To peer into the soul of a sea cucumber, don’t look to its face; it doesn’t have one. Gently turn that blobby body around, and gaze deep into its marvelous, multifunctional anus.
The sea cucumber's posterior is so much more than an exit hole for digestive waste. It is also a makeshift mouth that gobbles up bits of algae; a faux lung, latticed with tubes that exchange gas with the surrounding water; and a weapon that, in the presence of danger, can launch a sticky, stringy web of internal organs to entangle predators. It can even, on occasion, be a home for shimmering pearlfish, which wriggle inside the bum when it billows open to breathe. It would not be inaccurate to describe a sea cucumber as an extraordinary anus that just so happens to have a body around it. As Rebecca Helm, a jellyfish biologist at the University of North Carolina at Asheville, told me, “It is just a really great butt.”
But the sea cucumber’s anus does not receive the recognition it deserves. “The moment you say ‘anus,’ you can hear a pin drop in the room,” Helm said. Bodily taboos have turned anuses across the tree of life into cultural underdogs, and scientific ones too: Not many researchers vocally count themselves among the world’s anus enthusiasts, which, according to the proud few, creates a bit of a blind spot—one that keeps us from understanding a fundamental aspect of our own biology.
Obviously not a threat to humans, but there are a few spider species that can "shoot" and using the elastic properties propel their silk for the purpose of web building and ensnaring prey.
One of the largest potential wrinkles in the smooth anus narrative takes the shape of a comb jelly—a gelatinous animal that vaguely resembles a translucent Darth Vader helmet and is thought to be at least 700 million years old.
That article was a pleasure to read, thank you!
edit: "The only redeeming quality of humans’ humdrum posterior hole is the feature we evolved to cushion it: our infamous buttocks"--not quite, did you know that we have two anuses actually, two anal sphincters, the first is made of smooth muscle controlled by vegetative nervous system and it can lock up in the closed state and keep that way without further energy expenditure. However after there's too much poop pressure it unlocks and then it's up to the second striated musculature sphincter to keep the poop in, under the conscious control and gradually tiring because unlike smooth, striated muscles have to spend energy over time on just keeping the butthole shut.
I only follow the patriarchal aspects of Islam. Not the aspects that make you a cuck e.g. Abstaining from womanising, penetrating a sweet trap virgin ass and lowering your gaze.
14 comments
29 thenortheastface 2021-05-22
24 McFluff_TheCrimeCat 2021-05-22
Cool but a little horrifying too. Imagine if there was a land animal that shot out its intestines like a bunch of ropes and pulled you in.
12 thenortheastface 2021-05-22
Obviously not a threat to humans, but there are a few spider species that can "shoot" and using the elastic properties propel their silk for the purpose of web building and ensnaring prey.
7 UncleTedsBackup 2021-05-22
There's some ring(?)worm species that can do that. Looks freaky as fuck.
14 ArachnoLibrarian 2021-05-22
That article was a pleasure to read, thank you!
edit: "The only redeeming quality of humans’ humdrum posterior hole is the feature we evolved to cushion it: our infamous buttocks"--not quite, did you know that we have two anuses actually, two anal sphincters, the first is made of smooth muscle controlled by vegetative nervous system and it can lock up in the closed state and keep that way without further energy expenditure. However after there's too much poop pressure it unlocks and then it's up to the second striated musculature sphincter to keep the poop in, under the conscious control and gradually tiring because unlike smooth, striated muscles have to spend energy over time on just keeping the butthole shut.
4 thenortheastface 2021-05-22
Despite it's odd subject nature, it is really well written. A breath of fresh air in today's "journalistic" standards.
1 [deleted] 2021-05-22
[deleted]
18 UncleTedsBackup 2021-05-22
Oh man, I had no idea I had so much in common with a sea cucumber.
11 BK-n 2021-05-22
God I wish I was a pearlfish right now.
16 goodbehaviorsam 2021-05-22
What a weird way to tell people you're into bestiality and anal.
12 Lord_Sticky 2021-05-22
These are the people telling others to learn to code
3 Cleanit_up_Jannies 2021-05-22
More people should be paid to preach the glory of bussy
6 SnapshillBot 2021-05-22
I only follow the patriarchal aspects of Islam. Not the aspects that make you a cuck e.g. Abstaining from womanising, penetrating a sweet trap virgin ass and lowering your gaze.
Snapshots:
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6 Bumbong 2021-05-22
Asses are truly magical you can even smoke out of them.