Maybe, but as a regular liberal/Democrat, I feel the need to say SRD hasn't been "like me" in years. Horrible woketards infestation since even before the election, so of course chapos are gonna be attracted
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that Iām a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then itās time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you ā yes, specifically you ā is obviously my first priorityā¦ but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything thatās even tangentially related to what theyāve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the siteās executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I donāt actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parentsā basement would mean that I wouldnāt get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures ā using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue ā of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once Iāve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual usersā days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if Iām going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat ā which is a trilby, of course ā and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
Itās time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. Sheāll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Donāt ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because Iāll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, Iāve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters havenāt told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, theyāre only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything ā especially if itās entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier ā Iāll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, itās the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You donāt need to read this, because youāve already decided that you know it all.
It makes me think of a sickly skinny, pale college kid. Last year he was alt right, this year he's a wokie, next year he'll flip back, the year after that he'll do it again, and eventually when he's like 26 or so he'll just be a normal person and stop treating fringe, revolutionary political stances like confessional religions.
Calling it the worst self-own is def hyperbole, but it does make me immediately assume that the person using it puts way too much self-identity into their political opinions and has adopted them as an extreme aesthetic. Looks to be the case with the chap in the linked thread too.
31 comments
1 AutoModerator 2020-07-02
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4 reseteros 2020-07-02
You're years too late on that one, buddy. Now it's about calling out problematic CHUDS
4 Corporal-Hicks 2020-07-02
saying chud unironically is cringe tho
6 Arrrdune 2020-07-02
Of course, but I'm impressed at the level of push back. Even for SRD, it's impressive
Bonus points for the guy who implies that if you think chud is gay, you have to not only be a conservative, but also racist.
3 tHeSiD 2020-07-02
They seem to have a chapofugee problem, aren't most of them neo/radlibs?
5 tenebrous_cloud 2020-07-02
They didn't put up a wall and they're reaping the benefits
5 tHeSiD 2020-07-02
I hope the chapos overpower the š and make admins š„« them inshallah
3 ReddneckwithaD 2020-07-02
They're shitlibs, walls and immigration restrictions are heresy to them
4 Arrrdune 2020-07-02
Maybe, but as a regular liberal/Democrat, I feel the need to say SRD hasn't been "like me" in years. Horrible woketards infestation since even before the election, so of course chapos are gonna be attracted
3 tHeSiD 2020-07-02
Oh yeah I know, I have seen the change happen
2 -Jenkem_Huffer- 2020-07-02
They do not have any other insult left lol that's the last one idpol allows them to use
1 GaysianSupremacist 2020-07-02
Also reactionary, but it's pretty much as lame as chud.
1 Enrico_Motassa 2020-07-02
it really is
looks like we know where the chapos have diaspora'd to
3 iamjustaholesir 2020-07-02
Stupidpol too. Their outright seethe among even fellow lefties could be used to power an electrical grid.
1 RIPGeorgeHarrison 2020-07-02
Itās a terrible insult, because no one cares if they got called a chud lol.
3 GeauxHouston22 2020-07-02
debating whether or not using the term CHUD is a self-own smh GET A JOB
2 ponypopper 2020-07-02
Good morning.
1 SnapshillBot 2020-07-02
Damn, you know what?
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that Iām a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then itās time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you ā yes, specifically you ā is obviously my first priorityā¦ but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything thatās even tangentially related to what theyāve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the siteās executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I donāt actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parentsā basement would mean that I wouldnāt get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures ā using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue ā of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once Iāve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual usersā days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if Iām going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat ā which is a trilby, of course ā and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
Itās time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. Sheāll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Donāt ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because Iāll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, Iāve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters havenāt told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, theyāre only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything ā especially if itās entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier ā Iāll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, itās the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You donāt need to read this, because youāve already decided that you know it all.
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
1 Enrico_Motassa 2020-07-02
stay salty srdines
1 [deleted] 2020-07-02
[removed]
1 SamManilla 2020-07-02
Am I wrong in assuming this has nothing to do with the movie, C.H.U.D.?
1 ExilesReturn 2020-07-02
I think that is where the CTH podcast originally got the word.
1 SetSneedToFeed 2020-07-02
Nothing says class solidarity like dabbing on homeless people.
1 trapochaphouse 2020-07-02
SRD should have been one of the 2000.
1 Qwagsoir 2020-07-02
Day of the can when
1 Osterion 2020-07-02
Apparently pz myers is still alive š
1 Nom_Chompy 2020-07-02
chef's kiss
1 The_Homocracy 2020-07-02
Snappy please
1 ToonamiWasted 2020-07-02
FUCKIN' WORDS WORDS WORDS!!!
1 contentedserf 2020-07-02
u/ free_energie is absolutely based