I noticed a complete lack of Jason Genova content in this sub so I'm guessing that no one's ever heard of him. I'll try to do some effort so I can spread the word of the Genova's Witnesses. Yes I ripped a lot of this from Genovapedia. No I don't have shame. Yes I want karma.

Disclaimer: This writeup is wholly inadequate and amateur. Any factual errors may or may not be corrected. I'll also probably be jumping around the timeline when the story calls or when I feel like it. I'll only do the beginning of the story right now because I want to farm the karma. If I miss any of your favorite ments, it's only because there are way too many to cover them all. I'll try to get most of the major ones in.

Chapter 1: Birth of the Pisslord

Jason Howard Genova was born on 2/22/1985. His mother was Jewish and his father was Italian(?). As with all good myths, Jason's past is shrouded in mystery. It's known that Jason attended High School, but did not receive his GED, a fact that is readily apparent after watching any of his content. Most of this period of the Pisslord's past is only spoken of in hushed tones and rumors, and there is no evidence of anything that is said about his life until...

My Storie

Jason Genova burst on to the scene in 2009 with his first youtube video video: My Storie Part 1. Sadly, the original upload has been lost to time, but here, we see a complete reupload of the historic document. Notice the numerous misspellings and other grammatical errors in the opening crawl alone, including his own name ^{more on that later.} This indicates that he most likely typed the crawl by himself. In the crawl, we also see him lift a not insubstantial amount of weight as the crawl proclaims his dream of becoming the world's number one body builder. It's obvious that this video was intended to document his journey to greatness as he fulfills his dream of becoming a bodybuilder.

We then see, for the first time captured on film, in his full glory, Jason Genova. He also immedietly proclaims his first of many nicknames, Jason Giovanni. It's unclear why he decided to use the alias here when in the beginning crawl he used his real, albeit misspelled, name. He also proclaims his hobby to be "sports" and claims that he even fought semi-pro in the UFC. Whether he truly did or not is clear. This also marks another one of Jason's quirks: he lies all the fucking time. The guy lies both to himself and to those around them constantly. This fact will also become clear as the videos go on. He then goes on to tell us about how he will become a pro bodybuilder, even going as far to claim that he will sacrifice his body to do it. He repeats multiple times how serious he is about his dream. I won't give a full rundown of the video, but it does a great job of capturing many of Jason's quirks. In the video, Jason poses multiple times to show where he started in his journey. And while he lifts a pretty impressive (by normal people standards) amount of weight, he looks like a potato. He obviously has muscle, but he is also obviously fat.

Jason released many of these videos, but the originals are sadly no longer with us. Many of these early ments are lost to the void, only preserved in the occasional clip and reuploads. From the clips and the reuploads, we can see that Jason often has quotes that are attributed to himself overlaid on footage of him lifting or doing weird things. These quotes, while meant to be vaguely inspirational, come off more as parodies of inspirational quotes. choice ones include : "this is my art the way i express myself", "to train fierce is what i do best", and "and nothing will stop you!!!!!". In the linked video, we see one of the first characters: Joey Joe. We also see his disdain for so-called haters. He also explains the reason for his chubbiness in the linked video. He claims first that he's not fat and that he will be jack at 170 while currently being 200 pounds, then explains that he's "30 pounds off season". He also explains the basics of a bulk/cut cycle, that his audience does not know science while he does, and finally that bodybuilders like to power-lift off season, that he is "a/bodybuilder power-lifter", and that there are very few bodybuilders who are also power-lifters.

In this video, we also see one of many of his callouts of other bodybuilders. In the early days, he was actually decently articulate and had a pro-wrestling style to his promos or callouts. He does this mainly for attention, and to grow his channel. Later this will become an even larger part of his personality and style, even as his language skills begin to deteriorate for reasons, some of which were his fault.

In this reupload of My Storie part 7, we see more of Jason's early antics. Quotes include "I am very intimidating, But I do not give up without a fight", "What you don't know, wont hurt you..", and "and what you do know you might regret later". Bizarrely, he also appears to work out in the back of a parking lot next to a dumpster with cinderblocks and pieces of wood just lying around while wearing a "No homo" bandanna. "No homo" is a phrase he uses a lot in the video. In the video itself, he apparently talks about an ex-girlfriend who cheated on him and claimed that he was slow. He rebuffs these claims, citing that he drives a motor vehicle, and therefor cannot be slow. He also poses in the parking lot with other characters.

