this shit's been around for ages, it's just exploded in popularity because it's a twitter aesthetic. it gets even more crazy when you stumble across hardcore occultist groups where everyone is trying to one-up each other over how powerful they are and how much arcane knowledge they possess (but they won't tell you what they 'know' because you have to figure it out for yourself!) and how many powerful demons/angels/gods/succubi they've spoken with
Don't listen to snally, she's a psychic vampire. Me and my sigil invocation, Thoth, have been fighting her through my astral projection for 999 years of past life reincarnation.
/x/ used to be the best, back in its heyday the good threads (both intentionally and unintentionally good) made sorting through all the shit worth it. This is still one of my favorite internet stories of all time, pretty much unrelated to the topic at hand but worth sharing
I remember all the wonderful content being generated from that board; some of it seriously spooked my younger self. How is /x/ these days? They were trying to create an alternative to the SCP Wiki last time I checked.
haven't checked it in ages but /x/ went to shit during the election. hopefully it's recovered. for as stupid as it was most of the time, the a lot of the stupid content was funny and every so often there was a genuinely interesting thread. the last good one i remember reading was an AMA from a voodoo practitioner who had actually been initiated after spending a lot of time observing the practice.
You forget that many of the sorcerers in other parts of the world have had one or more past lives as shamans on the Australian continent. Many of us have lived more years as a local shaman then those spirits currently inhibiting bodies identifying as Aboriginal.
can i get a n word pass if i say ive lived a thousand lives as an african?
I really don’t think they are zoomers tbh, at least by looking at their twitter profiles. But then again if they aren’t, they should have their own forum somewhere and you’d probably have an essay on them so idk
Little did the witches know that it was not their candle burning that brought the rain, but rather our prayers to Allah opened the floodgates in the sky 🙏
Moses said to the magicians summoned by Pharaoh, "Woe to you! Do not invent a lie against Allah or He will exterminate you with a punishment; and he has failed who invents [such falsehood]."
So they disputed over their affair among themselves and concealed their private conversation.
They said, "Indeed, these are two magicians who want to drive you out of your land with their magic and do away with your most exemplary way.
So resolve upon your plan and then come [forward] in line. And he has succeeded today who overcomes."
They said, "O Moses, either you throw or we will be the first to throw."
He said, "Rather, you throw." And suddenly their ropes and staffs seemed to him from their magic that they were moving [like snakes].
And he sensed within himself apprehension, did Moses.
Allah said, "Fear not. Indeed, it is you who are superior.
And throw what is in your right hand; it will swallow up what they have crafted. What they have crafted is but the trick of a magician, and the magician will not succeed wherever he is."
So the magicians fell down in prostration. They said, "We have believed in the Lord of Aaron and Moses."
[Pharaoh] said, "You believed him before I gave you permission. Indeed, he is your leader who has taught you magic. So I will surely cut off your hands and your feet on opposite sides, and I will crucify you on the trunks of palm trees, and you will surely know which of us is more severe in [giving] punishment and more enduring."
They said, "Never will we prefer you over what has come to us of clear proofs and [over] He who created us. So decree whatever you are to decree. You can only decree for this worldly life.
Indeed, we have believed in our Lord that He may forgive us our sins and what you compelled us [to do] of magic. And Allah is better and more enduring."
Indeed, whoever comes to his Lord as a criminal - indeed, for him is Hell; he will neither die therein nor live.
But whoever comes to Him as a believer having done righteous deeds - for those will be the highest degrees [in position]:
Gardens of perpetual residence beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. And that is the reward of one who purifies himself.
Rainmaking is an ancient and precise skill that was passed down from generation to generation. It’s not a spell you can whip together. If rain was brought it wasn’t from the prayers of a few well intentioned magicians. Credit belongs to the shamans and priests of the tribes who are native to Australia and actually know what they’re doing and have a relationship with the environment. I hear people taking credit for the rain on Twitter because they said a prayer on a whim. That makes me laugh. These rituals are extremely powerful because they are channeled by people who’s life’s purpose was to bring that specific practice to their people. Take it seriously.
My friend told me about Julius Evola the other day. If never heard of him so I looked him up and wikipedia said that one of his ideologies is "spiritual racism." Can we enlist some of these witches to enable him to mod from the afterlife?
He'd delete this entire subreddit for being degenerate technology users. One of the wildest political thinkers of the last century. He thought Nazism was wack not because it was too far but because it didn't go far enough. He hated the Catholic church and was an Italian prince who wanted to see the world governed by strength through noble bloodlines. He stood up to Mussolini a few times and was too much of a chad to have any punishment. He also practiced the occult and hated femininity and women by extension. He'd be the world's best shitposter
Philosophy really is the biggest grift in history. Just be a complete wackjob with uniquely insane ideas and you can coast through life. Like Diogenes was just a crazy homeless guy but he's remembered in history. That psycho from nonmorons who was saying women rape him by dressing like sluts would totally be a known figure if he had been born a century ago.
