You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that I’m a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then it’s time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you – yes, specifically you – is obviously my first priority… but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything that’s even tangentially related to what they’ve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the site’s executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I don’t actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parents’ basement would mean that I wouldn’t get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures – using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue – of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once I’ve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual users’ days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if I’m going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat – which is a trilby, of course – and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
It’s time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. She’ll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Don’t ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because I’ll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, I’ve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters haven’t told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, they’re only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything – especially if it’s entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier – I’ll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, it’s the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You don’t need to read this, because you’ve already decided that you know it all.
The Broward police force is filled with spicy drama. The Florida governor fired the sheriff and the sheriff has gone full sperg mode in his crusade to regain his job.
The one nice thing about the Broward Sheriffs is that they wouldn't pull you over for speeding because they thought it was below them to hand out tickets. The motorcycle cops and Five-Ohs would rape you in traffic tickets though. Luckily, you can just pay $100 to an attorney and the tickets disappeared.
I think the fact that most cops are uneducated undertrained losers is more the problem. They don't have the balls to pull up to someone they think could be dangerous without shooting them 12 times in the chest.
They're given surprisingly little training with those guns, which are usually glocks, which due to being striker fired weapons tend to have a heavy, almost double-action trigger pull. I hear the NYPD's glocks are set to 12 pounds. They should just teach them to aim 6 inches to the left of where they want the shots to land.
Glocks a have a decent trigger pull, nypd retardation aside. Its not a target grade trigger or anything, but its very usable.
The nypd increased the pull weight in a attempt to mimic revolvers cause incompetent boomer cops kept shooting themselves in the leg when they switched from revolvers. Iirc they had the habit of putting their finger on the trigger during the draw, and instead of fixing that through training, they handicapped the gun.
That post was more about calling the police retarded than defending glocks. I dont own one or have a desire to but ive fired a few and they are solid guns.
I already made that same fundamental joke, pick a new one and stop stealing jokes. I rightfully deserve ownership of that joke because I collected it as passive income through ownership of the means of production.
Rightoids would have never crossed the asile on the pig question. They love worshipping the troops/police. BLM did fuck up by alienating centrists though.
Yeah but most of the anti-cop strains of the far-right would never work with the left anyway (except when you get into the real fringes of both sides) so it's not really serving as a wedge issue there either.
Both sides need the old to die before real progress can be made. Currently we’re bullying thin blue line posters on twitter, we’ll see what the future holds.
How did BLM in anyway damage political discourse? They highlighted police violence and brutality.
While le epic centrists and #alllivesmatter go" bu..buhhh.buuuht they're not racicst they target everyone!!!!11!1! Instead of actually protesting it or doing shit about it
Lol at blaming blm. Why didn't other groups try to do a better job then?
So no rightoids will ever cross the aisle on this new wedge issue for a whole generation.
And black lives matters politicized criticizing police enforcement.
How do you think problems are solved you fuckin retard? Do you think cop unions and republicans will be persuaded? That getting enough likes on facebook will fix the issue?
BLM got more attention on the issue of police brutality. electing people who want to curtail and limit police abuse and increase accountability is the only solution.
BLM obsessed over two false cases of police brutality while there are dozens on a daily basis the media won't report on because its not profitable, and 99% of Americans literally care about nothing but what fox/CNN tells them to care about.
Zimmerman was a false case but not a false case of police brutality. Jamar Clark, who got shot by the Minneapolis police because he was dumb enough to try and assault his girlfriend again while the cops were arresting him for doing it the first time, is a better example.
White people’s confidence in the police being racially unbiased increased from like 35% to 52% as a result of Ferguson protests.
That's how people work, you single out some group and blame it for something and they would deny that this happens (or if it does then it's good and deserved), because it's no longer about facts, it's about politics, i.e. who should be in charge.
