This is why we need mayocide.

Outlines:

1. This Post - Outline

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Bernie is a jew

Being a racist loser that makes fun of racist losers doesn't make you any less of a racist loser.

Pretending you're too stupid to understand how you spend your free time doesn't make it any less pathetic to spend your free time that way.

Snapshots:

1. Old man almost dies - archive.org, archive.today

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(((Clinton))) suicide gone wrong

nah he just felt the bern in his arteries

Hasn't been Bern-ing that old man fat.

I guess Elizabeth Warren's heart attack dances finally paid off.

How do you suicide off a heart attack

Generally uppers will do the trick

Imagine not knowing the CIA literally has a heart attack gun.

I wish I was as naive and innocent as you.

The CIA can'r even get trump impeached properly. What makes you think any of them have the balls to check the heart attack gun AND the ammo out of the storage room?

Imagine thinking this Trump charade is real and not just an act to distract from the elite global pedo network almost being taken down with the capture of Epstein.

He got suicided so they needed a headline to distract them long enough to forget in a months time.

everyone besides incels on twitter already forgot about epstein before ukraine

The CIA would have long ago used a heart attack gun against the hamberder-in-chief if they had one.

trump exposed himself to fast food to build immunity to the cia heart attack gun like people do with snake venom

Truly, he is Mithridates reborn.

Surprisingly easy to induce a heart attack if you have the proper drugs

You joke but...

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/dcein3/the_last_thing_bernie_saw_before_his_heart_attack/

Betting markets putting Hillary as having a higher chance of winning than sanders.

I can’t wait for her to jump into the race at like the last minute and clinch the nomination

To be honest, Clinton winning in 2020 would skyrocket dramacoin.

The best possible outcome for dramacoin would be her taking the nomination and then losing harder than in 2016. That's what happened the last two times Democrats tried an election re-match and I think DNC staffers might start jumping off buildings if it happened again.

Imagine clinton losing AGAIN.

At this point suicide wouldn't be an option, it would be a necessity.

That would be insanely funny!

Bah gawd, that's Hillary Clinton's music!

You can't lose if you suicide all of your opponents.

Not even joking, I think the odds are more likely that Michelle Obama or Oprah try pulling that.

she can't though. unless she says fuck the primary.

you seen all the publicity shit shes doing now lol i genuinely wouldnt be surprised

Why is surfer mommy so low :(

Because military isolationists will get barbelled by the party establishment before they're allowed to be the nominee, and the gamblers know it.

too much money at stake in that whole war business to let someone fuck it all up, no matter how sexy and fit she is

Because no one likes her

I like her but my portfolio doesnt

the portfolio in my boxers loves her

Betting markets are pretty stupid though.

I'm just waiting for Bernie to cancel his campaign or die, while Hillary Clinton announces the news live, and says Bernie's last wishes were for her to run again

Sandersforpresident is coping extremely hard

https://www.reddit.com/r/SandersForPresident/comments/dcb7l6/megathread_bernie_sanders_recovering_in_good/

They really think he's going to return to campaigning in like a week even though he's 78 and had a fucking heart attack

He’s gotta take a week or two off at least. Plus he’s 78 so maybe longer. Plus take it easy after that. It’s over for Bernie.

at least we'll know that Bernie isn't one of the politicians consuming children's pineal glands to live for 300 years

I thought stupidpol was yanggang!?

I think some of them are YangGang for the meme but more are BernieBros

While Bernie's resting up, let's show him that we have his back.

Make a contribution to Bernie's grassroots campaign

Find a volunteer opportunity near you

Subscribe to r/SandersForPresident to stay up to date with Bernie's campaign

Get well soon, Bernie!

Peak delusion

Hey, come on, maybe this is gonna be one of those times where a 78-year old guy has open heart surgery and bounces right back from it. It happens! 😂

That is some pure distilled cope there.

I don't think he'll need more than a good week to recover considering stents are normally inserted via catheter instead of requiring a surgery.

Kek. Yeah, let's just ignore age altogether, and then pretend real life is like a campaign trail of flying to different cities, debating, preparing mentally, working probably more than 12 hour days with social and media engagements, working on campaign strategy, and so on.

