George Soros has paid me $25 million to create this hurricane with a wooden spoon, glitter, and a bottle of Prosecco. I can do this because I’m a woman, and I can bleed each month without dying. He is sending me the money via magical unicorn. Gay Rainbow unicorn, of course...
Story's here so you can see what everyone's getting mad about. An excerpt:
Before the Army my name was Seo Ji Hee. Now my call sign is Barb, which isn’t short for Barbara. I share a rank (flight warrant officer), a gender, and a urinary system with my gunner Axis: we are harnessed and catheterized into the narrow tandem cockpit of a Boeing AH-70 Apache Mystic. America names its helicopters for the people it destroyed.
We are here to degrade and destroy strategic targets in the United States of America’s war against the Pear Mesa Budget Committee. If you disagree with the war, so be it: I ask your empathy, not your sympathy. Save your pity for the poor legislators who had to find some constitutional framework for declaring war against a credit union.
8 comments
1 BussyShillBot 2020-01-16
George Soros has paid me $25 million to create this hurricane with a wooden spoon, glitter, and a bottle of Prosecco. I can do this because I’m a woman, and I can bleed each month without dying. He is sending me the money via magical unicorn. Gay Rainbow unicorn, of course...
Outlines:
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1 SnapshillBot 2020-01-16
They targeted gamers. Gamers.
Snapshots:
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1 boyoyoyoyong 2020-01-16
Story sounds good tbh
1 y________tho 2020-01-16
Story's here so you can see what everyone's getting mad about. An excerpt:
1 artemis_m_oswald 2020-01-16
Pretty funny, I'm intrigued
1 trexmundi 2020-01-16
Legitimately a good line.
In reality it'll probably be Google they have to declare war on, but that's besides the point.
1 aduketsavar 2020-01-16
No, it didn't hurt you, it made you slightly discomfortable.
1 trexmundi 2020-01-16
There is nothing more antithetical to these people than creativity and humor. Except insight.