Take for example the Baltimore riots. In that area of the city, it was the central drop off point for the city school busses. Cops let the busses in. They refuse to lead the kids out. Kids stand their for three or four hours in the sun until a bottle gets thrown, you got a riot. Protests against a couple of cops decapitating a dude are now associated with a riot.
They don't need to be competent. During the Baltimore riots, the Chief of Police claimed that the Bloods, Crips, and the Black Guerilla Family had put out hits on cops.
The dumbest claim in the world....yet the media ate it up...
Well at least the cops are safe guys, that’s all that matters. Preferably in the future we can give them drones so that they could handle this situation by creating a massive crater and killing everyone in the vicinity and no risk to their own very precious lives.
Robocop will be able to shoot you once in the genitals, twice in the chest, and once in the face, getting off all four rounds faster than you can blink and with perfect accuracy at up to 600 yards.
Unfortunately, because computers are as dumb as the electrified sandcastles that they really are, the reason Robocop just blew you away is because its threat identification algorithm mistook your drink bottle for a molotov cocktail.
Robocop can identify you as a threat and shoot you dead in under 200 milliseconds. So fast you probably wouldn't even realize what was happening even if you were looking directly at Robocop the moment it identified you as a threat.
So prostate milking technology must be pretty advanced in the future.
Depends on the jurisdiction tbh. Where I live all the cops are great and actively participate in the community. That and standards/training requirements are super high here
The problem is a general lack of accountability. Remember the Daniel Shaver? The cop that killed him was reinstated on the police force and given full retirement benefits.
I’m a normally calm and composed person but the police in this video make me just fucking furious. Like genuinely angry that they got away with this murder
Eh, our county has over a million people of all different levels of income. And my neighbor’s house was broken into and had their guns stolen so I wouldn’t exactly say either of those are true
African cops are likely more competent. I wouldn't trust a US cop as far as I could throw them.
Member that African US cop who blasted the white foid who approached their car? Over his buddy in the passenger seat, and she was the one who called them. that was peak cop lmao
Police officers responded to reports of the robbery within a minute and a half, but by that time the robbers and the shopkeeper had opened fire on each other and the robbers had fled.
No. Cops are retarded but cartels have the combined bloodlust of the Spanish and the Aztecs. I'd feel safer around basketball Americans and I say this as a criollo Cathbol.
I love how twatter thinks that in this type of situation everyone is thinking rationally and not that some maniac is about to shoot at everyone in the streets.
Lets throw them in a hostage situation and see how calm, cool, and collected they think.
I don't care about the robbers getting shot, I think the cops are fucking retards for forcing a shootout in the middle of a crowded highway by running after these dudes with 100+ cops instead of just following them with a helicopter and stopping them in an area without tons of civilians locked in their cars in the middle of a shooting gallery.
Yes, I think these car jackings should be more scheduled and we should definitely just have a helicopter up there for when they shoot people on a busy highway. This way, we can wait for them to kill someone and only THEN shoot the men with guns holding hostages. Totally agree.
They carjacked it earlier and there were already helicopters in pursuit, the only reason the pursuit ended on the highway was the cops getting a big dick about being heroes or some dumb shit.
Now this may be difficult for you, but consider a scenario where the cops dont send 100+ cops in pursuit to end it on the highway and instead wait till they leave the interstate and then try to stop them, do you think more or less people die.
Actually lets even consider the cops just letting them get away, do you think the robbers getting away with like 100k from their stickup is better or worse then stopping the robbers and killing two civilians including the hostage?
Just remember the only people who got shot were BY the cops, just reminding you since you seem a little bit on the slow side 🤗
Dont worry, the cops took care of shooting at everyone in the streets. I mean holy shit how many people were surrounding that truck that could have taken a stray bullet from these shit shots?
The jewelry store owner knew what was up. He scared away the robbers with his gun and prevented his entire shop from being massacred by trigger happy cops.
151 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2019-12-06
Damn, you know what?