Credit belongs to the shamans and priests of the tribes who are native to Australia and actually know what they’re doing and have a relationship with the environment.
Huff the petrol till you're in the dream time, then piss out the fires from there.
These witches spells aren't working, because I am a full fledged wizard and I am fighting their spells. I waited until too many of them were trying to create rain, and then allowed Australia to flood. These witches can't compete with my powers.
I agree. I'm guessing a good many witches and 'witchlets' need to learn more direction and placing intent. When I did my part in the rain for Australia, it took days to prepare, hours to complete, and was emotionally and mentally draining. Even with that prep, I still needed more concentrated effort because we got a downpour at home. I entirely think we've done some good, even with the problems that have arisen. Perhaps a more concentrated and guided effort, focusing just on the fires, would have been better.
After reading this I considered casting Avada Kedavra on myself.
Moses said to the magicians summoned by Pharaoh, "Woe to you! Do not invent a lie against Allah or He will exterminate you with a punishment; and he has failed who invents [such falsehood]."
So they disputed over their affair among themselves and concealed their private conversation.
They said, "Indeed, these are two magicians who want to drive you out of your land with their magic and do away with your most exemplary way.
So resolve upon your plan and then come [forward] in line. And he has succeeded today who overcomes."
They said, "O Moses, either you throw or we will be the first to throw."
He said, "Rather, you throw." And suddenly their ropes and staffs seemed to him from their magic that they were moving [like snakes].
And he sensed within himself apprehension, did Moses.
Allah said, "Fear not. Indeed, it is you who are superior.
And throw what is in your right hand; it will swallow up what they have crafted. What they have crafted is but the trick of a magician, and the magician will not succeed wherever he is."
So the magicians fell down in prostration. They said, "We have believed in the Lord of Aaron and Moses."
[Pharaoh] said, "You believed him before I gave you permission. Indeed, he is your leader who has taught you magic. So I will surely cut off your hands and your feet on opposite sides, and I will crucify you on the trunks of palm trees, and you will surely know which of us is more severe in [giving] punishment and more enduring."
They said, "Never will we prefer you over what has come to us of clear proofs and [over] He who created us. So decree whatever you are to decree. You can only decree for this worldly life.
Indeed, we have believed in our Lord that He may forgive us our sins and what you compelled us [to do] of magic. And Allah is better and more enduring."
Indeed, whoever comes to his Lord as a criminal - indeed, for him is Hell; he will neither die therein nor live.
But whoever comes to Him as a believer having done righteous deeds - for those will be the highest degrees [in position]:
Gardens of perpetual residence beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. And that is the reward of one who purifies himself.
My brain can't conceptualize these are real adult woman thinking they are actual witches. I try to reframe it as a conscious LARP. But it isn't. They really think they can summon fucking downpours.
96 comments
1 AutoModerator 2020-01-19
do not comment or vote in linked threads
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1 ItsSugar 2020-01-19
"Thoughts and prayers" is a symptom across multiple strains of retardation.
16 FarSeat6 2020-01-19
I want to believe that its just a really dedicated larping sub.
And it is.
Just not in the way I wished it was.
14 snallygaster 2020-01-19
this shit's been around for ages, it's just exploded in popularity because it's a twitter aesthetic. it gets even more crazy when you stumble across hardcore occultist groups where everyone is trying to one-up each other over how powerful they are and how much arcane knowledge they possess (but they won't tell you what they 'know' because you have to figure it out for yourself!) and how many powerful demons/angels/gods/succubi they've spoken with
17 PM_ME_UR_SHINES 2020-01-19
Don't listen to snally, she's a psychic vampire. Me and my sigil invocation, Thoth, have been fighting her through my astral projection for 999 years of past life reincarnation.
10 snallygaster 2020-01-19
Curses! I will get you...one of these days... in this life or the next!
6 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
yes well my sigil invocation is named Thot and guess what we've been doing for the last 999 years 😏
1 R0saParkinsons 2020-01-19
Scamming lonely and horny children out of mommies money?
1 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
...maybe
3 imadethistoshitpostt 2020-01-19
Id say she's more of a emotional vampire.
3 Redactor0 2020-01-19
It's actually the same thing. Beware of energy vampires!
4 Bijzettafeltje 2020-01-19
/x/ is also hilarious.
