r/Worldnews is divided on whether being a sperg is ackchyually a superpower. Local autismos cope hard.

78  2019-09-02 by Matues49

34 comments

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Think about it moids: why should ANY foid worth her salt choose a pathetic weak m*Le over a strong GVLDEN RETRIEVER? The GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't worry about silly things like "red flags" and "children" and "boob size" and "weight"; They see a tight, wet opening, they stick their dick in it, it feels good so they keep on going. They pound into your girlfriend with such force she is moaning, begging for more doggy cock. She is damn near pissing herself, but the GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't stop. His knot swells. Your girlfriend, mind blanked by orgasmic bliss, is bound to the GOLDEN BVLL for up to an hour while his Chad knot shrinks down, and her vaginal muscles milk every drop of GVLDEN RETRIEVER spunk. She will never look at you the same way again. Sex doesn't feel the same. She is "tired" most nights, yet you can hear the whimpering and moans from the bathroom when she takes Sparky in the bathroom to "take a shit with company". She tells you to go in the other room and "jerk it or something". You are ashamed. You are weak. You are crushed. But she will never love you again. Sparky plays with his chew toy.

Her stomach is swelling. That is strange, you think, as you two haven't had sex in about 4 months and you had just gotten a vasectomy, per r/childfree advice. She tells you it's hormones, but you see the worry in her eyes, the fear lying behind her nonchalant expression. Fucking Sparky, looks up at you and almost smiles. The fucking MUTT, having the nerve to smile at you. In a time like this? Why are you so fucking angry at this dog? What did he do?

5 more months has passed. The "bump" on her stomach is huge now. You worry it may be a freak-case tumor or something of the like, but you now are pretty sure she cheated on you at some point. With who? When? But most importantly, why? Sparky looks at you again, but this time, his face is blank. He shits on the floor.

It is now obvious she's in labor. She decided against going to the hospital, for reasons you were unsure of. Probably read a Reddit post on tub births or something. In any case, she is in pain, and you are doing as much as you can to help her birth the baby, even though you just know it isn't yours. That's okay though. When you find out who the father is you will kill them. How could he do this to your girlfriend? Why did she let him? Where is he? What is his race? Is his cock bigger tha-

The baby is born. Or, rather, 6 babies are born? They are... furry. And yellow. And their ears are quite large. Holy shit. The fucking dog. Sparky. They look just like him! Except, they have human characteristics. They are grotesque to look at, you are sick to your stomach. You want to scream, to cry, to beg her to kill them, but she doesn't. She isn't doing much of anything actually. Just staring at them, with cold, dead eyes. She holds two up to her swollen breasts. They suckle, and whimper. They are alive. Sparky shits on the floor.

Snapshots:

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Why is that even on a newssite? Who cares what that girl says? I thought she was important for climate change, not an expert in mental retardation.

A. its a PR stunt

B. Reddit upvotes shit they like not whats good news

C. News organizations care about whats popular and will generate revenue over whats important.

There is a fucking cult around that girl. Yes, the debate she started around climate change is impressive, but thats it. She isnt some mastermind who can magically solve all problems of humanity, she is a 17 year old girl. People acting like she has a 500iq are making me seethe.

Lol why are people acting like nobody was talking about climate change before this retard came along? She’s literally accomplished nothing. You think anyone who didn’t already care about climate change is going to have their mind changed by an autistic teenager?

I dont mean that she accomplished much for climate change, but she brought some more attention to it. Probably because the media massively overhyped her. And I know that she gets some boomers and older seething, which is funny.

My boomer mother is S E E T H I N G about that foid, so she's alright by me.

Yeah maybe try not being retarded because that's not really that eloquent.

I really liked that speech she gave where she said she didn't want us to feel hope

I felt that, fuck hope

Fear > hope

Obama can suck it

She's literally the face of the environmental movement. My city has graffiti murals of her all over, she's a big deal with a massive fan club.

Now the world has no choice but to take the movement super seriously, with such a wise and strong leader.

Extinction rebellion!

Bruh moment

I'm pretty sure next year we're gonna get a dozen cat 5's and the the ice sheet on the US state of Greenland is gonna slide right off and then we're still re-elect Trump and snort oil straight out of the ANWR without a second thought

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Her parents are using her as a PR project. This post talks all about it. She's basically the Taylor Swift of environmental politics.

What’s superhuman is leftoids’ ability to put a spotlight on a teenager and say that she should be taken seriously then with a straight face turn around and say that you can’t criticise her because she’s a child

If she was right-leaning, that quote would be on r/iamverysmart faster than you could say "lmao autists." Not even a rightoid, just saying

It's basically a quote from Kanye West:

You see? You see?
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
That's why I fuck with Ye!
See, that's my third per-
That's my bipolar shit, nigga, what?
That's my superpower, nigga, ain't no disability
I'm a superhero! I'm a superhero!
Agghhh!

If I spend most of my time stuttering and drooling over myself, am I actually a misunderstood genius?

Asperger's may not be a superpower, but don't tell my boy lawlz that. He might stop posting his stickies if he can't scream catchphrases from Ben 10 while pressing the submit button

You just made me think about a Lawlz wearing a Ben 10 watch that automatically posts a sticky when he presses it.

I make Sonic OCs. What's your superpower?

Extremely based individual proves her to be a fake.

Though honestly, I'd expect nothing more in the current world.

Man children whine “soooo? that doesn’t make her wRoNG!”. More news at 11

Like what right wing young person isn't just a front for an elderly billionaire lmao?

Who give a shit about any of those e-celebs? You are not wrong but any adult that worships Greta, Fuentes or even that Styx weirdo is an absolute tool.

LMAO this is what happens when you give autists the internet

So when are we introducing her to lawlz so they can breed and create the ultimate drama mod.

I need a '/s' to recognize obvious jokes because I have superpowers.

i FUCKING HATE these low-charisma SEObabies that get shilled by news sites. if you're going to plaster some idiots face everywhere and buy bot upvotes for them at least pick someone that's fun to watch

This feels a lot like people discrediting Rosa Parks because she was chosen by the civil rights movement. People will say anything to entrench their bigotry.

just kill me

This isn't real nobody actually don't actually like her because it makes me seethe

the mental gymnastics, the cope

Is not a superpower, it is a curse