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that I’m a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then it’s time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you – yes, specifically you – is obviously my first priority… but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything that’s even tangentially related to what they’ve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the site’s executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I don’t actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parents’ basement would mean that I wouldn’t get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures – using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue – of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once I’ve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual users’ days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if I’m going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat – which is a trilby, of course – and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
It’s time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. She’ll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Don’t ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because I’ll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, I’ve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters haven’t told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, they’re only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything – especially if it’s entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier – I’ll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, it’s the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You don’t need to read this, because you’ve already decided that you know it all.
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
1 boyoyoyoyong 2019-12-06
I believe this was done by the world famous broward county police force
1 AlveolarPressure 2019-12-06
The Broward police force is filled with spicy drama. The Florida governor fired the sheriff and the sheriff has gone full sperg mode in his crusade to regain his job.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Broward county has to be fucking cursed
1 Lysis10 2019-12-06
The one nice thing about the Broward Sheriffs is that they wouldn't pull you over for speeding because they thought it was below them to hand out tickets. The motorcycle cops and Five-Ohs would rape you in traffic tickets though. Luckily, you can just pay $100 to an attorney and the tickets disappeared.
1 Mayos_side 2019-12-06
They knew the risks.
1 McFluff_TheCrimeCat 2019-12-06
Having like 40 cars cars trying to follow him and then opening fire in the middle of a crowded road I’m surprised it’s not more.
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
No cops that’s all that matters :)
To protect and serve themselves
1 alphetaboss 2019-12-06
First time I've agreed with you. This situation just keeps getting sadder.
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
Watermark, lately a lot of your posts haven't been shit and I'm pretty proud. Join the Cathbol brother, you'll love it.
1 jackcaboose 2019-12-06
is this the first non-retard watermark post?
stay based king
1 TaysSecondGussy 2019-12-06
Wow they got more than that shooter in Hawaii the other day.
1 [deleted] 2019-12-06
[removed]
1 NathansFamousDogpill 2019-12-06
I literally got so enraged watching this i almost seriousposted but im better now.
1 employee10038080 2019-12-06
ACAB
All commies are 🅱️etarded
1 NotoriousChenposter 2019-12-06
Its why I always say that black lives matter is the most useless movement ever.
Cops aren't all racist trigger happy killers.
Cops are all incompetent trigger happy killers.
There's a difference. And black lives matters politicized criticizing police enforcement.
So no rightoids will ever cross this new wedge issue for a whole generation.
1 [deleted] 2019-12-06
[removed]
1 ironicshitpostr 2019-12-06
You’re Fucked
1 200iqBigBrain 2019-12-06
Marines in Fallujah would be less likely to get away with that sort of thing than cops in America
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
I DIDNT SAY SIMON SAYS
1 TheColdTurtle 2019-12-06
MOTHER FUCKER DID I JUST HEAR A FART?
1 employee10038080 2019-12-06
Hanlon's razor
1 Alicesnakebae 2019-12-06
Imagine being this much of a bitch burger cops are trash own a gun its more useful and you don't need to feed it everyday
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
Self-defense is necessary in the modern environment, all people must be armed
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Yesterday you called me a terrorist for saying this.
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
I am large, I contain multitudes.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Multitudes of dudes loads
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
this
1 AugustinesBitchBoy 2019-12-06
I think the fact that most cops are uneducated undertrained losers is more the problem. They don't have the balls to pull up to someone they think could be dangerous without shooting them 12 times in the chest.
1 wm20123 2019-12-06
They're given surprisingly little training with those guns, which are usually glocks, which due to being striker fired weapons tend to have a heavy, almost double-action trigger pull. I hear the NYPD's glocks are set to 12 pounds. They should just teach them to aim 6 inches to the left of where they want the shots to land.
1 NathansFamousDogpill 2019-12-06
Glocks a have a decent trigger pull, nypd retardation aside. Its not a target grade trigger or anything, but its very usable.
