I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than supporting DDR. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are canvassing, donating, rallying and voting for a guy for at least 4 years solely so he can go and leave you with federal charges. All the hard work you put into your beautiful maga - reading his tweets at bedtime, making him your entire identity, making sure he won the presidency, making memes, wearing his hats. All of it has one simple result: he leaves you to rot in prison.
Raised the perfect maga flag? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a rslur man who had nothing to do with you. He gets to fuck Ivanka's tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet gussy that came from her mom.
As a man who has a DDD, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 4 years of your life simply to raise a president to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically
Initially I said it would be uncanny because I was listening to Kyle's stream earlier (Sheriff Pred) and by happenstance saw that an ex-drama poweruser had donated 5 gift subs, which made me wonder if any other people here watch any of that shit. It's especially uncanny though because Moonmoon is really the only streamer I listen to, so it's funny that you mention him. It's good background while doing other stuff, plus he's not zoomer friendly.
Moonmoon and asmongold are good people that get bullied by weirdos online. It sucks cuz they are weirdos like me and maybe you, they just happened to become millionaires.
I definitely relate to Moon a lot as a weirdo, Asmongold not so much. I really don't think Moon cares about getting bullied, he's pretty confident and secure in his life. Asmon seems to take criticism a bit harder. At the end of the day they both make millions playing vidya and chatting to autistic nerds though, as you said.
Stonetoss is genuinely funny dont lie. If he made centrist comics id unironically love him. His art style is bad but his sense of timing is genuinely good, like the cum jar comic for example
Stonetoss is like mid-tier when it comes to terminally online rightoid comics, artwise. The one I actually can't understand is hedgewik, his art is absolutely painful to look at. I'm almost jealous that he basically just takes /pol/ shitposts and slaps some elementary school art over it and makes money.
Oh yeah i hate hedgewik. Stonetoss can make political and apolitical comics, he can also make comics which espouse opinions that arent racist, hedge is just fully blown āi hate this group of peopleā every comic with no wit or subtlety. The best art wise is probably that George guy that did the you aint black comic, but the problem is his writing is worse than stonetossā 90% of the time and hes always seething on twitter when you say he has a small dick
On another note searching stonetoss cum jar gave me like an antifastonetoss edit of a stonetoss comic that was already making fun of trump. Something something leftoids bad
Heās quite funny. If he had less radical opinions but kept the same comedic timing everyone would like him. The art style is the worst part, which is weird as someone like Breadpanes (if im thinking of the right guy) copies that but not the comedy
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that Iām a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then itās time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you ā yes, specifically you ā is obviously my first priorityā¦ but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything thatās even tangentially related to what theyāve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the siteās executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I donāt actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parentsā basement would mean that I wouldnāt get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures ā using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue ā of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once Iāve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual usersā days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if Iām going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat ā which is a trilby, of course ā and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
Itās time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. Sheāll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Donāt ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because Iāll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, Iāve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters havenāt told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, theyāre only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything ā especially if itās entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier ā Iāll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, itās the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You donāt need to read this, because youāve already decided that you know it all.
42 comments
123 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-23
Is supporting DDR the ultimate cuckoldry?
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than supporting DDR. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are canvassing, donating, rallying and voting for a guy for at least 4 years solely so he can go and leave you with federal charges. All the hard work you put into your beautiful maga - reading his tweets at bedtime, making him your entire identity, making sure he won the presidency, making memes, wearing his hats. All of it has one simple result: he leaves you to rot in prison.
Raised the perfect maga flag? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a rslur man who had nothing to do with you. He gets to fuck Ivanka's tight pussy every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet gussy that came from her mom.
As a man who has a DDD, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 4 years of your life simply to raise a president to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically
64 -M-o-X- 2021-06-23
Imagine turning down those sweet Soros bucks just to simp for an obese septuagenarian
20 Zozbot 2021-06-23
zoz
18 Zozbot 2021-06-23
zle
22 Zozbot 2021-06-23
zozzle
29 TheOverSeether 2021-06-23
Demented Daddy Dick? You go, champ!
16 The_Dramanomicon 2021-06-23
That would be living the dream
11 Giulio-Cesare 2021-06-23
I'll hit you up in fifty years when I'm in a nursing home bby
53 Zero5urvivers 2021-06-23
Unironic doublethink
44 SJCards 2021-06-23
Or better yet.
