He should've just threatened them with a gun. That's the burger-approved way to make people do what you want. Plus, then they'd have believed he really was law enforcement.

immigants, I knew it was them. Even when it was da bears, I knew it was them.

Nope

Old people don't give a fuck, they've seen all this before are ready to die.

Good ol' Deerfield. Old people who aren't quite rich enough to go one town over to Boca where the houses are nicer.

To really pull this off you need to change your first name to Marshal