What the darn-diddly-doodily did you just say, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang-diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If yonly you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily-flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
If every other "mom goes crazy" story is an indication, you can do exactly the same with children, usually by locking them in a car and pushing them into a lake.
I had 2 friends who I called Kidlers because they hated kids so much, eventually got married and had kids while moaning on about how terrible their future is going to be. Now they both can't stop talking about their kids
You have an obligation to the future of humanity to mount some attractive female with a terrible personality and produce an heir. You will raise them to carry on the proud traditions we observe in these hallowed halls. Train them in the arts of The Bantz. Guide them in their mastery of The Way of the Troll. Ensure they are ready to mine salt, to produce maximum seethe and cope, and generally sow hate and discontent among the smug and self-righteous. The only feeling I've enjoyed more than schadenfreude was the pride of hearing my son calmly and competently hitting some other kid with stinging rejoinders. Though there was some schadenfreude involved because I was pretty sure he was going to make the other kid cry like a bitch. I have fulfilled the greatest purpose to which any man can aspire, and could die tomorrow with complete contentment knowing that my genes will continue to irk the shit out of people for decades, if not centuries, after my death.
I automatically assume that anyone who doesn't like kids is either a sexless loser or a genetic or societal failure whose DNA and legacy aren't worth continuing. There is no grey area on this issue and anyone stating otherwise is coping with the fact that they fit into one of these two groups.
They seem to be mostly edgy teens. I checked the op's profile and she said somewhere she is 15. All she posts about is crying about her ex and how much she hates children.
There's a world of difference between just hating something and dedicating the time to longpost online, daily, about how much you hate the thing, let alone forming a community that's about circlejerking how much you hate the thing. There has to be some studies about this somewhere.
It reminds me of how off the wall "le science believer community" got. Imagine creating a subleddit to talk about how much you hate something you have no investment in.
We live in a culture where any form of critique *has* to be based on morality and "ethics".
​
Maybe the childhater wouldn't have been compared to racists, homophobes etc if we lived in a society where calling people r-slurs and bullying them from forming a community with fellow r-slurs was still mainstream....
If you think about it, between corporal punishment, child labor, neglect, various forms of abuse, children actually were pretty oppressed for most of history. Most parents before the 20th century would get CPS'd by modern standards
Hating kids is weird man. First of all we were all kids once. I guess if you had a miserable childhood or you were an insufferable brat then you might look back with self hatred.
Second of all how someone could fail to derive meaning from having children is beyond me. What a failure to the human race.
I mean technically kids are discrimsted against because of their age, can’t drink, drive, buy shit, go places, etc. not to mention people talk to five year olds differently than a 25 year old.
Your comment has been removed because it contained a bad word. The word was trans. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep /r/drama safe.
91 comments
176 15nelsoc 2021-06-20
Any person that hates children universally is mentally broken and a failure of evolution
86 JimieWhales 2021-06-20
Kids are terrible. At least in the old days they were useful in mines. What do we need them for today? Tiktok?
83 not_yet_divorced-yet 2021-06-20
Kids are proof that you're capable of spreading your DNA throughout the world. Failing to do so means that you are a failure.
29 1998Sublime 2021-06-20
Like a cumsock, my DNA is everywhere, but I REALLY don't wanna see it unless I have a boner
1 not_yet_divorced-yet 2021-06-20
What makes you think I don't raise my son like that? He knows to leave me alone
51 1998Sublime 2021-06-20
Sir the joke is pedophilic in nature by implying I don't want to see children unless I'm aroused
58 not_yet_divorced-yet 2021-06-20
I didn't know you were a moderator on reddit
21 1998Sublime 2021-06-20
tips fedora
10 BEATBRAIN 2021-06-20
Kids also make me hard. Just figured I'd let you know.
3 911roofer 2021-06-20
Silly person. The purpose of sex is to produce children. Having sex with a child is like sticking your dick in the frying pan.
1 [deleted] 2021-06-20
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1 AutoModerator 2021-06-20
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2 911roofer 2021-06-20
childfree
1 [deleted] 2021-06-20
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1 911roofer 2021-06-20
war childfree
7 Elite_Club 2021-06-20
I just bought a model rocket, ejaculated into the capsule, and then added like 3 extra rocket motors.
3 RydenwithByden 2021-06-20
Kids are proof that your pullout game was shit.
And theres plenty of little copies of failures running around here as is.
3 not_yet_divorced-yet 2021-06-20
Cope
76 california_quail 2021-06-20
Kids are the most adorable retards in the world. How the hell can you hate them?
