One of the problems with governments in Capitalist societies is that there are strong incentives for corruption. The corrupt politician receives some sort of payment in exchange for changing laws in a way that don’t really hurt them very much, but may hurt many relatively ignorant people a little in ways that may not become obvious for many years. As long as the downsides are not enough to get the people to throw the corrupt politician out, the politician can continue in this way forever, sacrificing the good of the many for the few.

The problem here is that all of the benefits are gathered in the corrupt politicians direct family and maybe a few friends and powerful supporters, and that all of the costs are distributed across a wide population. Your constituents only matter to you in the fact that you need their votes, and sometimes even that is iffy. For example, something that only hurts people down the road isn’t worth worrying about, because you need to get re-elected now, or you’ll be retired by then.

So, in order to fix the political system, we need to change the distribution of costs and benefits. The most critical part is that the politician must have incentive to maximize the benefits he provides to his constituency, and suffer a more personal cost that is proportional to the costs that the constituency will have to pay.

The obvious solution is to bring back prima nocta. For the ignorant rubes among us, prima nocta is the right of a ruler to have a woman's first night, typically cucking husbands on their wedding night. This way, a politician will have an unknown number of children across their constituency. We’ve decentralized the benefits to the politician's bloodline and anonymized them. The politician is now much more incentivized to do what’s best for their constituency as a whole, because their children are likely among them. They are also incentivized to do what’s best in something more like a 20 year timeline, rather than looking only to the next election.

Understanding this, we can safely say that Donald Trump is likely to be among the most caring and ethical politicians in the world, as he has likely sired a large number of children among the numerous prostitutes, models, and children he's slept with over the years. Likely only matched by Bill Clinton in an overall caring for the general populous.

Of course, to implement a more formal prima nocta system would be a highly controversial plan in 2019, because only male politicians will have these incentives. Female politicians should therefore be abolished.

This can be considered my official announcement for candidacy. Vote itsnotmyfault for /r/drama mod 2020