Last year when I turned thirty, my wife and mother threw me a massive Harry Potter themed surprise party. My mom and sisters made wands for each of the guests, they strung hundreds of candle lights on fish line through the trees so they looked like they were floating, tables were set up with each house's banner that my mom sewed, the cooler was stocked with three broomsticks butterbeer, and they bought one of those electronic sorting hats. The backyard/field (my parents live on 3.5 acres) was blocked off by a wall of plastic painted to look like brick and had platform 9 3/4s written on it in giant letters that I had to run through, and all of my gifts were Harry Potter themed. My sister made me an amazing cake that looked like a spell book with a golden snitch on top. Needless to say...it was freaking awesome and you bet Harry Potter played a giant role in my life.

Fucking pathetic. Having birthday parties in your 30's at all is reprehensible, but having a themed children's party? How do these people not see how disgusting they are?

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Well I have powerful reddit-mod friends, why else would I have this username? You'd better watch out friendo, never know when you'll get banned for life because I'm super powerful...

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we named our dog and daughter after characters

Peak reddit moment lmao

i see your peak reddit moment and raise you

my dog is granger, and I won't say my daughter's name just because I've hinted at my last name in the past and my daughter isn't the only family member with her name. Apparently a cousin named her kid the same right around the same time.

A HECKIN WHOLESOME KEANU MOMENT

t because I've hinted at my last name in the past

God help the world if someone finds out this persons last name!!! Such important information should be protected because obviously people are following every comment it makes and trying to piece together the puzzle of its identity.

Narcissism and needless information. Corny ass redditors

Don’t downplay the hate speech and very real death threats these brave redditors receive every day from people like us.

We can't behave.

that is just breathtaking

I am filled with hate.

I found the Slytherin boys. Get your spells ready.

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Idk could it be that he married his cousin?

Uhhh he’s probably an international spy. Don’t want to give the cia and Interpol too many clues 🕶

Oh wow the whole family is g4y. My rule of thumb for rslurs like this is as soon as they mention they have a daughter, I immediately dismiss everything they say. Could you imagine being that cvked lmao 😂

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Imagine growing up named Hermoine or Bellatrix or Luna or Nymphadora.

I had to look up the last 3, fuck you before you try to get at me.

That rhymes. Please do rap.

Yeah, motherf-slur
Sup, n-slur
Gangsta Rap, n-slur
N-slur

N-slur, n-slur, n-slur, n-slur, n-slur, n-slur, n-slur
I'm one-hundred-percent n-slur

Sorry I can't hear you past the mumble rap ._.

What a bunch of fucking losers. How do these people have friends irl? How do they get married?

when I imagine a redditor it’s one the pseudo intellectuals from high school that were obsessed with anime and never got invited to anything outside of school

How do they get married?

With harry potter themes <vomit>

How do they get married?

Found this yesterday

https://imgur.com/a/hQoagF7/

Yikes!

they find other people like them. i saw this nerd couple the other day while i was out with my dog. they both walked the exact same way, all jaunty with their feet pointed out at that awkward nerd angle. like, how the fuck does personality translate directly to the way a person walks?

What a bunch of fucking losers. How do these people have friends irl? How do they get married?

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Seriously?

post again

As long as his daughter's father is OK with it

He did have sex and breed, which puts him in the top 1% of Redditors tbqhf

You think the kid is actually his?

I couldn’t even bother reading anymore after that it basically summed up the whole thread

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They really think they're going to stop Drumpf huh 🤔

That’s not that bad if a thing to do. If your naming your dogs after wand shut characters that’s lame, but characters from more age appropriate media is okay. At least they didn’t name their kids after wandshit characters.

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I like how he put his dog before his daughters. Dogpill dogwhistle.

playing make believe as an adult is a perfectly respectable pastime.

These are the people calling you a shitlord or whatever.

those books are fun as fuck.

I love that we HP fans are old enough to swear now. Makes talking about them much more colorful lol

Holy s-slur this hugbox is embarrassing. Why are these alleged adults bragging about being able to use naughty words to describe their favorite fictional universe? Do they all suffer from an endocrine deficiency?

Imagine thinking swearing makes you an adult, but reading books your age doesn’t

It's literally a child's conception of what being an adult is like. you still watch kids show and play nintendo but now you drive a car and swear and all those cool adulting things! The internet made it so these people never had to grow up.