26 WarBoyPrimo 2021-06-23
ITS WHAT PATRIOTS CRAVE
1 [deleted] 2021-06-23
[removed]
13 daggermag 2021-06-23
Poggers. Jane Obama.
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYUUUUMMMMMMM
10 DuckSosu 2021-06-23
If this is a GTA RP reference that is actually uncanny.
7 daggermag 2021-06-23
I sometimes listen to moonmoon on twitch when really bored. It's my TV time while I cook or clean.
7 DuckSosu 2021-06-23
Initially I said it would be uncanny because I was listening to Kyle's stream earlier (Sheriff Pred) and by happenstance saw that an ex-drama poweruser had donated 5 gift subs, which made me wonder if any other people here watch any of that shit. It's especially uncanny though because Moonmoon is really the only streamer I listen to, so it's funny that you mention him. It's good background while doing other stuff, plus he's not zoomer friendly.
4 daggermag 2021-06-23
Moonmoon and asmongold are good people that get bullied by weirdos online. It sucks cuz they are weirdos like me and maybe you, they just happened to become millionaires.
Money is the root of all evils xxxddds
6 DuckSosu 2021-06-23
I definitely relate to Moon a lot as a weirdo, Asmongold not so much. I really don't think Moon cares about getting bullied, he's pretty confident and secure in his life. Asmon seems to take criticism a bit harder. At the end of the day they both make millions playing vidya and chatting to autistic nerds though, as you said.
3 daggermag 2021-06-23
š¹š¹š¹š¹š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤
3 daggermag 2021-06-23
Kyle is pretty cool but God damn he doesn't know how to cook which is cringe. He is fun to listen to. Alabaster slim is og as fuck
43 Not_a_robot_serious 2021-06-23
donald trump was on WWF raw, joe biden wasn't
and what does any of this have to do with east germany?
7 Dr_Ama_Lama 2021-06-23
Show some respek. Donald J. Trump is a World Wrestlin Hall of Famer, as well as the 45th President of America.
Joe Biden is a houseplant.
29 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
Honestly the guy if he stopped schizoposting and had less radical positions hed be a great artist. Same with stonethrow
29 WarBoyPrimo 2021-06-23
Garrison has a certain MAD Magazine style of drawing that if he wasn't insane actually could be really funny in a lot of circumstances.
Stonetoss, on the other hand, is a only a few notches above Polcompball.
27 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
Stonetoss is genuinely funny dont lie. If he made centrist comics id unironically love him. His art style is bad but his sense of timing is genuinely good, like the cum jar comic for example
17 DuckSosu 2021-06-23
Stonetoss is like mid-tier when it comes to terminally online rightoid comics, artwise. The one I actually can't understand is hedgewik, his art is absolutely painful to look at. I'm almost jealous that he basically just takes /pol/ shitposts and slaps some elementary school art over it and makes money.
7 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
Oh yeah i hate hedgewik. Stonetoss can make political and apolitical comics, he can also make comics which espouse opinions that arent racist, hedge is just fully blown āi hate this group of peopleā every comic with no wit or subtlety. The best art wise is probably that George guy that did the you aint black comic, but the problem is his writing is worse than stonetossā 90% of the time and hes always seething on twitter when you say he has a small dick
6 ComedicSans 2021-06-23
Link pls
7 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
https://mobile.twitter.com/Real_Xi_Jinping/status/1283891063959289857
On another note searching stonetoss cum jar gave me like an antifastonetoss edit of a stonetoss comic that was already making fun of trump. Something something leftoids bad
-2 ihatesmugpeople 2021-06-23
http://stonetoss.com/comic/jarring-experience/
10 HP_civ 2021-06-23
WTF is that shit trying to bait me with malware
8 TheOverSeether 2021-06-23
Honestly, Garrison + fanfic is definitely superior:
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/986/799/1e1
12 Shitforbrainspoop 2021-06-23
If he wasn't insane he'd just be another political cartoonist
8 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
If he wasnt insane he probably wouldnt be a political cartoonist tbh
8 Bovolt 2021-06-23
His art is somehow more uninspired than mid-2000's Ctrl+Alt+Del what are you even talking about.
