Research proves what we already knew about the 🐶 💊

1  2021-06-29 by BMBA24

55 comments

I always thought it was "man's best friend" like mankind not just men lol.

Lmao imagine not automatically idpol-ing every statement ever made. Fucking casual

how do you become terminally online? I'm trying, but I keep finding myself surrounded by loving friends and family.

Lmao the article's comments are full of cope

My only friends are my 2 dogs, and yes, I am female.

I'm an orphan, thats why.

Happy now?

It is but whatever lol

But what about the non-binary?

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U weird bot

Red rockets aside, my theory is that dogs act as surrogate for childless women to fulfill their maternal instincts.

They require some basic care (unlike cats) they never grow up and call you a b*tch, and you can lock them in a kennel when you get tired of them

This is exactly my theory as well.

Dogs are like permanent children that never reach adolescence and rebel. They require basic care, and give unconditional love no matter how shitty you are as a person. Insecure losers get to feel like they're worthy people simply because a rarted dog looks up to them. It's the ultimate power trip that requires little to no work or skill.

Cats are based on the other hand. They don't just give you love, you have to earn their love. I love those aloof motherfuckers and the fact that I can leave my rarted cat for a week with a bowl of food and she'll be fine.

Besides the crazy cat lady trope and the people who actually have dogs that do jobs, I find people with cats to be more secure with themselves than people with dogs.

the parasites in your cat's shit is literally mind controlling you

i'm only barely exaggerating

Stop eating cat shit neurotards !

Once again proving that dogs > children

Red rockets aside, my theory is that dogs act as surrogate for childless women birthing people to fulfill their maternal instincts.

There are men who have maternal instincts as well.

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Some interesting snippets:

But when dogs are interacting with women in a particular society, dogs are more likely to have names, be treated as family, as kin, to be buried and mourned when they died,” says Professor Robert Quinlan, of WSU’s anthropology department

the family bvll gets the respect he deserves as usual

It’s more likely that a woman will have a dog sleeping alongside her,” says Ph.D. student Jaime Chambers, another of the paper’s authors.

something that most dramanaughts have observed far before this paper was written.

Here is a 1902 observation from an ethnologist traveling in the Aguaruna region of Peru headhunters: “Many dogs are in evidence everywhere in the Indian houses. … The women give them special attention. … In the case of puppies I have witnessed how the Indian woman first chewed the food and then offered it to the dog out of her own mouth. Very young puppies are carried by the women in the fold of her upper dress and they are allowed to suck on the women’s breasts.”

🐶 💊

Or a 2015 paper about single women placing “more value on how a potential mate interacts with their pet (specifically, their dog) than will single men.”

the cuck needs to show respect to the gvlden bull

There you can find a 2015 paper on how oxytocin (“recognized for its role in bonding, socialization and stress relief”) increased “statistically more” for women than men when around their dog.

I wonder why? 🤔

How can they get this close to dropping the redrocketpill without actually saying it

It's called edging.

You put the quotes at the wrong parts

Anthropologists would be the most useless academics if it weren't for sociologists.

Sociology is literally the most useless fucking shit imaginable. The study of society and how individuals interact within systems is not necessarily a bad concept and not worthwhile, but holy fuck, the actual method of study is the dumbest shit I could possibly come up with.

There's a reason why locomotives, bundles of sticks, etc. love sociology, it's because it elevates them and tears down everybody else.

Sociology is just a massive cope for fucking weirdos.

The study of society and how individuals interact within systems is not necessarily a bad concept

Just become an armchair sociologist. Your opinion is better by definition than anyone who studied sociology academically. Your opinions are also just as falsifiable as theirs.

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That's because one of te tenets of sociology for the last 100 has been antipositivism.

That means numbers, stats and the cientific method are evil, it's much better to write fiction and hope one day it becomes true.

