The Big Lebowski

If it didn't have Jeff Bridges no one would even pretend it's good. It's not funny, it's not compelling, it's not interesting. It's awkward and bland.

Trainspotting

Waoaow so deep

Black Swan

Circa 2019:

Full Metal Jacket

If it had just been the first act when they're in basic stretched for the full runtime it would have been decent. Instead it was trash. Pyle killing the DS was trash. The transition to Vietnam was trash. Vietnam was trash. The ending was trash. The best that can be said about Kubrick is he's sometimes capable of creating something almost watchable. FMJ is not.

The Shining

My fricking god I hate Kubrick. Spend less time filling drawers that won't be opened while the cameras are rolling with completed paperwork and realistic office minutiae so you can jerk off to interviewers about what an auteur you are and more time picking a story to adapt to film that isn't shit.

Jaws

It's literally a fricking shark just stay out of the water and drop some poisoned chum off the pier or something holy shit

Saw (the original and the franchise)

I don't even know if this is a liked IP or anything and I don't see how it can be given the quality of every single one of them but they've made like a gorillion all with theatrical releases so I assume it's beloved for some reason and I cannot even begin to guess at why

Brüno

Borat was the only time Sacha Baron Cohen has ever been funny and following it up with Brüno really hammers this home. LOL HES GAY and LOL THERES A PEEPEE ON SCREEN SO RANDOM AND GAY

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

How Kaufman went from this soulless contrived piece of shit to the apex of cinema (Synecdoche New York) one film later is nothing short of miraculous. The one thing Sunshine has going for it is that it literally proves that SNY was divine intervention.

Audition

You can suss out a fake kino enthusiast by asking them if they liked Audition. Normal people will generally not know what you're talking about (some will but they won't feel very strongly about it) and these r-slurs will gush about how good it is. It's not good. Nothing fricking happens and not in an interesting way. The tedium only serves to try and enhance the effect of the long-awaited Occurence which manages to be less interesting than the monotony. It's a terrible film.

Clerks

Someone is inevitably going to post the haha try not to suck any peepees on your way through the parking lot clip in response to this statement but there is not a single funny line in Clerks, let alone a funny scene. Dante is a loser who quips back and forth with Darrell or whatever who is also a loser. Constantly. It's all so quippy and tiresome and not a single one lands. Clerks would be improved with a laugh track so then at least we could get funny YouTube edits like CLERKS NO LAUGH TRACK with it removed like people did for Big Bang Theory to illustrate how unfunny it is. Kevin Smith is a fat humorless moron, and if someone likes Clerks there's a good chance they are too.

Preface

Anno is best known for his work in animation, however he has written and worked on a handful of live-action films as well. Of those most well known are probably the new Godzilla and Ultraman films, which I have no interest in because it's basically Japanese capeshit, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that he also made a slightly less known film, an art-house drama about a burnt out apathetic doomer and a schizo bpd foid who simultaneously desire each others' presence but hate the idea of emotional intimacy.

If that sounds like a certain other piece of his you'd be correct, and the similarities don't end there. However I want to say that it is sad in a way that that IP became as big as it is, because it is now inevitable that any work Anno ever puts out will be viewed through the lens of and compared to his Magnum Opus, and it is my belief that this movie has its own two legs to stand on and should be experienced as its own thing rather than as some sort of companion piece or additional commentary. As such, to avoid eclipsing this movie, I will not be comparing it to the show in question and in fact will even avoid naming it. Make no mistake though, if you come into this movie having seen it you will see the parallels and be able to clearly recognize it as Anno's work.