53 fentanyl_peyotl 2021-06-20
Dogs are more adorable and you can drown them when you’re bored of them.
38 goodbehaviorsam 2021-06-20
Inhumane.
Leave them in the hood to get them recruited for the dog fighting rings. The weak dogs will live in fear of hecking cute pibbles.
7 BroboxylicAcid 2021-06-20
I always wondered whether your pfp was the bitch crazy princess herself or one of the simps wearing her skin and now I know.
5 fentanyl_peyotl 2021-06-20
She is what I aspire to.
4 BroboxylicAcid 2021-06-20
So did the simps in the end.
3 fentanyl_peyotl 2021-06-20
It smiles
😬
7 911roofer 2021-06-20
What the darn-diddly-doodily did you just say, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang-diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If yonly you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily-flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
3 jubbergun 2021-06-20
If every other "mom goes crazy" story is an indication, you can do exactly the same with children, usually by locking them in a car and pushing them into a lake.
23 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-20
Easily. Kids are annoying and I don't like them. Get off my lawn
41 cyberdick 2021-06-20
I had 2 friends who I called Kidlers because they hated kids so much, eventually got married and had kids while moaning on about how terrible their future is going to be. Now they both can't stop talking about their kids
-5 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-20
Oh I'm sure if I had kids I'd love them but I'm still not going to like anyone else's little crotch goblins
*lol breeders mad
25 smeernootjes 2021-06-20
I doubt it
19 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-20
Maybe one day God will see fit to let gay men get pregnant but not today
7 wingrath 2021-06-20
implying there are any dramatards that don't have lazy-eyed sperm
5 911roofer 2021-06-20
"love"
2 jubbergun 2021-06-20
You have an obligation to the future of humanity to mount some attractive female with a terrible personality and produce an heir. You will raise them to carry on the proud traditions we observe in these hallowed halls. Train them in the arts of The Bantz. Guide them in their mastery of The Way of the Troll. Ensure they are ready to mine salt, to produce maximum seethe and cope, and generally sow hate and discontent among the smug and self-righteous. The only feeling I've enjoyed more than schadenfreude was the pride of hearing my son calmly and competently hitting some other kid with stinging rejoinders. Though there was some schadenfreude involved because I was pretty sure he was going to make the other kid cry like a bitch. I have fulfilled the greatest purpose to which any man can aspire, and could die tomorrow with complete contentment knowing that my genes will continue to irk the shit out of people for decades, if not centuries, after my death.
2 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-20
This is so convincing that it almost makes me want to fuck gussy for a kid
21 UpvoteIfYouDare 2021-06-20
Kids are psychotic little proto-humans. That's why I find them fascinating, even if they're a pain in the ass.
6 Big-Ant_ 2021-06-20
By spending a significant amount of time around kids that aren't yours
64 ShitTornadoToOz 2021-06-20
I automatically assume that anyone who doesn't like kids is either a sexless loser or a genetic or societal failure whose DNA and legacy aren't worth continuing. There is no grey area on this issue and anyone stating otherwise is coping with the fact that they fit into one of these two groups.
28 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-20
Counterpoint: anyone that uses reddit should be forced sterilized and any children they already have put into foster care.
*this is not a joke. I'm 100% serious
29 Immediateload 2021-06-20
This, but Twitter.
11 jubbergun 2021-06-20
This, but Twitter, Reddit, Facebook, and Tiktok.
19 SPY400 2021-06-20
Is it really fair to call it an assumption when it’s 100% true?
It’s one thing to not be ready to have kids, it’s another to hate them.
2 RydenwithByden 2021-06-20
I see the libertarian in you just had to come out
2 ShitTornadoToOz 2021-06-20
This is libel. You'll be hearing from my lawyers, sir.
21 wingrath 2021-06-20
It's literally the one thing nature designed every living thing to do and they cope by saying "aktually I don't even want kids!"
20 15nelsoc 2021-06-20
The industrial revolution and its consequences...
12 Zero5urvivers 2021-06-20
Small greasy ch*ld fingers typed this post
53 15nelsoc 2021-06-20
Cope
No one wants your genes to carry on
7 Zero5urvivers 2021-06-20
43 15nelsoc 2021-06-20
Seethe
You will drown in a tide of shambling adorable little imbeciles
3 911roofer 2021-06-20
Good. You belong on that watchlist you short-eyed rock spider.
151 Zero5urvivers 2021-06-20
Instead of longposting the OP should have just said the following regarding the article:
79 BroboxylicAcid 2021-06-20
Heckinposting is the death of the soul, but the soul of whoever wrote that longpost wasted away ages ago, so it's not like it's gonna hurt them.
