You see, a professional comedian can pack so much wit into a single tweet. On the other hand when society lets someone build a career out of whining about Star Wars films, the results lack that sparkle.

1  2019-12-13 by SandorClegane_AMA

26 comments

"Internalized misogynist" and "prude" are the new slurs for women with standards and boundaries. Don't let newspeak fool you. ;)

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Why these people so bussy blasted just cause daddy told her to chill out and go see a movie. I hear adults telling kids to chill out all the time.

Why these people so bussy blasted just cause daddy told her to chill out

I see you have never told a foid she is overreacting to something if this surprises you.

Dumb foids, fatties getting mad at their marketing is good for them, dont play into it!

Instead point out they are just selling protein powder, niacin and fiber with a 100% markup over a normal vendor lmao

Its the same as Epstein giving a kid advice.

The Blue Checkmark echo chamber has become like the person who has given up venturing outside to interact with the real world and instead sits home 24/7 naked and un-showered jerking off.

sits home 24/7 naked and un-showered jerking off.

What's the downside?

As long as they stay in their social media echo chamber there is none.

The only difference is instead of the cops breaking down the front door because the neighbors have been complaining about a stench coming from next door and find you dead with your cock in your hand in front of a monitor full of embarrassing porn, your monitor has your latest epic orange man bad tweet halfway finished.

To be fair, Patton Oswalt has been a sky-is-falling liberal as long as he's had a career, Twitter just amplifies it. When he takes a breath between rants about conservatives he's actually really funny.

Wait is that the guy who killed his wife?

Allegedly. All we know for a fact is he contributed to the circumstances which ended her life. Not the same thing.

Wait really? Lol. I do know that he remarried really quick and the new one is a slight upgrade

No-one can say for certain if it was manslaughter or murder, so lets be considerate here folks.

Imagine being in hollywood entertainment and thinking you have any connection with the majority of Americans lol

  • Fat - check
  • Ugly dyed hair - check
  • Declaration of personal victimhood - check

People keep telling me to work on my personal shortcomings and better myself, those fucking NAZIS

You ever notice how none of the people who say shit like this are never even remotely happy in life? Must be a coincidence

honest question

where the fuck did Patton Oswalt come from? don't comedians have to actually do something successful to stay this relevant for this long? i can not name a single thing he's done besides some retarded stand-up act where every joke is just him making a stupid nerdman voice and talking about how he's fat and nerdy.

it's like he tried to pull a Chris Farley but has neither the energy nor charisma, but osmehow he's still around. fuck. i hate patton oswalt.

Quit your whining. At least he didn't kill your mother.

that you know of

He rode in on Kevin James' gunt and never left

Hes in Disney lore now

honest answer

Oswalt began performing stand-up comedy on July 18, 1988. After writing for MADtv and starring in his own 1996 comedy special for HBO, he went on to garner notable roles in films and television shows, his film debut coming in the 1996 military comedy film Down Periscope alongside Kelsey Grammer and his television debut in the Seinfeld episode “The Couch”. His most prominent and long-running role was as Spence Olchin on The King of Queens. His first starring film role was as the voice of Remy, the lead character in the 2007 Academy Award-winning Pixar film Ratatouille. He has also appeared in smaller roles in such films as Magnolia and 22 Jump Street.

Oswalt wrote the comic book story "JLA: Welcome to the Working Week", a backup story in Batman #600; a story for Dwight T. Albatross's The Goon Noir #01 and a story for Masks: Too Hot for TV. Expanding his voice artist repertoire, he began voicing the villainous character "Tobey" on PBS Kids GO! series WordGirl in 2007. He also appeared on the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner. In August 2007, he appeared on the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.[14] In 2007, he appeared on an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, "The Original Fry Cook", as Jim. In 2008 Oswalt moderated a reunion panel of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 cast at the San Diego Comic-Con International.

In 2009, Oswalt played Paul Aufiero, the leading role in Robert D. Siegel's 2009 directorial debut, Big Fan. He was to star in a 2010 Broadway revival of Lips Together, Teeth Apart. However, the show was postponed then eventually canceled due to Megan Mullally's departure from the production when the director denied her request to replace Oswalt due to his lack of stage experience.

He starred in the Showtime drama The United States of Tara as Neil, an employee of Four Winds Landscaping. He also provided the voice of Thrasher, a robot protagonist from the Cartoon Network show Robotomy.

In 2010, Oswalt emceed for BookExpo America, promoting his then-upcoming book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland and introducing the evening's panelists: Christopher Hitchens, William Gibson, and Sara Gruen. In 2011, Oswalt released Zombie Spaceship Wasteland.

In November 2011, Oswalt played the role of Hurlan Heartshe in the surrealist comedy miniseries The Heart, She Holler on Cartoon Network's late-night programming block, Adult Swim. Also in November 2011, Oswalt appeared in A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas. In December 2011, Oswalt played Matt Freehauf in Jason Reitman's black comedy Young Adult. In 2012, he played Billy Stanhope, ex-best friend of Ashton Kutcher’s Walden Schmidt on Two and a Half Men.

As of September 2013, Oswalt narrates the TV series The Goldbergs. He also had a recurring role as Constable Bob Sweeney in the fourth season of the FX series Justified.

Patton played the role of Agent Koenig on the TV series Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. He later appeared in separate episodes as brothers Eric and Billy Koenig. He continued to appear in the second season as Billy and a third brother named Sam. In season four, he also played a fourth brother, Thurston.

In January 2015, Oswalt's memoir Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film was published by Simon & Schuster. He also voiced the male version of Jesse in Minecraft: Story Mode, which was released in October 2015.

In November 2015, Oswalt was announced to be playing "Max" in the reboot of Mystery Science Theater 3000, as the son of Frank Conniff's character TV's Frank.

Oswalt had a voice over role in science fiction comedy film Sorry to Bother You, which was released in theaters on July 6, 2018.

Oswalt replaced Louis C.K. in the 2019 film The Secret Life of Pets 2, as the voice of main character Max. In addition, he reprised his role as Professor Dementor in the Disney Channel Original Movie Kim Possible, a live action adaptation of the 2002-2007 animated series.

On April 15, 2019, Oswalt joined a host of other writers in firing their agents as part of the WGA's stand against the ATA and the unfair practice of packaging.

On June 21, 2019, Oswalt became a jannie on the /r/drama subreddit and became one of the most prolific sticky posters.

Your pulitzer's in the mail

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His standup is really funny but his twitter sucks ass