The real Asian Street Food was not the Michelin Bib Gourmand awarded Oyster Omelettes I had in the morning

Nor a similarly Michelin awarded pork innards noodle soup that seemed to be hit so hard by inflation that they served us this in a huge bowl (we paid extra for the egg too)

But the random unsung street hawker hero you'll find at a random 7-11 or convenience store all around Asia (except Singapore because ) in the wee hours

Who might be smoking and talking shit with his buddies at the side but still notices you looking and asks you for your order

Whose menu probably made in notepad is simply "chicken", "pork", "beef", "seafood" with rice or one of the 819 types of asian noodles

Who then whips up the obvious choice of seafood instant noodles on the grill and tells you to frick off to the 7-11 first if you don't like to wait

Whose fricking culinary masterpiece hits you right in the nose when you take it out of the takeaway bag and into a proper bowl

Who mogs your cooking because your supper avoidant wife finishes half the bowl when you offer her a bite

Whose mastery of cooking 4 types of proteins with 820 types of carbs you'll never beat because you were never from the favelas

Sadly the only proof I have of him existing is this random chopstick, wedge of lime and random thai/asian seasonings in a non-descript plastic bag, but IYKYK

This post is fricking gay and unnecessary but enveloped my soul as I had the first REAL asian street food meal ever since fricking covid broke

And I still vividly remember it being a warm and comforting bowl of congee that I had while severely hungover/drunk in Phnom Penh a couple hours or five after midnight

That's why I know how to make congee: https://rdrama.net/h/food/post/229447/marseyitsoverwerebackchingchon-chiobus-silky-cantonese-congee-recipe

They even help to keep Asians relatively slim because:

• The serving sizes are just perfect

• 50% of the time it'll give you the shits anyway

!goyslopenjoyers plz try the asian goyslop if you ever come across it

God I feel like just taking that walk down a dark alleyway just to order another bowl right now

Neighbour did I really longpost over a $5 bowl of instant noodles

Worth it

Frick it I'll just do it for the pics brb

They were literally just cleaning up when I reached FRICK

AT LEAST I have some more proof of his existence

And the name of his stall is literally just "pad thai" bro I love you but that's not gonna help even if your genius was operating in Finland or something

But at the end of the day the absolute balls to call yourself "pad thai" because you know that you're the best and deserve it

Ok I'm going to bed sad now because it's like some love story where you missed "the one" by 5 minutes due to longposting on a orange cat enjoying homo forum good night

Also I should have lied that the noodles had thai estradiol or something so the !jannies would pin my effortpost but alas I guess that would be too many posts for their tastes thanks

Lmao suddenly thought of the "Sorrowful Rice" dish

went back tonight and was shocked but not really surprised that it was packed full of locals another testament to the chef's skills

gonna dig in now with some thai whisky for the full thai experience too, the place also makes oyster omelettes so I had to try since the Michelin ones were pretty meh

Update: Pad thai was amazing as usual and they should stick to that IMO oyster omelette tasted bad to me but maybe that's their style since I didn't like the other ones too the noodles though O M G

edit: alcohol purchase hours are so weird here because you're allowed to buy booze from 11am onwards till midnight except for a 3 hour period between 2-5 pm lol

something to take note of if you ever come to thailand

@chiobu was taunting me with delicious singaporean food while i was away from my kitchen, now that i'm home i made a bowl with his marsey on it + tried my hand at the recipe i've been thinking about for 2 weeks

original recipes: https://www.singaporeanmalaysianrecipes.com/bak-chor-mee-singaporean-noodles/#recipe https://www.singaporeanmalaysianrecipes.com/bak-chor-mee-singaporean-noodles/#recipe

my mayo version with subbed ingredients i could find here:

(most of the ingredients + marinating meats + soaking shrooms, u don't actually need 5 spice i got it out on autopilot)

120g flat egg noodles (dry), i used half wide, half thin

ground pork:

50g ground pork

2 tsp soy sauce

1/4 tsp white pepper

1 tsp cornstarch

1 tsp toasted sesame oil

sliced pork:

50g thinly sliced pork

1 tsp soy sauce

MSG MSG MSG

white pepper

broth:

pork stock from my freezer, ~1L (to make your own just boil bones and water)

1 bunch spring onions, use the butts

10 black peppercorns

1 star anise

2 tsp salt

MSG MSG MSG

2 tbsp dried spicy anchovies

shrooms:

