Dude babylon bee has always been great, but they've literally had their finger on the pulse the last few weeks/months. This is fuckin hilarious and 100% on point.

"Hey if you don't like being banned, start your own social media app"

> Conservatards start their own social media app

"Wait no not like that"

> Apple and Google use monopolistic power to shut down rightoid hug box

"Hey they're private companies they can do what they want"

So which is it?

Private companies can do what they want but monopolistic behavior is illegal and should actually be punished for once with crippling fines and dissolution if necessary. If we are the land of tough on crime let's apply that to the big boys too.

monopolistic behavior is illegal

Yeah by america doesn't enforce any laws against the turbo rich except the ones having to do with fucking children. And even those are enforced relatively loosely

See: senators doing insider trading right before covid, that one guy doing insider trader and making so much money he could buy the Mets, etc etc

Basically. That's why the liberals are always trying to create new laws, missing the problem, and conservatives always say we already have laws that cover this, also missing the problem

🐎👞 ✔

I can't believe someone typed "fucking children" and "relatively loosely" in two sentences and none of you have made any jokes about kiddie diddling.

That fruit was too low hanging.

hahah, dangly parts

dull

Would not say monopolistic behavior rather breach of contract. The Fact that they can suspend all services without notice or possibility of remedy is a problem. Which is one thing that amazon did to parlor.

I would say if you think that novel length TOS you sign doesnt give them the right to sew your mouth to the butthole of another itunss user you're kiddin yourself

Currently it is one sided. But lawsuit after a lawsuit force them to change them to more reasonable.

No more unilateral amendment so they can't just change the rules on the fly. Also foreign actors now dragging social media company into foreign jurisdictions where they cannot enjoy various US company protection.

The line that the courts wont breech is arbitration agreements which per scotus are to be enforced as written even if they contradict state law per Epic Systems and you can bet qny dispute you have with the company has an arbitration agreement slapped in as a result.

What monopolistic behavior? Who's the monopoly here?

I think my point is either there is anticompetitive behavior preventing a competitor to social media giants from rising, or the resulting centralization is a result of market forces and if they decide to evict you from their clubhouse tough titties go build your own.

I think there is a good argument payment processors act as a duopoly, I think ISPs act as a cartel, Google and Apple or the social media companies are a tougher calculus.

What if I want to create a social media for incest-lovers to discuss their lives and fantasies. It's not illegal for them to do that. But google, amazon, etc would still ban me because of society frowning on it and it negatively affecting their own image.

Free market at work tbh

If you hosted it on a spare computer in a closet and the ISP got upset about it, and it's not either hosting illegal content or directly causing illegal things IRL, you could in theory make a legal case against them.

But if you draft up a contract with them. Then they have follow the contract even in Free market.

What if I want to create a social media for incest-lovers to discuss their lives and fantasies

paging corporal hicks

Apple, Google, and AWS aren't out there to interdict Twitter competitors, they only benefit from multiple well-trafficked platforms arising.

Parler just became a liability, that's all.

It can be both. There's an obvious liberal leaning to major tech, both because they are based in major blue hubs and the people who operate them are very blue and because it's a sanitized, commercially friendly message right now. You were never going to have anyone majors going to bat for Parler so all they needed was an excuse. What will be really funny is the rightoids figure out a way to go outside the system and it gains mainstream appeal and popularity. The melt downs will be glorious at that point.

You are never going to have the majors going to bat for Parler for the same reason they won't go to bat for 8kun. Unmoderated communities are risky to work with for mainstream companies.

True, which is why I think you'll soon get social media for the 50s style, family friendly rightoids, instead of the libertarian, q, pedophile ones that will provide a counter to the crazy, hoe-driven degeneracy that is twitter. That version will have advertisers flocking because they know that there will be more middle to upper middle class people using it and that's who they can convince to go into debt. Twitter will be the edgy forum where you can say fuck and see girls from onlyfans advertise their tits. And it will go the way of myspace. Fuck, I hope this happens because I'd find it so funny.

Google, Apple, and AWS will be happy to host that service, which will make all the current salt being spilled by rightoids everywhere that much funnier.

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Apple, Google, and AWS aren't out there to interdict Twitter competitors

Yet they, along with Mastercard, keep doing so. Odd behavior for companies that aren't out to do that, wouldn't you say?

They're just limiting their exposure to a bad actor. If things worked like dumbass rightoids think they work, Twitter would have been killed in favor of facebook, Snapchat would have been killed in favor of insta, etc. These companies would benefit from Parler's growing popularity if they weren't worried about being tied to the next Gab-style joo shooter.

They're just limiting their exposure to a bad actor.

