Fuck you fat Americans

1  2020-01-22 by RedditIsFullOfBasics

Why the fuck is all your bread so sweet?

Even the 'healthy' options have honey and/or molasses. What the fuck is wrong with you all? I just want to make toast or a nice wholewheat sandwich without feeling like I'm eating a cake. I'm literally gonna buy a bread maker just so I can make normal fucking bread

Don't even get me started on that sliced 'rainbow bread' shit I see you fat fucks buying in the supermarket. Bitch, you're eating cake, that ain't bread~

Also fuck your idea of what butter is. Pale tasteless grease is not butter, cunts. I could talk about the cheese too but the entire world has already done that bit for me

Oh and there's more to beer than pisswater lager or IPAs so hoppy they taste like drinking a bouquet of flowers. Get some proper pilsners or weissbiers in your restaurants and bars

And finally: Dunkin Donuts is good, Krispy Kreme is dogshit. I am prepared to fite u irl on this

...

Cue salty responses from fat Americans. 1 downvote = 1 denial of the raw facts I'm spitting tbqh

87 comments

They targeted gamers. Gamers.

Snapshots:

  1. Fuck you fat Americans - archive.org, archive.today

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We have a sickness for the thiccness

good luck surviving the imminent climate change famine without years of calories in storage

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Why the fuck is all your bread so sweet?

wait til you try burgerland peanut butter

Also, what the fuck is up with eating a fucking PB&J for lunch ? No wonder you're all fat if you think giving your kid a 800 calorie sandwich for lunch is normal

peanut butter is 25,3 g of protein per 100g, its better than eating raw chicken breast, literally the best and only invention amerifats had

How fuckin big of pbjs u make that are 800 calories

It's easy to make and we're an extremely lazy people.

Or yoghurt

Or granola

fucking anything

I was entirely with you until you shit on Krispy Kreme. I now genuinely hope you get lynched by a mob of type 2 diabeetus fentanoids

I now genuinely hope you get lynched by a mob of type 2 diabeetus fentanoids

Entirely possible if I set foot in a Krispy Kreme again

Burger here, what the fuck is rainbow bread

I have literally never seen that before. Do you hang around flaming homos or something?

What do you think

We don’t know that’s why we’re asking!

Well I post here r-tard so clearly I'm a faggot

lol I've never seen that either

Hmm... blue waffle.

When I first moved to America, the weirdest thing I noticed was how bread could be kept on a shelf for a week.

I was confused as to how until I tried it and I realized it's nothing but chemicals.

I can't wait for the UK to start realizing that all their food is goingnto be expensive, shit from the US.

You seem to be implying UK food isn't already shit (admittedly cheap shit, but shit nonetheless)

Krispy Kreme is dogshit.

I'll kreme your bussy if you keep taking that shit.

Good start, but I'm a top <3

LOL, bullshit

55% upvoted

Cope

That's how we get you. One minute youre fucking a fat american. Ten years later you wake up by pulling your head out of a fat tub of lard named Tina in Alabama. Just to look in the mirror and realize you too, sir, are a fat Americunt. That's livin the dream friend.

I unironically want to buy a gun

I saw a couple of your grandpa's guns for sale on gunbroker the other day. You should buy them to keep them in the family.

https://www.gunbroker.com/item/853681088

https://www.gunbroker.com/item/853681078

That lugar is really clean for it's age. I wonder if the finish was restored?

Kerrygold off brands exist. Generally called irish butter

Funny you say that, kerrygold is exactly what I've been buying. I did find some artisinal "European style" meme though lately that I want to try.

I'm sure you'll be bleeding stars and stripes in no time

Don’t buy cheap bread you retard

"American bread is too sweet!" strikes me as e*ro cope/ignorance tbh. Like they just go to the local Kroger, buy the cheapest and most basic Wonderbread, and think that's the only bread Americans ever eat. Literally any halfway decent grocery store in America sells actual healthy, whole-wheat bread that isn't sweetened like the cheap shit.

Same for beers. The OP seems to at least be aware of IPAs, but I've been to a ton of bars that have actual Pilsners and Weissbiers on tap. I would assume that you were visiting a broke-ass friend that dragged you to a shitty dive bar, the entirety of America doesn't match your limited-ass experiences.

ACTUALLY SWEATY, your comment is Amerimutt ignorance

Even the "healthy" options at places like whole foods still taste like fucking cake. I've been in the store like a fucking autist reading ingredients on everything and it's all got honey or molasses or brown sugar

I mean, I know some types of bread need a bit of sugar to help the yeast rise but my tastebuds tell me there's a lot left over

I bet your fat American ass you've just shoved so many donuts down your burgerhole you can't taste sugar anymore unless it's diabetes-level

Also yes I can (and do) go to some hipster's A R T I S I N A L meme shop for actual bread but why I gotta do that just for normal bread huh?

Also why you guys wanna drive to everywhere? What kind of nation says "oh I fancy eating out tonight sweetheart, let's get in our massive truck with 4 wheels on the back axle and drive to a strip mall"?

Smh my head man

Based and superior-european-wheat-productpilled

Go to a fucking bakery fucktard quit buying wonderbread.

The big benefit of buying good bread isn't a reduction in carbs, but a reduction in preservatives.

