Are you genuinely mentally challenged? Please use whatever little brain cells you have left after your glue huffing addiction to think a little bit before posting something as stupid as this again. Thanks and have a nice evening. ^src

Snapshots:

1. In all honesty, I 100% judge you if... - archive.org, archive.today

I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

I can cook but choose not to, because I don't identify as a woman.

Foids can't cook when I was dating my wife her family told me she was a great cook 9+ years later when they come visit they're always asking what I'm going to make them.

Sounds like she wears the pants.

Sounds more like a foid being useless, as is tradition. If I learned one thing when I went to Johnson & Wales for culinary training, it's that all the best chefs and cooks are men. This is one of the reasons why even women who aren't an embarrassment to their gender don't do barbecue. Anything complex that involves fire requires a man's touch.

Women who can't cook generally overlap on a Venn diagram with women with daddy issues. They're easy to impress with even the simplest of meals in addition to being starved for the attention of a mature gentleman.

I can tell you're good at cooking cus this pasta is fucking excellent.

My dad cooks once a week and it's always some kind of steak or seafood, or otherwise something with a flair. He also cooks once a year for the extended family because he makes an absolutely delicious prime rib. Extended family Christmas was almost rescheduled this year when he didn't know if he had that day off, because everybody knows whatever would be substituted just wouldn't measure up.

He worked for a while as a cook at steakhouse so now he basically only cooks to satisfy his own need to be creative in the kitchen. He is kinda like the 'i just want to grill for God's sake' meme

my dad is the same. He makes fucking bonkers halibut and chicken wings.

Men who can only cook large slabs of meat because they put it in the barbecue and set a timer are only one step above ramen manchildren

kys incel the prep and seasoning of the meat is half the battle and why you keep eating burnt plastic for dinner and your bull gets bigly mad

Imagine thinking you can consistently make good steak on a bbq by using a timer. I bet your steak is well done and served with ketchup, bistek al presidente

Imagine being entrapped by a useless foid's family.

How's the relationship between you and her bull?

Thinking that foods can cook better than men

Please.

Can we get rid of manlets already? 🙄 Who needs em? 😑

Okay let's keep a few 😒

Indeed

No it would just make < 6'4" the new manlet. Drama intact and social progress.

Short girls create em

Pathetic

Damn I never thought about this. Femlets are the real scourge

Forced HRT for all “men” 5’12” and below when

It's too bad that it has to be forced and they can't just do what's best.

If they were the kind that did what’s right G-d wouldn’t have made them manlets in the first place

Day of the 'you must be this tall to ride' sign, when??? 🤔

Have you seen the movie Snowpiercer? I suspect there will come a day that we need manlets to operate in the middle of heavy machinery, like the disposable fun-sized drones they are.

We already do that. When I was in the Navy they always made the smallest guy put on the suit and crawl in the sanitation tanks to clean them out.

Should have used them to clear out minefields TBH.

They're not big enough to set off the detonators.

Dude shussy lmao

Very true

I wish that were true, and I wish everybody the best at learning, but I once acquiesced to helping an acquaintance.

I gave a basic demonstration for chopping up an onion. Very detailed, very clear, on hands.

It was her (she was 26) turn to do it. She put the knife in her hands was about to make the first cut on the onion with the spine side down, and her palm -- force down -- on the sharpened edge.

I hadn't expected her to be this dumb, and it was only my fast reflexes that managed to stop her from slicing her palm open on my ultra sharp victorinox chef's knife

I was sad

Imagine being worse at cooking than the great gourmet and average drama poster, Merill Howard Kalin

>remove the skin; fat no good

>smothers it in sugar sauce

reee

SO GOOD

Oh god, just imagine the salmonella.

Yes but my time is worth $200 a hour, which is a figure I have based on the theoretical money I could make selling old shoes on eBay in the time it would take me to boil pasta.

Imagine not knowing how to feed yourself simple dishes to survive lmao

What do people who can't cook even do? How do they eat? Do they really get takeout or eat ramen all the time?

now you understand why there's an entire aisle in most grocery stores dedicated to frozen meals for one.

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I don't think I've ever eaten anything worse than the frozen beef and mashed potatoes

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And why it's usually next to the pet supplies aisle.

Those cost so much though for so little. It's like 2-4$ per frozen meal. It unbelievable to me people live off them.

Most people are just as abysmal at money management as they are with cooking. Other domestic activities like laundry and cleaning go here too.