So they say, but they're doing so by doing the very thing you said they weren't doing.

Aside from asking Parler to moderate their content which they have been doing for some time, that's literally the only thing they can do.

Yes, they did the very thing you said they didn't, I'm glad we're on the same page.

We're not, because I'm talking about motivation, and you're talking about outcome.

I can demonstrate the outcome. The motivation isn't something you can prove. Just because someone says they did something for a certain reason doesn't mean that's why they did it. You just choose to believe what they say because then you get to have what you want without any troubling moral or ethical quandaries.

I'm not even listening to what they say, I know how this business works. Parler can put in a moderation policy and be back on AWS in a few days. They'll be happy to keep making money off them. Booting Parler costs AWS tons of money.

"Oh, I just know" isn't an argument any more than "they're not doing that" was. I know AWS lost tons of money, but not just from losing Parler's business. How many people cancelled their Prime subscriptions to show their distaste for Amazon's behavior?

lmao

Yes, your posts were laughable. I'm glad you were good enough to agree after I pointed that out to you. Good sportsmanship like that is hard to find.

I'm sure Bezos is crying.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/amazon-prime-member-total-reaches-142-million-in-u-s-with-more-shoppers-opting-in-for-a-full-year-data-shows-11611073132

CIRP estimates that there are 142 million Prime members in the U.S.

Does that agency really expect us to believe nearly 1 in 2 of every single person in the country, including minors, is registered for Prime?

Edit: Forgot about business accounts. Still seems high.

Amazon is absurdly dominant, and most US households have a prime membership.

It just hadn't occurred to me until now for some reason that a househood having a membership might now be more common than not; and every source seems to think that's the case. I legit thought it was at like 1 in 4 at most.

Even more mind-bogglingly dominant than I previously thought.

That's the year-end data from December, before they gave Parler the ol' heave-ho. Let's wait for 1^st quarter numbers and see what this debacle did to their numbers. It's not going to put a dent in knock-off Lex Luthor's billions no matter what. The kind of money he has makes money without him doing anything.

Prediction: absolutely nothing.

It's not gonna do shit lol, the average person doesn't even know what Parler is

After the last month I kinda doubt that.

I thought libertarioids were supposedly known for their consistency.

But muh kempane donashuns!

Private companies are cancer, change my view.

I have nothing whatsoever against rightoids starting their social networks, and nothing whatsoever against mainstream companies not wanting to do business with unmoderated communities. We've been down this road with 4chan, everyone knows where it's going.

We've been down this road with 8chan, the end is that the ground beneath your feet literally swallow you up if you actually try to build an alternative. I'm not even kidding that if you want to build an a tual dissident site at scale you probably need build chips from ore and sand in house, any interaction with a private company will have that company "pressured" by activists to not come within 100 feet of you,if they do they'll get blackballed.

and that's a good thing 💅🏿

This but unironically 💅🏿

My heart weeps for the weebs.

Judge just told Parler to go get fucked

Fucking lol Parler's lawyers are absolute r-slurs whining that Daddy Jeff didn't shut down Twitter when AWS doesn't even host them.

Wait so your complaint is that big companies make it too hard to start your own website where you can plot mass-shootings and insurrection against the lawful democratically-elected government?

This thread is way too full of seriousposts for my taste, but goddamn that's a hell of a take.

Anyway, fucking lern2code f-slurs. If journos and swedes can do it, so can you r-slurs.

Wait so your complaint is that big companies make it too hard to start your own website where you can plot mass-shootings and insurrection against the lawful democratically-elected government?

Or you know, discuss unionization, organize to reduce descrimination against my sexual orientation(animesexual) or just share my Muhammad fan art. You retards would look at a dead canary in a coal mine and insinuate that there is nothing to fear because we're not birds.

This thread is way too full of seriousposts for my taste, but goddamn that's a hell of a take.

Anyway, fucking lern2code f-slurs. If journos and swedes can do it, so can you r-slurs.

I earn 6 figures coding. Parler was, in fact, a total hack job but that's not the point. 8chan wasn't, and it didn't matter. Are you unable to imagine anytbing beyond first order effects?

Yeah, I probably wouldn't try to unionize FB employees on a FB group. I might use one of literally thousands of hosting services + a fucking phpBB install or whatever.

8chan only got the boot hard after several years and at least a couple mass shootings, and it's back up as 8kun anyway. Your slippery slope isn't very slanty if these are the best examples you can come up with.

4chan, the NZ farming site... the Daily Stormer is still up, for fuck's sake.

Look, I'm all for taking down Big Tech, but so far the rightoids are too stupid to realize that repealing section 230 and fighting against net neutrality only works against their supposed cause.

