Imagine being one of the other five people who died in the helicopter crash
1 2020-01-28 by Shubard75
Nobody gives a single fuck that you're dead. Your tragic fiery gruesome demise is completely overshadowed by the fact that you died next to a popular sportsball player and his kid. Your own friends and family will probably skip your funeral to get drunk and party at the Kobe vigil. Even the ones who want to go will get stuck in the traffic backup. RIP
55 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2020-01-28
No wonder you have an army of pretentious neckbeard losers following you around
Snapshots:
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1 fujiste 2020-01-28
X
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-28
Literally who?
1 wm20123 2020-01-28
Well, one of those people was his 13 year old daughter, so I'm sure she'll get considerable airtime at whatever putative funerary arrangements are made.
1 aduketsavar 2020-01-28
Is dying in a helicopter crash a cool way to die? Dying in a private jet crash is probably one of the coolest way to die but I'm not sure about helicopters.
ODing when snorting cocaine from a model's ass is definitely the coolest one, which is probably how McAfee will die anyway.
1 ClementineChime 2020-01-28
McAfee will go down in a gun fight or high speed chase. Something intensely violent.
1 RecallRethuglicans 2020-01-28
FTFY
1 ComedicSans 2020-01-28
Fuck me. This is what I need: McAfee knocking off all the other candidates in a live debate and then shooting up the crowd, a la McBain's standup comedy.
3 RecallRethuglicans 2020-01-28
Can he be sworn in from prison?
1 battlemoid 2020-01-28
That he started himself.
3 RecallRethuglicans 2020-01-28
โCorn pop? Is corn pop here?โ as McAfee pulls out a revolver following a Joe Biden ramble.
1 LightUmbra 2020-01-28
Nah. He'll just OD
1 Osterion 2020-01-28
Lol he's just going to OD alone and no one will give a shit
1 ClementineChime 2020-01-28
No
1 butwhydoesreddit 2020-01-28
How dare you imply McAfee is not a committed husband
1 ImNotReallyJesus 2020-01-28
if he OD's on coke snorted off his wife's ass; he'll still die snorting coke out a prosti's ass
1 OniTan 2020-01-28
The day, the basketball, died.
1 ThugnificentBastard 2020-01-28
Helicopters are the new cocaine. Nigga, you can't even afford to die in such a luxurious manner.
1 PROLURKER69 2020-01-28
Why even live?
1 Michelanvalo 2020-01-28
There was a guy in Texas doing speed runs in Ford GT who died during one of them. I think he was doing something like 250MPH and lost control. Guy was in his late 70s or early 80s.
Seems pretty cool way to go out for me too
1 Kaiser-romulus 2020-01-28
๐๐๐๐๐๐. How did you come up with something so heckin funny ๐๐๐๐. Sportsball ๐๐๐ never heard that one before.
1 Shubard75 2020-01-28
Thank you, I try to be creative.
1 AnnArchist 2020-01-28
Heckin good mate.
1 OniTan 2020-01-28
He's one of those European guys who speaks English well enough to almost sound American.
1 ComedicSans 2020-01-28
So, barely?
1 DutchRight 2020-01-28
I to, am an Yuropean.
1 Ultrashitposter 2020-01-28
I mean, apehoop isnt really PC
1 zhcyiDnein 2020-01-28
Holy lel
1 Kaiser-romulus 2020-01-28
Iโm taking this line and making it my own
1 [deleted] 2020-01-28
[removed]
1 I_Shah 2020-01-28
Nobody would have given a shot even if Kobe was on the helicopter
1 ironicshitpostr 2020-01-28
Why couldnโt you have been one of them
1 N0wifiHERE 2020-01-28
Oh shut the fuck up dude. Kobe was a famous basketball player, he donated to multiple charities regularly and he was all about getting young black men to get out of a bad life and get in to professional sports. What the fuck did the other 5 people ever do? Plus they are probably being mourned by their families/friends. SIT THE FUCK DOWN OP.
1 Cynwit_2 2020-01-28
imagine if the most interesting thing about your death was someone elseโs death
1 [deleted] 2020-01-28
[deleted]
1 EgregiouslyMoronic 2020-01-28
I never heard of the guy so he couldn't have been that famous and besides, most people don't really like the blacks.
1 Eva_TryNotBeinRacist 2020-01-28
wasn't it 7 others?
1 Kiru-Kokujin58 2020-01-28
shows how little people care
1 a_jill_sandwich 2020-01-28
As opposed to the zero attention their deaths would have gotten if they hadn't died with Kobe Bryant?
1 cycophuk 2020-01-28
Imagine people being more sad that a rapist is dead over any of the other people that died.
1 ComedicSans 2020-01-28
There were 9 in the chopper. The only thing the media cared about was Kobe, his daughter, and then the fact that there were others (but who's counting?)
Imagine the sum total of your life being undercounted in a report about a basketballer's death.
2 Al-Farouq-Aminu 2020-01-28
Thatโs because kobe is the story. If they died in a helicopter crash but kobe wasnโt in it then we wouldnโt have heard of them in the first place.
1 wow___justwow 2020-01-28
c'mon now OP clearly stated 5 + 2.
Let's keep drama's academic reputation in shape.
1 ComedicSans 2020-01-28
Either interpretation is possible, and neither is correct. However I've tweaked it to reflect that.
1 SchnupfStaffel 2020-01-28
And yet, you are exploiting their deaths for internet points in a hate speech subreddit. Chad move!
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-28
This isn't a hate speech subreddit.
1 SchnupfStaffel 2020-01-28
But Barffinn ensured me multiple times this was a hate speech subreddit while I was eating xir ass!
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-28
ok
1 Platycel 2020-01-28
Then why am I here?
1 HodorTheDoorHolder_ 2020-01-28
To laugh and laugh and laugh
1 Pomodorodorodoro 2020-01-28
Hey if you can't slam with the best, then jam with the rest.
1 FlexualHealing 2020-01-28
Chuck get out of here
1 Frostfright 2020-01-28
Cursed Incan gold!
1 Potential_Job 2020-01-28
In a way it's a good thing. Who wants to see the names of dead family members plastered all over. At least this way the families can get some privacy
0 Nuremberg_ 2020-01-28
Maybe they shouldโve been famous