This is not a conspiracy theory, they say it upfront: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antipositivism

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Someone post that GVLDEN RETRIEVER pasta please

Think about it moids: why should ANY fo*d worth her salt choose a pathetic weak m*Le over a strong GVLDEN RETRIEVER? The GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't worry about silly things like "red flags" and "children" and "boob size" and "weight"; They see a tight, wet opening, they stick their dick in it, it feels good so they keep on going. They pound into your girlfriend with such force she is moaning, begging for more doggy cock. She is damn near pissing herself, but the GVLDEN RETRIEVER doesn't stop. His knot swells. Your girlfriend, mind blanked by orgasmic bliss, is bound to the GOLDEN BVLL for up to an hour while his Chad knot shrinks down, and her vaginal muscles milk every drop of GVLDEN RETRIEVER spunk. She will never look at you the same way again. Sex doesn't feel the same. She is "tired" most nights, yet you can hear the whimpering and moans from the bathroom when she takes Sparky in the bathroom to "take a shit with company". She tells you to go in the other room and "jerk it or something". You are ashamed. You are weak. You are crushed. But she will never love you again. Sparky plays with his chew toy.

Her stomach is swelling. That is strange, you think, as you two haven't had sex in about 4 months and you had just gotten a vasectomy, per r[slash]childfree advice. She tells you it's hormones, but you see the worry in her eyes, the fear lying behind her nonchalant expression. Fucking Sparky, looks up at you and almost smiles. The fucking MUTT, having the nerve to smile at you. In a time like this? Why are you so fucking angry at this dog? What did he do?

5 more months has passed. The "bump" on her stomach is huge now. You worry it may be a freak-case tumor or something of the like, but you now are pretty sure she cheated on you at some point. With who? When? But most importantly, why? Sparky looks at you again, but this time, his face is blank. He shits on the floor.

It is now obvious she's in labor. She decided against going to the hospital, for reasons you were unsure of. Probably read a Reddit post on tub births or something. In any case, she is in pain, and you are doing as much as you can to help her birth the baby, even though you just know it isn't yours. That's okay though. When you find out who the father is you will kill them. How could he do this to your girlfriend? Why did she let him? Where is he? What is his race? Is his cock bigger tha-

The baby is born. Or, rather, 6 babies are born? They are... furry. And yellow. And their ears are quite large. Holy shit. The fucking dog. Sparky. They look just like him! Except, they have human characteristics. They are grotesque to look at, you are sick to your stomach. You want to scream, to cry, to beg her to kill them, but she doesn't. She isn't doing much of anything actually. Just staring at them, with cold, dead eyes. She holds two up to her swollen breasts. They suckle, and whimper. They are alive. Sparky shits on the floor.

Mashallah

This is why we need Islam.

I'm sorry, what?

How have I not seen this before

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Incredibly off-topic but Fallout 4 is the only mainstream game where they acknowledge the 🐕💊.

You can play as a woman named Nora, her first encounter outside her hometown after knowing her husband is dead and her child has been kidnapped and its been 200 years is a German Shepard named Dogmeat at the Red Rocket.

Coincidence? I think not!

Dogmeat lmao

Fallout 4 is still an objectively good, yet janky, game.

Some nerds take it too fucking seriously. Like, if you want a good story, READ. A. FUCKING. BOOK.

(and no harry potter or swordshit like GOT doesnt count)

4's garbage just play new vegas again with nude mods this time

I like the gunplay in 4 tho.

New Vegas do be dope. Been a decade since I beat it. I think I joined the Boomer faction lol

Lost the charm of the fallout with the changes to the dialogue ad upgrade system, NV is always worth a revisit it's aged like fine wine especially with mods to smooth over some of the jank and make the shooting better

F-slurs literally can't let moids have anything for themselves.....

Moyds: tame and domesticate feral wolves to help hunt, herd and protect livestock from predators, protect family from intruders, win prize money from fights.

Foyds: gets reamed by red rocket

Imagine being this cucked

That URL seems to hint that earlier drafts were spicier.

Nobody cares about muh AMP and muh google.

This is the same cope as the net neutrality thing

I care. I don't want to give Google any of my personal data, and they ruin the design of the webpage

WWFD

YOU JUST KNOW

WGFD

FBGM

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"what's that dog doin"