NYC Shoppers Profile, kinda like the Onion.

1  2020-04-29 by Hermaphroshep

11 comments

I always enjoyed how online quizzes are great for phishing and they still work too.

I think I am ready for the chappo revolution now.

I never thought I would say that.

The chapoids shop at every store on this list you dingus

Sure...whatever. That is important...

I never knew there were so many grocery store brands in NYC.

It's cause there's fucking one of each of them and no more. Place is a god damned shithole.

that's pretty spot on actually...

For me ?

It's whole food. As a mayo king 👑 I like being served fresh organic products by wage slaves workers with an immigration background. I vote republican since 1984 of course 😎

Charlotte, NC:

-Harris Teeter: you are unaware there are other grocery stores. You only came to get a bottle of wine and somehow still spent $120 on 6 things.
-Aldi: you are either an immigrant, on food stamps or a 20 something who cannot afford both her hot yoga class and cell phone bill unless she shops here
-Food Lion: frazzled soccer mom who is either a teacher or a receptionist at a dentist’s office.
-Target grocery: you are only here to pick up food to binge on on your way home from a bar in plaza midwood.
-Whole Foods: you are here to pretend you are healthy. You have a nasty drinking problem, don’t actually exercise and aren’t even buying produce, just pre-made food from the bar. You are also hoping to hit on someone.
-Trader Joe’s: you aren’t rich enough for Whole Foods, you have scratched at least 3 other cars in the parking lot.

[deleted]

I am the Bodega