7 snallygaster 2020-01-19
/x/ used to be the best, back in its heyday the good threads (both intentionally and unintentionally good) made sorting through all the shit worth it. This is still one of my favorite internet stories of all time, pretty much unrelated to the topic at hand but worth sharing
3 mechakingghidorah 2020-01-19
🥰
3 DinoHL 2020-01-19
I remember all the wonderful content being generated from that board; some of it seriously spooked my younger self. How is /x/ these days? They were trying to create an alternative to the SCP Wiki last time I checked.
2 snallygaster 2020-01-19
haven't checked it in ages but /x/ went to shit during the election. hopefully it's recovered. for as stupid as it was most of the time, the a lot of the stupid content was funny and every so often there was a genuinely interesting thread. the last good one i remember reading was an AMA from a voodoo practitioner who had actually been initiated after spending a lot of time observing the practice.
2 ironicshitpostr 2020-01-19
/x/ -/mlp/ tulpas tho
1 battlemoid 2020-01-19
Me and my 8000 year old loli vampire tulpa are disgusted.
3 mechakingghidorah 2020-01-19
If they were smart,they’d channel that autism into become the Western Natsu,instead they horseshoe into schizophrenia;the larp never ends.
2 Bummunism 2020-01-19
https://youtu.be/ToBdcRGsqr8
15 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
[-28]
can i get a n word pass if i say ive lived a thousand lives as an african?
8 tHeSiD 2020-01-19
If we all are descendants of africans don't we already have the pass? 🤔
3 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
damn nigga good point
1 Krishnoff 2020-01-19
Shiiiiieeet
8 GeminiRocket 2020-01-19
Aborigenes are Australoid you mutt
6 Chicken_____Man 2020-01-19
Ok retard, he was obviously saying he has lived as an African in a past life like how the witch has been an Abo in a past life
5 PsychologicalYam5 2020-01-19
do they get a pass?
5 snallygaster 2020-01-19
Is this "I was Cleopatra in a past life" for zoomers?
7 ExtremeBolsonaroFan 2020-01-19
I really don’t think they are zoomers tbh, at least by looking at their twitter profiles. But then again if they aren’t, they should have their own forum somewhere and you’d probably have an essay on them so idk
1 R0saParkinsons 2020-01-19
Imagine wanting to be a Greek dame in a past life.
1 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
Cleopatra was a DARK 👏🏿 GODDESS 👏🏿 KWEEN 👏🏿 you filthy colonizer
1 R0saParkinsons 2020-01-19
Get outta here with with Islamophobia.
3 zergling_Lester 2020-01-19
Lmao that upset the witches!
1 UKIP_Warrior 2020-01-19
1 Frostfright 2020-01-19
oh my god
that thread is amazing
12 Kat_B0T 2020-01-19
TIL “candle burners” is a slur for witches 🤔
20 TheLordHighExecu 2020-01-19
What's up my burna
5 imadethistoshitpostt 2020-01-19
Who me? Im more of coal burner myself?
12 clubby789 2020-01-19
C*ndle b*rner
3 automatic_cluck 2020-01-19
Cunt burners
1 Username-Alternative 2020-01-19
You called?
1 zhcyiDnein 2020-01-19
Holy fuck that’s next level
1 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
ewwww what the fuck
also anyone got her number?
8 Bijzettafeltje 2020-01-19
Burn the candle pay the prandle.
11 Dedod_2 2020-01-19
Little did the witches know that it was not their candle burning that brought the rain, but rather our prayers to Allah opened the floodgates in the sky 🙏
5 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
Quran 20:56-76
🙏🏾☪️
0 LongPostBot 2020-01-19
That's nice sweaty. Why don't you have a seat in the time out corner with Pizzashill until you calm down, then you can have your Capri Sun.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
6 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
You will burn in the fires of Jahannam for eternity, filthy synthetic creation
6 ImJustaBagofHammers 2020-01-19
It never began for Twitter witches.
21 AugustinesBitchBoy 2020-01-19
So is the witch hierarchy something like:
Abbos/Natives > Schizos > Twitter Witches > Male Feminist Astrologists > Crystal Mommies > Essential Oil Bitches
10 ImJustaBagofHammers 2020-01-19
You'll have to ask an expert.
5 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
Okay I'll prepare for seance with the ghost of Julius Evola. Don't think he'll agree with the abo ranking or women being on the list at all
5 slugulon 2020-01-19
My friend told me about Julius Evola the other day. If never heard of him so I looked him up and wikipedia said that one of his ideologies is "spiritual racism." Can we enlist some of these witches to enable him to mod from the afterlife?
