Honestly this is just sad at this point. Let the rightoids have one sub where they can use all and any slurs and end it at that. Well call it the pigpen. A haven where you can get down and dirty with retarded memes and crime statistics.
It's an intentional stepping stone to "it actually didn't happen at all but I sure wish it did" by planting the seed of doubt to begin with in their smoothed-out brains. Óvò
I once actually argued with a nazi, it went from "it didn't happen" to "numbers were inflated" to "they were only criminals" to "it was only jews" to "it was accidential" and a looot of stuff between those.
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that I’m a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then it’s time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you – yes, specifically you – is obviously my first priority… but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything that’s even tangentially related to what they’ve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the site’s executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I don’t actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parents’ basement would mean that I wouldn’t get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures – using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue – of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once I’ve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual users’ days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if I’m going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat – which is a trilby, of course – and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
It’s time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. She’ll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Don’t ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because I’ll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, I’ve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters haven’t told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, they’re only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything – especially if it’s entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier – I’ll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, it’s the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You don’t need to read this, because you’ve already decided that you know it all.
My HVAC FR3N unit seems to have come preloaded with non-removable AUT-15M firmware. It keeps freezing up and shitposting about shrews on Reddit. I was considering relocating it to a site where it would be happier, but now I'm thinking that it would be more humane to just put a couple of .40 S&Ws into its evaporator coil.
38 comments
1 AutoModerator 2019-10-21
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9 Kat_B0T 2019-10-21
Tbf those units are notoriously bad, but that’s why they cost so little. I’m highly doubting the six million figure.
2 tHeSiD 2019-10-21
I mean, was the production even capable of 6M units? The factories were small and sparse.
2 Kat_B0T 2019-10-21
I’m assuming they exaggerated
5 ImJustaBagofHammers 2019-10-21
The rightoids still think their humor is clever and subtle?
6 big_papa_stiffy 2019-10-21
its not supposed to be subtle you spaz its supposed to annoy you
6 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-10-21
Acting schizo to own the libs.
Honestly this is just sad at this point. Let the rightoids have one sub where they can use all and any slurs and end it at that. Well call it the pigpen. A haven where you can get down and dirty with retarded memes and crime statistics.
1 IonicPaul 2019-10-21
Isn't that just Voat
-2 big_papa_stiffy 2019-10-21
its shitposting just below the "get banned" line but also enough to make ahs users rage until it gets shut down
its funny
lol nah i like talking utter shit everywhere to make defaults worse when they add dumb rules and ban random people
1 chimpan_z 2019-10-21
are you a fan of njf
1 big_papa_stiffy 2019-10-21
i dont know what that stands for
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-10-21
Then it's not below the get banned line if it gets shut down, retard. Its literally haha kikes and niggers are bad jokes in leet speak.
In a sad way, really
1 big_papa_stiffy 2019-10-21
yeah its racist but its hardly hostile or anything its just dumb stereotype jokes written out differently
the entire point is to get people like ahs raging and pointing to the most boring examples possible so everyone sees how dumb they are
lol yeah it is they just make exceptions when theres too much bitching
normally its fine
1 Giulio-Cesare 2019-10-21
It's supposed to be over the top to make AHS seethe.
4 Matues49 2019-10-21
2 throwaway_999912 2019-10-21
They're just pretending to be nazis to troll AHS 😉👍😎👍😉
5 Matues49 2019-10-21
Rightoid schizohumor
4 HyperIceCube 2019-10-21
Only 200,000? That total chnages everything about nazis!!!!
How is this even argument these far right losers use to defend the virgin windmill belief
5 KaaraRaven 2019-10-21
It's an intentional stepping stone to "it actually didn't happen at all but I sure wish it did" by planting the seed of doubt to begin with in their smoothed-out brains. Óvò
2 Platycel 2019-10-21
I once actually argued with a nazi, it went from "it didn't happen" to "numbers were inflated" to "they were only criminals" to "it was only jews" to "it was accidential" and a looot of stuff between those.
1 AgitatedFudge 2019-10-21
irl or on reddit? if reddit can u link thank u
1 Platycel 2019-10-21
Discord.
1 Kat_B0T 2019-10-21
butt the communistsss killed sixty gorrilian!!!!!!
1 watermark1917 2019-10-21
It means they've got you arguing technicalities about the amount rather than whether it was right or wrong.
1 simplicity3000 2019-10-21
Makes a big enough difference that in half of Europe you go to prison for claiming the number is any lower than 6M.
3 hi_0 2019-10-21
Looks like they got banned
2 SnapshillBot 2019-10-21
Damn, you know what?
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that I’m a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then it’s time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you – yes, specifically you – is obviously my first priority… but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything that’s even tangentially related to what they’ve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the site’s executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I don’t actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parents’ basement would mean that I wouldn’t get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures – using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue – of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once I’ve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual users’ days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if I’m going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat – which is a trilby, of course – and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
It’s time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. She’ll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Don’t ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because I’ll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, I’ve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters haven’t told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, they’re only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything – especially if it’s entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier – I’ll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, it’s the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You don’t need to read this, because you’ve already decided that you know it all.
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
0 seenten 2019-10-21
Holy shit
1 Rentokill_boy 2019-10-21
what is it with tedious rightoids and involved online roleplaying
1 Platycel 2019-10-21
It's the Ok sign once again, just with air conditioners.
Either that, or they are retarded.
2 Maclife 2019-10-21
Why not both 🤪👌
1 TrailerParkRide 2019-10-21
🌬️👌🌬️👌🌬️👌
1 TrailerParkRide 2019-10-21
My HVAC FR3N unit seems to have come preloaded with non-removable AUT-15M firmware. It keeps freezing up and shitposting about shrews on Reddit. I was considering relocating it to a site where it would be happier, but now I'm thinking that it would be more humane to just put a couple of .40 S&Ws into its evaporator coil.
1 errderper 2019-10-21
they also talk about the 6 million Jews who died in the ballocaust but not the other 5 million pols/political prisoners/gays who also died 🤔🤔🤔
1 SWIMsfriend 2019-10-21
They mean drama wont let people have fun
1 Michelanvalo 2019-10-21
Nothing now cuz THEY GONE
1 DefectiveDelfin 2019-10-21
BRO I swear im only doing it to own the libs bro, im not actually retarded bro