Last Friday some major stock indexes started dropping. Dow Jones dropped 2.5%, the S&P 500 dropped a bit less but it still dropped. Coronavirus came to the US, foreign markets all dropped between 2% and 4%, and the 10 year treasury return almost went below one. The market’s looking a lot like it did before Black Monday, so fears of a recession are ripe. Many autists known as 🌈🐻 place puts, but a couple bulls have faith the market will rally and choose not to. The market closed at 4:00, leaving everyone speculating for the weekend.

Sunday night and shit gets serious. Monday is set to be one of the highest trading days in a decade. Bulls and bears c-slur and s-slur alike, each autistically pointing at futures, rate cuts and coronavirus cases. Plenty of “bulls r fucked” and “bears r fucked”. Other autists bet on volatility (VIX and theta). Regulars bitch and call for bans. Most of the drama is in the general, but one famous user makes a high effort gif and another retard bets the better part of a million dollars.

The markets open Monday at 9:30, and shit’s looking very green. Recession averted, for now. Bears got fucked, especially the dumb ones who placed short term puts, so expect some major losses to be posted later today. But neither they nor the bulls on WSB can exercise their options because Robinhood breaks! It’s been down for over two hours now. Bonus c-slur and s-slur here and here.

Tl;dr Retards lose money, then more lose money because their free app breaks