Because most of these early videos are no longer available, I will go over some highlights:

Jason competes in a bodybuilding competition.

Notice both the speed (high) and skill (low) with which he completes his poses. This is a pattern that will continue going forward.

Jason goes to Target and McDonald's with one of his biggest "fans".

Great Ment. Here we see Jason go shopping for clothes in Target, pose for bewildered Target employees, and have a "cheat meal" at McDonalds. This video also shows the reason Jason will never become a successful bodybuilder. In the video, he talks about cutting to 175 and becoming cut and buff, but he later scarfs down fast food faster than humanly possible. This is a pattern we will see throughout the rest of his videos (if I ever do another one of these). Here, we also get a full shot of the "No homo" bandanna.

Jason's sicking Oatmeal burn.

One of the classic Ments. Here, we get our first look at some of Jason's daily life, and we get to experience his infamous cooking skills. We can see here that most of Jason's meals consist of protein powder, protein bars, other supplements, and whatever he can microwave, such as eggs and oatmeal. Things don't go as planned, however, when Jason burns his oatmeal in the microwave. This is a trend we will see later in his Chef Crackhead videos.

Jason's Post-Contest Interview.

One of the greatest Ments of all time. Jason competed in the Abz of Adonis bodybuilding competition and he was interviewed the day after. While he showed up with 16% body fat, he was able to finish second out of three people, one of whom had a torn bicep. Jason claims that he did not expect to face such stiff competition, and that he gave "110%". Andrew, the cameraman (who will play a huge role in the story later on), tells Jason that he should have prepared better and that he should have expected the strong competition, to which Jason replies with "Yeah but sometimes nobody shows up and you automatically win".

Big Richard threatens to tear Jason's throat out and dump his body in the Everglades.

Another classic Ment. Big Richard, the big swinging dick alpha of Jason's gym finds out that Jason has been flirting with his daughter on Facebook. Richard is displeased and gives Jason a stern talking to. Jason is visibly shaken afterwards, but not enough to not post for the camera. Jason avoids Richard for a while after this, but they make up and Richard promises to find Jason a girl that will suck his dick later. We see here one example of Jason's famously bad judgement. He does not learn his lesson, however, and continues to have bad judgement, even to this day.

Glossary

Now, I will finish off with a small glossary of terms present in the Genovaverse.

Pisstroopers: People who watch Jason's videos. Generally these are fans, but there are also trolls, haters, and others. They will generally listen to Jason when he calls an Order 66, but will also leave him in a mass unsubbing if he becomes too much of a piece of shit.

Genova's Wittnesses: Jason's diehard fans. They will defend Jason to the death. They come at Jason's beck and call, and will never leave Jason. They will respond to every Order 66 and are as loyal as dogs.

Coath: Coach. Jason will always mispronounce and misspell Coach.

Mellon: Million. Another misspelling.

Sickening: Jason's catchphrase. Compatible with sick. It means awesome, cool, or just generally good.

Pissening: Generally, the opposite of Sickening. Sometimes used in a positive way as well. First used when someone noticed that Jason had a large and very visible piss stain on his underwear in a picture he posted.

Revolting: The extreme version of Sickening. These three, along with insulting completes Jason's catchphrase: "It's sick, it's piss, it's revolting, it's insulting.

Skittles: Steroids. But not just steroids, but also testosterone boosting supplements. Jason considers all of these "Skittles".

Order 66: Jason will get his followers to go troll a target's social media, generally to bad effect. Named after the Order from Revenge of the Sith, a movie Jason quite enjoys by all accounts.

Finally: Ment. This can mean many things. EnjoyMENT, EntertainMENT, MoMENT, among others. Now used in wider fitness lexicon, the Ment was first created by Jason. His videos are full of them, and even the creation of the Ment is a Ment in and of itself. The term itself originated from a video in which Jason sees an Arnold Poster and tries to read the caption. While the caption said "Enjoyment", at this point in his life, because of factors both within and outside of Jason's control, Jason was completely incoherent most of the time and read it as "Enjoy the Ment." More accurately: "Journ - en - en-joy - the - m - the-me - the-me - the ment". The term stuck and is still used to this day.

I'll stop here for now because I'm fucking lazy and trying to complete this shit in one sitting would probably literally kill me. Also I want more karma.