The nypd increased the pull weight in a attempt to mimic revolvers cause incompetent boomer cops kept shooting themselves in the leg when they switched from revolvers. Iirc they had the habit of putting their finger on the trigger during the draw, and instead of fixing that through training, they handicapped the gun.
1 wm20123 2019-12-06
I'm sorry for impugning the function of your "problem solver", they can't possibly have terrible stock triggers.
1 NathansFamousDogpill 2019-12-06
That post was more about calling the police retarded than defending glocks. I dont own one or have a desire to but ive fired a few and they are solid guns.
1 wm20123 2019-12-06
You just keep digging the hole deeper, like a government funded elective surgery.
1 NathansFamousDogpill 2019-12-06
I'll dig your hole deeper
1 wm20123 2019-12-06
I already made that same fundamental joke, pick a new one and stop stealing jokes. I rightfully deserve ownership of that joke because I collected it as passive income through ownership of the means of production.
1 megafaggotron1986 2019-12-06
that sounds like a problem that solves itself
1 [deleted] 2019-12-06
[removed]
1 TheFerrret 2019-12-06
The biggest problem is cops are liable for literally fucking nothing if any action taken is remotely related to enforcing any law.
1 AlveolarPressure 2019-12-06
Rightoids would have never crossed the asile on the pig question. They love worshipping the troops/police. BLM did fuck up by alienating centrists though.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
The farther right you get the more you hate cops though
1 snallygaster 2019-12-06
Yeah but most of the anti-cop strains of the far-right would never work with the left anyway (except when you get into the real fringes of both sides) so it's not really serving as a wedge issue there either.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Both sides need the old to die before real progress can be made. Currently we’re bullying thin blue line posters on twitter, we’ll see what the future holds.
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
Yeah but most rightoids are neocons.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
We’re trying to fix it give us time!!
1 AlveolarPressure 2019-12-06
Depends on where they are on the libertarian/authoritarian axis though. The right has its fair share of bootlickers who think a cop can do no wrong.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
If you tell rightoids that cops kill 10000 dogs annually they turn quick.
1 Corporal-Hicks 2019-12-06
Seems you've never seen a boogaloo meme
1 AlveolarPressure 2019-12-06
I always took that as hating the feds while still supporting your local police force, but I admit I don't know much about gun culture
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Feds are just cops, but with more power
1 VidiotGamer 2019-12-06
I hate serious posting, but you just accurately described the main way identity politics destroys political discourse.
1 Fading_Joy 2019-12-06
How did BLM in anyway damage political discourse? They highlighted police violence and brutality.
While le epic centrists and #alllivesmatter go" bu..buhhh.buuuht they're not racicst they target everyone!!!!11!1! Instead of actually protesting it or doing shit about it
1 simplicity3000 2019-12-06
BLM is about inciting racial resentment and hatred against whites, not about police violence.
1 Fading_Joy 2019-12-06
I guess the darkies better shut up then
1 simplicity3000 2019-12-06
why?
1 Fading_Joy 2019-12-06
because muh race relations and civility
1 [deleted] 2019-12-06
[removed]
1 44561792 2019-12-06
The fuck does this have to do with BLM
1 George__soyros 2019-12-06
Lol at blaming blm. Why didn't other groups try to do a better job then?
How do you think problems are solved you fuckin retard? Do you think cop unions and republicans will be persuaded? That getting enough likes on facebook will fix the issue?
BLM got more attention on the issue of police brutality. electing people who want to curtail and limit police abuse and increase accountability is the only solution.
1 TheFerrret 2019-12-06
BLM obsessed over two false cases of police brutality while there are dozens on a daily basis the media won't report on because its not profitable, and 99% of Americans literally care about nothing but what fox/CNN tells them to care about.
1 George__soyros 2019-12-06
What does this mean? Can you prove that
1 Brahmasexual 2019-12-06
Remember Garner? He was a good boy.
1 George__soyros 2019-12-06
You think the nypd using an illegal choking hold was justified? Is that how much you hate black people?
1 Brahmasexual 2019-12-06
I will grant that a bullet to the forehead would have been more humane.
