The Parable of The Monkeys.

124  2020-04-12 by SandorClegane_AMA

Psychology experiment. Put 20 monkeys in a cage. There is a bright red button. First curious monkey pressed the button.

Button is wired to a fire extinguisher in the ceiling. All the monkeys gets soaked with cold water and freak out. 15 minutes later, another monkey tries the button again. Same result. Monkeys lose their shit.

No monkey will go near the button. One monkey is replaced. New monkey is curious and approaches the button. Other monkeys immediately attack the newbie. He is scared straight and stays well away from the button thereafter.

Researchers disconnect the fire extinguisher from the button. Keep replacing monkeys. Now we have 20 new monkeys. None of the original monkeys who remembers the soakings is left in the cage. Yet they still freak out if anyone goes near the button. And that's the story of why /r/Drama is moderated the way it is.

50 comments

1  SnapshillBot 2020-04-12

Are you black or something? Why do you think fathers don't exist?

Snapshots:

  1. The Parable of The Monkeys. - archive.org, archive.today

  2. /r/Drama - archive.org, archive.today*

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1  Depidio 2020-04-12

talking about black people

post is about monkeys

Holy fucking shit

1  GeminiRocket 2020-04-12

I don't get it 🙉

1  Shitposting_Skeleton 2020-04-12

The button is the god-given right for us to ping users.

1  Bummunism 2020-04-12

The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away.

1  Incog_Niko 2020-04-12

Let's unironically ping someone. Go on, someone do it!

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

And yet, the most wide-eyed student was the wisest of them all.

With his emoji, he demonstrated that he embodied the parable. But he lacked the vanity to pretend that it is possible to understand anything.

I have spoken.

1  [deleted] 2020-04-12

[removed]

1  The_Great_I_Am_Not 2020-04-12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no_elVGGgW8

1  The_Homocracy 2020-04-12

So what you're saying is don't fuckin press the button?

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

My koans do not tell you what to believe. They tell you what you believe.

So it does not matter what interpretation you ask me to confirm. The answer is always ‘Yes.’

1  The_Homocracy 2020-04-12

So press the button? I'm so confused

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

Also ‘Yes.’

1  CantWakeUpJPG 2020-04-12

As a dramacel, is our God-given right to annoy as many people as possibke, so press it.

1  The_Homocracy 2020-04-12

I pressed the button and some asshole sprayed me with cold water! That was after some crazy jannies jumped me for no reason! You guys suck!

1  SJCards 2020-04-12

Jannies deserved 9/11 😎🕋☪️

1  The_Homocracy 2020-04-12

Excuse me but we're not all jews

1  SJCards 2020-04-12

Only the good ones... 🥺

1  The_Homocracy 2020-04-12

Annoys is one of the good ones for sure

1  TaysSecondGussy 2020-04-12

Oil for the dharma. The chilling water was as rain to the desert of your understanding. Sit with this until it fades.

1  [deleted] 2020-04-12

[removed]

1  AutoModerator 2020-04-12

Hi PizzaWasRiteAbtWomen!

This is libel, and harassment - a civil tort, and a violation of the Reddit Content Policies.

The comment has been reported to Reddit administration. You have been banned from this subreddit. I reserve the right to sue you to reclaim damages to my reputation, and to pursue criminal charges against you. Reddit is likely to suspend your account.

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1  PizzaWasRiteAbtWomen 2020-04-12

Very good metaphor Sandor. To all you rslurs out there who don’t understand: m0ds have been soaked by admin cum before, they know what rustles their jimmies, so if you get b& or have posts removed it’s not because they care about the content, it’s because the admins do. Other than JC. He’ll ban you for posting anything negative about tr*ids 👨👗

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

There are no incorrect interpretations.

I repeat: My koans do not tell you what to believe. They tell you what you believe.

1  TheLordHighExecu 2020-04-12

i use ruby koans to learn to code

1  ironicshitpostr 2020-04-12

webshit get out

1  isitrlythough 2020-04-12

anything negative about tr*ids 👨👗

1  Incog_Niko 2020-04-12

Is it possible to post anything truthful about tro¡ds that isn't negative?

1  PizzaWasRiteAbtWomen 2020-04-12

No

1  Incog_Niko 2020-04-12

Based.

1  dogDroolsCatsRules 2020-04-12

They are better than biofoids.

1  Tagesausbruch 2020-04-12

She :)

1  TaysSecondGussy 2020-04-12

Brown-noser. 🏃🏻‍♀️💨👃🏼😩

She won’t mod you for this bro.

