Fuck you fat Americans
1 2020-01-22 by RedditIsFullOfBasics
Why the fuck is all your bread so sweet?
Even the 'healthy' options have honey and/or molasses. What the fuck is wrong with you all? I just want to make toast or a nice wholewheat sandwich without feeling like I'm eating a cake. I'm literally gonna buy a bread maker just so I can make normal fucking bread
Don't even get me started on that sliced 'rainbow bread' shit I see you fat fucks buying in the supermarket. Bitch, you're eating cake, that ain't bread~
Also fuck your idea of what butter is. Pale tasteless grease is not butter, cunts. I could talk about the cheese too but the entire world has already done that bit for me
Oh and there's more to beer than pisswater lager or IPAs so hoppy they taste like drinking a bouquet of flowers. Get some proper pilsners or weissbiers in your restaurants and bars
And finally: Dunkin Donuts is good, Krispy Kreme is dogshit. I am prepared to fite u irl on this
...
Cue salty responses from fat Americans. 1 downvote = 1 denial of the raw facts I'm spitting tbqh
87 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2020-01-22
They targeted gamers. Gamers.
Snapshots:
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1 FearOfBees 2020-01-22
We have a sickness for the thiccness
1 ponyblaze 2020-01-22
good luck surviving the imminent climate change famine without years of calories in storage
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1 i_Chapo-d_my_pants 2020-01-22
wait til you try burgerland peanut butter
1 Runeshamangoon 2020-01-22
Also, what the fuck is up with eating a fucking PB&J for lunch ? No wonder you're all fat if you think giving your kid a 800 calorie sandwich for lunch is normal
1 ManaosDeFaso 2020-01-22
peanut butter is 25,3 g of protein per 100g, its better than eating raw chicken breast, literally the best and only invention amerifats had
1 mrmrchavo 2020-01-22
How fuckin big of pbjs u make that are 800 calories
1 Giulio-Cesare 2020-01-22
It's easy to make and we're an extremely lazy people.
1 pm_me_ur_butthole420 2020-01-22
Or yoghurt
Or granola
fucking anything
1 15nelsoc 2020-01-22
I was entirely with you until you shit on Krispy Kreme. I now genuinely hope you get lynched by a mob of type 2 diabeetus fentanoids
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
Entirely possible if I set foot in a Krispy Kreme again
1 Lord_Sticky 2020-01-22
Burger here, what the fuck is rainbow bread
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
https://sugarspiceandglitter.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Rainbow-sandwich-bread.jpg.webp
1 Lord_Sticky 2020-01-22
I have literally never seen that before. Do you hang around flaming homos or something?
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
What do you think
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-22
We don’t know that’s why we’re asking!
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
Well I post here r-tard so clearly I'm a faggot
1 Lysis10 2020-01-22
lol I've never seen that either
1 Ferocetis 2020-01-22
Hmm... blue waffle.
1 DangerNut 2020-01-22
When I first moved to America, the weirdest thing I noticed was how bread could be kept on a shelf for a week.
I was confused as to how until I tried it and I realized it's nothing but chemicals.
I can't wait for the UK to start realizing that all their food is goingnto be expensive, shit from the US.
1 Runeshamangoon 2020-01-22
You seem to be implying UK food isn't already shit (admittedly cheap shit, but shit nonetheless)
1 Kramer_rulez 2020-01-22
I'll kreme your bussy if you keep taking that shit.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
Good start, but I'm a top <3
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2020-01-22
LOL, bullshit
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
Cope
1 drunior 2020-01-22
That's how we get you. One minute youre fucking a fat american. Ten years later you wake up by pulling your head out of a fat tub of lard named Tina in Alabama. Just to look in the mirror and realize you too, sir, are a fat Americunt. That's livin the dream friend.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
I unironically want to buy a gun
1 641232 2020-01-22
I saw a couple of your grandpa's guns for sale on gunbroker the other day. You should buy them to keep them in the family.
https://www.gunbroker.com/item/853681088
https://www.gunbroker.com/item/853681078
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2020-01-22
That lugar is really clean for it's age. I wonder if the finish was restored?
1 bioniclekinz 2020-01-22
Kerrygold off brands exist. Generally called irish butter
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
Funny you say that, kerrygold is exactly what I've been buying. I did find some artisinal "European style" meme though lately that I want to try.
