Sorry man. This isn't halal. You're going to have to remove it.

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Sentience

When the dramatards obsess over something, they do not let it go until it's completely torn apart. You're the pitbulls of people, but with less to contribute to society.

Snapshots:

1. Jeffrey Epstein Autopsy Results Sho... - archive.org, archive.today

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I, for one, totally believe this.

The New York Times has never steered us wrong before

I mean it's just what the medical examiner reported right? Death by hanging caused by apparent suicide. It's not like that means there weren't outside factors or he could have been forced to or whatever, just means the man has injuries which are best explained by hanging.

They told us not to go to Iraq and Vietnam don't you know.

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Unironically this

Case closed. No need to look into this any further. Looks like justice was served here.

Well, I guess those conspiracy nuts feel stupid now. Guess we’ll never know the extent of his crimes.

The conspiracy nuts could have personally watched him hang himself and would still call foul play.

"He had a speaker in his ear that someone used to tell him to kill himself or get brutally tortured"

Yeah shit happens, let's just move on since it was proven that he didn't got killed.

U realize niggas can force the man to hang right?

I too have seen the wire

until the private pathologist hired by Epstein’s lawyer signs off on the findings we cannot say for sure 2Pac isn't alive and well.

r/Conspiracy btfo

This is what depression looks like.

I think the funniest thing ever is pretty much everyone knows he was killed but absolutely nothing will happen to anyone involved

Remember when the Panama papers came out and they showed the global elite were all scheming together to avoid paying taxes and absolutely nothing happened to anyone? Good times.

I do remember that.

I think some folks in Iceland sent a sternly-worded fax. I believe the wealthy apologized and ended poverty

The Gates Foundation reallocated 1% of its budget away from dark money sex trafficking pedophile schemes, so a full 2% actually goes to malaria or whatever the fuck they usually pretend they're doing now.

Well the primary investigator got car bombed so there's that

Like the mysterious car bombings that were impossible to explain?

Avoiding taxes isn’t a big deal. We all wish we had enough money that funding a banana republic was cheaper than paying taxes

The way you become rich and powerful is by fucking kids, have you not seen the infomercial?

Does being fucked as a lid count for partial credit

Thank G-d I’ve limited it to watching anime

So why am I still poor

You're not hitting it right

I thought that was how you lose weight.

Well I mean it's possible people in power just made it possible, but why would he want to live though? Like you don't need a hitman, just get him off watch.

what can you do? who will police the police and all.

I think that's the general feeling in 2019.

No one dares. The british crown has a long history of terminating it's enemies.

Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

I just realized that I've spent 35 years thinking that line was from Big Trouble in Little China.

So Chinatown is like...an entirely different movie? That changes things.

Chinatown has some primo Jack Nicholson ass shots. 10/10 highly recommended

If you want a hard hitting movie about zoning regulations Chinatown is your jam.

It's fantastic but really it's mostly about the dirty politics of zoning regs.

I just read the wiki, isn't this basically the same real estate scheme Lex Luthor was trying to pull in Christopher Reeves' Superman?

All capeshit is just recycled plots

Two classics

From the director that fucks kids

yeah that has always been amusing, lol

Nothing to see here goy go back to your marvel movies

Well I guess that settles it.

The media never lies 🤥

Fact!

Fake it until you make it.

lmao

Mr. Epstein’s autopsy showed that he had a broken hyoid bone that could have been a sign of strangulation as well as of suicide by hanging.

6% of hangings result in broken hyoid vs 34% for manual strangulation

6% is not 0%.

It's still unlikely. Not out to prove anything. Given that an ex-cop roid monster was in his cell last month and injured his neck specifically, it's pretty sketch for a newspaper to omit the fact that the hyoid fracture "could have been a sign of strangulation as well of hanging" when it's 5 times as likely to happen in the case of the former

My goal in life is to reach a position where if I die by my own hand, retards on the internet will become so convinced it was a murder that it will ruin the news cycle for at least 6 months.

I wish more suicidal people had a healthy sense of humor and committed suicide in super suspicious ways, like literally shooting themselves in the back of the head while handcuffed. If you think about it it's not at all difficult to pull out, but is guaranteed to cause lots of drama. But no, selfish fucks die uselessly instead.