30g dried shiitake

250 ml water

2 tbsp soya

1 tbsp fish sauce

1 tbsp chinese black vinegar

1 tsp sugar

toppings:

LARD

spam lmao

soya

chili oil (the fermented kind with peanuts :drool:)

shroom liquid

chinese black vinegar

broth

fish balls i made an undetermined time ago from my freezer

chopped spring onion

instructions

night b4:

soak shrooms in hot water, cover

day of:

meats: marinade the meats in separate bowls with the ingredients called for

stock: put everything from the broth category into a pot except the anchovies, cook for at least an hour, skimming if you notice blech on top. add anchovies, cook another 15 minutes, strain and keep stock hot

shrooms: put all the stuff from the shroom category in a pot, simmer for an hour or until the liquid has mostly absorbed, keep warm and keep extra shroom liquid

noodles: cook in boiling water silly

toppings and assembly: fry spam in lard cus you're a fat piece of shit, slice some shrooms, put fishcakes in your broth and cook them for a few minutes, put your meat in a skimmer in the broth and cook for ~1 minute (or until done to your liking) while stirring it around with your chopsticks so it cooks evenly, serve all of it over noodles along with however much vinegar/lard/chili oil/broth/shroom liquid that you like, add spring onions because vegetables means it's healthy

notes: would make fewer shrooms next time (maybe 15g) as my ratio was off, would figure out what pork i'm actually supposed to use (this actually a lie i would use spam 100% of the time because spam is the best), maybe use less fish sauce with the shrooms next time, i bet vinegar in the ground pork marinade would go hard

compared to the photos from the recipe i don't think i did too bad! < theirs mine>

overall 10/10 so glad i prepped extras so i can have it for a few days, no clue how people there stay while having this easily accessible, thank you chiobu for telling me about this!!!!

The review is a bit weird for modern standards, it never tells the readers if pizza is tasty.

thanks queen for inspiring me to go to the store and buy chef inspired pork to make a gourmet bardfinn sandwich

going to cut the rest of the quality pork filets up and throw them in some fried rice tomorrow with some spicy cabbage

does anybody have any soggy green beans btw

Stumbled across a thread full of upset kitchen workers sharing experiences working with a well known chef with many series and specials on Netflix - David Chang.

He recently popped up in news over attempting to trademark his version of a commonly used condiment (chili crisp - the most well known brand is Lao Gan Ma) as “Chili Crunch” and has been aggressively litigating against anyone attempting to use that name for their version of the condiment as well.

Here is the thread of various opinions on that particular incident

That thread does have a few references and an article about his dramamaxxing and love for punching holes in walls

Some fun excerpts of the perfect scary asian husband from the article:

“The slightest error or show of carelessness from a cook could turn me into a convulsing, raging mass”

Dave's rage for cooking what was deemed a subpar family meal: “I will scalp you,” Dave screamed. “I will murder your fricking family!”

“It didn't matter to me what your personal needs were. Any needs were indicative of frailty and I was of the mind that there was no place for weakness in our company.”

Various Chang seethe threads:

I knew David Chang was an butthole, but this is ridiculous…

David Chang buying the company that sued him for using their trademark, then proceeding to sue small businesses. Frick this guy.

PBS on David Chang's ‘Chili Crunch'

A review of David Chang's memoir by a former sommelier who suffered his abuse during his early Momofuku days

Young . Big Ego . Narcissist. Well you need to work with the shit heads before you appreciate the nice bosses you meet further down the road . Character building ! . Why you guys get so worked up anyways ? He's just a tv chef. Commercial money . Strip away all the glitz and glamour and social media tv validation . Not much of a chef there . Agreed ? Be happy for him he's succeeding at something . Somewhat like a Jamie Oliver . Not too much of a skilful chef but plenty of success . He found his niche .

David, it's time to put the internet down for the night.

Nobody liked him at work, everyone actively tried to stay out of his warpath. His whole m.o. was to “catch” any minor mistake in the name of quality assurance and then proceed to throw a level 10 tantrum. Swearing, death threats, throwing shit, kicking/denting anything in sight, it was a common occurrence. His style is 100% combative, he would never pull you aside to teach/train one on one. It was always a public humiliation, simply put he enjoyed being the victimizer/chief overlord.