1 drunior 2020-01-22
I'm sure you'll be bleeding stars and stripes in no time
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-22
Don’t buy cheap bread you retard
1 Jeb4Pres2020 2020-01-22
"American bread is too sweet!" strikes me as e*ro cope/ignorance tbh. Like they just go to the local Kroger, buy the cheapest and most basic Wonderbread, and think that's the only bread Americans ever eat. Literally any halfway decent grocery store in America sells actual healthy, whole-wheat bread that isn't sweetened like the cheap shit.
Same for beers. The OP seems to at least be aware of IPAs, but I've been to a ton of bars that have actual Pilsners and Weissbiers on tap. I would assume that you were visiting a broke-ass friend that dragged you to a shitty dive bar, the entirety of America doesn't match your limited-ass experiences.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
ACTUALLY SWEATY, your comment is Amerimutt ignorance
Even the "healthy" options at places like whole foods still taste like fucking cake. I've been in the store like a fucking autist reading ingredients on everything and it's all got honey or molasses or brown sugar
I mean, I know some types of bread need a bit of sugar to help the yeast rise but my tastebuds tell me there's a lot left over
I bet your fat American ass you've just shoved so many donuts down your burgerhole you can't taste sugar anymore unless it's diabetes-level
Also yes I can (and do) go to some hipster's A R T I S I N A L meme shop for actual bread but why I gotta do that just for normal bread huh?
Also why you guys wanna drive to everywhere? What kind of nation says "oh I fancy eating out tonight sweetheart, let's get in our massive truck with 4 wheels on the back axle and drive to a strip mall"?
Smh my head man
1 Simple321 2020-01-22
Based and superior-european-wheat-productpilled
1 warren1983 2020-01-22
Go to a fucking bakery fucktard quit buying wonderbread.
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2020-01-22
The big benefit of buying good bread isn't a reduction in carbs, but a reduction in preservatives.
1 Krystalana 2020-01-22
yeah is that where yanks get the reputation for sweet bread?
the homebrand bread at safeway california was pretty much the same taste wise as woolies australia.. perhaps a bit overlevended and airy if i was to critique it.
1 capthazelwoodsflask 2020-01-22
I'm old enough to remember when Eurotrash just whined about our pisswater lagers and pilsners.
And while you're right about Krispy kream, Dunkin also sucks. Go to a bakery and get real cake donuts.
Is the only place you shop at Walmart? Because even the most basic of Amerifats know that there are options then that. You became worse then that which you hate.
1 Burnnoticelover 2020-01-22
People forget Preston’s Law:
“For every item sold by a fast food restaurant, there is a better version sold by a mom and pop joint.”
1 Shitposting_Skeleton 2020-01-22
Cake donuts are terrible.
1 Lolbertians 2020-01-22
Fuck off yuropoor. We get it. Eating stale bread and beans every day has eroded your taste buds to not being able to enjoy anything that doesn't take a full 5 minutes to swallow.
Honey wheat bread is amazing. Also stop buy margarine at Walmart.
Dunkin is pretty good tho so I will give you that.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
ur mum took a full 5 minutes to swallow
1 Lolbertians 2020-01-22
Seethe harder yuropoor
The existence of Cuck Island and its consequences are a disaster for the human race.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
I mean kinda agree, the 1st amendment is one of the greatest things about the USA for example and every other country is cucked as hell including Bongistan
but sort ur fucking bread out m8
1 Lolbertians 2020-01-22
Our bread is pretty good. Might want to try out Mexican bread if you think burger bread is super sugary
1 Bijzettafeltje 2020-01-22
lmao you think we see a difference between burgers, tacos and Canucks? It's all the came country nigga
1 Lolbertians 2020-01-22
Do not compare glorious Taco to Leaf 😤
Leaves are Bongistan property and should be dealt with as such
1 ShitTornadoToOz 2020-01-22
Dude have you ever been to a panadería before? Everything in there is sweet.
1 Giulio-Cesare 2020-01-22
If you're buying your bread at Walmart what the fuck do you expect?
Go to Trader Joe's or some shit.
1 vgiannis1 2020-01-22
You better leave beans out of this 😤
1 Ferocetis 2020-01-22
But it is sugar that erodes you ability to taste...