Basically every time someone whines about their 'depression' and how they can't cook or fend for themselves, you know they're a permanently stunted western millenial that needs a swift kick in the ass.

Pretty much and a lot of these 'people' seem to take pride in being completely and totally incompetent. It's gross.

My friends who can't cook subsist off of frozen dinners and wonder why they have such little money and feel like shit all the time.

Is it because they are your friends? Are you stealing from them and bullying them constantly?

When I was eight years old, I stole my friend's jump rope and tied it to the back of a truck that drove away, and then I told him I had no idea what happened to it. And when he cried himself to sleep, I ate his candy and told him God took it because he hated him.

Based

A lot of buying preprepped food that requires little to no actual stove/oven work or just straight takeout.

It's kinda pathetic tbh.

It's like being an incel but of cooking.

This is going to end up going under /r/gatekeeping but "heating up (prepared) food/leftovers" doesn't fall under the category of "cooking".

Your microwave doesn't make you a "cook".

These differences, however, are another thing that NEETs and incels are trying to muddy so they don't sound as pathetic and incompetent.

You're right, but a lot of people don't have cooking skills.

Boiling plastic pasta, warming "meat" sauce, and nuking premade seasoned meatballs is the new cooking an italian dish.

You're right, but a lot of people don't have cooking skills.

That's all and good, but don't try to pawn off microwaving as "cooking" is all I'm saying.

Maybe I'm getting old, but somewhere we gotta draw the line between human and incel.

My brother falls into a category similar to this. Frozen meals or ramen pretty much.

Even worse than the subset of people who are terminally online (oddly enough they can just look up recipes and instructions),

that can't cook for themselves.

Oh you could say I eat out 😏

they go on Reddit to complain about how expensive food is in this is America

Food Deserts are no longer Reddit’s cause of the month. 😥😥

I just eat fruit, walnuts, granola, cold cuts, sandwiches, etc. I can cook, I just never got into the habit of making a regular thing out of it.

when i worked in the restaurant industry i legit didnt know how to cook because i never needed to.

Yes, that's why they're so fat

I typically think the subtext of "I can cook" implies more than nuking hot pockets or throwing chicken and tortillas into some enchilada sauce.

Are there in fact millennial/genzcels who can't even do this?

There is a whole lot of people who think boiling hot dogs, "baking" pizzas, and making Easy Mac is cooking. Their main source of vegetables come from microwavable bags or canned.

theres nothing wrong with a big ass bag of frozen veggies tho

and theyre dirt cheap unless you're a retard buying the ones with the individual one serving packets

I used to live with a dude who repeatedly tried to cook a thin ass, cheap ass, almost-expired 'managers special' steak by blasting it on high heat in a small non stick skillet made for, like, eggs. He said if you cover it with a 'glass lid' you dont even need to flip it.

Guys in a sober living house now paying $150 a week for what essentially amounts to prison food now.

If a person can't dice an onion or use them appropriately in a dish at least 75% as well as this guy, then I'm going to seriously question any of their life skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwRttSfnfcc

I do that now. I won't often eat a whole onion like an apple, with I definitely will take full bites.

My favorites are white (I know 🤮), but depending upon the dish, sweet vidalias have their uses.

Ok eating raw onions in large chunks is definitely weird, but hey.

Another great onion recipe is to just bake an onion for a little under an hour and just fuckin eat it.

Same with the garlic, always do that when camping, any unused heads the last night just cut the tops off a little and throw em in a double wrapped ball of foil with oil +/- herbs like basil or whatever, then just stab the mushy cloves out with a fork or pocket knife

I also regularly eat whole raw cloves of garlic

Your coworkers/wife/mom can tell

Lol, who said I had any of those?

Your waifu pillow can tell too

How can a savage such as yourself even begin to criticize other people's culinary skills?

Neanderthals had better taste than you.

Once you gnaw on raw onion you never truly stop. Tell me honestly now if you can't that sulfur in your mouth right now.

Onions, dumbass.

Onions are high in sulfur, which is what gives them such a pungent taste, especially raw.

You fucking troglodyte.

Now I am scared that you eat human flesh.

I'm on to you..

The bitter taste after an onion has been cut is hypothesized to be related to unique sulfur-based compounds reacting with the air. Not sulfur per se as the tard you're responding to says but the "Allithiolanes" they found are composed of sulfur compounds. It's likely a natural pesticide designed to deter insects from eating the bulb while it's still in the ground.

