https://old.reddit.com/r/desimemes/comments/1fip57z/when_you_ask_a_kannadiga_to_speak_hindi_and_they/
fun fact I can't understand kannada or any monkey language at all. Panjabi and Hindi, yes. A bit of Bengali. But once you get to monkey languages, nnnnnooooo
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Não
But I am happy
it will be fricking changing to my last name because I straight up can't pronounce it.
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I read on the news that 2022 was the first year ever in which most recently married Brazilian foids didn't take their husbands's surnames. They simply don't want to bother with the paperwork anymore, meanwhile my grandma went through all the bureaucratic process to take off my granpa's surname and going back to her maiden surname after their divorce.
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Idk about Brazil
but that's one of those things weak man/strong woman 
pairing thing in the fricking USA. (I honestly think 
it's some weird 
domination thing idk)
Sometimes hyphenating both last names together
as one last name happens but it's pretty 
rare.
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Hyphenating is the Brazilian costume.
!macacos typically have 2 surnames, maternal then paternal (though this is not mandatory, my mom and my aunt only had my grandfather's surname until they got married). Once a foid gets married she'll typically add her husband surname to the end, people are called by their last surname (example, Marcela Tedeschi Araújo Temer, known simply as Marcela Temer or Michelle de Paula Firmo Bolsonaro, known simply as Michelle Bolsonaro), until the 1970s this was mandatory. My grandma said she removed her maiden surname and used solely my granpa's surname while she was married to him, I don't know how that works legally but that's them following kraut naming costumes which are the same as in the US (only one surname and the foid takes her hubby's name after marriage).
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Frick me after a fricking couple
of generations that'll get really 
darn long
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It doesn't, you pass solely your father's name and your foid passes solely her father's name.
Example:
João Rizetti Albuquerque marries Maria Fernandes Sampaio. She then becomes Maria Fernandes Sampaio Albuquerque.
Their son is named Pedro Sampaio Albuquerque (the surnames of both his grandfathers).
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The fricking surname of the fricking woman's father
becomes a fricking middle 
name then, b-word?
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are probably the two most common
naming conventions
it's also common to see names as
especially on old folx
where the 2nd name is homage to some kind of saint or biblical figure
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Eu com os meus dois nomes e dois sobrenomes. O meu pai é a mesma coisa, só a familia da minha mãe tinha costume de um só sobrenome mas eu percebo que isso é bem comum entre descendentes de alemães ou italianos.
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My fiancé family
doesn't seem to follow 
that for whatever 
reason but idk if that was fricking an immigration 
thing or just how their family 
does it.
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Is not a middle name, it's a surname and it has legal validity.
A middle name would be Pedro Miguel Sampaio Albuquerque, on this case Miguel is the "middle-name", though we call it "segundo nome" or "second name", I have a friend with a third name, there are plenty like that too. The mom's full name could be Maria Luisa Fernandes Sampaio Albuquerque, that's the name on her ID card, passport and other legal documents. Again, she would go socially as Maria Albuquerque.
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