1 StoneStasis 2020-01-22
Then buy whole grain bread you fucknut
1 vgiannis1 2020-01-22
The fact that burgercells think they invented the concept of microbreweries is the most pathetic of all. If you have to pay an arm and a leg for a beer then of course it's going to be good, that's true for everywhere in the world. The real question is: how good is the cheapest, mass produced beer that you can get in every supermarket in your country? That's the true measure of quality
1 TouchFIuffyTaiI 2020-01-22
Budweiser and such are below that bar though. They're the kind of beer you drink over an entire day, so they don't make them very heavy or alcoholic. They're also very cheap. They're basically a tier below normal beer.
1 Ferocetis 2020-01-22
If the Bud is 8° beer... I am even more disgusted than I was before. That's almost radler... with those corn sugars and no Saaz hops... I will throw up.
1 shitpersonality 2020-01-22
We perfected microbrews like we perfected pizza.
1 error404brain 2020-01-22
American "food" outside of meat is terrible. Just go full carnivore.
1 [deleted] 2020-01-22
[removed]
1 affectionateotter1 2020-01-22
Imagine actually eating bread.
Gluten-tolerant-cels BTFO.
1 MiltonFriedmanisbae1 2020-01-22
Let me guess, youre british?
1 BlooCheckmark 2020-01-22
Fuck America
1 weeaboo_olympics 2020-01-22
This would be based if you weren't a euro shithead. Be better sweaty.
1 ButtHuff 2020-01-22
How far along in your transition are you, OP?
1 PrinceOfBismarck 2020-01-22
Dude, the beer problem is real. The IPAs taste like bitch and the lagers (as you pointed out) taste like cold piss.america needs more malty shit.
1 konigstigerboi 2020-01-22
You guys pride yourselves on hot leaf water so shut the fuck up
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
m8 u fukin wot
u better neva say that shit bout my fokkin tea again or ill come round and knock ur fuckin teeth in ennit
i swear down m8 I'll pop off and dazza knows i'm an 'ard cunt just ask his dad
u fuckin mong
1 Giulio-Cesare 2020-01-22
Coffeecels are forever coping.
Just ignore them.
1 RedditIsFullOfBasics 2020-01-22
They need some herbal teas to relax!
1 Crowbar-12 2020-01-22
You may be right but your a eurocuck so opinion invalidated
1 OnlyRacistOnReddit 2020-01-22
How retarded do you have to be to not realize that the only difference between honey/molasses bread is what is used as the sugar for the yeast to eat instead of... SUGAR.
Bread is carbed up like nobody's business no matter what it tastes like.
1 bigfartguy 2020-01-22
American craft beer scene is the best in the world... fight me irl if any of you fucks think any different
1 muck4doo 2020-01-22
Try I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!®
That's the good stuff.
1 aqouta 2020-01-22
Hating America is so fucking cliche it's frustrating because it's just the boring regurgitation of dogma we've heard a thousand times from people whose worldview would shatter if they were forced to believe that America was capable of doing one thing well.
1 Frostfright 2020-01-22
lol leafcuck cope right here
1 Ferocetis 2020-01-22
What wrong with Usanian cheede? It has bullet holes in it?
1 ManBearFridge 2020-01-22
Import some Winsconsin cheese. That is all that state is good for.
1 mdbasak1994 2020-01-22
Cope
1 Lysis10 2020-01-22
I tried vegemite once and omg salty. Why do Ozzies like things so salty?
1 bioniclekinz 2020-01-22
Dont buy walmart bread if you dont want it sweet. Natures own is the best not fresh whole wheat imo. You are obviously still better off with fresh bread though. Kroger/harris teeter has fresh breads fyi.
1 dramasexual 2020-01-22
You're spitting straight facts about Krispy Kreme tbh. It's fucking disgusting in a way I have trouble even describing. Occasionally people bring Krispy Kreme into the office and you better believe I ain't touching that shit with a ten foot pole.
1 Whaddaulookinat 2020-01-22
Because there's no fat in them. So you counter the taste they add a shit load of sugar.
It sucks.
1 fitness 2020-01-22
Was agreeing with you up until here
This nigga has never heard of a microbrewery 👆
1 rakrakaon 2020-01-22
Bread in general is for fat people or poor people.