EFFORTPOST Bored translator (or potential dramanaut?) from around the turn of the century does an "fcky wucky" while translating the Mahabharat, also known as India's great epic. Nearly 100 years later, millions of western conspiratards are now convinced that a nuclear war occurred in India thousands of years ago. [Effortpost]

If you ever spend time in any conspiratard circle, or ever spend time watching the herstory channel at night, youll most likely have heard about a supposed ancient nuclear exchange that occured in Endia.

It goes like this:

• Apparently the most radioactive skeletons ever found were located in the Indus valley

*At that site, the skeletons were found lying face down, many holding hands, suggesting a sudden and violent death

*a giant crater was found nearby that couldn't have been formed by a meteor due to the lack of iron in the area. the PH in the lake and material around the lake suggest an outburst of energy from a nuke caused it, most likely originating from the atmosphere

*Oppenheimer (the guy from the movie) was apparently quoted as having said that "this was first nuclear detonation in MODERN times"

*Ancient city walls and mountains were apparently vitrified by a sudden heat

But the biggest pieces of evidence, and what was pretty much what started the whole craze, were the supposed text excerpts from the mahabharat down below:

"Gurkha, flying a swift and powerful vimana,

hurled a single projectile

charged with all the power of the Universe.

An incandescent column of smoke and flame,

as bright as ten thousand suns,

rose in all its splendor.

It was an unknown weapon,

and iron thunderbolt,

a gigantic messenger of death,

which reduced to ashes the entire race of the Vrishnis and

Andhakas.

The corpses were so burned

as to be unrecognizable.

Their hair and nails fell out.

Pottery broke without any apparent cause,

and the birds turned white.

…After a few hours, all foodstuffs were infected…

…to escape from this fire,

the soldiers threw themselves in streams

to wash themselves and all their equipment."

"It was as if the elements had been unleashed. The sun spun

round. Scorched by the incandescent heat of the weapon, the

world reeled in fever. Elephants were set on fire by the heat and

ran to and fro in a frenzy to seek protection from the terrible

violence. The water boiled, the animals died, the enemy was

mown down and the raging of the blaze made the trees collapse

in rows as in a forest fire. The elephants made a fearful

trumpeting and sank dead to the ground over a vast area.

Horses and war chariots were burnt up and the scene looked

like the aftermath of a conflagration. Thousands of chariots

were destroyed, then deep silence descended on the sea. The

winds began to blow and the earth grew bright. It was a terrible

sight to see. The corpses of the fallen were mutilated by the

terrible heat so that they no longer looked like human beings.

Never before have we seen such a ghastly weapon and never

before have we heard of such a weapon. (59-60)

"

"anor aniyan mahato mahiyan

atmasya jantor nihito guhayam

tam akratuh pasyati vita-soko

dhatuh prasadan mahimanam atmanah

(Katha 1.2.20)"

Translated to English this means that the greatest of the great is hidden in the smallest of the small. This forms the basis for the atomic energy.

Around the middle of the 20th century, some Westerners came across the 2nd excerpt from above, and after the invention of nuclear warfare, it clicked to them that this passage seemed to remind them of something familiar... (uhh nukes lao)

Some of these Westerner's include:

Erich Von Daniken - A Swiss hotelier. If you ever heard of Ancient Astronaut theory, you can thank this guy. He managed to successfully psy op generations of gullible r-slurs into thinking that aliens nuked Sodom and Gomorrah lao). Recurring character in Ancient Aliens from the Herstory channel

David Hatcher Childress - main promoter of the nukes in Mahabharat theory. "Lost science" scholar, recurring character in Ancient Aliens from the Herstory channel. Time travel, tesla death ray, Atlantis, and antigrav truther.

Author's note - im crying bruh built like a groyper

It should also be noted that the ancient astronaut theory you have all heard about was built on this ancient Endian nuke hypothesis. You can thank Childress and Don Vaniken fooling nearly 10% of Western Youth into unironically thinking Ancient Aliens were real and influenced huwoman herstory

Anyways until literal decades later, there were people out there who literally thought that aliens nuked innocent BIBOC in the sands of India and elsewhere for no reason! And there was NOBODY to contest them!