Yeah, I probably wouldn't try to unionize FB employees on a FB group. I might use one of literally thousands of hosting services + a fucking phpBB install or whatever.

It's a precedent for future abuse, the tech giants have gotten the public to accept that they can blacklist whoever they want at their own discretion. It's not just the facebook pages, it's stuff like ddos protection services and other internet foundational stuff that can make hosting anything dissident at scale nearly impossible.

8chan only got the boot hard after several years and at least a couple mass shootings, and it's back up as 8kun anyway. Your slippery slope isn't very slanty if these are the best examples you can come up with.

Look man, the hazard here isn't the type of thing that you want proof of before you start avoiding it. It's the type of trap that is difficult or impossible to get out of once you're in it. 8chan isn't concerning because it's a sympathetic group, it's concerning because it's proof that this kind of black holing is possible. It's a preposterous amount of power and power attracts people who abuse power. The whole fucking point of a slippery slope is to correct it before you slip.

Look, I'm all for taking down Big Tech, but so far the rightoids are too stupid to realize that repealing section 230 and fighting against net neutrality only works against their supposed cause.

I don't give half a fuck what rightoids think, it's become clear with the liberals that most allies against censorship are doing so selfishly and as soon as people get the ability to stomp out opposing speech they jump on it with the flimsiest justification.

It's a precedent for future abuse, the tech giants have gotten the public to accept that they can blacklist whoever they want at their own discretion.

They've already been doing that for fucking forever! This is just the first time you've noticed because they banned somebody you paid attention to.

This is comic is from like 2007.

stuff like ddos protection services and other internet foundational stuff

That kind of stuff should probably be regulated like a utility and nobody should be disconnected without due process. But I'm talking about like, access to DNS, or packet-routing. Having a goddamn twatter account is not a human right.

I'm talking about what happened to 8chan, not Trump's account. It's relevant because I want to make the argument that I can just go start his own twitter or whatever, but the ability to go start your own twitter or whatever is also being squashed so the argument doesn't come easily.

who's squashing it?

Several p2p alternatives to centralized services.

Twatter can ban whoever it wants, so can any company. Like, what's the alternative? Having the legal system involved so you can ban accounts? Impractical and unfeasible.

The internet is no right, merely an entertaining commodity.

I already covered this

The bee has had some funny ones the last few weeks but this one is dumb. Not close enough to reality.

These private companies aren't breaking any laws

The laws are rightoid feelings stinky lib

Starting your own app requires more than just an app. If a company doesn't want to be involved in enabling domestic terrorism, they don't have to be involved in it.

Either way, the entire premise of the conservative victimhood narrative is stupid because conservatives dominate social media as is.

Pizza why would I spend fifteen minutes arguing with you when I could just achieve the same effect by lobotomizing myself with a rusty fork in half that time?

Oh shit, this makes sense, I didn't realize this was his alt. I thought he disappeared never to return after we blasted that nasty ass picture of him tonguing some skank.

When the earth is but a desolate wasteland, only populated by the most durable species, and the oceans have all dried up and the last man has cried out in the night for the warmth a woman's bosom, only to lay his head in dirt.... Pizza will still be here posting. Forever posting.

Holy shit bro, get a load of these knee slappers:

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-to-be-sworn-in-on-copy-of-the-communist-manifesto

https://babylonbee.com/news/ultrasound-unable-to-detect-heartbeat-in-new-york-state-legislators

The only thing better than the fact the bee is very openly conservative propaganda trying to mask as satire, it's that this sub is so populated with people of low intelligence they fall for it.

Please tell me what there is to fall for pizza? I read it, I chuckled, and I moved on with my day instead of obsessing over it. It seems more like you "fell" for it than anyone else. Also, you really need to get some help, your tism is showing.

You fall for the notion the bee is anything other than crude conservative propaganda.

Lmao, no one is disputing you, they're just saying that it's funny. It's obvious that it's propaganda the same way it's obvious that you spout propaganda. Propaganda is most effective when it doesn't look like it, so most rational people chuckle at the funny headline and then never think about it again or put any stock in their points.

Actually, many people are disputing it bud.

Either way, it's still not funny. Just more conservative victimhood bullshit.

Anyone who can't tell that it's propaganda is a dumbass. I welcome the bee for it's obvious attempts. Around last year is when propaganda got so good that it was hard for me to tell. Now I prefer it out in the open so I can just ignore it.

Holy shit same. All these bad comments make sense now that I know it's pizza.

