The product is sold as premium alkalized drinking water in distinctive boxy blue bottles touting “E2 Electron Energized Technology.” Labels say it is “infused with negative ions”
People who fall for this kind of shit deserve what they get.
Real Water’s lead technician, Casey Aiken, 40, is a former vacuum and timeshare salesman who began working for Real Water last June after losing his job as a strip club promoter. According to a taped deposition from late March that was obtained by the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Aiken was promoted from his job of loading bottled water onto shipping pallets to the company’s lead technician after “a couple hours” of training.
They didn’t even know how to calibrate their own testing equipment. There’s a comment over in news from an article where their technician was getting a low reading on a broken meter so instead using any actual equations or chemistry, they just kept adding stuff until the reading read in their acceptable range.
Idk, how do you fuck up radishes? Also, why aren't you dead from the liver cancer already, I felt bad for you at the time and I'm feeling bad at you now for misleading me.
I got more testing done after moving back to CA and the liver shit isn't as bad as I was initially told. My pancreas is fucked though and they're still recommending a liver transplant, but it's not necessary.
Gallbladder's also pretty screwed up and it's been over a year since I've taken a solid shit.
30 comments
103 thenortheastface 2021-05-23
People who fall for this kind of shit deserve what they get.
41 Pepperglue 2021-05-23
Negative ion was so 2000s.
23 wow___justwow 2021-05-23
2Real4Water
19 choo-chootrain 2021-05-23
Man if they wanted those negative ions they could have just grabbed a bottle of oven cleaner and diluted it a bit.
EDIT: On further analysis that is exactly what they did you can't make this shit up.
94 McFluff_TheCrimeCat 2021-05-23
https://arstechnica.com/science/2021/05/technician-for-water-co-linked-to-liver-failure-says-his-dog-got-liver-illness/
83 goodbehaviorsam 2021-05-23
The American dream still exists.
Checkmate communists.
30 jcvfcvujyhhtif 2021-05-23
Their website is 'drinkrealwater.com', which I find to be an ironic thing to tell customers to do, as they drink experimental chemical concentrate.
22 ArachnoLibrarian 2021-05-23
This is absolutely fucking unreal.
21 ffbtaw2 2021-05-23
At first I read that as vacuum timeshare salesmen lmao
8 ironicshitpostr 2021-05-23
How often do you really need your vaccuum
Why bot have VacuumAsAService
Get it dropped off use it signal for a pickup
I’ll be sure to think of what a sucker you were when we IPO, or get aquihired
4 seenten 2021-05-23
A C-tier comedy would have thrown this script out as too stupid.
73 Eternal_Mr_Bones 2021-05-23
So I guess no one who had a literal HS science course worked there.
58 McFluff_TheCrimeCat 2021-05-23
They didn’t even know how to calibrate their own testing equipment. There’s a comment over in news from an article where their technician was getting a low reading on a broken meter so instead using any actual equations or chemistry, they just kept adding stuff until the reading read in their acceptable range.
45 NoCrowShow 2021-05-23
That's what real water does 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ If you don't like it, drink fake water 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
11 ch4p053 2021-05-23
This 👆😤
1 [deleted] 2021-05-23
[deleted]
35 Giulio-Cesare 2021-05-23
how do you fuck up water
28 fuckspazlmao 2021-05-23
Flint michingan circa 2012
10 ArachnoLibrarian 2021-05-23
Idk, how do you fuck up radishes? Also, why aren't you dead from the liver cancer already, I felt bad for you at the time and I'm feeling bad at you now for misleading me.
14 Giulio-Cesare 2021-05-23
I got more testing done after moving back to CA and the liver shit isn't as bad as I was initially told. My pancreas is fucked though and they're still recommending a liver transplant, but it's not necessary.
Gallbladder's also pretty screwed up and it's been over a year since I've taken a solid shit.
But I'm not at death's door like I thought I was.
Idk they're supposed to be super easy to grow.
4 thenortheastface 2021-05-23
Have you been recommended plums (in season) or prunes and prune juice?
10 Giulio-Cesare 2021-05-23
No but they put me on some medication for it that didn't help.
At the end of the day though it doesn't matter what I do unless I stop drinking, which I haven't.
8 ballrot 2021-05-23
Nobody likes a quitter
4 thenortheastface 2021-05-23
Seriously though, if it won't interfere with your medication, eat some plums or prunes.
3 Radimir-Lenin 2021-05-23
Maybe some realwater will cure what ails you.
8 thenortheastface 2021-05-23
https://www.lockhaven.edu/~dsimanek/dhmo.htm
6 ch4p053 2021-05-23
This is the real conspiracy
2 heretobefriends 2021-05-23
😟
2 AntiP--sOperations 2021-05-23
Maybe it was real water from Flint, Michigan?
1 Carolinagfwkafc 2021-05-23