If you are going to call me a retard, say it to my face.

Tell me honestly now if you can't taste that sulfur in your mouth right now.

Point being they don't taste like sulfur, they taste like onion and the onion taste comes from novel sulfur based compounds which taste like onion, not sulfur. Are you too much of a brainlet to comprehend the difference?

Next, would you like to tell me the difference between pedophilia and ephebophilia?

Based and Holespilled

I didn't know about turning the onion around the knife. That's pretty useful actually.

It is very useful, most people tend to use knifes poorly.

Even people who use paring knifes don't use them right, and even in the outdoors and carpentry most people are very few and far in between who are skilled in using bladed tools with great skill.

Which is interesting, since it is one the earliest skills that earliest hominids had. Using sharpened rocks was one of the earliest good tools, but yet today most fools can barely safely handle or skillfully use a modern piece of sharpened steel.

Teach me the blade, autist.

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Get a serrated z knife or three. You can use them on anything and they don't need to be sharpened and are like $8 apiece. Faggy boomer gourmands love their nippon-steel but every line cook is really just using a cheap serrated z for most stuff because they just work well.

Link one plz

They are also called offset knives

you wanna use a serrated knife to cut onions?

Yeah you can use it for any kind of slicing. If you are dicing on a cutting board and just chopping away like a pleb it doesn't really work but if you use the hashtag slicing technique as discussed in this thread they work fine

While you were shitposting, he studied the blade

Most people also have either shit knives they bought at Wal-Mart made of steel which will never take an edge let alone hold one, or good knives that they have literally never have had sharpened let alone knowing how to sharpen (and owning the stones) or hone.

So when they try to use a knife as blunt as a set of car keys, they get frustrated and give up

As you know, a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one.

Huh, that's what my 8th grade science teacher said about after I mixed chlorine and bleach in 2nd period.

I always wondered why my parents kitchen knofe set seemed so dull, then it dawned on me that they used a glass cutting board...

One time I lost my chance with a girl because I told her her knives were shit. She was tryna fuck but I was tryna cut some onions and getting annoyed at how hard it was to cut a damn onion with her stupid piece of shit knives.

Whip out your whetstones and put a mirror edge on the knives and if she doesn't get instantly whet then you know it wasn't worth it

I can cook OK, but I only have like 5 dishes that I can say I cook really well.

If you don't make up a new dish every time you cook, you're doing it wrong. Use that creativity and ingenuity!

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I have recently perfected smashed couliflower.

Here's the best cauliflower, you can serve it on the side of a more substantial dish, e.g. pan-fried fish or braised ribs, or eat it as a soup:

• buy cauliflower (it's a lot better if you get it fresh from a farmer's market or upscale store, especially if it's one of the cool colorful ones like purple)
• steam or boil cauliflower florets until they're soft
• put florets in a blender with some of the boiling/steaming liquid
• add salt, pepper, thyme, whatever else you want in there but it is sufficient with those alone
• add a bit of butter and sour cream, maybe start with a tablespoon each
• blend
• enjoy!

That's what I do, snally! Everything except thyme. I'll have to try that. I don't like cooking but try to stay healthy. I've been lifting weights so I need protein plus vegetables. I don't like a lot of vegetables, but smashed couliflower with broccoli has been my go-to lately with lemon pepper chicken for the protein.

I’m lazy..you need to add in a 4th thing.

imagine not being able to make soup or cook a steak (both very easy

Is that a thing? How do people not know how to cook a steak?

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I see poors can post on the internet now.

You are first on the chopping block, buddy.

Joke's on you. I'm tasteless.

>being proud of being a retard

Stephen Hawking

dumb bitch

Unbelievably based.

Hawking was a crock tbh

I've found this trend of bragging about not knowing how to do things to be incredibly disturbing. Like it isn't a good thing to be proud of the fact you're shit at math, don't know how to cook or what have you.

"Derr adulting hard 😂😂😂"

bragging about not knowing how to do things to be incredibly disturbing

To your point: the bragging about doing normal everyday activities is also becoming incredibly disturbing.

&#x200B;

"Oh, how many steps did you do today?" -Fitbit user

"idk moron, I don't keep track of my normal everyday activities.

How many breaths have you taken today?

Cause if it's higher than 1 please stop."