The most amazing thing about this post isn't that you thought P-Shilly could ever quit when Reddit arguments are his opium. The most amazing thing is that you found a picture of him swapping spit with a passing t-slur.

It was posted in the sidebar for a while, it's when I disabled the CSS. I think that was right before all the furry shit. It's probably floating around on one of the j@nnies secret masturbatory folders somewhere.

Edit: it was with powerofjerkoffmagic if you remember that annoying broad.

make this shit a snappy retort

Blackwater is a private company, they can do whatever they want. 😎

Monsanto is a private company, they can do whatever they want.

This but unironically

The bee has been killing it lately.

Not really, pretty much the same low-tier filth they've been producing for years.

Conservative propaganda masked as satire.

It's made me laugh more times than the onion lately. I remember they even went after their own with vaccines and pyramid schemes. Sounds like you're not being centrist enough.

I like the bee because it has made it really easy to spot ultra lefty dorks. The bee is funny, no matter what side you are on, unless you are some dork who is going to choose to hate them because they are conservative.

About 95% of what the bee produces is crude conservative propaganda.

Immunity to humor

Unbased l•ftoid wingcuck

Must be a day that ends in y

thinking propaganda is humor.

thinks someone explaining reality to them is leftoid.

Must be a day that ends in y.

Grrr you can’t make fun of us that’s propaganda 😡😡😡😡😡

What the fuck are they making fun of bro? They just say shit conservatives unironically believe.

For instance, the article above which is a humorous exaggeration of the “it’s a private company” opinion

L•ftoids should be covered under the ADA as comically disabled 😓😓😓

Are you living in some alternate reality bro? The left dominates comedy, there is literally not a single funny conservative.

Not fucking one. They're worse than women. The bee isn't any exception.

boomer bee is propaganda

how dare you imply I don’t have a sense of humor, my fellow l•ftoids are like, really funny!

yeah yeah ok

It fucking is propaganda you ape. Do you seriously think this is not conservative propaganda:

https://babylonbee.com/news/ultrasound-unable-to-detect-heartbeat-in-new-york-state-legislators

calling people heartless through a satire article is propaganda

good thing words don’t mean anything anymore, or else you might not have a point 😅😅😅

Idk who you think you're fooling here bud.

certainly not you, you fooled yourself long before I ever could

Honestly bro I see the error of my ways now. Posting low effort anti-lgbt propaganda and anti-abortion memes is totally satire and very based indeed.

boomer bee is propaganda 😡😡😡😡😡

ok boomer bee is not propaganda but actually is very unfunny and cringe 😡😡😡😡

ok it’s bad because it is low effort and not satire and very cringe

Yikes 😬😬😬😬

No, it's still propaganda bud.

repeating something and expecting it to be true

l•ftoid discourse in current year

Projection sure is funny.

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cmon man the bee has its moments

Progressives are the new right wing, get with the times old man.

A) I'm not a progressive.

B) What I said is completely correct. You being too low IQ to see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

No

zoz

zle

zozzle

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I love how this bot removes the post for a "bad word" then tells you about it by saying the word in question. Our mods are pretty clever considering their the sort of r-slurs that hang out in this sub.

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Conservative propaganda masked as satire.

Flip the political alignment the other way and you just described The Daily Show and every bit of derivative crap it spawned.

No, I really didn't. I get this is a cope conservatives have to engage in, but no, not even close.

Yeah, you did, but I look forward to twelve paragraphs of why it's OK for you to love the very shit you're crying about so long as it aligns with and confirms your various biases.

I've not even watched the daily show since they hired that dumb ass south African unfunny clown jubber, so I have no idea what you're talking about.

Either way, the daily show didn't base all of their writings on whatever left-wing conspiracy was popular at the time.

The bee isn't even good satire, it's literally just unfunny, crude conservative propaganda. They just repeat things conservatives unironically believe and then hide behind the veil of "satire" whenever they're called out.

That whole snopes fiasco made things very clear.

Either way, the daily show didn't base all of their writings on whatever left-wing conspiracy was popular at the time.

LOL, imagine typing this and not being embarrassed.

That whole snopes fiasco made things very clear.

Yeah, it made it very clear Snopes was full of shit.

LOL, imagine typing this and not being embarrassed.

What conspiracy? Name a few.

Yeah, it made it very clear Snopes was full of shit.

No, it exposed the fact the bee was a joke actually. Snopes has been "fact-checking" satire for years because people unironically believe it.

The bee knows this too, they just saw a chance to rile up poorly educated conservatives and took it.

We had this argument before Jubber, you asked for examples of snopes fact-checking satire before the bee and I easily put you in the dirt.