1 TheFerrret 2019-12-06
Garner, Michael Brown. George Zimmerman.
1 THOT-AUDITOR 2019-12-06
Zimmerman was a false case but not a false case of police brutality. Jamar Clark, who got shot by the Minneapolis police because he was dumb enough to try and assault his girlfriend again while the cops were arresting him for doing it the first time, is a better example.
1 George__soyros 2019-12-06
How was the garner Case fake?
1 sup3r_hero 2019-12-06
I don’t understand the take on rightoids here. Are you saying they won’t criticize cops due to the BLM movement?
1 zergling_Lester 2019-12-06
Yeah
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/wp/2014/12/09/whites-are-more-confident-than-ever-that-their-police-treat-blacks-fairly/
White people’s confidence in the police being racially unbiased increased from like 35% to 52% as a result of Ferguson protests.
That's how people work, you single out some group and blame it for something and they would deny that this happens (or if it does then it's good and deserved), because it's no longer about facts, it's about politics, i.e. who should be in charge.
1 DangerNut 2019-12-06
It's called a "controlled burn" in some circles.
Take for example the Baltimore riots. In that area of the city, it was the central drop off point for the city school busses. Cops let the busses in. They refuse to lead the kids out. Kids stand their for three or four hours in the sun until a bottle gets thrown, you got a riot. Protests against a couple of cops decapitating a dude are now associated with a riot.
1 snallygaster 2019-12-06
Do you have links to info about this tactic?
1 totally_not_ac3 2019-12-06
I highly doubt any police force would be competent enough to pull that off
1 DangerNut 2019-12-06
They don't need to be competent. During the Baltimore riots, the Chief of Police claimed that the Bloods, Crips, and the Black Guerilla Family had put out hits on cops.
The dumbest claim in the world....yet the media ate it up...
1 200iqBigBrain 2019-12-06
Being a mayo does less to protect you than being a foid but that's not a conversation we're ready for
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
I think the opinion on the right is that cops are murderous dickheads but black males are statistically more likely to have encounters with them.
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
Well at least the cops are safe guys, that’s all that matters. Preferably in the future we can give them drones so that they could handle this situation by creating a massive crater and killing everyone in the vicinity and no risk to their own very precious lives.
1 Mayos_side 2019-12-06
You're teetering on seethe here, buddy.
1 VanillaReign 2019-12-06
For once I think watermark is slightly justified.
1 watermark1917 2019-12-06
i always am
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
Imagine defending the thin mayo line
1 TaysSecondGussy 2019-12-06
This will probably happen within a century.
1 collectijism 2019-12-06
I saw that movie elysium no thanks
1 shitpersonality 2019-12-06
Robots are going to replace police for this kind of stuff.
1 TaysSecondGussy 2019-12-06
😳😳😳😳
T-they can backflip now. No one told me this and I don’t like it.
1 KittehDragoon 2019-12-06
Robocop will be able to shoot you once in the genitals, twice in the chest, and once in the face, getting off all four rounds faster than you can blink and with perfect accuracy at up to 600 yards.
Unfortunately, because computers are as dumb as the electrified sandcastles that they really are, the reason Robocop just blew you away is because its threat identification algorithm mistook your drink bottle for a molotov cocktail.
1 shitpersonality 2019-12-06
They will be able to milk a prostate twice as fast as that.
1 KittehDragoon 2019-12-06
Robocop can identify you as a threat and shoot you dead in under 200 milliseconds. So fast you probably wouldn't even realize what was happening even if you were looking directly at Robocop the moment it identified you as a threat.
So prostate milking technology must be pretty advanced in the future.
1 Msmit71 2019-12-06
Fisto 😍😍😍
1 PaidToOpinionate 2019-12-06
!remindme 60 years
1 RemindMeBot 2019-12-06
I will be messaging you in 60 years on 2079-12-06 11:38:35 UTC to remind you of this link
CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
Lmao I'll probably dead by this time and damn better be not on Reddit by this time. Maybe my grandson will see this post.
