Hahaha, you were so butthurt you reported all my posts to the moderators too.

You win this one, I'm not allowed to make fun of you anymore. Enjoy living your internet life every day, goodbye.

Snapshots:

1. Absolute chad highschooler pumps an... - archive.org, archive.today

I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

You just know some incel typed this story up to get his rocks off fantasizing about being the gigachad in that story.

Anyway roastie BTFO

It's definitely someone under the age of 18 because if they were older they would know that you can tell that someone's a high schooler within 5 mins of meeting them even if they look older.

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Shut up incel

Shut up femoid

No u celcel

there's as big a gap between a 24 year old and an 18 year old as there is between an 18 year old and a premature baby

Depending on the area of study, there are some jaw-droppingly stupid people getting into colleges these days, including graduate level in certain schools.

PHD in Art History btw

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Yeah, the statement that there's a large gap between 17-18 year old high schoolers and university students is something that's only true as an average. I don't think it even depends on area of study at all. If maturity is based on self-sufficiency defined as financially/emotionally living on ones own, 25% of 20-34 year olds live with their parents.

Idk if they’re use reddit and a PhD student I bet they have zero social skills to recognize that

good point

From my experience dating a female grad student should be considered pedophilia.

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“Hey what’s up fellow adult, do you want to split this wine cooler and talk about mowing the grass?”

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I dunno snally, I have the hairy Mediterranean genes that helped me get into bars as an 18-year-old.

Not a Chad obviously but I used to be taken quiet seriously when I used to do political serious posts on this site in my mid teens. Adults aren't all smart, it doesn't exactly take much to impress them.

Should have made the football player 16, dudes not even good at being an incel.

should I tell his football coach?

Why? So the coach and congratulate him lol

tons of redditors in there saying the coach would bench him/kick him off the team if he learned of his antics

pretty obvious theyve never met a male coach from any sport

I think even a golf coach would congratulate this guy

I'm pretty sure a female water-polo coach would congratulate that guy.

The captain of the chess team would as well I’m pretty sure

I bet her own brother was like "sweet dude good job" until he realized it was his sister getting fucked.

I bet you thought this comment would continue the chain of circlejerk

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I bet I liked this comment the most

I win this bet. The winnings are one incel soul, so I can poke and laugh at him.

incel

soul

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I've never seen a female water polo coach

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Our wrestling coach was fucking the guidance counselor, who was fucked a couple seniors herself. I guarantee he would have given this guy high fives.

My highschool wreseling coach didn't want us having girlfriend but that was beacuse he believed ejaculating made you week and having girlfriends made you soft or something like that.

Bitches be stealing your precious bodily fluids.

always deny the foid your essence

Like most wrestling coaches, he probably thought catching or bottoming would improve your wrasslin' experience as well

It's true. Females are demons who only want to seduce you and drain you of your essence to make you easier to manipulate and eventually enslave. This has been shown time and time again.

redditors dont even go outside, let alone white knights lol most of those white knights would run out of breath just from walking over to the field

As if the whole school don't know anyway at that point

Que a bunch of incels pretending locker room talk isn’t a thing.

Based

To ensure that her little brother's locker room hazing is as brutal as imaginable.

Our basketball coach would always joke about date nights after Friday/Saturday games

My football coach would tell everyone at a fill study and rip on them if they were a minority

Based AF

He called a Puerto Rican kid on our team “quesadilla” it was actually pretty funny because he was this boomer southern white guy that played football at an HBCU

How can one man be so based. I’m in medical school and I have one professor who makes fun of all the muzzy names. Based as fuck also.

Dude was 0-70 as a HC before coming to us and getting his first W. We carried him on our shoulders and dumped gatorade on him

Med schools are 90% Muslims, he won't get much love in class if he keeps making fun of them.

There is like three in mine mostly white dudes and Asian women.

Sounds like a pretty cool guy. She should feel fortunate to have been his slam piece for a little while.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Theme.mp3

Fake. A real teen would have milked this for as long as possible.

Wrong. First thing I did after fucking my teacher was tell the whole school.

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How is the dude still the creep in this writing prompt?

hoesmad.mp4

For real though I knew some sad, lonely 24 year-old grad students back in the day who 100% who watched Sweet Home Alabama too many times and thought "oh I could just move home and use my extreme smarts to find a hunky golden-retriever-in-a-man's-body and life would be so simple because I am sooooo smart". They would fall for this kinda shit 100%. That kind of smart foid who didn't get laid in high school always regrets not getting plowed by the dumb dude she used to look down on.

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There was no mention of poopers being plowed and this upsets me greatly

That detail is the only reason I even looked at this post. At least I know now not to read this clearly fake horseshit.

💩🎣tbh

You ever had shit dick?

as long as she calls me "Daddy" while I"m busting in her fecal fallopians, I don't care how musty my dick smells afterwards

Yeah, I'm over the age of 19.

If you haven't had poo on your dick by age 19 you are a virgin

There is. I saw it in a comment she said something bout "I guess that's why I let him talk me in to butt sex". Hahahah

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'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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how is this bitch so dumb and getting a PhD

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Looks like it got y’alled. Here’s the post:

This story his hugely embarrassing to me so I need some neutral input as to whether or not I’m thinking of doing the right thing or doing things for revenge.

I’m in my hometown this summer taking a break from my PhD program which has about killed me. I met the sweetest, cutest, built like a Greek god guy at my parents golf club in July. We hit it off like crazy and I was honestly in love with him after about 1.5 days. It was just such a relief to have someone seem so genuinely interested in me and get a break from my dissertation, advisors, students, papers, etc... and just be 24 again. He said he was 21 and would regularly buy drinks when we’d go out and he certainly maneuvered through the world like he knew what he as doing.

After two weeks he abruptly dumped me. I was truly devastated but I figured it was my wake up call to get back to reality and I’m not the type of person who falls in love after one date. So as much as it hurt, I didn’t ask him for any explanations or to reconsider. Still I pined for him like crazy.

Well revelation of all revelations, I ran into him yesterday when I was picking my 16 year old brother up from football practice. We had an awkward stare through the windshield and my brother figured out something was up immediately and was like “dude are you the Emily he’s been talking about?” I told my brother to shut the fuck up and it was silent the whole way home aside from my idiot brother snickering. I wanted to crawl in my closet and die. I felt so used, gross, dirty and sick. This amazing two weeks with someone I really fell for and would always cherish was actually me being tricked by a high schooler. A high schooler. When I felt like I could finally talk to my brother I asked him how old AJ really was and he assured me that he was 18. He knew because he’d been to his birthday party in June. I didn’t have the guts to ask what the “locker room talk” had been but I was relieved to know I didn’t do anything illegal. I asked my brother to please use discretion and he’s cool so I can trust him. I was sad yesterday and today I’m really mad. Like want revenge mad. I want to call the school and say he’s running around with a fake ID and probably using a stolen credit card (he was house sitting for his brother). I want to call the coach and tell him that he’s a creep who used deception to build up his credibility among his peers and really hurt me in the process. I know I’m not thinking clearly...so...WIBTA?

Edit: I feel like this needs a Clark Griswold drumroll...my brother is back from morning weight training. I guess AJ pulled him aside and profusely apologized for him having to hear all the “locker room talk” and promised he’d knock if off now that he knows I’m his sister. He also said he really, really liked me and didn’t know how to keep up the charade since his brother would be coming home and he’d be going back to his parents. He asked my brother if now that I know the truth would be it me ok to call me again and discuss what happened. I don’t know how to respond to that but...I think AJ is far more mature than I am because I wanted scorched earth, he wants to talk.

LOOOOOOOOOOOL BTFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'D