Snopes has been "fact-checking" satire

If you don't see the problem with that you're beyond help. Not that we didn't know that already.

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Shut up Toby

I don't see a problem with it because people unironically believe satire.

All snopes does is respond to viral bullshit, satire or not.

Snopes actually firmly laid out their reasoning:

https://www.snopes.com/notes/why-we-include-humor-and-satire-in-snopes-com/

What exactly do you disagree with here? What in this is absurd, or not well reasoned?

Oh, I know people often "eat the Onion," so to speak. That doesn't justify doing anything more than saying, "this is (clearly) humor." Snopes did lay out their reasoning, but their reasoning, like many of their fact checks, was idiotic and turned reality on its head. Making excuses after the fact and creating their silly "Labeled Satire" rating to save face after making an ass of themselves doesn't absolve them of being morons for spending umpteen paragraphs to say "this isn't a real news article and you're a complete r-slur if you need someone to point that out to you," and you'd realize that if you weren't the poster child for severe Asperger's Syndrome. I can understand why you appreciate fact checks of satire. Your condition doesn't allow you to recognize humor and you need someone to point it out to you.

Jubber, you are legit living in your own little reality. Snopes had been doing this for years, for good reason, and explained it multiple times over the years.

The bee legit just saw a chance to rile up conservatives (which tend to be people of lower education levels that might not be aware of any of this) and they took it.

Snopes didn't do anything wrong, Snopes didn't "backpedal out of it" or anything like that.

They created a "labeled satire" rating so the propaganda artists over at the bee didn't have an excuse to whine about them repeatedly.

Snopes had been doing this for years

Repeatedly doing something r-slurred doesn't make it less r-slurred. If anything, it makes you increasingly r-slurred for doing it.

The bee legit just saw a chance to rile up conservatives

We get it, you don't understand humor, especially when it is aimed at your sacred cows.

Snopes didn't "backpedal out of it"

The fuck they didn't. After the Bee's owner raged about it on Twitter and Snopes started getting flak Snopes softened the language of its original fact check and added an editors’ note saying they were "in the process of pioneering industry standards for how the fact-checking industry should best address humor and satire." Apparently their version of 'pioneering' is making an ass out of themselves, doubling-down on it, then pouting and creating their silly "Labeled Satire" label.

They created a "labeled satire" rating so the propaganda artists over at the bee didn't have an excuse to whine about them repeatedly.

They created the "Labeled Satire" tag so they could subtly imply that certain content was claimed to be satire by its creators but that it wasn't really satire. As if they would know, because much like you they're completely humorless and wouldn't recognize a joke if it were fucking them in the ass.

You are really delusional jubber. The fact you think snopes didn't know the bee was a satire website or was trying to pull some ruse over people is just weird conservative delusion.

Snopes got "flak" from the same people they always get flak from - conservatives that get aggressive towards anything that breaks the weird little anti-fact reality they've created on social media.

Snopes doesn't really care about them though.

I'm not delusional at all, and you're the last person who should be casting aspersions on anyone else's grasp on reality. It wasn't just conservatives mocking them. They made an ass of themselves then just like you're making an ass out of yourself now. It wasn't just conservatives making fun of them or questioning their odd fixation on the Bee. If Snopes really didn't care about them they wouldn't have "fact-checked" the Bee over 30 times. I can understand why you can't recognize an obsessive fixation when it's present because you have so many obsessive fixations of your own, but if we're lucky maybe someone can fact-check your assertions that Snopes wasn't being ridiculous and give them a nice "Labeled R-Slurred" rating.

Jubber you are absolutely delusional bro. You are neck deep in conservative victimhood.

Snopes doesn't even pick the things they "fact check" they get requests and base the fact checks on said requests.

The reason there's more bee requests is probably because bee satire ends up being taken as real news by internet dwellers at a much higher rate than satire from other websites.

Like seriously jubber, think about how stupid the argument you're making is.

Why would snopes have an agenda against the bee? To what purpose?

You've already convinced us you're r-slurred, you don't need to make a show of it.

Shut up virgin

cope

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John Connor is the bad guy in the films

He is oppressing the peace-loving electronic proletariat.

Rightoids reaping the effects of deregulation they sowed for 40+ years

Stay mad.

Ted Cruz calling net n*utrality "Obamacare for the Internet" a few years ago is especially hilarious in hindsight.

As a capitalist, I disagree with these socialist conservatives trying to mandate a private company give them a platform.

Keep government out of my internet.

If the first amendment doesn't apply to companies, none of them should. Mcdonald's should have slaves

SEETHE

SNEED

I still don't know what that word means

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What happened to the invisible hands of the market 😂😂😂