The 9/11 Vore Conspiracy argues that the twin towers were not hit by planes externally. Instead, planes were built inside the towers, and continually inflated which eventually caused a collapse.
The anonymous theorist, reviewing footage of the 9/11 attack, stops the footage numerous times to point out "weak zones" of the town that gave in as a response to the increasing weight of the internal aircraft.
He highlights areas in the footage that portray people and objects being violently thrown out of the windows with force, as well as small billows of steam and fire, happening at the lower floor levels of one of the towers.
"Look at this shit. You're telling me there's just random ass explosions going on? Down here? We ain't even remotely close to where the plane collided. Bull fucking horse shit.'
The theorist explains that the planes were built by "crazed U.S. government scientists who watched too much Doctor Who, it was like that of a real life TARDIS experiment".
"They built these massive towers, for what? Business? Hell nah, have you seen the economy pre-9/11? It was shit. We didn't have the money nor energy for no goddamn tower of that size, and definitely not two."
We asked why the experiment would take place in the middle of a city as crowded as NYC. The theorist responded:
"It's hidden in plain sight. NYC's got all the resources in the world, right at your disposal. Nah, seriously man, look at these streets, there's a fuckin' garbage pile up just down the road. You know what kind of technology you can find in these piles? There's some fuckin' money to be made. Plus you get to make a nationwide scare if your experiment fucks up, and publicity means more money. They had all to gain and nothing to lose."
The theorist explains that any and all footage taken inside the Twin Towers pre-9/11 was simply simulated, props, or illusion. Footage of NYC recorded in a position respective to which the twin towers overlooked, was created via a clever series of mirrors originally sourcing from the "432 Park Avenue" building.
The theorist claims that any and all footage of the planes are "so fake, it's laughable", he states: "Nobody saw any planes... not in real life. Outside of what the TV stations would tell you, not a single soul saw an actual, physical plane hit the buildings. Hell, you could ask everyone in New York today, you won't find a single person who saw a plane."
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Would pedophilia even feel as good to pedophiles if it were legal? They ought to ask themselves this question before dumping so much into its legalization. Half the fun in this stuff, is precisely its forbidden nature.
But did homosexuality ever feel as good after dipping your wick in some mud didn’t carry a death sentence? I think not. Similarly Iranian homos are living the life imo.
23 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2019-09-04
The 9/11 Vore Conspiracy argues that the twin towers were not hit by planes externally. Instead, planes were built inside the towers, and continually inflated which eventually caused a collapse.
The anonymous theorist, reviewing footage of the 9/11 attack, stops the footage numerous times to point out "weak zones" of the town that gave in as a response to the increasing weight of the internal aircraft.
He highlights areas in the footage that portray people and objects being violently thrown out of the windows with force, as well as small billows of steam and fire, happening at the lower floor levels of one of the towers.
"Look at this shit. You're telling me there's just random ass explosions going on? Down here? We ain't even remotely close to where the plane collided. Bull fucking horse shit.'
The theorist explains that the planes were built by "crazed U.S. government scientists who watched too much Doctor Who, it was like that of a real life TARDIS experiment".
"They built these massive towers, for what? Business? Hell nah, have you seen the economy pre-9/11? It was shit. We didn't have the money nor energy for no goddamn tower of that size, and definitely not two."
We asked why the experiment would take place in the middle of a city as crowded as NYC. The theorist responded:
"It's hidden in plain sight. NYC's got all the resources in the world, right at your disposal. Nah, seriously man, look at these streets, there's a fuckin' garbage pile up just down the road. You know what kind of technology you can find in these piles? There's some fuckin' money to be made. Plus you get to make a nationwide scare if your experiment fucks up, and publicity means more money. They had all to gain and nothing to lose."
The theorist explains that any and all footage taken inside the Twin Towers pre-9/11 was simply simulated, props, or illusion. Footage of NYC recorded in a position respective to which the twin towers overlooked, was created via a clever series of mirrors originally sourcing from the "432 Park Avenue" building.
The theorist claims that any and all footage of the planes are "so fake, it's laughable", he states: "Nobody saw any planes... not in real life. Outside of what the TV stations would tell you, not a single soul saw an actual, physical plane hit the buildings. Hell, you could ask everyone in New York today, you won't find a single person who saw a plane."
Snapshots:
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1 FChoL 2019-09-04
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
1 LongPostBot 2019-09-04
Good job bobby, here's a star
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 cptnhaddock 2019-09-04
🥴
1 Black_Bird_Cloud 2019-09-04
it's different from most pastas considering it's originally from the new yorker but damn if it isn't well cooked, I'm reading shit like :
and I feel like shouting "but neither is a central bank you mongaaahahshapf h
1 doctorvanderbeast 2019-09-04
Epic. Thank you. Let me know when the rest of the novel is released.
1 FChoL 2019-09-04
It's a copypasta from the new yorker, so sadly I doubt there's gonna be a continuation.
1 doctorvanderbeast 2019-09-04
God dammit
1 Frostfright 2019-09-04
This is brilliant. Had to stifle my giggles at work.
1 ruhend 2019-09-04
I thought this was the original "edition" of the memeball
1 2Manadeal2btw 2019-09-04
I made this myself.
1 ruhend 2019-09-04
I thought memeball started with ancaps, so to point it out as a special edition implies that it started elsewhere
1 JustHereToPostandCom 2019-09-04
Happy cake day!
1 2Manadeal2btw 2019-09-04
Obligatory self shill for r/memeballs
1 i_Chapo-d_my_pants 2019-09-04
you only lasted two days before failing your mission statement 😒
1 watermark1917 2019-09-04
Would pedophilia even feel as good to pedophiles if it were legal? They ought to ask themselves this question before dumping so much into its legalization. Half the fun in this stuff, is precisely its forbidden nature.
1 NumerousEvent 2019-09-04
That explains how homosexuality was eliminated with the repeal of sodomy legislation.
1 watermark1917 2019-09-04
But did homosexuality ever feel as good after dipping your wick in some mud didn’t carry a death sentence? I think not. Similarly Iranian homos are living the life imo.
1 ThousandQueerReich 2019-09-04
They'd move on to fetii.
1 ReadySetCrusade 2019-09-04
I feel like I inspired this
1 FODS_ARE_MAGS 2019-09-04
Why yes, I am a Libertarian, how could you tell?
1 watermark1917 2019-09-04
Daily reminder that Obama used to read every David Brooks column
1 Bootyratchik 2019-09-04
i am an ancap and honestly not too sure about pedophilia. i feel like its up to the parents to decide