1  Tagesausbruch 2020-04-12

I have no interest in modding this hellpit :)

1  eaturliver 2020-04-12

Yo this dude wants to press the button, let's kick his ass!

1  [deleted] 2020-04-12

[removed]

1  AutoModerator 2020-04-12

Hi fuckdagger!

This is libel, and harassment - a civil tort, and a violation of the Reddit Content Policies.

The comment has been reported to Reddit administration. You have been banned from this subreddit. I reserve the right to sue you to reclaim damages to my reputation, and to pursue criminal charges against you. Reddit is likely to suspend your account.

Goodbye.

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1  YHofSuburbia 2020-04-12

Until the monkeys gain enough intelligence to realize how they have nothing to lose but their chains and so start a violent revolution to exact revenge upon former oppressors and taste the sweet, sweet nectar of freedom

1  Comrade_Natalie 2020-04-12

This but unironically 🐒🍆💦

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

Reminded me of the tale of the drowned ones, who saw salvation in a special boat, but they spelt it with a 'V' instead of a 'B'.

1  [deleted] 2020-04-12

[removed]

1  MadBroChill 2020-04-12

I think I've seen this exact same comment posted verbatim elsewhere on r*ddit, except it was either on latestagecapi-slur about landlxrds, or maybe on a news sub about a burger chain raising the price of their combo meal by $0.15. Can't remember for sure.

proletariat gang rise up 👨‍🔧

1  Incog_Niko 2020-04-12

Fuck the proles. Proles are a bunch of whiny cunts who have never read economic theory nor studied economics.

1  MadBroChill 2020-04-12

Our advanced machine learning algorithm has detected that this comment may violate reddits rule against agendaposting. This comment was flagged as potentially containing content which could discourage a reasonable person from participating in p*litical d*scussion on Reddit because it contained a completely r-slur hot take.

This instance will be recorded, and repeated offenses could result in your account being banned from r/drama or suspended from Reddit. If you are looking for a similar sub to r/drama where agendaposting is more tolerated, check out /r/politicalhumor. If you would like to use your agendas in a purely illustrative context, type the first letter of your entire post and then "-slur", or replace all of the words in the post with a *. Thank you for your understanding, and have a pleasant day.

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1  Still_Mountain 2020-04-12

🐒💩

1  DFNIckS 2020-04-12

Please let me be approved if this place goes private again

1  SandorClegane_AMA 2020-04-12

This place is more useless that /r/CenturyClub when it is set private.

It's only a place you might want to be because you cannot.

To smooth out the transition, the mods made the sub practically unusable with automoderator rules so it did not suddenly become an interesting subreddit all at one.

1  DFNIckS 2020-04-12

Yeah I just realized my comment hasn't been deleted for emoji violation yet🙄

1  Enrico_Motassa 2020-04-12

Psychology 🔬. Put 20 🙈 in 🅰️ cage. There is 🅰️ bright 👹 ⚫. First curious 🙈 pressed the ⚫. ⚫ is wired to 🅰️ 🔥 extinguisher in the ceiling. All the 🙈 🉐 soaked with ❄️ 💧 and freak out. 15 minutes later, another 🙈 tries the ⚫ again. Same result. 🙈 lose their 💩. 😣 🙈 will go near the ⚫. 1️⃣ 🙈 is replaced. 🆕 🙈 is curious and approaches the ⚫. Other 🙈 immediately 👊 the newbie. He is 😨 straight and stays well away from the ⚫ thereafter.

Researchers disconnect the 🔥 extinguisher from the ⚫. Keep replacing 🙈. Now we have 20 🆕 🙈. None of the original 🙈 who remembers the soakings is in the cage. Yet they still freak out if anyone goes near the ⚫. And that's the story of why /r/Drama is moderated the way it is.

1  Elite_AI 2020-04-12

this is about emojis isn't it

1  [deleted] 2020-04-12

[removed]

1  Wraith_GraveSpell 2020-04-12

SO DOES THAT MEAN NO MORE EMOJIS

1  onetenth 2020-04-12

Hey, if you explain how it's done, I will cyber-beat the ever-loving shit out any monkey you want.

🙈🏏

1  straycatstrut_ 2020-04-12

Have I ever told you the story of the coconut and the banana?

1  Prometheus_Ubergod 2020-04-12

REMOVED - pls post something dedicated to this sub.