Yoga instructor gets lost for 2 weeks in tiny forest in Maui. What useless color is she? That's right, white as mayo and just as stupid.

43  2019-05-25 by lifesbrink

24 comments

This might come as a shock to you, but I do not care about your opinions, your ignorance or failure to comprehend the research, or what you believe. The only thing I care about, and I can not stress this enough, is what the empirical research says. And it says you are wrong.

Your personal opinion? worth as much as a pile of dog shit on the sidewalk to me. That is the absolute extent to which I care about what you think. This is where I stopped reading. I do not entertain the economic illiteracy of far leftists or far right-wing tards.

Both are equally misinformed on average, both are failures.

Snapshots:

  1. Yoga instructor gets lost for 2 wee... - archive.org, archive.today

I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

Her bf, also white:

"She's my soulmate, she's the love of my life and I feel that she's still out there. ... I'd really like to stop spending my evenings alone and have my love back," he said at the time.

You know she sneeded and feeded her way through the country

He was probably shitting himself the whole time thinking he was about to get Gone Girl'd. Hopefully he learns from this and splits.

soulmate

That man is clueless for life.

why you would go get lost like a retard in a tiny rainforest and not just post up at Maui Brewing and drink yourself to death is beyond me

I wish I was doing that rn

I think we are soul mates

Yoga belongs in suburbs and pornhub, not africa

how the fuck do you get lost in a forest on a fucking island?

bitch follow the fucking stream to where it hits the ocean and boom there'll be a god damn resort. it's fucking hawaii after all.

By wanting to be lost. Guaranteed she has some tall tale baloney about how it was a spiritual awakening

hey let's not be too critical - if you look at a map of the area she was in you'll see that in some directions it's almost a 5 hour walk before you hit a main road, following rivers to the sea (ignoring the roads you'd have to cross) could take almost a single days walk!

50k reward 🤔🤔🤔

Fuck that, the entire island is basically one big mountain. Any direction but up will eventually get you somewhere.

Seriously. She made it 4 miles in two weeks. Useless sack of shit.

She lost her shoes a few days in.

Lol

It is 2019 and Yahoo still exists.

Ever read the comments on an article? It's predictably all boomers.

bishes be crazy

Totally boomers

Eller was in good condition

had been living on water and plants.

no injuries

just hours before she was found, the reward for finding Eller was raised to $50,000.

Days until it's revealed she planned this shit with her fiance to get her hands on daddy's wallet? Maybe 5?

I admit, I didn't think of this theory. Definitely a possibility

A quick google maps distance calculator shows that she couldn't have been more than 16 miles from the ocean at any point. Even with heavy brush, she should have been out of there and on the coast in 2 days or less. Mayo women have no sense of wilderness.

> "yoga instructor and physical therapist"

this bitch unemployed as fuck

But hey, she just got free advertising!