Yeah, completely comparable to a rando dude on Reddit.

It will happen to all swine eaters

I don’t think he eats swine on account of being one of (((them)))?

He does

Oh no

Poor Bernie cucked by a couple of black foids last election now his own heart

😡

Holy fuck, Biden is really gonna win and get crushed by Trump isn't he?

that's what it looks like yeah

What. From my perspective Biden is the only current dem candidate who could beat trump. The rest are way to leftist and Biden’s gaffes are offset by trumps spergouts. But idk how this whole Ukraine thing factors in.

I think Biden is exactly like hilldawg in the sense that he won't inspire any fence-sitters. the types of people who are gonna' go vote for libs no matter who gets the nom will obviously show up for him, but blacks and gays ain't leaving the office to go stand in line and vote for uncle joe.

just my .02 I could very well be wrong but we shall see

I would like to think a lot of moderates would hold their nose and give us 4 more years of retarded spergouts when presented with a super woke, Medicare for all, open borders, replace meat with maggots, green new deal candidate as the alternative.

I mean yeah that's certainly possible. who knows. if 2016 taught us anything it's that no one can predict this shit, no matter what that sniveling little cunt nate silver claimes

I mean Silver was pretty much the only major pollster or talking head to even lay out Trumps path to victory as a possibility, and had him at like 33% change instead of Fox who spent a month running their planned attacks on President Clinton before realizing Trump won.

Yeah Silver got it pretty spot on. Still an annoying dude but less retarded than most pundits

exactly, people seem to forget we had this shit happen with Nixon and Reagan's reelection. the spergs get control of the DNC and cause a lot of stupid policies to happen and then the GOP wins 49 out of 50 states. the difference is that back in 1984 6 out of every 7 people of voting age were mayo. now that the US is half mayo they might actually win on a eat maggot platform. asians already eat bugs

eat bugs meme

jesus being told "eat less burgers you greedy fucks" really struck a cord with burgerstanis

Fuck off kiwi, don’t you have a sheep to fuck?

eat less bagels you greedy fuck

but blacks and gays ain't leaving the office to go stand in line and vote for uncle joe.

Black might because of obama, tho.

the fact that you think this makes me assume you don't actually know any blacks

Of course I don't, I try to shy away from non (((mayo))).

That's certainly what Joe is banking on but I doubt it'll work out like that. Hillary touted her association with the Obama administration nonstop as well and they sure as hell didn't turn out for her.

The only person who ever got a higher share of the black vote than mommy was Obama. LGBT voters also loved her.

It was union types and progressives that couldn't stand her.

Thanks for the analysis Mr carville.

CAJUN STYLE!

i do love how the democrats won on the backs of alabama arkansas and louisiana poltical analysts. it was like a confederate wet dream

warren pulls in women and lgbt+lmnop voters. she's on the same level as creepy uncle joe

I hope Indians rise up and ruin her chances

lol Hillary 2.0.

Nobody wants career politicians with lukewarm views.

Naw, Trump just needs to bring Hunter Biden's Chinese investments up and it's game over. That is the Republicans' ace in the hole. The Ukraine thing is just the first salvos.

Biden can't beat Trump.

Yeah, maybe in 2016 when people were still feeling the Obama warmth and had temporarily forgotten all the stupid shit Biden has said and done over the years.

Plus back then Biden could actually string a sentence together and wasn't exhibiting classic dementia symptoms.

Biden has been exhibiting dementia symptoms since he was on the campaign trail with Obama the first time. There is a reason he was seen less during Obama's second term and he didn't run in 2016.

He probably could if the economy goes into the shitter.

I really hope the Ukraine thing takes them both out of the race.

People stay home if Biden wins nomination. Bernie gets people to show up in the key states that voted for Obama but went to trump because of Hilary having baggage and not representing their interests.

Bernie loses people who pay taxes though.

And also a lot of people in the party detest him for 2016, even though he bent over for Hillary after losing like a reed in the wind.

I think if it was Biden. Then voters would stay home and republicans will sweep local, state, and federal elections.

