Energy Clusters? What?

these?

Idk man the zoomers are too chaotic to follow

Ah I get it now. They must've been so excited when they thought they found a suitcase filled with granola clusters. Unfortunately it was just not to be, would've been enough for everyone

I wonder how many bites they took before they realized it ?

Zoomer game shit. I think.

They were randonauting

I know this doesn't make it less confusing but it's a thing

*Here's a second TikTok they did of them waiting three hours for police while some contents of the suitcase get washed away

Today was the day I became a boomer

That's some monkey's paw shit.

What about this is "monkey's paw"?

You want to find money but instead of the coordinates generator taking you somewhere with a $20 bill on the ground, it shows you a house to burgle. You can take it as *~the universe~* joking around or it trying to set you up to get shot/go to jail because your dumb ass broke into an occupied house.

That's not monkey paw tho. They can choose to walk away from the site. The monkey paw gives no takes backsies.

Hmmm ok, how about evil genie fulfilling a wish?

Trickster spirit.That's my final offer.

The djinn is an evil being that should be given no thought by the faithful.

[deleted]

Is randonauting just wandering around aimlessly with the intention of finding something and recording it? That's just taking a walk with a dash of narcissism, fucking zoomers

Tiktok is another reason China was a mistake.

So a perfect zoomer activity.

Wow Snally, did you wake up on the angry boomer side of the bed this morning? 🤭

What I gather is it's some bizarre mix of geocaching, occultism, and your beloved Pokeman Go.

I mean, it does sound kind of fun unless it is just walking around with a vague 'law of attraction intention', in which case it's just a walk!

Wow, zoomers are trying really hard to become bigger failures than millenials...

If this is the "Ingress" game the title said it was, then I work with a guy who's hardcore into it. He talks about it all the time even when we tell him that we don't care. I guess it's basically like that Pokemon Go game, except you compete against other people. You have to go to places on a map to go through "portals" before the other team does or something like that. Maybe energy clusters are needed for those portals.

It sounds a lot like a hobby for people who don't fuck.

Can you add new 'portals' that are also on major highways or railroad switching yards?

The only portal I'm coming in is a birth canal, preferably your mom's or sister's, not my mom's or sister's though

I don't think that's how sex works.

I don't think that's how sex works.

Imagine being a virgin and saying this to someone who has had sex several times

how many times?

4.6

Like how many times I've been inside a pussy? 2 words for you: rent free

This was good and you deserve a reply for it.

Pokémon Go without the Pokémon.

It’s the same app developer

Tik Tok is the future.

I can only confidently guarantee that the prostitute you end up making tender love to (lol) will shower longer than she usually does after your 5 shameful minutes of disappointing her

Snapshots:

1. Apparently the dead body in seattle... - archive.org, archive.today

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Go @ughenry!

The very end of the video is stirring some zoomercidal thoughts in me

You’ve become so numb to Tiktok that you don’t feel that until the end of the clips.

Lmao people still play Ingress? That shit is a fossil by mobile game standards

Actually true, pokemon go is huge wasted potential

A better joke than Hillary's.

Hillary is not a joke.

Screenshot this.

Isn't ti the Pokémon go predecessor?

The Internet should have stayed restricted to academic discussions. Day of the cut fiber cable when?

Stand by Me 2020

Modern day stand by me

Future nurses

not even Pokémon Go