Only SRDines get the can. You losers need to learn how to make proper cranberry sauce like a boss.
1 2019-11-20 by HodorTheDoorHolder_
If you can boil pasta then you can make cranberry sauce.
This is the most basic of all recipes:
- Cranberries
- Sugar
- Orange Juice or water if you're poor
Coat cranberries in sugar. Let it sit until sugar is like a wet glaze on your dark red balls. While you're glazing your balls, put orange juice in a pot and boil it. Then add the cranberries. Keep the heat high until your balls start to boil. Reduce to a simmer and stir gently periodically until your dark red balls start to split at the skin. Now you need to continuously stir so as not to let your balls stick to the scalding metal pot. Cook it until it's thinner than you want it to be because it thickens as it cools. Turn off the stove and remove the pot from the heat. When it fully cools you should be able to serve your sugar coated, boiled balls to your entire family. They will most likely be impressed by your balls because they're dumb. Garnish with an Epstein actually killed himself and you're done. It's that easy.
Feel free to experiment with spices such as nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves or allspice. Some people add crushed walnuts to give it texture. I like to add a bit of orange zest towards the end of it to really enhance the citrus taste.
So that's it. No more cans during the holidays.
21 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2019-11-20
You're not even trying to be witty or anything, you're just circlejerking. How does it feel literally karma whoring, like, actually just being a human who cares enough to type multiple comments for no purpose except to draw a nearby majority's attention to the fact that you agree with them?
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
1 McFluff_TheCrimeCat 2019-11-20
Disgusting. 🤢🤮
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-11-20
JUST EAT IT KEVIN!!!
1 pepperouchau 2019-11-20
I bet it goes great on tendies, you should try it!
1 duckraul2 2019-11-20
I have never liked cranberry sauce, this is apparently an unpopular opinion as my physical therapist looked shocked when I told her that yesterday.
The only cranberries around me on Thanksgiving are dried ones mixed in with balsamic oven roasted brussel sprouts
1 pepperouchau 2019-11-20
Imagine eating cabbagelets
1 The_Great_I_Am_Not 2019-11-20
Of course, fresh anything is always better, prepared with love but there's still a bit of nostalgia associated with that jiggly wavy pile of weirdness that comes out of the can.
Regardless, ambrosia is the superior choice to even fresh cranberry sauce.
1 CucksLoveTrump 2019-11-20
if you can't slice it, i aint eating it
1 Alicesnakebae 2019-11-20
I would love a weekly cooking post on drama just flex on the fat fucks that only eat fast food
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-11-20
You would like that wouldn’t you
1 Platycel 2019-11-20
Me too.
1 hyledog 2019-11-20
I just follow the recipe on the ocean spray bag of cranberries
1 capthazelwoodsflask 2019-11-20
Cranberries just take valuable stomach space away from green bean casserole. Your recipe and directions do sound pretty good, tho.
Any ideas on how to cook the neck? That really is the tenderest meat but the turkeys tend to break them once they know that their goose is cooked.
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2019-11-20
Green bean casserole is disgusting
1 capthazelwoodsflask 2019-11-20
I think that's what you meant to type.
1 pepperouchau 2019-11-20
Don't try to reason with the terminally mayo
1 The_Reason_Pete_Wins 2019-11-20
Disgusting
1 jaredschaffer27 2019-11-20
Hodor, I usually like everything you post, but this deserved a 1 day ban.
1 SandorClegane_AMA 2019-11-20
#2 Game of Thrones username on /r/Drama.
1 Llamayoda 2019-11-20
Looks like I started something huh
1 gilmore606 2019-11-20
i make apple-cranberry sauce, which is superior in all ways and can be eaten on biscuits also. or at least i used to before my wife left me and took all my friends away. this thanksgiving i'm looking forward to a mcdonalds value meal. christ why did i comment.