Summary and my interpretation

The film begins with a tired Director who had a streak of bad luck returning to his childhood town, where he meets a woman lying on the train tracks. They do a bit of chitchat and it quickly becomes apparent that there's something wrong with the woman. Despite that, a mutual connection forms and they decide to spend the days together. During that time it becomes apparent that the woman is not simply disturbed in the classical sense, but rather she is charmed. Each day she must perform a ritual, a sequence of events which is what keeps her alive, and each day she proclaims that tomorrow is her birthday. The rest of the film centers around these two characters trying to understand each other throughout the 31 days that they spend together, but not without discovering something about themselves in the process. While the film itself has no supernatural elements and everything we see is self inflicted, it very much reminds me of a fairy tale, particularly something like Sleeping Beauty- just as the prince tries to understand and break the curse in order to save the princess, so does the Director try and discover what it is that forces the woman to act in this particular way, and he does so by every day getting a small tidbit of information about who this woman is and her mysterious past. Whilst very secluded, it is obvious that the woman desires Director's company, however she never lets him get close as there is something that prevents her from being able to fully open herself. She is clearly vulnerable, and so shields herself from anyone who might become close and hurt her. Similarly the Director feels loneliness and attempts to connect with this woman, but often gets shut down by her hostility and grows increasingly annoyed of what he believes are her attempts at escapism- seeing her behaviour as an escape into a fantasy land where nothing is real and nothing can hurt her, which is so disassociated from reality that even time doesn't pass, hence the woman being stuck in this routine and proclaiming about her upcoming birthday, which never comes. The Director himself is the complete opposite, being tired of running away from problems and wishing to live in the real world where things actually happen and matter. I suppose it is ironic given how he literally fled Tokyo to escape his work problems. In wanting to be together, the Director desires to pull the woman out of her escapist fantasies, but similarly the woman tries to pull the Director into her imaginary world, which is clearly seen in her desire for him to be around all the time and in her expressing sadness when left alone. She want him to become another object in her fantasy, so anything that breaks his permanence and causes him to disappear, or anything that shows him as an individual- like interacting with other people, taking phonecalls or talking to women- evokes jealousy, as then he is no longer hers.

By this point I was sure that this is a movie about love and difficulties of relationships and honest human connections, but it wasn't entirely the case. Instead the movie turned to exploring the causes of such self-damaging behaviors. We get to learn relatively early on that the woman was damaged by events within her family- her father and sister are dead, and her mother leaves aggressive messages on her phone, begging for her to come back, which she ignores. The sorrow weighs heavily on this woman as any time there is rain it reminds her of these people and she secludes herself further. She is unable to fall asleep because the idea of being left alone crushes her, yet at the same time she hates the idea of s*x because it requires fully opening up to another human.

Further down the road we get to know that it isn't actually the sorrow from the loss of loved ones that haunts her, but rather her perceived guilt. She believes to be complicit in the death of her sister which came as a result of their dispute over a man, and it is coupled with the neglect she experienced from her mother as we come to find that there was emotional abuse in the household she grew up in. Her mother similarly chased her father away, for which the woman was never able to forgive her. As a matter of fact, she placed what she believed was a curse on the mother which would kill her on the woman's birthday. As you might have figured by now, she later regretted this decision and in an attempt to not have to live with the burden of her past crimes she isolated herself from the world. To avoid her mother's death, she postpones her birthday every day. However for that she is also punished, as not having killed her mother in life, each night she has to relive and experience killing her in her own imagination. This naturally leads the Director to a way to break this curse, which comes at an opportunity to reunites the woman with her mother and finally allowing them to reconcile their feelings. During this some factual misconceptions are also cleared up, as it is revealed that the woman's sister is actually alive, so perhaps the talk of death was in a more metaphorical sense, or perhaps the guilt weighed so heavily on the woman that it distorted her perception. This interaction with her own mother clearly affects the woman deeply as we see her change before our eyes and start showing emotions that we haven't seen from her before. In this way she finally begins to crawl out of her shell and into the real world, being shown that it is not as hostile as she was made to believe. But she is not the only one that's changed, as throughout the film we see the Director too opening up more and more, as she encouraged him to be more playful, more cheerful, and to chase the things he actually wants to do and values instead of going down the predetermined path carved out by society.

The movie ends with the woman marking a date in the calendar and announcing her actual birthday, thus showing that the curse has finally been broken.