1 serialflamingo 2019-12-06
I hope they get paid leave for their pain and suffering 😌
1 thomasJEROMEnewton 2019-12-06
Nice job i hope the cops don't break their arms patting themselves on the back!
1 Alicesnakebae 2019-12-06
Burger cops are literally retarded
1 tHeSiD 2019-12-06
The van stopped, they could have taken a tactical approach but instead they start blasting.
1 professorshillphd 2019-12-06
Literally all they know how to do. I've said this countless times - US cops are the most incompetent on the planet.
Fking African cops are likely more competent.
1 CountChadvonCisberg 2019-12-06
Depends on the jurisdiction tbh. Where I live all the cops are great and actively participate in the community. That and standards/training requirements are super high here
1 The_Reason_Pete_Wins 2019-12-06
The problem is a general lack of accountability. Remember the Daniel Shaver? The cop that killed him was reinstated on the police force and given full retirement benefits.
Shit's fucked yo.
1 CountChadvonCisberg 2019-12-06
I’m a normally calm and composed person but the police in this video make me just fucking furious. Like genuinely angry that they got away with this murder
1 200iqBigBrain 2019-12-06
(reasonable) SEETHING
1 Shitposting_Skeleton 2019-12-06
Lemme guess, you live in a high-income neighborhood with low crime rates.
1 CountChadvonCisberg 2019-12-06
Eh, our county has over a million people of all different levels of income. And my neighbor’s house was broken into and had their guns stolen so I wouldn’t exactly say either of those are true
1 Shitposting_Skeleton 2019-12-06
Hmm, maybe other areas should adopt whatever your county's doing then.
1 CountChadvonCisberg 2019-12-06
That would be nice, there would be significantly less seething nationwide if that were the case
1 tHeSiD 2019-12-06
lmao they had like 100 cars following that and the first thing they do is shoot https://v.redd.it/jdk59i68bw241
1 Alicesnakebae 2019-12-06
And people thought GTA was a parody
1 Manchu_Fist 2019-12-06
Wtf all this was missing was cops on bicycles peddling past in the end.
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
They must've been so excited to finally shoot someone that they sent the entire police force lmao. Not excessive at all.
1 UnkillRebooted 2019-12-06
Fucking hell, did they call in the entire city's force?
1 zergling_Lester 2019-12-06
Member that African US cop who blasted the white foid who approached their car? Over his buddy in the passenger seat, and she was the one who called them. that was peak cop lmao
1 XionXionHolix 2019-12-06
Austards were not happy with this, let me tell you...
1 2Manadeal2btw 2019-12-06
We weren't, especially because our cops are 10 times fucking better.
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
That's one ugly noid.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Damn he actually got sentenced to 12 years, that’s a surprise.
1 Dramacel69 2019-12-06
Holy shit this is unreal
What did he mean by this?
1 OfficialBeetroot 2019-12-06
His finger did it not him
1 UnkillRebooted 2019-12-06
Burger cops also use 100 bullets where 5 would do. Even a stormtrooper is more efficient than them.
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
Might as well legalize crime to reduce casualties.
1 kermit_was_wrong 2019-12-06
'Murica
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
I see nothing wrong with this. Shopkeeper defended his establishment, got the robbers to leave, and wasn't shot a hundred times by retard cops.
1 kermit_was_wrong 2019-12-06
Who said there was anything wrong with it?
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
Probably some fags on Twitter.
1 kermit_was_wrong 2019-12-06
I see some redundancy in your statement.
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
True. So just people on Twitter. Especially Stephen King his posts are a gold mine.
1 RedditorsFartToo 2019-12-06
Shoot first, no need for questions.
1 UnkillRebooted 2019-12-06
Lol, why do burgers cry about violent tacos when their local pigs already do all this violence for free?