Until you apply common sense, a little deboonking, and some actual research!

First off! an actual nuclear weapon, which produces a mushroom cloud, vaporizes the area beneath it, and then dissipates, this weapon described above is specifically said to be like a “smokeless fire.” It causes the sky to fill with clouds that rain blood, but instead of vaporizing those it hits, instead, it causes the air to boil, setting alight all around it. In an actual nuclear explosion, the blast force is the force that kills once one passes the hypocenter. And anyone who survived to describe the blast would by definition have been in the region where the blast wave overtook any flame. Outside the small area where the actual explosion occurs, the thermal radiation from a nuclear blast is intense, but brief, lasting perhaps one or two seconds. It can cause severe skin burns (but not light a person aflame). Thermal blasts can ignite highly flammable materials, though these do not include elephants or trees; nor

would it boil the rivers and seas

Regarding the lake, it was have found to have been created by a meteor thousands of years ago... also the ph thing was a myth. Lao

But you still find yourself asking? "Why, why are skeletons the most radioactive on the planet?!" Well the truth is that, they are not. But was this a genuine lie on Childress/ Don Vaniken's part? Well as it turns out, no! not at all!

The claim made by them that the skeletons were radioactive can be traced back to a book by soviet author Alexander Gorbovsky. Now you see Gorbovsky was also, being an innocent r-slur, and got the whole radioactive skeleton thing from a scientific paper made by Russian cosmologists/ herstorians.

The "whole radioactive skeleton" thing/ excerpt from the paper:

"According to recently received data from Mayneord, in the ribs of a man who lived 4000 years ago the radioactivity was approximately 50 times higher than in modern man."

But IT TURNS OUT that said scientists were also being innocent r-slurs, and it turns out that THEY got that claim from the british historian Mayneord.

And as you can tell from how things are turning out in this effortpost, Mayneord is ALSO an innocent r-slur/ victim of proto-dramanautry! Apparently he got that info from unknown sources we cant trace.

"It may be of interest that we have obtained - from the British Museum - the rib of an Egyptian who died almost 4,000 years ago. The total alpha activity is 0.34 micro-micro-c/gramme dried bone. This, the only piece of evidence we have, suggests that the natural alpha activity of human bone 4000 years ago was close to the mean value of our present-day bone specimens."

The above excerpt was taken from somewhere by an anonymous source, twisted to be 50 times the radioactivity value stated in the excerpt, and turned the Egyptian bone into that of an Indian . It was then passed on to Mayneord, who passed it to the soviet scientists, who passed it on to Gorbovsky, who passed it on to Don Vaniken, who passed it on to Childress, who passed it onto the herstory channel, and then to YOU. Bravo to this proto-dramanaut, a hero, legend, and inspiration too all. for baiting entire generations of gullbile westoids, and doing it for no recognition at all.

Author's note - I didnt know much about the skeleton thing and the anonymous troll until I did further research for this effortpost! If I did, I wouldve credited multiple proto-dramanauts in the title

We dont know why the skeletons' death seemed so sudden, as well as the walls being vitrified, but the most believed hypothesis is heat wave.

The Oppenheimer quote was completely fabricated by Childress and Don Vaniken lao. Even then, Oppenheimer was a hippie kook lets be honest

The main and only pieces of evidence left are the mahabharat quotes.

Remember how I said that Childress, Don Vaniken, and all other conspiratards got the base for the whole nuke thing from those excerpts? Well it turns out that if you check the 1.8 million words of the mahabharat, the first two excerpts don't even appear!

The first excerpt was crafted together from different texts in the book(s).

The thousand suns thing was taken from an excerpt about vishnu :

"Gratified with him, the holy one then showed Utanka that

eternal Vaishnava form which Dhananjaya of great intelligence

had seen. Utanka beheld the high-souled Vasudeva of universal

form, endued with mighty-arms. The effulgence of that form

was like that of a blazing fire or a thousand suns. It stood

before him filling all space. It had faces on every side.