Closing thoughts

This is a very heartfelt, welcoming movie which feels nice to watch after so many tough and cynical ones. It is not for everybody and not quite straightforward, but I'd say it goes into the lifefuel category and earns a 7.5/10 from me. Being an artsy film it is also just pleasant to look at- the shots and settings are beautiful and alien and there is a lot of play with the colour red. Though I think there's only 1 musical track through the entire film, that piano jingle is very memorable. The film also nails the feeling of loneliness and isolation, as besides the main 2 characters there's maybe 3 scenes where you ever see other people, and the spiritual barriers between these two characters lead to awkward interactions which feel very human and close, yet at the same time distant. It's a story about 2 people wanting to fall in love with each other and being unable due to their own shortcomings, okay? Not unlike the characters, the film has a few issues of its own however, mainly that it feels like it drags on at some points, but then whizzes past at others, especially closer to the end. There are also some plot points that feel redundant or unfinished, or at least I was not able to fully catch on to their meaning. Still, it serves as a very poignant criticism of escapism, after watching it I have a newfound desire to live and experience things, in spite of all the darkness that may exist in this world. As unabomber once said: Put ya darn phone down

It does feel very much like Anno's work though. It is unmistakable that he made this film.

Getting to see the movie

So I actually had a lot of trouble trying to find this film and went through a lot of hoops to get it. From what happened to rdrama movie nights I understand that Aevann doesn't like us sharing copyright-infringing material on here directly so I will not be posting a download link in this post. However, if you cannot find it online PM me on here I will see about uploading the movie and the subtitle files I have (afaik a dubbed version doesn't exist) and sending you the link.

This offer is available in perpetuity- if you decide to watch it in 10 years and I'm still active on here, I'll keep my word

Conner is great and this is a masterpiece

I had this on my to watch list ever since it was released and somehow never got around to it. A highly rated film about someone stuck on Mars? I expected the plot to be something like a man contemplating dying alone on a distant planet, something heavy and philosophical. I did not expect Science: The Film

That was the worst banter I've ever heard and frick they kept doing it for the whole 2 and a half hours. Half the script was just quips that were so bad even Marvel didn't wanna use them.

And why did Matt Damon eat all the time. Showing a character eating is a clever strategy tbh to make people dislike that character because it kind of grosses people out but why are you doing it to the protagonist ffs

The actual science was also Marvel tier. I lold how he made some fancy GUI chat application with animations and etc by typing in a few hexadecimal numbers into a grid.

I could kind of sense the subject matter expert they got in screaming in the background of the writers room and the redditors writing this shit going hmmm but no that's not le epic science enough he needs to shoot air out of his hands and make iron man jokes

I'd just class this as another crappy forgettable cheesy scifi but look at this

wtf is going on

Jon is streaming it on YouTube too

Season 1 finale ep is up for poorcels

Redditors hate ads and almost always attack anyone foolish enough to let this happen

You Goyim WILL be consuming your interracial streamer spaceshit won't you? Think of your social credit score before you decide chuds

A great heroic story dating back to the 19th century… The story of the history written with blood and heroism by a handful of desert Bedouins who fought against a powerful and great country… Italy, which decided to restore the glory of the magnificent Rome in the days when the atmosphere of war surrounded Europe, goes on a land hunt in 1911. . The target is Libya and all the cities of the country are besieged and occupied. The war comes to a stalemate when the indigenous people resist the occupation. Fascist oppression of Mussolini's dictatorship, which started in Italy in the following years, extended to Africa. But the war dragged on for twenty years as the local population resisted the oppression with increasing strength. Ömer Muhtar, who was a teacher before the occupation and loved and respected by the people, became the pioneer and symbol of the resistance. A handful of desert Bedouins defend their country with courage and heroism, inflicting great losses on the Italians. Mussolini, who has no patience, wants Mukhtar to be caught and the resistance to be ended by concentrating all his power on Libya for a definitive victory. And for this, he sends his most trusted name, General Graziani, who likes blood, to Libya. Graziani will understand that it is not easy to bring Ömer Muhtar and his men to their knees.

Original Title: THE LION OF THE DESERT

Director: Moustapha

Akkad Cast: Anthonny Quinn, Oliver Reed, Irene Papas, Raf Valone, Rod Steiger, John

Gielgud Production : 1980-Libya

Genre: War

If you watch the whole video he broke is hand 20minutes earlier on a practice jump for this stunt. Reminder that he is also the only man to do a double backflip at competition

He also does other non moto stunts

He also drives NASCAR interestingly enough

I love the OP so much I'm screaming

GRETA =

Key Take Aways

(This means you should take notes cute twinks)

Market everything to teenage to mid-twenties white foids (aka Swities ) and you'll make bank

The Creator:

AI and robots get developed in not so distant future. They nuke LA, which triggers a war between AI and humans. But not all humans. United Asian nations still develop and coexist with AI, while The West helmed by The Americans wages war on robots everywhere, even (or mostly) on foreign soil. Main character is an American tasked with destroying a secret weapon, but the situation takes a turn when that weapon turns out to be a very special robot child.