1 hmunkey 2019-12-06
I’d rather be near Mexican gangsters than the cops. At least the gangsters know there are repercussions to shooting me.
1 BrownGuyInNewEngland 2019-12-06
Good one
1 Tzar-Romulus 2019-12-06
No. Cops are retarded but cartels have the combined bloodlust of the Spanish and the Aztecs. I'd feel safer around basketball Americans and I say this as a criollo Cathbol.
1 ason 2019-12-06
Yeah, cartel snuff films are worse than ISIS videos and huehue machete executions put together.
1 unrulyfarmhand 2019-12-06
Are you asking why burgers cry about additional unnecessary murders?
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
Free? They get paid to kill. All thanks to
your taxesthe taxes from those who are employed1 ArtisanalCollabo 2019-12-06
Chapo brigade in full force. Get your 30 seconds hate in before mommy brings down the tendies
1 [deleted] 2019-12-06
[removed]
1 caffeine_g0d 2019-12-06
Hero police save the day once again
1 Lysis10 2019-12-06
I love how twatter thinks that in this type of situation everyone is thinking rationally and not that some maniac is about to shoot at everyone in the streets.
Lets throw them in a hostage situation and see how calm, cool, and collected they think.
1 Volhar 2019-12-06
Its two robbers not two mass shooters you fucking donut lmao.
And I would trust twitter over burger cops in a hostage situation since atleast I have a shot of survival if twitter is handling it
1 Lysis10 2019-12-06
oooh robbers are not as bad as shooters? oic. Not dangerous when all the wittle robbers did was steal a UPS truck. So cute and precious.
1 Volhar 2019-12-06
According to my count, the robbers killed 0 people and the cops killed two, plus I'm pretty sure robbery is still a bit lower than shooting someone.
1 Lysis10 2019-12-06
oh so they need to kill someone first before shooting them? ooo oic ic.
1 Volhar 2019-12-06
I don't care about the robbers getting shot, I think the cops are fucking retards for forcing a shootout in the middle of a crowded highway by running after these dudes with 100+ cops instead of just following them with a helicopter and stopping them in an area without tons of civilians locked in their cars in the middle of a shooting gallery.
1 Lysis10 2019-12-06
Yes, I think these car jackings should be more scheduled and we should definitely just have a helicopter up there for when they shoot people on a busy highway. This way, we can wait for them to kill someone and only THEN shoot the men with guns holding hostages. Totally agree.
1 Volhar 2019-12-06
They carjacked it earlier and there were already helicopters in pursuit, the only reason the pursuit ended on the highway was the cops getting a big dick about being heroes or some dumb shit.
Now this may be difficult for you, but consider a scenario where the cops dont send 100+ cops in pursuit to end it on the highway and instead wait till they leave the interstate and then try to stop them, do you think more or less people die.
Actually lets even consider the cops just letting them get away, do you think the robbers getting away with like 100k from their stickup is better or worse then stopping the robbers and killing two civilians including the hostage?
Just remember the only people who got shot were BY the cops, just reminding you since you seem a little bit on the slow side 🤗
1 Dramacel69 2019-12-06
USA
USA
USA
1 Wraith_GraveSpell 2019-12-06
Dont worry, the cops took care of shooting at everyone in the streets. I mean holy shit how many people were surrounding that truck that could have taken a stray bullet from these shit shots?
1 Peetrius 2019-12-06
We did it Patrick, we saved the city!
1 pig_farming 2019-12-06
Cops = high school dropouts with license to kill.
Give citizens the license to carry at least, out in public and that will be somewhat close to fairness
1 AlveolarPressure 2019-12-06
The jewelry store owner knew what was up. He scared away the robbers with his gun and prevented his entire shop from being massacred by trigger happy cops.
1 Dramacel69 2019-12-06
USA! USA! USA!
1 pogchamp123456 2019-12-06
american police should not have guns lmao
1 CUMNOR 2019-12-06
That UPS driver had a gun, at home, so it was preventative execution.
smdh doubting the psychic police