4 shwoooooop 2021-06-20
NOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN SOULERINO NOOOO
87 HodorTheDoorHolder__ 2021-06-20
Before we even talk to a kid, we always assume they’re a child 😔
78 CaliggyJack 2021-06-20
I hate children and I find them to be obnoxious little twats but I don't go around making a community around it ffs
Not everything needs to have it's own identity. wtf is "CF people" fuck off.
69 Pokanot 2021-06-20
They seem to be mostly edgy teens. I checked the op's profile and she said somewhere she is 15. All she posts about is crying about her ex and how much she hates children.
45 Oreu 2021-06-20
So they’re literally a child. Someone should inform them.
19 wingrath 2021-06-20
imagine being this bitter just because the guy you stalk didn't want to splooge in you
10 jubbergun 2021-06-20
It's probably more because he did nut in her then dumped her for her more attractive friend.
10 preserved_fish 2021-06-20
It makes sense that a child would hate another child whole stole attention from them.
4 jubbergun 2021-06-20
I'm shocked there isn't a post saying "15 isn't actually a child" followed by something about ephebophilia.
32 MEGA_NEGA9001 2021-06-20
this is why we need islam inshallah
10 PM_ME_UR_SHINES 2021-06-20
lmao
3 CaliggyJack 2021-06-20
Betcha he wanted children in the future and thats why they broke up
3 911roofer 2021-06-20
The internet has been the worst thing to happen to teenagers in years.
33 VonFingerbang 2021-06-20
There's a world of difference between just hating something and dedicating the time to longpost online, daily, about how much you hate the thing, let alone forming a community that's about circlejerking how much you hate the thing. There has to be some studies about this somewhere.
10 SalazarNeri 2021-06-20
It reminds me of how off the wall "le science believer community" got. Imagine creating a subleddit to talk about how much you hate something you have no investment in.
52 TK_RAO 2021-06-20
>wahh the compared us to bigots wahhh
​
We live in a culture where any form of critique *has* to be based on morality and "ethics".
​
Maybe the childhater wouldn't have been compared to racists, homophobes etc if we lived in a society where calling people r-slurs and bullying them from forming a community with fellow r-slurs was still mainstream....
7 jubbergun 2021-06-20
We need to replace the Better Business Bureau with the Bring Back Bullying Bureau.
37 tenebrous_cloud 2021-06-20
If they had to choose: lose your Nintendo switch and vacations or put minorites in camps, how would that go?
7 Big_Daymo 2021-06-20
Maybe they'll trade in the Switch and let the Minorities free in a year or so when they are done with Splatoon 3
35 languidhorse 2021-06-20
If you think about it, between corporal punishment, child labor, neglect, various forms of abuse, children actually were pretty oppressed for most of history. Most parents before the 20th century would get CPS'd by modern standards
13 SPY400 2021-06-20
Facts actually. Childhood used to be shit (so was life in general tho lol)
4 911roofer 2021-06-20
Children truly are the most oppressed minority.
24 Wopitikitotengo 2021-06-20
What do you think minorities were before they were adults bud
23 adhamrlf 2021-06-20
D-did they just say there isn't systems in place to treat children differently because of their age?
17 haroly 2021-06-20
why did you stutter on the internet
12 adhamrlf 2021-06-20
Because tone is hard to convey through formal text alone and there aren't enough emojis.
6 Big_Daymo 2021-06-20
Of course a bongpepe would try to convey his tone digitally, just put a /s like everyone else 🙄
23 Oreu 2021-06-20
Hating kids is weird man. First of all we were all kids once. I guess if you had a miserable childhood or you were an insufferable brat then you might look back with self hatred.
Second of all how someone could fail to derive meaning from having children is beyond me. What a failure to the human race.
14 tiptopkitkat 2021-06-20
If you hate kids, very different from not planning to have any, there is something wrong with your evolutionary thinking process.
6 BIPOCULARS 2021-06-20
The assumed innocence of childhood is its own oppression and most be dismantled.
3 badabababaim 2021-06-20
I mean technically kids are discrimsted against because of their age, can’t drink, drive, buy shit, go places, etc. not to mention people talk to five year olds differently than a 25 year old.
1 [deleted] 2021-06-20
[deleted]
1 [deleted] 2021-06-20
[removed]
1 AutoModerator 2021-06-20
Your comment has been removed because it contained a bad word. The word was
trans. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep /r/drama safe.I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-5 barbershopraga 2021-06-20
Croblins (a portmanteau of Crotch Goblins)
8 911roofer 2021-06-20
The gift of life is wasted on you.