Imagine being one of the other five people who died in the helicopter crash

1  2020-01-28 by Shubard75

Nobody gives a single fuck that you're dead. Your tragic fiery gruesome demise is completely overshadowed by the fact that you died next to a popular sportsball player and his kid. Your own friends and family will probably skip your funeral to get drunk and party at the Kobe vigil. Even the ones who want to go will get stuck in the traffic backup. RIP

55 comments

No wonder you have an army of pretentious neckbeard losers following you around

Snapshots:

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X

Literally who?

Well, one of those people was his 13 year old daughter, so I'm sure she'll get considerable airtime at whatever putative funerary arrangements are made.

Is dying in a helicopter crash a cool way to die? Dying in a private jet crash is probably one of the coolest way to die but I'm not sure about helicopters.

ODing when snorting cocaine from a model's ass is definitely the coolest one, which is probably how McAfee will die anyway.

McAfee will go down in a gun fight or high speed chase. Something intensely violent.

McAfee will go down in a gun fight during a presidential debate

FTFY

Fuck me. This is what I need: McAfee knocking off all the other candidates in a live debate and then shooting up the crowd, a la McBain's standup comedy.

Can he be sworn in from prison?

That he started himself.

โ€œCorn pop? Is corn pop here?โ€ as McAfee pulls out a revolver following a Joe Biden ramble.

Nah. He'll just OD

Lol he's just going to OD alone and no one will give a shit

No

How dare you imply McAfee is not a committed husband

if he OD's on coke snorted off his wife's ass; he'll still die snorting coke out a prosti's ass

The day, the basketball, died.

Helicopters are the new cocaine. Nigga, you can't even afford to die in such a luxurious manner.

Why even live?

There was a guy in Texas doing speed runs in Ford GT who died during one of them. I think he was doing something like 250MPH and lost control. Guy was in his late 70s or early 80s.

Seems pretty cool way to go out for me too

sportsball

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. How did you come up with something so heckin funny ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Sportsball ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ never heard that one before.

Thank you, I try to be creative.

Heckin good mate.

He's one of those European guys who speaks English well enough to almost sound American.

So, barely?

I to, am an Yuropean.

I mean, apehoop isnt really PC

Holy lel

Iโ€™m taking this line and making it my own

[removed]

Nobody would have given a shot even if Kobe was on the helicopter

Why couldnโ€™t you have been one of them

Oh shut the fuck up dude. Kobe was a famous basketball player, he donated to multiple charities regularly and he was all about getting young black men to get out of a bad life and get in to professional sports. What the fuck did the other 5 people ever do? Plus they are probably being mourned by their families/friends. SIT THE FUCK DOWN OP.

imagine if the most interesting thing about your death was someone elseโ€™s death

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I never heard of the guy so he couldn't have been that famous and besides, most people don't really like the blacks.

wasn't it 7 others?

shows how little people care

As opposed to the zero attention their deaths would have gotten if they hadn't died with Kobe Bryant?

Imagine people being more sad that a rapist is dead over any of the other people that died.

There were 9 in the chopper. The only thing the media cared about was Kobe, his daughter, and then the fact that there were others (but who's counting?)

Imagine the sum total of your life being undercounted in a report about a basketballer's death.

Thatโ€™s because kobe is the story. If they died in a helicopter crash but kobe wasnโ€™t in it then we wouldnโ€™t have heard of them in the first place.

not 6

c'mon now OP clearly stated 5 + 2.

you died next to a popular sportsball player and his kid

Let's keep drama's academic reputation in shape.

clearly

Either interpretation is possible, and neither is correct. However I've tweaked it to reflect that.

And yet, you are exploiting their deaths for internet points in a hate speech subreddit. Chad move!

This isn't a hate speech subreddit.

But Barffinn ensured me multiple times this was a hate speech subreddit while I was eating xir ass!

ok

Then why am I here?

To laugh and laugh and laugh

Hey if you can't slam with the best, then jam with the rest.

Chuck get out of here

Cursed Incan gold!

In a way it's a good thing. Who wants to see the names of dead family members plastered all over. At least this way the families can get some privacy

Maybe they shouldโ€™ve been famous