If you've been watching the debates you've surely noticed that Biden is legit senile. He called another candidate the president. Spoke about his wife like she was still alive, and has just made so many incorrect comments that he will be torn to pieces in a debate.

if you’ve been watching the debates.

Lmao

He called another candidate the president.

the black one. no one can tell those people apart, give him some slack

I'm pretty disappointed you can't see yang is the only other dem candidate that can flip rust belt 2016 Trump voters, as an added boot he isn't sundowning during debates or exhibiting signs of dementia

Yang is a joke.

Ah yeah, more of a joke than old man about to die, other old man going through dementia, Pocahontas, and the rest of the podium finishers of the woke Olympics

People Zoomers and neets shitting on you not realizing that boomers vote with their 401k in mind.

people felt Trump was dogshit and Jeb would win in the end 4 years ago. plus Sanders old man almost death means more people will be focused on Biden's old age.

Jeb! Was the only candidate

I couldn't think of any better drama-inducing outcome.

I think it'll be Pocahontas that'll be crushed by Blormph.

Blormph

Good one brother

He'll never recover from that. 😎

Shouldn't one of you be Remus? 🤔🤔

I think Warren has a better chance than Clinton but it would still be close.

Warren isn't even as likeable has Hillary, it's pretty sad.

Warren is everyone’s 9th grade teacher that failed your term paper for not using the correct margin size

Nah, it's gonna be Lizzy. Between his crackhead son's Ukraine retardation and his own inability to string a coherent sentence together Biden isn't gonna be able to keep up the momentum.

Well, that and his status as a frontrunner is entirely based on the fact that something like 33% of likely primary voters admit to having watched or read about a single debate so far this cycle.

Most actual voters probably turned off the debates ghr second the Mexican started speaking in tongues for 10 minutes. Those that fingered themselvs to it will be busy playing fortnight

It's vastly more likely that the fact we're more than a year out from the election and ~6 months out from Super Tuesday means people who aren't extremely online politicos haven't thought about paying attention yet.

Wait, who’s the Mexican?

Liz isn't great for drama but this country is probably due drama detox before we OD.

You might want to check /r/Rule_34

Poor Bernie cucked by a couple of black foids last election now his own heart

OP

same tbh

I literally lol'd after reading the title and clicking the link.

Too many twitch baseball streams lmao

He’ll fucking die before the election if he goes back to campaigning at all. A heart attack at 78? He’s lucky to be alive

How could any of his fanboys still think he’s fit to be president? He wouldn’t survive his term.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer socialist.

F’s in chat. Fast forward to 2020 “How old is 73 really?”

He will be 79 next year lmao

Daddy will be 74 next year. They're only 5 years apart but Bernie looks way older due to his crazy old man hair.

And you know, the whole having a heart attack thing.

My whole thing is we’re currently at 73, 76, and 78 for possibilities arguing who has the most vitality when the centrist take is all sides have that old man smell.

Also not saying he’ll bounce back from that because after they got Hillary with the fainting video welp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bernie will run at a spry 84 years old tbh

If you throw in Warren, she's also 70. The top 4 candidates are all septuagenarians and instead of pushing for younger candidates everyone is just fighting over which geriatric they think is less close to death/dementia.

But what does Warren smell like?

anxiety and werthers originals

Also because A N G E R Y

Trump has been rich (and a democrat) most of his life though, he got that child sacrifices blood running through his veins like Dick Clark had.

Feel the heartbern

What socialized health plan is the ol commie using for recovery?

He is one of three septuagenarians in the Democratic primary, and the oldest. Former Vice President Joe Biden is 76. Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren is 70.

Absolute sui-fuel for burgers

Burgers on reddit all screech about how much they hate boomers, yet the top 4 candidates (Bernie, Biden, Daddy, Warren) are all 70+ 😂😂😂

Killary gets another one

If I'm Buttigreg I show up holding my birth certificate and start proclaiming the trio of Biden, Warren, and Bernie are going to die at any moment from being olds.

Man, Killary really holds on to grudges. Kudos to Bernie for using his (((wiles))) to escape.

i mean he is heaps old and also red in the face like 90% of the time hes getting into something so its not entirely surprising