Honest question, did no-one at any point just punch the fricking guy's lights out? Back in the day I worked with some genuinely scary, ex-con types who would have zero issues with fricking up an Asian Napoleon with a sautee pan.

I'd just wait for or even bait him to throw something my way so I can claim self defense and beat the ever loving shit outta him. Frick it if I'm gonna be blackballed anyway might as well be the dude who broke some ribs.

CHANG BANG'D

I worked 4 months as a dishwasher and it convinced me to never work professionally as a cook. It was so fricking toxic and I, at 16, was treated so horribly I had to blackmail my way into quitting

As someone with Korean heritage and the Asian flush gene I've been wondering - was he also half drunk all the time? Every time I happen to see a second of his cooking show he's always red. (I never watch that crap deliberately it's like stumbling on someone's home security feed)

I saw so much racism, bigotry, and homophobia from him. We would call it Chang Banging when he'd scream at someone. He would belittle the CDC in front of the cooks completely undermining their authority

I timidly ask, “hey chef can I get a picture with you?”

He stands in the dining room and shouts into the kitchen space, “who are you?” (He knew who I was as we had interacted multiple times and call me by my name)

I tell him I'm an intern. “No, why are you here?” “To learn under you.” I respond.

He asks about how long i have before i leave, and i tell him. To my surprise, he actually then offers me a job right then and there. He talks about the grandeur of taking me under his wing and will teach me everything he knows. Only catch is, I will not go back to school. I have to break up with my girlfriend (now my wife) and work for him. As temping as it was, I fumbled my words spitting out, “I have to talk about this to my girlfriend”.

3 management level chefs stood by me as this conversation continues. David points to each of the chefs and asks them if they have girlfriends. They all basically say no because they have no time for relationships. “If these frickers are willing to sacrifice their relationships to achieve this level of cooking, you should too if you will ever amount to anything.”

He loudly shouts for someone to get a timer and then says that I have 5 minutes to decide. I run downstairs and run into my chef. Explain the situation as fast as I could as I'm freaking out. Once in a life time opportunity but also the terrible feeling of leaving behind my girlfriend , friends, and potentially letting my family down by not finishing out a full ride scholarship.

I ultimately decided that I will not take his offer. Before I finish thanking him for the opportunity, he yells at me and tells me “good fricking luck. I can't wait to see you on an employee of the month placard in a motel 6 in bumfrick Wisconsin. And no, you don't work for me anymore, so you will not get a fricking picture.”

He left an oven door open without calling "oven" and one of our line cooks walked into it when trying to get out of his way and got a serious burn on their leg from the over door. Chang laughed at them and told them to "get over it."

He sounds dreamy.

As a bonus, here's one of my favorite of his recipes for mul kimchi.

• 1 head napa cabbage, roughly chopped into 2 inch pieces

• 1 tbsp salt

• 2 scallions with bulbs trimmed & halved lengthwise

• 1 thinly sliced carrot

• 2 large red Fresno chiles, seeded and thinly sliced

• 1 tbsp rice vinegar

• 1 1/2 cups 7UP soda

• 1 bunch of watercress, leaves only

Toss together cabbage and salt in a large bowl, and squeeze to slightly soften leaves. Place a small plate, weighted with a heavy can on top, directly on cabbage to release liquid. Let stand at room temperature 1 hour.

Drain and discard cabbage liquid. Add scallions, carrot, chiles, and vinegar to cabbage; toss to combine. Pour soda over vegetables, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. Mix watercress into kimchi just before serving.

The offending post: Little country boy trying his hand. How'd I do with spaghetti and meatballs?:

Frick that fake tilt shift, who thinks it looks good? 75% of the picture is blurred. I also hate the title, but that's not why we're here.

The top comment:

Good but not Italian, we don't put meatballs on spaghetti, that's american [+81]

So you're telling me that in the entire history of the nation of Italy, no one has ever put a meatball on top of spaghetti? [+4]

We first eat pasta, then as the second plate we eat meatballs [+1]#

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So basically if you have two Italian foods and you eat them separately, it's Italian. But if you put them on the same plate it's not Italian. Like I said, dumbest thing I've ever heard. [+1]

Well my nonna used to make spaghetti and meatballs ...