Beholding that high and wonderful Vaishnava form of Vishnu,

in fact, seeing the Supreme Lord (in that guise), the Brahmana

Utanka became filled with wonder."

Down below is where the rats and pottery thing comes from:

"Day by day strong winds blew, and many were the evil omens

that arose, awful and foreboding the destruction of the Vrishnis

and the Andhakas. The streets swarmed with rats and mice.

Earthen pots showed cracks or broken from no apparent cause.

At night, the rats and mice ate away the hair and nails of

slumbering men. […] That chastiser of foes commanded the

Vrishnis to make a pilgrimage to some sacred water. The

messengers forthwith proclaimed at the command of Kecava

that the Vrishnis should make a journey to the sea-coast for

bathing in the sacred waters of the ocean."

Regarding the second excerpt, it is simply a fake translation

the true translation says:

"The very elements seemed to be perturbed. The Sun seemed to

turn round. The universe, scorched with heat, seemed to be in

a fever. The elephants and other creatures of the land, scorched

by the energy of that weapon, ran in fright, breathing heavily

and desirous of protection against that terrible force. The very

waters being heated, the creatures residing in that element, O

Bharata, became exceedingly uneasy and seemed to burn.

From all the points of the compass, cardinal and subsidiary,

from the firmament and the very Earth, showers of sharp and

fierce arrows fell and issued, with the impetuosity of Garuda or

the wind. Struck and burnt by those shafts of Açwatthāman

that were all endued with the impetuosity of the thunder, the

hostile warriors fell down like trees burnt down by a raging fire.

Huge elephants, burnt by that weapon, fell down on the Earth

all around, uttering fierce cries loud as those of the clouds.

Other huge elephants, scorched by that fire, ran hither and

thither, and roared aloud in fear, as if in the midst of a forest

conflagration. The steeds, O king, and the cars also, burnt by

the energy of that weapon, looked, O sire, like the tops of trees

burnt in a forest fire. […] Burnt by the energy of

Açwatthāman's weapon, the forms of the slain could not be

distinguished. (Ganguili Vol. 7, 678-679)"

The above excerpt describes not a bomb, but a flaming arrow machine gun-like weapon fired from the heavens.

Now this is where it gets REEL interesting. From what you have read, you would guess that Don Vaniken did the rewriting thing up on purpose. But it turns out, just like the whole soviet radioactive skeleton mentioned above earlier, this fake excerpt thing was the result of innocent r-slurs following the path set out to them by another innocent r-slur,,, or so it seems.

Anyways it turns out that Don Vaniken got the whole nuke excerpts thing from an English translation done by a mysterious "C. Roy" fellow during the 1890s. It turns out that C. Roy actually translated a german translation of an english translation of the sanskrit/ og version of the mahabharat back into english, and then rearranged paragraphs like the above, apparently in error

Now, you ask, why i say "apparently?" Surely Mr Roy couldnt have known about nukes in the 1890s, and then decide to devote effort to making it seem like ancient nuclear warfare occured in his life's work to troll gullible westerners?

Its because this Don Vanikens work was not the first time someone has been fooled into thinking a massive man made explosion occured in the Mahabharat. After his translation was published, it turns out that many western conspirtards were fooled into thinking not a nuke was detonated there, but a rather massive gunpowder explosion.

We don't know if C Roy did this on purpose, or if he was just being an innocent r-slur.

But we do know for certain that this proto-dramanaut managed to help fool millions of goyim half a world away that aliens really nuked ancient Indian cities for the lulz, and convince a tenth of Western young adults that Ancient Aliens changed their ancestors diapers or summ

Also shout out to that anonymous dramanaut for the radioactive skeleton stuff. This most likely wouldn't have happened if not for you!

The moral of the story is that conspiratards are dumb and the guberment should shoot them on sight. Updoot this post if you agree!