You forgot drinking and smoking weed on that list. Reddit idea of being an adult is privileges and freedom when being an adult is way more about responsibility and becoming into your own person

I swore like a sailor when I was 12 because i thought it made you cool. Did these goys never swear when mommy wasn't around?

don't you know it's 2020, nobody is allowed to make value judgements about anything anymore, everything is equally good and equally bad. if someone's mental health is so poor that they are regressing into their childhood as a defense mechanism then who are you to judge. what, you think they should get help or something? wow, mind your own business and leave them alone, I'm sure they'll be fine! now if you don't mind, it's time for me to post pics of my "Battlestation" full of dumb funko pops and pokemon and legos and comic books and replica lightsabers and other dumb shit made for 13 year olds, I can afford all this junk because I'm a STEM major and I work at a military company helping design the guidance systems on missiles that get dropped on brown children that are about the same age I was when I got to enjoy all this stuff. the bacon narwhals at midnight, epic bacon, cheers!

lmao, slaaaayyy king

Is that commenter really calling to gulag people that don’t enjoy Harry Potter 🤔

mayos

🤢

He wants to send them to Azkaban

I went back to school for a science.

This r*tard cant even write complete sentences. No wonder he likes H*rry P*tter.

Whatever happened to shame? You should be ashamed to be gleefully reading books written for little kids as an adult. Insofar as reddit brings together the hollow individuals who do this and emboldens them to act like there's nothing wrong with their behavior it deserves to be destroyed.

Shame is dead, now everybody compulsively overshares about their embarrasing hobby/fetish/life on the internet

I miss Chan culture so fucking much. When can we all get back to hiding out powerlevels

It's only reddit. I never meet a adult that enjoys reading Harry Potter books.

Most people probably like them, they're literally the most popular books of all time besides the Bible. It's ok and normal to enjoy dumb shit as an adult because real life is so heavy. Imagine only reading investment strategy and philosophy books. It becomes grating and irritating when these socially inept losers make it their identity and pretend that a fictional book about teenagers with wands has any meaning beyond fantasizing about wearing an invisibility cloak in the girls locker room.

They are kids books. Really boring shit. Honestly only reason people still pretend they like them is nostalgia goggles.

Not gonna argue with you there. I hate Harry Potter nerds, but then I generally hate all nerds that aren't well rounded people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZEdDMQZaCU

How I feel every time AHS drama is posted.

Shame is dead because the magic of the internet allows spectrum-folk to find one another to communally sp*rgout

Honestly the really shameful part is making kid's book series such an integral part of your personality. I think it's normal to still be nostalgic for certain parts of your childhood but holy f*ck have some interests that don't revolve around obsessive consumption of pop culture. It's like if you grew up in the 80s and named your kid Pog.

They're attracted to YA novels because any sort of complexity regarding motivations and emotions is yelled in your face by the narrator or characters themselves.

Also the whole social message of those books was "you and your friends are special and right about things, all of the people you don't get along with are evil r@cists who must be opposed at all costs, and everybody in the adult world is either 1000% supportive of you or they're a worthless hypocrite"

Can't imagine what your average r*dditor might relate to in a book like that

Which is fine because it's a children's book and tons of fantasy/sci-fi books very commonly have that message. It's only a problem if you give that shit more intellectual weight than it deserves.

I'll fully admit I read the books and watched the movies as a kid.

There are parts in the series that get more morally ambiguous, especially with shit like Dumbledor more or less raising Harry only to sacrifice him or the part when Harry basically almost murders Malfoy and leaves him dying in a puddle of his own blood.

There may be more but I haven't seen or read them in probably close to 10 years now, so that's all I remember. I also remember that these moments weren't focused on as much as they should have been and the fanbase never talks about them because ambiguity = bad.

When I was a literal child, I read books based on Halo. Even at that age I hid their covers whenever I was around other people.

I came here for drama, not culturally malnourished adults all agreeing that they in fact don’t need to read another book and the literal children’s book they re-read at least once a year (actually in the thread smh) is good and relevant to adult life.

That thread is just depressing and pathetic.

If you can't enjoy Harry Potter you are the problem.

Lmao Jesus Christ

When my dumbfuck blonde mayo becky therapist asked me to take the briggs-meyer personality test I told her I took it and it said I would be placed in House Ravenclaw.

What an empty, worthless life they must have.