5 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
He'd delete this entire subreddit for being degenerate technology users. One of the wildest political thinkers of the last century. He thought Nazism was wack not because it was too far but because it didn't go far enough. He hated the Catholic church and was an Italian prince who wanted to see the world governed by strength through noble bloodlines. He stood up to Mussolini a few times and was too much of a chad to have any punishment. He also practiced the occult and hated femininity and women by extension. He'd be the world's best shitposter
5 slugulon 2020-01-19
Philosophy really is the biggest grift in history. Just be a complete wackjob with uniquely insane ideas and you can coast through life. Like Diogenes was just a crazy homeless guy but he's remembered in history. That psycho from nonmorons who was saying women rape him by dressing like sluts would totally be a known figure if he had been born a century ago.
17 Ultrashitposter 2020-01-19
Huff the petrol till you're in the dream time, then piss out the fires from there.
10 wow___justwow 2020-01-19
good fucking god lmao
1 error404brain 2020-01-19
It get because abos killed like 95% of all animals when they arrived in australia.
9 big_papa_stiffy 2020-01-19
pretty sure aborigines started more fires than they ever put out
thats why shit never got overgrown enough to cause massive ones
also why 90% of the continent is a desert but whatever
3 CMDR-FusionCor3 2020-01-19
for all I could say they did a damn good job at land management and controlled burns
turns out when you stop setting fire to shit because the huwite man will get angry with you, the huwite man is inviting his hubris
3 big_papa_stiffy 2020-01-19
"green" groups protested all the backburning and land management as anti environmentalist, it wasnt even the abbos fault
and thats me saying that lol
3 BlastMyBussy 2020-01-19
Snappy plz
2 zergling_Lester 2020-01-19
twitches
1 TrailerParkRide 2020-01-19
My ancestors slaved away in the steel mills to build a better future so that a bunch of fat godless bitches could pretend to do magick tricks.
6 Chicken_____Man 2020-01-19
These witches spells aren't working, because I am a full fledged wizard and I am fighting their spells. I waited until too many of them were trying to create rain, and then allowed Australia to flood. These witches can't compete with my powers.
13 snallygaster 2020-01-19
🤣
1 le_swegmeister 2020-01-19
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Tj_l4PcPs
6 ClimaxPatrol 2020-01-19
They should try manifesting a diet, bazinga
6 jackcaboose 2020-01-19
the sheer narcissism required to think you can use your special magic powers to create rain must be incredible
2 forseti911 2020-01-19
On one hand that level of delusion is pretty enviable. The sense of accomplishment to actual effort ratio is enormous.
2 jackcaboose 2020-01-19
Personally I'd rather cling on to some sense of proportion
4 big_papa_stiffy 2020-01-19
the problem is that its just a bunch of crazy fat women with no power to manifest anything
7 megafaggotron1986 2020-01-19
They wouldn't be like this if they could at least manifest an erection
3 GeminiRocket 2020-01-19
Is there a forgiven spell like Harry Potter
3 QuadNarca 2020-01-19
After reading this I considered casting Avada Kedavra on myself.
14 Ultrashitposter 2020-01-19
Lmao fucking witchlets when will they learn
5 600_lbs_of_sin 2020-01-19
READ
5 tHeSiD 2020-01-19
👏
6 TrappyIsBae 2020-01-19
ANOTHER
9 Chicken_____Man 2020-01-19
👏🏿
8 whenweriiide 2020-01-19
BOOK
2 simplicity3000 2020-01-19
BOINK
1 [deleted] 2020-01-19
[removed]
2 PUBLIQclopAccountant 2020-01-19
OK, wandshitter.
3 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
Quran 20:56-76
🙏🏾☪️
0 LongPostBot 2020-01-19
I don't know what you said, because I've seen another human naked.
I am a bot. Contact for questions
6 15nelsoc 2020-01-19
I hope you were married first! You will burn in the fires of Jahannam for eternity, filthy synthetic creation
1 [deleted] 2020-01-19
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2020-01-19
No politics allowed in /r/drama, take it to /r/politicope or /r/democrat
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1 Supreme-E 2020-01-19
Holy shit. And I thought women who believe in astrology were retarded
1 SnapagatortheCroc 2020-01-19
My brain can't conceptualize these are real adult woman thinking they are actual witches. I try to reframe it as a conscious LARP. But it isn't. They really think they can summon fucking downpours.
1 CavernousFailure 2020-01-19
Women were a mistake.
1 HansaHool 2020-01-19
Foids are so fucking retarded and these creatures want equal rights.
1 UKIP_Warrior 2020-01-19
Imagine thinking burning a bit of wax dyed blue in China changes the weather on the other side of the planet.
1 10inchblackhawk 2020-01-19
Witches have no power over the Dark Lord of Nature, W.A. Tercycle.