Harry Potter is literally the most important book in human history.

188  2019-09-03 by BriefSquirt

87 comments

People with PCOS who are too fat to defend themselves or run away are fun to abuse. I like to take a spoon, heat it up until it's glowing hot, then place it on the skin while they're asleep. The reaction when they wake up after the 25th time of being burned by a redhot piece of metal is amazing. You can literally piecemeal their mental stability down to complete insanity, then leave them in their own homes helpless and alone. :DDDDDDDDDD

Snapshots:

  1. Harry Potter is literally the most ... - archive.org, archive.today

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>bluechecks

>wandshit

>cancel

>unfunny tumblr memes in a news title

The industrial revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

Based and thereal14wordspilled.

We were fine until Al Gore invented the series of tubes known as "teh interwebz"

my inclination to go into the woods and mailbomb retards increases every passing day

These days, you could probably just sell the bombs on Amazon. People would buy them knowing full well it'll kill them.

Nice 14 words.

Moving from nomadic hunter gatherer societies to an agrarian one was a mistake.

fire comment one love!

There’s never been a book - children’s or otherwise - that demonstrates and promotes good values more than #Harrypotter. Research has shown that reading #HarryPotter makes kids better people!

Jesus christ.

Jesus fucking Christ what the hell is this shit?? I am actually seething at this. We should have banned them all earlier.

As TwoX said best:

This statistic feels right to me.

Well there could be research for that sort of thing its just said research is usually a joke

Link to that? Lol

I wanna see this... 😂 Link?

Nothing teaches kids to be better people than legal date rape.

oh thats in HP somewhere?

Multiple times, lots of people get dosed with love potion. Ron once had the entire school trying to date rape him with love potion infused foods.

Have they not read the Quran?

What other book in history has connected people of all age groups by making them believe they are apart of a magical world? You shouldn't be so gryffindor.

Harry potter as a modern day religion. Discuss.

Humans need religion. As traditional ones started to disappear in the west people filled the void with capeshit and wandshit

Because most humans are too dumb to create their own values.

All fiction is essentially juvenile

This but unironically. Try telling a normie there is nothing inherently wrong with rape, and you will see how well it goes.

That's because you weren't talking in a libertarian or Indian community.

We were talking about humans tho 🤔

its a religion for people who don't like any kind of demands; its just fuzzy feel-goodness without any kind of meaningful moral compunctions

Already done and gone, capeshit is the new zoomer religion

Makes more sense than the Bible tbf

Aren't Gryffindor the mary sue good guys though?

Harry potter is like the mary sue of mary sues. He knows jack shit about the magic world and within a few months he is thwarting the super powerful baddie's plan.

Also he looks like a girl.

Oh right sorry, never read the books because I'm retarded

Fuck The Bible, Torah, Koran, Leviathan, Canterbury Tales, Moby Dick, Oliver Twist, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, The Vedas, The Romance of the Three Kingdoms, 1984, Catch 22, Alice in Wonderland, The Lord of the Rings, The Wealth of Nations, Capital, Green Eggs and Ham, Don Quixote, Where the Wild Things Are, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Republic, The Aeneid and DOS for Dummies, Harry Potter is objectively the book series that has done more to promote moral behavior than any other piece of literature in human history.

based leaving out Faust and Grimms

Those are the only books youve read? Oh excuse me - heard of

I've also read The Color Purple, Fanny Hill, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Lustful Turk and the Guinness Book of World records 2009.

Guinness Book of World records 2009.

Aren't the only people who read world records books unironically autists?

[removed]

N-slur looks like voldiemort

I thought he is reminiscent of a young Stefan Molyneux. Or maybe the next secret of Harry Potter that Rowling will reveal is that Voldemort = Tom Riddle = Stefan Molyneux

I was thinking more along the lines of Agent 47. Bugman 47 maybe?

I will vote for anyone who promises to ban Harry Potter books

I promise to ban Harry Potter and Capeshit.

gotta make compromises, centrists know that they never get everything they want

aaaaaa eeeeee ddddd

Read. Another. Book.

literally anything

But adult literature is haaaard!

Bring back book burning tbh

The Alt-right need to take over Harry Potter. And we need to help them.

