Something tells me that the best thing to do if you are enlisted in the military is to never have sex with anyone because I only ever hear stories about that causing problems.
Don't fuck other service members and you'll be alright.
Unrelated, but it's tough not to do if your female. When you go out with your fellow service members they have these things I now call simp cells. It'll be one female service member and a minimum of 6 dudes surrounding her sitting at the bar. It's too easy for a chick that's a civilian 4 to get with a near 10 Chad. I don't blame them.
The other problem, this is more specific to the navy, is if you're on a Westpac you're pulling into Asian countries, pretty easy for dudes to get good local puss. Most American girls don't want asian dick though. So really their only choice is another service member.
Civilians also have a hard time dating girls in the military because they will feel insecure and jealous, especially in the Navy because there's a good chance her shipmates knows more about her than her boyfriend. When you're living with someone for 6 months at a time and then working with them for a few years that happens. When the boyfriend comes into the picture the simp cell stills exsists because girls tend to not hang out with girls because they don't work well together. If a girl doesn't like a girl at work, she won't outside of it. So they stick to their simpcell.
If guys were smart they'd keep their dick outta chicks in uniform.
Pretty interesting reading the dynamics of gender in the military. There's gotta be some crazy stuff that's been covered up through the years. I guess policy being updated is a reflection of those stories.
When I deployed in 2010 we got credit cards that have the chips we all use now. They were using them so we could buy shit overseas but also you could transfer money chip to chip on ship (something that didn’t carry over to the civvie version because Venmo and cashapp would be out of business I guess?).
The chip to chip transactions are important because that’s how they were able to track the extent of the prostitution ring one 🏀 gunny sgt was running.
He got caught because his nasty Mayo underlings couldn’t handle being dommed by a 🏀 so they left a camera hidden setup in the armory they were in charge of.
Turns out, according to the chip to chip transaction history there was quite a racket. The chicks were mostly 🏀 sailors but the one Mayo chick in on it, was legit disgusting, was like a trash back filled with cottage cheese type. And word is she made about $2k at $50/head $80 full service
Just to put a cherry on top, command felt the right response was to hold “don’t be a literal whore in uniform” PowerPoint trainings for the females only. So much f*id seethe
Tina Fey made a movie called Whiskey Tango Froxtrot where there are numerous jokes about how women that are 4’s back home become 9’s on base when they’re the only women around.
Lmao easy to recommend that but try being stationed is Saigon , thousands of miles from your wife end kids, and then you start seeing all these hairless young Vietnamese men, glistening in the stifling heat, beckoning you from their apartment window inside for a cool glass of green tea. Yeah, you're right about the trouble these Saigon boys cause, but after two weeks you'll be looking for problems.
Also, the day before she was due to give birth she drove all the way to Illinois from Virginia to confront him at his parents house the day before she was due to give birth and the cops were called.
She thought he was quarantined on base or some shit, not on leave.
Cheating violates military conduct standards. Goes uneforced for enlistees, because enlistees are 90% trailer trash, but will ruin your career if you're an officer.
Adultery is against the UCMJ and it can also effect security clearances.
Edit: fun fact under UCMJ Article 125, untill 2003 consensual sodemy was a violation. The DOD considers sodemy to be penetration of the ass and mouth.
So butt sex and blowjobs were against the rules. When I was in boot camp the company commanders/RDC's (drill instructors) would threaten to 125 us if we didn't behave.
Man i wish there was a military body specialised in trains, like navy for ships, airforce for planes and you'd call it railforce.
During conventional war each train of a country would have their respective tracks and you'd have dudes jump from one train to the other, the fight would be insane, or off the rails.
39 comments
70 Zero5urvivers 2021-06-28
Something tells me that the best thing to do if you are enlisted in the military is to never have sex with anyone because I only ever hear stories about that causing problems.
75 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
Don't fuck other service members and you'll be alright.
Unrelated, but it's tough not to do if your female. When you go out with your fellow service members they have these things I now call simp cells. It'll be one female service member and a minimum of 6 dudes surrounding her sitting at the bar. It's too easy for a chick that's a civilian 4 to get with a near 10 Chad. I don't blame them.
The other problem, this is more specific to the navy, is if you're on a Westpac you're pulling into Asian countries, pretty easy for dudes to get good local puss. Most American girls don't want asian dick though. So really their only choice is another service member.
Civilians also have a hard time dating girls in the military because they will feel insecure and jealous, especially in the Navy because there's a good chance her shipmates knows more about her than her boyfriend. When you're living with someone for 6 months at a time and then working with them for a few years that happens. When the boyfriend comes into the picture the simp cell stills exsists because girls tend to not hang out with girls because they don't work well together. If a girl doesn't like a girl at work, she won't outside of it. So they stick to their simpcell.
If guys were smart they'd keep their dick outta chicks in uniform.
65 chilifuckaronipizza 2021-06-28
If the armed forces were smart, they’d keep women out. pour one out for what once was the leading homoseparatist organization in the world 👨❤️👨👉👌
34 Shitforbrainspoop 2021-06-28
the navy has never been the same 😢
7 JanetYellensFuckboy 2021-06-28
Think of all the sailors who will never take the bussypill. It's a travesty.