Death to all nonna-posters

you can do whatever you want with your food, but it's not Italian. [-1]

The gatekeeping in this sub is off the charts. [+1]

Enter /r/iamveryculinary

Did somebody say "gatekeeping" in a food subreddit? /r/iamveryculinary's monitoring dashboard lights up like a Christmas Tree and it gets reposted there: Someone posted meatballs in the Italian sub. The whole thread is bickering and probably unseen gesturing.

As always the comments are full of hilarity, these really are witty redditors:

If an Italian makes a ball out of meat, they die instantly.

No, the spontaneous combustion only happens when the meatballs touch pasta.

Hot take: if we subtract all the dishes that get eliminated by that sub as "not Italian," Italian cuisine would not be voted the most popular cuisine in the world any more

Where would Italian cuisine be without hot pockets and the Little Caesars lunchtime special?

My hot take is that I don't think Italians do themselves any favors by hyping up Authentic Italian Cuisine(tm) so much. I've been to Italy and I was actually mildly disappointed by the food there at first, I think because it was so ridiculously hyped up in my head.

I'd love to see this Redditor's holiday pictures

Wait until you see all the mean comments I get for my perfectly dark and precisely reproducible roux for gumbo. The Cajuns go beserk when I say I made it in the microwave instead of wasting 30 minutes stirring it on the stove like their memaw, lol. This is, of course, after they've tasted it and liked it.

This post is sponsored by this week's anti-gatekeeping campaigner @Not_a_R-slur. I'd like to thank @Lappland for his weeks of dutiful service and I wish him a happy retirement.

The banana slices are on a layer below the top layer

!grillers

I just ran into these today. My mom always insisted i do not get them, even though by the time i raised my courage to ask for some, i have already eaten moist dog food, thinking maybe i just didnt try the right one. Because it was heckin nasty

these Michelin spots are a pile of bologna. Buncha pretentious, high brow, nonsense smoke and mirrors for tiny bites of crap

surprise, surprise, the former chef has a different opinion than the guy who thinks there's nothing special about Michelin starred restaurants.

Calories.... 2 McDoubles = 800 1 small fry = 365 1 small drink = 150 1315 calories...

Eh, they wouldn't want a loser like you in there anyway

There isn't all that much inter-personal drama yet, it's more one cohort beating their chest signalling that they're too smart to pay for air and the other calmly and politely explaining the context, but with a real possibility of either group losing patience with the other, I reckon that the thread may develop explosively.

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1bz4t0v/a_floating_bubbly_dessert_has_redditors_foaming/?sort=controversial

I'm going to put as much effort into this rereview as they put into their menu revitalization, which is to say not much.

They didn't actually fix or solve anything of substance. All they did was remove mustard from all menu items, add cheese to a couple sandwiches, and call it a day. I'm serious, they did jack shit. I only went here with other people, and they like mustard so they don't want to go back. By extension I'm not going back to Panera either. Good riddance.

Also: https://www.reuters.com/business/panera-loosens-animal-welfare-ingredients-standards-ahead-ipo-internal-documents-2024-03-06/

Lmao that was about the only thing they had going for them... I'll stick with Subway if I want low quality sandwiches.

The original post is this disgusting-looking /r/food post: [i ate] a deluxe Italian sandwich:

Someone points out that this has nothing to do with Italy:

Wikipedia doesn't say to use 5kg or random mixed meat and 5 grams of veggies. Wrong proportion and wrong ingredients. It doesn't make sense to do it like this.

But I guess it's the “American way”. ==> American sandwich

They get downvoted to -221 and crossposted to /r/iamveryculinary: Italian learns what an "Italian" sandwich is and immediately becomes the authority on why OP is making it wrong

Let's see what angry Redditors have to say:

Eep pray this guy never learns about French toast.

I don't understand this, French toast is something that they actually eat in France.

I just imagine some dude sitting on the potty angrily commenting on a small picture of a sandwich on his phone.

Just like you sitting on the potty angrily commenting on a comment on a small picture of a sandwich on his phone.

Why is immigration and ancestry such a difficult concept for some people to understand?

Peepeeheads pretending to be Italians and the 'No true Scotsman' fallacy, name a more iconic duo

You mean like someone who calls it an Italian sandwich?

@KONGLAND for once I'm begging you to see the light.

!goyslopenjoyers

Takoyaki

Tastes amazing. Just love going down my local Chinese owned, Korean employee sushi joint and getting some takoyaki skewers.

