Next up: you product literally kills my children. I understand that sometimes there's a benefit to being edgy, but forgive me if I say "When the consumption of your product will kill my children, I have no sympathy for you. Fuck you, and your child-killing product."

enhance profile pic

Hmmm.

It's fucking eggs and oil lmao.

I thought the fat is evil fad was over

Don't forget the acid.

To the best of my knowledge, the hashtag #satansjizz has never appeared next to @realkraftmayo have never trended together.

So tell me, fellow tweeters, what makes @realkraftmayo your favorite brand of #satansjizz?

This is some serious cringe.

I love @MerrillBarr But when I am arguing with the vile shitbags at @RealKraftMayo about how their ad campaign attempts to shame people for not liking mayonnaise (aka Satan's Jizz, aka "poison" to my allergic children), that's not a good time to tell me death is tasty and tangy

What a genuine fucking psycho. His kids are allergic to mayo so he treats it like fucking napalm even when it has nothing to do with him

I could see how one of his kids could be allergic, but all of his kids are? Thats unbelievable

Probably because his "kids" are heckin pupper furbabies.

Wait, mayo isn't safe for dogs?

Oh no...

You read Satan's jizz and still thought it was serious?

Damn bro he made a joke while he was s**thing guess he didn't meant any of it

Damn bro he made a joke while he was s**thing guess he didn't meant any of it

Describes at least 75% of the comments on this sub.

The whole thing is a joke bozo

Based on what?

Your mom is a joke bozo

My nan has a nice buzzo

This "comedian" sucks. Is s(he) a w*mxn?

xe has a YouTube channel where he tries to not act like a scared soy and fails most of the time. I used to be subscribed but the homoerotic nature of their friendship became too much for even my bussy loving self. I particularly liked the video they made about 2 years ago begging for donations for a septic tank installation at their "compound" because even though it was in the countryside they still would drive 2 miles down the road to take a leak at a gas station. Once people pointed out they could just piss outside since there were no close neighbors they edited out that part.

Let me sum up that youtube upload history as such:

Y I K E S

Two gay men continuously pursuing ever more sophisticated ways of presenting themselves as masc just doesn't work unless they're actually gay and wearing leather.

Back in high school I knew a girl who literally could not hear the word mayonnaise or see a picture of mayo without freaking the fuck out. It was super strange though this was about a decade ago so this is like when peak Tumblr triggers and shit like that was going on. Last I checked she was now anti-vax and posting spiritual hippie stuff.

or see a picture of mayo

Of actual mayonnaise or a white person?

Product, I assume. It's pretty hard to survive in places that have internet while being freaked out by all images of mayo "people".

Product, I assume.

Just when I thought I had this sub sussed out.

I've known someone like that and when we went to eat at one of those chic trashy roadhouse steakhouses that were popular in the 90s they gave us a little tub of mayo instead of butter for dipping our complimentary rolls in. She dipped it and took a big bite. She didn't know what it was at 1st so her bf ( my h.s. buddy) tried it and turned pale. It was her 1st time eating mayo and she was literally freaking the hell out and coughing. They ended up leaving while we just continued waiting for our meal to come.

Bad meals can really stick with you.

bruh i have never seen someone so enraged over something so minor

Miracle Whip your bitch ass is next!

that reply got me so good lmao

Imagine being allergic to mayonnaise

I just hate the "taste" tbh.

Jesus christ what the fuck

Way to amplify their campaign and generate a conversation, you spaz.

Why do they always have THE. SAME. FUCKING. FACIAL. EXPRESSION

Not on the internet....is it duck face?

My grandparents used to use Heinz salad cream. That's got to be one of the worst atrocities the British have ever inflicted on the culinary world, along with tinned potato salad and Fray Bentos pies.

Something something white on white crime

Is it a bit?

Sounds like he is mayophobic. He should prolly get the gold cause I doubt anyone could top his story

loving the new flair

John C Dvorak tried to warn him not to get a vasectomy. Now this is the result.

1.6 million followers. R-slurred tweets get at most 341 likes.

Diagnosis: autism mixed with seasonal bipolar disorder.