31 busslordlowkeybussin 2021-06-28
Pretty interesting reading the dynamics of gender in the military. There's gotta be some crazy stuff that's been covered up through the years. I guess policy being updated is a reflection of those stories.
15 KillaKahn416 2021-06-28
When I deployed in 2010 we got credit cards that have the chips we all use now. They were using them so we could buy shit overseas but also you could transfer money chip to chip on ship (something that didn’t carry over to the civvie version because Venmo and cashapp would be out of business I guess?).
The chip to chip transactions are important because that’s how they were able to track the extent of the prostitution ring one 🏀 gunny sgt was running.
He got caught because his nasty Mayo underlings couldn’t handle being dommed by a 🏀 so they left a camera hidden setup in the armory they were in charge of.
Turns out, according to the chip to chip transaction history there was quite a racket. The chicks were mostly 🏀 sailors but the one Mayo chick in on it, was legit disgusting, was like a trash back filled with cottage cheese type. And word is she made about $2k at $50/head $80 full service
5 AntHoneyBourDang 2021-06-28
Getting railed for this country. That is some real ‘ comfort women ‘
14 KillaKahn416 2021-06-28
Just to put a cherry on top, command felt the right response was to hold “don’t be a literal whore in uniform” PowerPoint trainings for the females only. So much f*id seethe
26 Gloomlurker_ 2021-06-28
Thanks for introducing me to a "simp cell" Such wisdom from the older,wiser dramanauts is what I come here for.
20 MagicCrunch 2021-06-28
Tina Fey made a movie called Whiskey Tango Froxtrot where there are numerous jokes about how women that are 4’s back home become 9’s on base when they’re the only women around.
17 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
That's 100 percent accurate. You have a military 7 who's actually a 4.
The scale is relative.
7 jimmerz28 2021-06-28
you're = you + are
your = possessive pronoun
26 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
Arggghh slashhhh averageredditor
28 jimmerz28 2021-06-28
I always try to help marines navigate through the trenches of the English language.
1 MagicalZamboni 2021-06-28
Shut the FUCK up NERD
2 bertli 2021-06-28
This is why we need trains
15 habeshamuscle 2021-06-28
Lmao easy to recommend that but try being stationed is Saigon , thousands of miles from your wife end kids, and then you start seeing all these hairless young Vietnamese men, glistening in the stifling heat, beckoning you from their apartment window inside for a cool glass of green tea. Yeah, you're right about the trouble these Saigon boys cause, but after two weeks you'll be looking for problems.
36 TruthPains 2021-06-28
<log into facebook to continue>
The fuck is wrong with you OP?
18 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
I copied the wrong link, I'm sorry homie.
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2021/06/23/army-investigating-ft-eustis-officer-for-alleged-cheating-scandal/
35 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
Also, the day before she was due to give birth she drove all the way to Illinois from Virginia to confront him at his parents house the day before she was due to give birth and the cops were called.
She thought he was quarantined on base or some shit, not on leave.
Police Report
Didn't mean to link FB. Army Time's article here
14 [deleted] 2021-06-28
[deleted]
60 xX69Sixty-Nine69Xx 2021-06-28
Cheating violates military conduct standards. Goes uneforced for enlistees, because enlistees are 90% trailer trash, but will ruin your career if you're an officer.
43 ShitTornadoToOz 2021-06-28
Pretty on the nose. I've seen it enforced on E7 and above. If this was enforced throughout the lower enlisted ranks, there'd be no one left.
5 KillaKahn416 2021-06-28
Depends if your command likes you, I’ve seen e3s get knocked to pfc for it
6 SuperSprocket 2021-06-28
Or where you are. I've heard doing that sort of shit somewhere like a nuke base can get you in deep shit.
1 KillaKahn416 2021-06-28
In this case a submarine base that carries a certain type of missile but spot on
42 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
Adultery is against the UCMJ and it can also effect security clearances.
Edit: fun fact under UCMJ Article 125, untill 2003 consensual sodemy was a violation. The DOD considers sodemy to be penetration of the ass and mouth.
So butt sex and blowjobs were against the rules. When I was in boot camp the company commanders/RDC's (drill instructors) would threaten to 125 us if we didn't behave.
11 [deleted] 2021-06-28
[deleted]
1 b95csf 2021-06-28
so brojobs were still okay?
1 [deleted] 2021-06-28
[deleted]
35 busslordlowkeybussin 2021-06-28
The case for an all homosexual army strengthens.
15 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
That'd make man love Thursday much more fun.
19 BUKAKKOLYPSE 2021-06-28
Chads gonna Chad, stay mad holes 😎
15 AutismSundae 2021-06-28
This dude is so fucked.
19 Iowa_Hawkeye 2021-06-28
Normally don't take a women's side, but this dude deserves to get fried.
9 jimmerz28 2021-06-28
Wow he's hideous.
5 HauteProperty 2021-06-28
He's got horse teeth. I wonder if he's got horse c-word🤔
1 GourmetImp 2021-06-28
Man i wish there was a military body specialised in trains, like navy for ships, airforce for planes and you'd call it railforce.
During conventional war each train of a country would have their respective tracks and you'd have dudes jump from one train to the other, the fight would be insane, or off the rails.