Go to a fucking bakery fucktard quit buying wonderbread.

yeah is that where yanks get the reputation for sweet bread?

the homebrand bread at safeway california was pretty much the same taste wise as woolies australia.. perhaps a bit overlevended and airy if i was to critique it.

Oh and there's more to beer than pisswater lager or IPAs so hoppy they taste like drinking a bouquet of flowers

I'm old enough to remember when Eurotrash just whined about our pisswater lagers and pilsners.

And while you're right about Krispy kream, Dunkin also sucks. Go to a bakery and get real cake donuts.

Is the only place you shop at Walmart? Because even the most basic of Amerifats know that there are options then that. You became worse then that which you hate.

People forget Preston’s Law:

“For every item sold by a fast food restaurant, there is a better version sold by a mom and pop joint.”

Cake donuts are terrible.

Fuck off yuropoor. We get it. Eating stale bread and beans every day has eroded your taste buds to not being able to enjoy anything that doesn't take a full 5 minutes to swallow.

Honey wheat bread is amazing. Also stop buy margarine at Walmart.

Dunkin is pretty good tho so I will give you that.

ur mum took a full 5 minutes to swallow

Seethe harder yuropoor

mum-posting

The existence of Cuck Island and its consequences are a disaster for the human race.

The existence of Cuck Island and its consequences are a disaster for the human race.

I mean kinda agree, the 1st amendment is one of the greatest things about the USA for example and every other country is cucked as hell including Bongistan

but sort ur fucking bread out m8

Our bread is pretty good. Might want to try out Mexican bread if you think burger bread is super sugary

lmao you think we see a difference between burgers, tacos and Canucks? It's all the came country nigga

Do not compare glorious Taco to Leaf 😤

Leaves are Bongistan property and should be dealt with as such

Dude have you ever been to a panadería before? Everything in there is sweet.

If you're buying your bread at Walmart what the fuck do you expect?

Go to Trader Joe's or some shit.

You better leave beans out of this 😤

But it is sugar that erodes you ability to taste...

Then buy whole grain bread you fucknut

The fact that burgercells think they invented the concept of microbreweries is the most pathetic of all. If you have to pay an arm and a leg for a beer then of course it's going to be good, that's true for everywhere in the world. The real question is: how good is the cheapest, mass produced beer that you can get in every supermarket in your country? That's the true measure of quality

Budweiser and such are below that bar though. They're the kind of beer you drink over an entire day, so they don't make them very heavy or alcoholic. They're also very cheap. They're basically a tier below normal beer.

If the Bud is 8° beer... I am even more disgusted than I was before. That's almost radler... with those corn sugars and no Saaz hops... I will throw up.

We perfected microbrews like we perfected pizza.

American "food" outside of meat is terrible. Just go full carnivore.

[removed]

Imagine actually eating bread.

Gluten-tolerant-cels BTFO.

Let me guess, youre british?

Fuck America

This would be based if you weren't a euro shithead. Be better sweaty.

How far along in your transition are you, OP?

Dude, the beer problem is real. The IPAs taste like bitch and the lagers (as you pointed out) taste like cold piss.america needs more malty shit.

You guys pride yourselves on hot leaf water so shut the fuck up

m8 u fukin wot

u better neva say that shit bout my fokkin tea again or ill come round and knock ur fuckin teeth in ennit

i swear down m8 I'll pop off and dazza knows i'm an 'ard cunt just ask his dad

u fuckin mong

Coffeecels are forever coping.

Just ignore them.

They need some herbal teas to relax!

You may be right but your a eurocuck so opinion invalidated

How retarded do you have to be to not realize that the only difference between honey/molasses bread is what is used as the sugar for the yeast to eat instead of... SUGAR.

Bread is carbed up like nobody's business no matter what it tastes like.

American craft beer scene is the best in the world... fight me irl if any of you fucks think any different

Try I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!®

That's the good stuff.

Hating America is so fucking cliche it's frustrating because it's just the boring regurgitation of dogma we've heard a thousand times from people whose worldview would shatter if they were forced to believe that America was capable of doing one thing well.

And finally: Dunkin Donuts is good, Krispy Kreme is dogshit. I am prepared to fite u irl on this

lol leafcuck cope right here

What wrong with Usanian cheede? It has bullet holes in it?

Import some Winsconsin cheese. That is all that state is good for.

Cope

I tried vegemite once and omg salty. Why do Ozzies like things so salty?

Dont buy walmart bread if you dont want it sweet. Natures own is the best not fresh whole wheat imo. You are obviously still better off with fresh bread though. Kroger/harris teeter has fresh breads fyi.

You're spitting straight facts about Krispy Kreme tbh. It's fucking disgusting in a way I have trouble even describing. Occasionally people bring Krispy Kreme into the office and you better believe I ain't touching that shit with a ten foot pole.

Why the fuck is all your bread so sweet

Because there's no fat in them. So you counter the taste they add a shit load of sugar.

It sucks.

Was agreeing with you up until here

Oh and there's more to beer than pisswater lager or IPAs so hoppy they taste like drinking a bouquet of flowers. Get some proper pilsners or weissbiers in your restaurants and bars

This nigga has never heard of a microbrewery 👆

Bread in general is for fat people or poor people.