/r/drama regular throwing shade at anyone

At least I have the good sense not to tell my real-life acquaintances that I browse /r/drama.

my boss who is actually quite cool and rational said she briefly thought about making her wedding “the office” themed. I wanted to tell her that it’s pathetic to base huge milestones in your life off of tv shows and pop culture but i didn’t want to ruin our professional relationship.

that sub is absolute dogshit

It's just AOC tweets and the like at this point.

Almost all of the “murders” are words words words in response to low effort shitposts that made them seethe.

So it's actually people losing their spaghetti in response to being murdered by words.

It's no longer about witty/scathing insults. The posts feel like rants that many redditors imagine throwing against people they disagree with irl while everyone claps.

Orange man bad, you vote orange man you bad too. Me intellectual.

Thats murderbywords. Thats the whole sub.

“Blumpf”

Upvotes to the weast

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Faggot

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While Roger Ebert said this about starshit fans, I feel it applies equally to wandshitters as well.

A lot of fans are basically fans of fandom itself. It's all about them. They have mastered the "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" universes or whatever, but their objects of veneration are useful mainly as a backdrop to their own devotion. Anyone who would camp out in a tent on the sidewalk for weeks in order to be first in line for a movie is more into camping on the sidewalk than movies.

Extreme fandom may serve as a security blanket for the socially inept, who use its extreme structure as a substitute for social skills. If you are Luke Skywalker and she is Princess Leia, you already know what to say to each other, which is so much safer than having to ad-lib it. Your fannish obsession is your beard. If you know absolutely all the trivia about your cubbyhole of pop culture, it saves you from having to know anything about anything else. That's why it's excruciatingly boring to talk to such people: They're always asking you questions they know the answer to.

lmao I can only imagine all the smug "hurr Luke and Leia are siblings" responses this statement provoked by the manchildren he triggered.

Roger Ebert was extraordinarily based and I'm sad that we never got to see what he would have to say about what Disney/Harry Potter/Star Wars/Capeshit fandom has become in recent years.

Perma Smile man is also based?

One of my fave reads lol

Based cancer patient

Based beyond words

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Have a gold for being an absolute manchild, you will be welcome with open arms in the reddit gold lounge

esto es autismo intenso

I have listened to the audio books read by Stephen Fry about 5 times each already and now that I know the inner workings of the wizarding world I understand the story and the characters way better than the first time reading them, I too can confirm that they are fun as fuck.

How do people say this shit unironically

I hate that these f-slurs don't feel ashamed, it annoys me that they don't hate themselves.

I first read them a couple years ago in my early forties. They were recommended to me by my parents (in their seventies). I usually read them at least once a year. I can confirm that they are fun as fuck.

Of course a man(?) in his forties who reads Harry Potter every year says things like "can confirm" and "fun as fuck".

Firstly, that's not a murder by words. If someone said that to me the worst crime I could accuse them of is indecent exposure i.e. exposing what a fucking dork they are lmfao

Secondly:

I love that we HP fans are old enough to swear now. Makes talking about them much more colorful lol

You fucking poofter mate.

That sub should be called SmugScolding

r/PatronisedByALeftoid lmao

I was distraught when Kat_b0t told us you were dead BTW. Big fan.

Thank you for your support!

Thats the first time I've seen proofter used on reddit. No one says it anymore and it makes me sad.

It's a good word.

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The odds that that person owns one of these mugs has to be astronomical.

You w@t mate?

Never ask a Harry Potter Stan about all the date rape in the books.🤢

Wait, what? Now I'm going to have to read Harry Potter

No don't

Voldemort’s mom raped his dad for years yeah

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I'm fine with people liking Harry Potter at any age, but I didn't think the series was great.

I think the books are legitimately good for what they are. I enjoyed reading them as a kid and have no real desire to revisit them lol

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virgin harry potter vs CHAD Earthsea

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those books are fun as fuck.

I love that we HP fans are old enough to swear now. Makes talking about them much more colorful lol

Well, I'll be damned. Not a single mention of that trite C.S. Lewis quote that people use to justify their stunted childhoods.

True literature heads read Diary of a Wimpy Kid

This but unironically

Playing make believe as an adult is a perfectly respectable pastime

lol

Fuck normal reddit is such a sad collection of all the biggest losers on the planet.

Yes, they are children's books. But they are good children's books.

Lol no they're not. As far as children's books go, HP is average. Good children's books are things like Discworld and the Neverending Story. HP is the videogame tie-in novel of children's books.

Nerd culture was a mistake. Bring bullying back to our schools.