Think about it moids: why should ANY foid worth her salt choose a pathetic weak m*Le over a strong GVLDEN RETRIEVER? The GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't worry about silly things like "red flags" and "children" and "boob size" and "weight"; They see a tight, wet opening, they stick their dick in it, it feels good so they keep on going. They pound into your girlfriend with such force she is moaning, begging for more doggy cock. She is damn near pissing herself, but the GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't stop. His knot swells. Your girlfriend, mind blanked by orgasmic bliss, is bound to the GOLDEN BVLL for up to an hour while his Chad knot shrinks down, and her vaginal muscles milk every drop of GVLDEN RETRIEVER spunk. She will never look at you the same way again. Sex doesn't feel the same. She is "tired" most nights, yet you can hear the whimpering and moans from the bathroom when she takes Sparky in the bathroom to "take a shit with company". She tells you to go in the other room and "jerk it or something". You are ashamed. You are weak. You are crushed. But she will never love you again. Sparky plays with his chew toy.

Her stomach is swelling. That is strange, you think, as you two haven't had sex in about 4 months and you had just gotten a vasectomy, per r/childfree advice. She tells you it's hormones, but you see the worry in her eyes, the fear lying behind her nonchalant expression. Fucking Sparky, looks up at you and almost smiles. The fucking MUTT, having the nerve to smile at you. In a time like this? Why are you so fucking angry at this dog? What did he do?

5 more months has passed. The "bump" on her stomach is huge now. You worry it may be a freak-case tumor or something of the like, but you now are pretty sure she cheated on you at some point. With who? When? But most importantly, why? Sparky looks at you again, but this time, his face is blank. He shits on the floor.

It is now obvious she's in labor. She decided against going to the hospital, for reasons you were unsure of. Probably read a Reddit post on tub births or something. In any case, she is in pain, and you are doing as much as you can to help her birth the baby, even though you just know it isn't yours. That's okay though. When you find out who the father is you will kill them. How could he do this to your girlfriend? Why did she let him? Where is he? What is his race? Is his cock bigger tha-

The baby is born. Or, rather, 6 babies are born? They are... furry. And yellow. And their ears are quite large. Holy shit. The fucking dog. Sparky. They look just like him! Except, they have human characteristics. They are grotesque to look at, you are sick to your stomach. You want to scream, to cry, to beg her to kill them, but she doesn't. She isn't doing much of anything actually. Just staring at them, with cold, dead eyes. She holds two up to her swollen breasts. They suckle, and whimper. They are alive. Sparky shits on the floor.

Snapshots:

1. Foid asks r/GirlGamers "should I br... - archive.org, archive.today

I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

Snappy is undefeated

wtf whats a foid doing on that sub

wtf whats a foid doing on that sub the internet

FTFY

[removed]

league player

insults you

Did she expect anything from that gamer

Yikes, drop him. Huge red flags there.

[removed]

Someone should do a post length to first Yikes analysis

Lol'd at this. Like it's subtle behaviours and not the fact that OPs boyfriend is an insane retarded person

YES

Pls drop him red flags, he sounds toxic and misogynistic date me instead a real gentleman gamer man pls pls 🤤🙇‍♂️

This is the lesson for incels - you know the kind of chubby retarded manchild g*mer who rants and raves at those close to him when he dies in a video game (that he honestly sounds pretty bad at)?

Even he's getting tail lol

Retarded girls don't count

Well, they do, but only as 3/5ths.

They're retarded, not black.

That guy unironically sounds like an autist

"yikes" "red flags" Reddit is a parody.

Imagine trying to carry women into plat

zoz

zle

zozzle

I honestly don't remember if he said 'sorry' or anything but he was nice for a while, but after one hour or something he started calling me retarded again. He kept basically screaming that, then he repeatedly asked me 'Are you a retard?? Are you??? Answer me!!!', I felt like he wanted me to say yes so I said 'yes', then he said 'well I'm not playing with retards, so if you are one, get out'.

Hilariously based

The proper etiquette is to start insulting him back even harder. Or even better, play a game that isn't a shitty MOBA.

Wait till you have sex and then whisper in his ear " you suck at holding a solo lane faggot boi" fairly certain he would either love it or hulk smash her head into a wall either way issue solved.

you suck at holding a solo lane faggot boi"

Is this even English? Why do you know so much about gaymer shit? Never mind, you might infect me with your nerd poison.

Anally Injected Nerd Poison is what I'm gonna call my new synthwave album.

i literally copied the same text so i could post it in the rdrama comments

came here to say this 🙄

Future school shooter

Ok which user here is this

user here

They said they were in a relationship

mod him

'Are you a retard?? Are you??? Answer me!!!', I felt like he wanted me to say yes so I said 'yes', then he said 'well I'm not playing with retards, so if you are one, get out'.

unfathomably based

Giga chad

Epic swag.

That's gamer for nice.

I would watch a sitcom episode based on this plot. 10/10 comedy.

I unironically agree, g*mers are unfuckable🤢🤢🤮🤮

Obvious larp 😴😴😴

playing league

I escaped that digital fent years ago and never looked back

"Yikes... Huge red flags..."

Yikes, top comment was written by a man.

1) League of legends is super gay

2) People who play it should be bullied relentlessly

3) Anyone who actually gets mad over video games is in the top 1% of faggotry and should be purged from the gene pool by any means necessary

This is such easy fucking bait.

Male feminists start smelling blood and they throw any rational to the wind at the opportunity to maybe rape a girl who doesn't exist.

If the first word of your reply is ever yikes then you should be put on a list.

My boyfriend (m26) verbally insulted me (f24) in League of Legends, was I being too sensitive?

We’ve reached peak reddit

I know of 3 couples that play video games together and 4 couples that play co-Ed sports together. It is ALWAYS a disaster.

First reply is a 'yikes' of course