I’m trying to understand if Pakistani American women in general reject Pakistani culture. Being raised in us from age 9 I always felt I didn’t belong to either Pakistan or us, but I feel an obligation to preserve what it means to be a Pakistani which includes religion, customs etc. Based on my experience of interacting with Pakistani American women, conclusion is that they don’t feel such obligation or kinship with Pakistan. Take my own sister for an example. If I had to rate her, she’d be average. We have an amazing rishta from a religious American Pakistani man who is an engineering manager making good money from a great family. My sister on the other hand has been wasting parents’ money for 4 years in private college and has changed her major 4 times in those 4 years and is still two years away from graduation. She keeps failing her classes and retaking them. I honestly don’t see what this successful, tall, religious man sees in her, but I’m glad this problem in our family may finally be taken care of by some fool. You would think she would be glad for this rishta, but she’s finding the smallest perceived flaws in this man and is taking the rishta casually. I don’t wish to be rude but she doesn’t really know her “worth” having been spoiled by parents and me from our hard earned income. And my sister is actually a very tame American Pakistani primarily because of my influence of not tolerating her u-know-what.

I created a profile on Muzmatch which is a Muslim marriage finding app and have been devastated to say the least of what I have found. Princesses who think they are chiseled gold are what I found. I’m 5,7”—short yes; have no time for demanding women—yes; but I would like to think I’m a good man. At age 25 I earn close to 200k usd. I bust my ass every day working 10-12 hours a day. Last year I benched 315 lbs and look good in real life—multiple white friends have told me this. I’m not photogenic, but I am sure my picture is at least a 6-7. On the app I get close to 20 Pakistani American women—90 percent of whom I wouldn’t look twice at in real life—visit my profile a week and swipe left which basically means reject me. Looking at these princesses’ profiles with fat noses, enough makeup to paint a building with, ridiculous duck faces, and comedy worthy sayings like “I’m high maintenance but worth it” would repulse any man with a shred of self-respect. What’s shocking is that it’s not a few but hundreds of like minded beasts on this app. The few—mostly below me in looks/career—who do match with me play games like responding once a day, wasting my time by superficial talk, acting like they are better than me, etc. One woman in Canada got off on making fun of Pakistani students studying abroad calling them the derogatory word that “begins with f and ends with a b” and other such insults without knowing in college I was actually friends with and felt comfortable with these students. If these women are representative of Pakistani American women and which they are considering it’s not a handful but HUNDREDS of like women of Pakistani origin, Islam/Pakistani culture is lost from if not this generation then definitely the next Pakistani American generation. I don’t know if it’s the same case for Muslim American women of other culture but it’s a very sad state of affairs. I can’t find any good woman who I would at least be slightly attracted to in terms of both looks and charm to marry here in us. I honestly don’t care if these women lose their way and either end up alone with cats or marry some nonMuslim/whatever. I actually hope this is what happens to them. I honestly don’t know why I thought growing up I would find someone of Pakistani culture like me. I feel I was brainwashed growing up with how Pakistani women are because that caring, feminine charm is gone from these Pakistani American women. It’s been more than a shock on these apps/marriage sites. this rant is how I end my day laying in a luxury studio in downtown Seattle, alone another night. But I’d rather retire early and die alone—we all die alone really—than be a slave of any of these “women” in pants. I’m waiting no longer for the “one.”