Even the alt right hate wandshit

Muggles are a metaphor for minorities and HP promotes how we should keep them out of society to progressm

Defense Against the Dark Arts? Obvious dog whistle

Now that's woke 😉

He-who-shall-not-be-named did nothing wrong 😎

"Checks notes" is the most annoying thing ever. It adds nothing to the conversation and makes you look mentally handicapped. That aside, this tweet is blasphemy because obviously the Qur'an is what our children should be reading. Harry Potter only encourages them to become homosexuals, or even worse, die alone with no children because you built your entire life around a childrens' book.

RANT

Harry Potter book release: don't worry, no spoilers.

Showed up at seven, in full costume for a nine am release. Devoted no? I was one of the few to dress up, and I was the best-dressed. I'm not being vain, I honestly had the most detailed and accurate costume there.

We were told in line, that the best-dressed person in line gets to open the box and have the first Half-Blood Prince book. So, I'm a shoo-in, aren't I?

WRONG.

Fucking moo brings her bratty sprog in at 8:59am dressed in a generic Kmart cape with stars and glitter and fucking gaudy BLAH. Twig for a wand.

OMG WITTLE PWESHUS SO CUTE OMG YOU CAN OPEN THE BOX AND HAVE THIS BOOK YOU CAN'T READ AND fawning fawning, blatant breederism etc

THE FUCKING KID WON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS. THE BOX OPENING WAS MINE. MIIIIINE.

I wouldn't have minded if someone had said "Oh look Sass, you are best-dressed

but would you mind if this land-mine amputee opened the box instead?" I would

have said "Absolutely no problem. Go for it." But no. FUCKING CROTCHDROPPING

GETS THE HONOUR. I'm furious. On principle of course, not out of any sense of entitlement. Well yes, entitlement also. But I WORKED FOR IT, I DESERVED IT.

I made an effort. I spent money making an effort. I showed up early. I will remember and treasure this event for ever and eternity. And I'm passed over for an ugly little brat with a sparkly tie. Woo fucking woo.

I didn't stab her in the eye with my wand. I WANTED to. I talked about doing so

VERY FUCKING LOUDLY. I was going to eviscerate her mother with the cover of my

brand-new copy.

I fucking hate breeders and child-lovers. FUCKING GO TO HELL.

I'm so pissed about this, sorry. It's just that in ten years time, this kid won't remember what she was doing on July 16th 2005. In ten years time, I will be remembering how I was deprived of this nerdly honor by an opportunistic twat breeder and her shitling. I'm hurt. All my life, nothing has gotten to me more than being deliberately ignored, or passed over. Honestly; that's the sort of thing that can make me cry in public. Or key your car. Or viciously murder you and your family in the heat of frustration and never-ending denial

Congratulations breeders, you win.

Edited to add: To all of you who are calling me immature etc, I'd like to add that you make a very good point, but have you considered GO FUCK YOURSELF? If you're so anal-retentive, go back to the other community and go on with your breeder-humping. Also, to the person who submitted this to fandom_wank, I seriously (no sarcasm) thank you. I've always wanted to be there!

I don't know what you said, because I've seen another human naked.

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Can you just tell me if this is worth reading so I don't waste my time?

It's a longpost on rdrama so it's probably not.

have been demonstrated to reduce prejudice

Doubt.

The Harry Potter books inspired my son who has Autism to write. They also helped him to want to read and improved his reading skills

Severe doubt.

The Harry Potter books inspired my son who has Autism to write

MasterLawlz?

The same people keep telling us that there's more prejudice in the world now than ever before. 🤔

Those books were shit when I was 7 they’re still shit today.

reminder r/ZweiRama is the superior drama sub

Reported.

I'm sure all 5 of you on /r/Zweirama agree

we can ping there, cope harder incel

eat my farts

Christcucks were right when they said Harry Potter was demonic.

Expelliarmus!

The right wing death squads will be burning these hopefully.

I'd never ban it, but Harry Potter is pretty evil. Sooo many things push witchcraft these days, while forgetting it's a total sin in most religious peoples eyes.

It's a fantasy book

A fantasy book that makes witchcraft, which is completely real, look cool.

Except it's made-up and exaggerated witchcraft in a made-up world. Even if witchcraft is real they don't have fucking wands that they point and say "oogy bargus" or whatever

How can this be allowed in current year

Rowling's pr team probably pays to have the books banned every time sales dip.

Man ladies love that crap. I can only communicate with them through harry potter memes. Also, where were these book lovers when amazon banned uncle Jared??

This makes me want to k*ll myself

But he didn't say anything when Captain underpants got banned...