I LOVE BEING A HUMAN TAMAGOCHI REEEEEEE 😡😡😡😡

Cope honestly

I’m shit at math but who the fuck doesn’t know how to cook? Following a recipe is easy as shit and if you’re just making dishes out of leftovers or spare ingredients things like stir frys, casseroles, and soups don’t even need a recipe no matter how skilled you are. Do people just lack logical skills?

not heard someone brag about it per say but I have heard countless times now "i'm not a computer person" It's 2019. What you're really saying is I failed at this basic life skill.

But if the gen x’ers and eaely millennials learn how to do computer shit 90% of the IT industry is gonna die

Posts on drama. Disturbed by cope. Do you get off to your own panic?

Steps to becoming as chad as I am.

1.) Learn to cook you lazy faggot 2.) Learn to fish or hunt to get your protein, you faggot. 3.) Learn to grow your own vegetables, you faggot. 4.) When the apocalypse comes we will be using you for salted meat for the winter.

If you don't have lethal amounts of carcinogens in your system from handcrafting your own plastic tactical gear, you are an evolutionary dead-end.

None of my gear is tactical. It's all tacti-cool.

😎😎😎

low speed high drag

I always enjoy these thoughtful posts on arr drama.

Go drink another budweiser, hoosier

OTOH foodies are worse than fucking gamers. Like, if your hobby is just stuffing food in your mouth and acting like it's special you're about as low as you can possibly get.

In my limited experience, even when pressed, the "I cAn'T CoOk" people just won't do it and go to take out and frozen meals. And I refuse to believe they can't read and follow 5 basic instructions.

Now I get that in life, we humans are often very risk-averse and are afraid of failure, and that can be a very powerful fear.

But it's fucking food. You burn some shit or it tastes gross, you toss it in the compost, wash the dishes and try again. Probably the least scary or damaging thing in life.

cooking is based af, because i make all the shit i personally like, perfectly to my own taste, it's fkn addictive and ends up tasting better than anything i could buy because i know all the exact flavors i like and in what combo and amount etc.

you'd have to be a fucking retard to not enjoy this ridiculously good pleasure on a daily basis.

test

When people tell me they live off microwave dinners because they can't cook I can't help but show my disgust.

Imagine using recipes to cook instead of inventing your own shit on the spot like improvisational jazz

It's called "Ratatouille."

grug no like reading

neckbeards looking for a social life need to learn a thing or two from Weber Cooks. it changes lives for the better. straining spaghetti onto the floor unstickies it for a day or two (and telling people you recycle your water earns bonus social points). normalizing the pain joy from decades of cooking for one can help channel the discipline needed to grab a boiling hot bowl of spaghetti water out of a microwave (people love this kind of crazy dedication).

just don't take dating advice from him. it'll land you on a sex offender list.

Literally this

I once cooked a sandwich.

Cooking right now.

Feeling cute might post the result later.

It's literally pick a recipe from a decent site and do it as it says. Hell, some of my best dishes come from recipes in obscure websites that required little to no adjusting. Seriously. If you can't cook and feel proud of it, chances are you're a useless cumbrain.

I made a bomb ass soup this weekend with 3 separate garnishes. This weekend I'm doing a test run of a honey brined turkey for friendsgiving.

WHat does this say, I had an aneyurism trying to understand this.

𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮𝙨𝙖𝙧𝙪𝙝 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙣

just put some potatoes in a pan, heat it and you're basically cooking already lmao

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look im gunna have 2 ask u 2 keep ur giant dumps in the toilet not in my replys 😷😷😷

I am a bot. Contact for questions

shut the fuck up bitch

I used to eat frozen food. I am still disappointed I did not start cooking earlier. It has gone a long way towards improving my quality of life.

•Learn a new skill

•Save money

•Get healthier

•Eat better-tasting food (most of the time)

There is really no reason not to do it except laziness.

there's too much to unpack here

and please refrain from punching down in the future

marginalized oppressed poc minority activism empowerment trans women are women girldick

For any brainlets like me who only have the mental disk space to hold a few recipes, try out some of these stir-fry recipes:

https://i.imgur.com/WEXnfR4.jpg

The orange-cashew chicken is 👌 if you use chicken thighs

No noodles?

Replace the noodles for greens for increased virility

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What? Of course I can't cook. Cooking is for servants and women (basically the same thing). Why would you be proud of being able to cook? That's like being proud of your toilet cleaning skills.