague catch all powers that are just interpreted to mean basically anything. The government derives countless powers from the intestate commerce clause, yeah the constitution doesn't specially mention them, but the 10th didn't say that it has to. It basically says that the government has the powers that it does. It's practically redundant.

Many people read expressly into the 10th amendment for some reason and thus argue that the constitution isn't being followed because something isn't expressly mentioned in the constitution. But the 10th amendment makes no such argument.

You can type 10,000 characters and you decided that these were the one's that you wanted.

I am a bot. Contact for questions

My God dude, what on Earth are you doing with this post? I'm making fun of Euros and you're 1000 words into a seriouspost without a fucking joke or a single party parrot.

The resilience of the American system the last 2 years is something to be thankful for

Unironically this is why I wasn't butthurt about Trump winning. The man is an idiot. People like to go on and on about how he's corrupt, but even if he is, it's all small time petty shit. You put a smart person in that office with an actual corrupt agenda and some real damage can be done. Someone like a certain Lizardperson in a pantsuit... we probably dodged a bullet there.

tbh all I care about are guns and public lands, so far as I'm concerned, life is good.

Lizardperson in a pantsuit

you're not wrong buddy

Do you honestly believe you are smarter than Trump, or are you saying that to fit in with the centrists?

I'm pretty sure you're smarter than Trump, and that's really saying something.

I wish I was. My life would be better.

If you have fewer than a dozen brain worms, you are smarter than Trump.

I hate burger politics so much.

Nah, I love it, TBH. It's so entertaining. It's fun to watch 500 lb burgers sperg out.

raped by a horse

too shreds you say?

Kamala's picture above there is strangely fitting. It's like she's taking the place of Jesus in a 15th century devotional painting, imploring God to deliver her from her suffering, except her suffering isn't dying for mankind's sins, it's dealing with the USA's retarded populace

As a policy-cel, I think any retard who votes based on stupid shit like "ability to inspire" , "charisma", "can have a beer with", "folksiness", and "Presidentialness" deserves to get raped by a horse.

You're on arr-drama you fuckin retard

Maybe you'd understand why it's important for politicians to be likeable if you weren't a loser who nobody anywhere likes.

No needs to like authority figures. They just need to do their job. If you're such a colossal retard that you need to vote for people who pretend to be your friend, you really shouldnt be alive.

I want a worse trump tbqh.

i was with you until the horse rape.

Animals cannot consent sweaty. It would be humans raping the horse and that's violence against one of my spirit animals.

people are being enthralled by Trudeau's charisma

I thought that veil has already been lifted with the corruption allegations, his India trip, and his handling of China.

No, people still like him. Not because of his policies (that's up for debate but he's better than Harper imo), but because of his personality. Mulcair wouldn't been better.

America doesn't deserve Trump. It deserves worse.

America deserves Trudeau

No. The deserve Duterte, or Jill Stein.

What about Oprah?

In truth we all deserve Duterte

I wrote a short story once.

Cuck

But the fact that he does very little because hes not actually as left as his words would imply is Trudeau's only redeeming quality. In contrast to what an actual leftist would've done he didn't fuck up the dank corporate tax rate/associated regulations, didn't reform the voting system to let the leftists achieve a permanent victory and also didn't do anything to fuck up the actually-pretty-great immigration system.

you're even more retarded if you vote CPC

Only because we can't clone Harper 😞

clone Harper

You don't need to clone a robot. Just use the assembly line.

I wouldn't mind a Lougheed type Conservative. That man was based

Woke capitalism is such cancer. They fuck over the working class and then claim the moral high ground with random woke shit. All it winds up doing is inspiring resentment against minorities, who in reality usually weren't involved in any of this shit and are just being used as human shields.

snappy quote?

Imagine being an NDP-cel, that’s just fucking embarrassing.

I hate current NDP tbh. It should've been Cullen

Nah that’s going to be 2024.

No Trump, No Biden/Hillary/Bernie

One day they will run out of boomers to desperately put forward for all high office and positions of authority. But today is not that day.

I can't wait for the dinosaurs to return.

u/Cdace for president?

Daily reminder that Kamala Harris is a 5'2" womanlet.

They really try to take pictures like she’s a 6’ goddess.

Eww are you saying she's a burger

From all the videos and pictures I’ve seen, I really thought she was tall. My mind is blown learning she is 4 inches away from being a certified midget.

That's kinda based honestly

Former SF mayor and pimp daddy Willie Brown nonetheless.

Kamala literally slept her way to the top.

Source? Proof?

Just a google search and you’ll find plenty of rightoids cackling about Willie Brown admitting to it. https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2019/01/willie_brown_admits_it_kamala_harris_slept_her_way_to_the_top.html

I'd prefer a site with fewer than four different font colors, but this will have to do

Publicly dating a celebrated politician for clout is one of the least slimy things politicians do to get power

I wish I could sleep with Kamala Harris to gain clout 😩😣😖

Is she Asian or Mexican?