6 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
Heās quite funny. If he had less radical opinions but kept the same comedic timing everyone would like him. The art style is the worst part, which is weird as someone like Breadpanes (if im thinking of the right guy) copies that but not the comedy
2 TouchFIuffyTaiI 2021-06-23
He has actual talent, and it really shows through at times, but it seems like he holds it back because it's a political cartoon.
1 offshoreredditaccnt 2021-06-23
I agree. I could have seen him doing like a modern version of Dilbert if he embraced early career Scott Adams instead of late
13 SnapshillBot 2021-06-23
Damn, you know what?
You caught me. You flat-out caught me. It's time to come clean.
Let me tell you a little bit about how I go through my day, which is also how literally every other moderator goes through theirs.
I wake up in my dingy, unwashed bed (which is covered with suspicious stains), then immediately scream for my mother to come downstairs and tell me that Iām a special boy. Once I feel sufficiently better than everyone else, I log in to Reddit, where I go through all of the top-secret communiques that I receive from whichever political party you personally dislike. Having accepted my marching orders, I motivate myself by going to town on my own backside with an anime-style figurine; a doll which looks vaguely like the world leader you most abhor. Then itās time to get to work.
Pushing a narrative which irritates you ā yes, specifically you ā is obviously my first priorityā¦ but if a totalitarian regime which controls another country, religious group, or corporation has sent me enough money, I take whatever steps I can to promote or censor anything thatās even tangentially related to what theyāve highlighted for me. If the entity in question also happens to have a very small minority stake in Reddit (or if one of the siteās executives has rumored ties to their organization), then I make sure to publicly fellate them whilst simultaneously denying their influence. The more sucking that I do, the more cash I receive!
Mind you, I donāt actually spend any of that loot, because moving out of my parentsā basement would mean that I wouldnāt get that crack-of-noon ego-stroking anymore. No, rather than using those ill-gotten gains to improve my lot in life, I sculpt them into life-size (and anatomically correct) sculptures ā using copious amounts of my own neck-sweat as glue ā of the various public figures whose actions or perspectives anger you.
Anyway, once Iāve made certain that my corrupt overlords are pleased, I start looking for ways that I can ruin individual usersā days. Randomly removing posts (and then pretending that they were in violation of some invisible rules) is the only way that I can become aroused, after all, and I need to stand at my full, massive two inches if Iām going to be able to reach myself past all of my stomach fat. Having come to attention, I put on my self-pleasure hat ā which is a trilby, of course ā and start banning people who disagree with my opinions.
Those opinions having been carefully structured to go against yours, of course.
Itās time for a break by that point, so I spend an hour or three lecturing my waifu body-pillow about a given social trend that makes people (again, specifically you) upset. Sheāll usually offer some kind of counterargument, which means that I need to throw an impotent tantrum. Whenever that happens, my only solace comes by way of somehow abusing my awesome Internet powers, typically while gorging myself on junk food, soda, and heaping handfuls of straight-up lard. Donāt ask me how that abuse actually manifests, though, because Iāll silence all of the remarkably insightful questions that you send my way. The thing is, Iāve never heard any of them before... and since my hidden masters havenāt told me how to respond, my only option is to screech at my computer monitor as I wildly flail around.
Those eight seconds of exertion tend to bring me pretty close to unconsciousness, so I have to completely ignore the communities that I govern for a while, thereby allowing a multitude of posts and comments to go through unchecked. Fortunately, theyāre only ever submissions which you (once more, specifically you) find distasteful, so it still counts as a victory. At the same time, though, if you try to submit anything ā especially if itās entirely adherent to those invisible rules that I mentioned earlier ā Iāll wheeze my way back into a semi-upright position for just long enough to mete out another completely unwarranted ban.
Finally, once all of that is done, I kill myself, frequently by dying in a fire. Getting the suggestion to do so dozens (or even hundreds) of times a day just proves to be too much for my utterly unfathomable intellect to handle, so I eventually succumb to the sweet embrace of death.
Besides, itās the only way that I can get to sleep at night.
TL;DR: You donāt need to read this, because youāve already decided that you know it all.
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, not a moderator of this subreddit | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
4 Tactical_L 2021-06-23
Sentient
2 seenten 2021-06-23
Not sure where OP stole this from but it'd be better if the dates were on them.
1 steve_stout 2021-06-23
I canāt believe this shit is going to get studied in history textbooks