The First Incel, Pygmalion
30 2020-01-05 by AugustinesBitchBoy
Thought I might educate y'all on some ancient Greek mythology:
Backstory Context: Aphrodite got pissed at a bunch of foids on Cyprus for not recognizing her divinity and turned them into the first prostitutes
Pygmalion was an 🤮incel🤮 sculptor who lived in Cyprus, allegedly he was a virgin because he thought the women were disgusting whores. Lets be real here, he was clearly an ugly social retard (incel) who couldn't even get fucked by literal whores.
So, he decides to put his sculpting skills to work and creates his perfect waifu. A sculpture believed to have a perfect lifelike beauty, so beautiful in fact that Pygmalion decides he wants to fuck it. As all pathetic incels do, he brings his 🗿🗿🗿stone body pillow into his bed and pretends it's a real life women that can be fucked, finally bringing him out of inceldom. Even though it's just a foid-shaped rock, Pygmalion simps for it, making sure it's got nice pillows and an expensive duvet cover.
Later in a pathetic act of desperation, Pygmalion attends a festival for Aphrodite and in silence (so that no one can hear and make fun of him), Pygmalion prays that his waifu becomes real. Aphrodite realizing that he is an incel and may shoot up the festival later, grants him his prayer. Pygmalion returns home and starts kissing his rock waifu, eventually he notices that the statue is actually kissing him back😲😲; a foid is actually making physical contact with him! Aphrodite had granted him his very own sex slave so that he may lose his incel status and finally become happy.
The moral of the story here is that if you are an incel, you should preform rituals and pray until you are granted sex by some divine creature.
26 comments
70 aduketsavar 2020-01-05
Wow, he was literally me. I'm starting to believe in reincarnation you guys
68 TrailerParkRide 2020-01-05
hey nice post
50 yeetsaucepeteross 2020-01-05
Imagine becoming sentient as a statue but your only purpose is to fuck an ugly loser
On the flip side, imagine getting dumped by the statue you created
That’s probably the story of the first MGTOW
36 shadowles5 2020-01-05
Based and greekpilled
25 SaveUsUncleTed 2020-01-05
> not endulging in Pristine boipussi
Wow, c*priots truly are at best store-brand greeks
20 JohnStuart_Shill 2020-01-05
mashallah there is wisdom in the ancients بوسي بوسي بوسي بوسي
5 15nelsoc 2020-01-05
The punishment for idolators and pagans is death and the eternal fires of Jahannam.
14 YoshFromYsraelDntBan 2020-01-05
I'm just surprised this isn't a HardIsLife post.
17 goldfish_memories 2020-01-05
Not enough Asian racism in it
13 MG87 2020-01-05
One of the few Greek mythological figures to not fuck a dude, or get raped by Zeus
8 texanapocalypse33 2020-01-05
Imagine she becomes sentient and leaves you for another man
8 YourGreatDarshFace 2020-01-05
Nice story, but I gotta say, years of going "Oh God, please let me get some tonight!" has a very low success rate.
8 simplicity3000 2020-01-05
have you tried praying to Aphrodite instead of your faggy christian god?
6 Chicken_____Man 2020-01-05
Imagine asking a w*man for something
5 simplicity3000 2020-01-05
pig male eon
coincidence?
4 PUBLIQclopAccountant 2020-01-05
Based.
4 The_Great_I_Am_Not 2020-01-05
This amused me.
One of the earliest examples of human art sculpture yet found is Venus of Willendorf
3 SnapshillBot 2020-01-05
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3 GeminiRocket 2020-01-05
Probably gay tbh
3 Chapo_Landlords 2020-01-05
Tip top stupidposting, lad. 10/10 would updoot again xd
1 [deleted] 2020-01-05
[removed]
1 sheepinb 2020-01-05
Solid thread, would like more greekposts🗣 What’s your ancient waifu and why is it artemis