!goyslopenjoyers !sodadrinkers

Just like cast iron, redditors are way too precious about this stuff.

My aunt gave me some leftover food from Easter and I wanted to share some of the finest Polish cuisine with people from around the world, and no better place to do this than this cosmopolitan platform.

So, here is traditional Polish Easter cake the Mazurek:

I'm pretty sure it is Mazurek with almonds, rains and... stuff.

Of course that's just the dessert. I also got traditional jars of meat:

It is indeed real meat. I emptied one of the jars into a bowl so you can take a better look:

It's not yet heated up so forgive the floating clumps of fat, but you can tell its fine meat indeed.

I also had a cheesecake, but sadly no pictures, I ate it already because it actually looked edible.

Well, that's it. It may not be much, but I'm sure those pictures say a thousand words each. I do hope I didn't make any of you too hungry.

Anyway, I'm off to eat some of these delicious specialities, it's not everyday I get to dine on such fine food. I sure love getting unidentified leftovers.

Used cherry wood for mild sweetness. Finished by basting with a mixture of butter, garlic, lemon juice, parsley, and Parmesan cheese.

It was pretty good, if I had to do it again I would've smoked for longer at a lower heat.

I've been making so much bourguignon recently that I've started to get sick of it. One good thing about it though is that you can prep it in advance for the week and make mash/gnocchi/pasta as required without it tasting like leftovers. I was looking for something similar to make and came across gumbo. Food from that part of the US always looks good in photos but I've never had the opportunity to try some that was made by someone who knew what they were doing. The closest thing to it that I've tried was one of my attempts at jambalaya, but I put in too much paprika and ruined the flavour of the whole thing. When looking at the recipe for gumbo, I saw that it uses similar spices and also needs roux. I don't store excess oil from my cooking and the thought of mixing flour and frying oil to make the foundation of a dish was . I figured that cuisine from Louisiana is already pretty French so substituting parts of the recipe for more French versions might work out.

Here I started prepping some celery, green peppers, and onion/garlic. I wasn't spoiled for choice in terms of smoked sausage so I just got chorizos.

I also added some chopped up beef chuck steaks

First step is to crisp up the meats

Pop them back in their bowels and start frying up the onion/celery/peppers

Once the onion is looking nice and brown, add in some tubs of tomato paste, crushed tomato, a bottle of Pinot noir, and beef stock

Add the meat and throw it into the oven at 350 for a while.

After 30 mins mine looked like this - OK, but feeling a bit empty. I added some more celery and onion, and also added 7 teaspoons of flour to thicken it up. After that, back in the oven until it has had at least 2 hours cooking time.

This was it at the end. My whole house smelt like a pizza shop and it tasted great. I made some rice to go with it seeing as that's how most do gumbo

In the end, it wasn't that bad! Much better than the jambalaya I had previously made which was done by following a recipe. My only mistake here was in adding some supermarket Cajun seasoning. Just a teaspoon of it changed the smell of the whole thing and I'm curious to try it with any paprika. I also need to find a noncancerous place to look at southern US recipes

Also did a blue cheese and bacon salad with a simple red wine vinagerette, some roastie potatoes, and smoked sweet corn salad with a cilantro lime dressing

Spiders found inside seafood boil pic.twitter.com/O5zJw160j0

— Champagne Sloshy (@JoshyBeSloshy) March 13, 2024

Not a lot of drama cause everyone agrees this is not bussin at all.

This is Schwabphohic chud:

FALSE EQUIVALENCY:

Seems like bipocs are divided on the (((onion))) issue -

In this economy we eat the everything on the plate:

Might as well eat dead old folk at this point:

Tbf it was only a matter of time before this got bought up:

Facts:

!goyslopenjoyers run, don't walk to maccas for the Surf & Turf burger. The west may have fallen but goyslop is healing. The days of "healthy" offerings are hopefully behind us, and no longer will we be sold grilled chicken wraps and other hippy garbage.

This burg is peak slop, pinnacle of American innovation. TWO beef patties on a classic bun sandwiching a fish filet, pickle and cheese.

The placement of the patties both above and below the fish was a brilliant move (my burg differed from the one pictured). The pickles add a much needed tang to the fish, which is in itself delectable. Finished off with a garnish of ketchup and mustard, who could possibly ask for more? It's the first time in ages a maccas burg left grease on my fingers. 11/10