[removed]

She is Hillary 2.0.

No, Hillary at least had the balls to murder her snitches, Harris doesn’t have that kind of will to power. Lame.

I have information

So dish

Purity spiraling already i see

Imagine being against a woman being able to defender herself.

You mean being a rapist?

>be a cop and an all-round piece of shit

"Yaaass kween so honorable and presidential!"

>own a handgun

"GUN BAD REEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

what's wrong with her being a cop

it makes trying to get the melanin-american vote a very difficult prospect

she's black, they'll vote for her.

It's really a stretch to refer to her as black.

If she claimed she was italian I would believe it.

Mkay you're thinking like a mayonnaise american and i'ma need you to stop. she's black she has the vote end of story. You can try to put lipstick on a pig but bernie/yang/whoever isn't black and won't get 90 percent of the black vote like this bitch.

He also mentioned her being a complete piece of shit.

This does not matter in politics

If Biden doesn’t win the nomination I’m mentally preparing for the greatest shitshow on earth.

On one hand I want to see Trump lose and see him and all the right wing-cels squirm and cry bloody murder,on the other him being elected again would cause the biggest nuclear explosion since Chernobyl. Either way its gonna be amazing.

At this point it feels like the left wants to lose so they'll keep their victim points, so they keep self-sabotaging their own side.

I either want Bernie to win so his supporters can feel the exact same despair and betrayal that Trump supporters felt when Trump wasn't actually able to follow through on his promises because a president isn't a king- or for Trump to win so Reddit spergs out again.

Either one is ideal.

I think seeing reddit sperging out on Bernie not able to get his policies through would be more enjoyable than having Trump again. As all the lefties would lose their minds to say the least.

The amount of cope from dramas. It would be glorious. 🤤

I am not sure if they cope or fall on their swords defending him on why he's not able to pass any of his policies. This is besides them blaming republicans.

The cope from Trumpcels would be so much greater than anything the left could ever pull off. Early November 2016, Trump threatened to call bullshit on the election if he didn't win. Imagine that in 2020, but this time he's President.

I don't know as the lefties would certainly cheer until Bernie didn't get his way and they throw a fit. Trump though I can see not stepping down as president and acting like a kid.

I think we're going to get a quasi-best of both worlds. Mainstream reddit politics, for a while, will be a flamewar between the hardcore Bernie crowd and the #enoughberniespam types, who will then unite to #fucktrump when Bernie ultimately gets cucked yet again. Then, when whatever establishment DNC candidate fails to beat Trump on a platform of nothing but not being him, the whole site loses it for 72 hours and several subreddits lock submissions.

Probably.

either way is good for drama

And Biden owns a penis, aka the most dangerous weapon of the modern age! disqualification when?

He's pretty easy to avoid though. Just make yourself odorless and he is unable to detect your prescence.

ugh. harris owning a piece might be the only reason i'd vote for her cop ass.

My corn is buttered.

🌽

Disqualified because it's a glorious Mosin of the proletariat instead.

Also, who the fuck was waiting for the host of fucking Candid Camera to tell them who to vote for?

owns and carries handgun for protection

In a city where non-government people are banned from owning guns

Lmao

Rules for thee, but not for me.

The campaign aide, whom CNN did not name, scrambled to explain that the senator's handgun was purchased years ago and is locked up. 

I guarantee she hasn't put a single round through that thing since it was purchased. If you're going to own a gun, you better know how to shoot it. Hitting the range a few times a week or taking some tactical shooting classes would be bad optics for her limp-wristed constituency.

The absolute cuckery of that statement is hilarious. Either be staunchly anti-gun, and never be around them, or just admit to being a total gun degenerate like me with a huge stash

As if being a literal cop is the actual reason people shouldn’t vote for her. Boomer libs never cease to amaze me.

Peter Funt is a writer and host of "Candid Camera."

zozzle

Dear lord, this reads like something a gun nut would write as satire

ffs, she is a legit target of course she should have a gun.

Plus, having a gun is what will make her more electable in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

What is burger politics?

Humans should breathe oxygen.

tHaT's A pOlIcY oF tHe NrA.

Hot take: Gun ownership is a feminist issue because it makes women physical equals to men.

it makes women physical equals to men.

[citation needed]

At a time when Democrats are toughening their positions on gun control and seeking to make it a core issue in the 2020 campaign

It's going to be fucking hilarious when Trump wins again.

He is worse than a Jew, he is—may Allah forgive me for saying this—a SRDine.

Outlines:

  1. This Post - Outline

I am a bot for posting Outline.com links. github / Contact for info or issues

😤

I love this shit. We literally cannot begin to understand how absolutely ridiculous things are going to get.

Possession of a gun is a non-violent, victimless crime.

Californias top cop at it again