I heard mildly positive reviews of this film, so when my father asked me to watch it, I was eager.

Whoa. What a pile of shit.

Fight choreography:

It was bad or non-existent throughout, just blind shooting with shots seemingly having 100% or 0% of accuracy depending on situation. Cars are bullet Energy projectile(?) proof, Bombs (and even grenades) beep and have visible counters on them. All the staples of a very good action sci-fi.

The script:

It's never strong, but It starts alright (6/10 probably), and it takes its time until it descents into true garbage. But when it reaches the finale it's really, really bad, absolute shit tier.

The government tasks the only person they shouldn't with destroying the super-weapon, and he has to use some stupid EMP gun, (with a stun option), instead of just beheading the child like they should. There is so much bullshit after that point that I can't even bother to point it out. The escapade on NOMAD that out „heroes” are having is contrived to the extreme, everything just all falls into place for them to achieve their goals. There was one thing I loved: during the sad goodbye scene our protagonist says to the child „I'm dying because of you.” while trying to comfort it. That was unintentionally hilarious.

Finally the ending reunion with the wife robo-clone in a (tomato?) field… I had no words for that, it just made me scream from pain because the cringe was killing me.

Yet, with all that, my biggest problems with the film are actually with characters and the meta of the AI vs humans conflict.

The Characters:

They are mostly flat and boring. That's my critique of that. Outside of the main character and the robo child everyone is one dimensional cardboard cutout.

Personal nitpick:

One minor meta reason is the reverence this film shows to eastern tradition with its monks and all the other spiritual stuff, when I can't remember the last film with a priest that is not a p-do.

It seems preferential and biased, but that's just me.

The big problem – The thmes and central conflict: AI vs humans:

While explored many times before, it's very topical in today's world. From the start it's obvious our hero will learn robots are human too. Naive and stupid, but whatever, it's a perspective.

Then we properly meet The Americans and yes they are a bit one dimensional and on the bad side, but that one older lady has a valid reason to hate robots. Her backstory also gives us a perspective on how the robots and their friends are maybe not so pure and innocent. Most people will forget that before the end of the film however, because from that point onward The Americans are just pure evil (and sometimes pathetic) while the robots are more and more good and sympathetic.

It's actually fascinating how nuance evaporates over time. In the tail end of the film, the AI side consist only of old bot-people, peaceful robo monks, children (who I'm convinced are created by cloning, since all adults around them are seemingly robots) and poor underdog rebels who can't shoot for shit.

What is even more baffling is that Humans vs AI is not the central conflict in the end. It turns out: actually robots didn't blow up LA, it was the humans making a mistake. The whole conflict is based on false premises, and The Americans know that. They are secretly creating androids and some robo octupus (as well as intelligent AI suicide robots for some fricking reason). I assume they just want AI monopoly or something. I wouldn't be surprised if there is a deleted scene where it is revealed that the military lady son was killed by government to radicalize her. It's comical how shallow the conflict becomes.

The moment that convinced me to create this wall of text is our main character saying to the military lady „are you playing God now?” while she is cloning brain of a dead person. He says that when his wife created a super advanced evolving artificial human. It's hilariously tone-deaf and indicative of the absolute lack of thought put into the themes this film was pretending to explore.

The real message is: „what if robots were good?”, but delivered in a shitty backhanded way, and with robots that are actually humans mostly diffrentiated by having weird heads. Their humanity is never discussed, the film treats that as a given. They are humans but machines. Yet I'm left to wonder, who programmed them to be so good and righteous, and why? And maybe they are not actually people if the only thing they are capable of is being good?

Conclusion:

It's bad.

Special effects and sound were great, too bad they are wasted on this garbage.

The Creator is Neil Blomkamp's Elysium/10.

Funny thing- I actually LOVE the story of Last of Us Part Two.

But what the 4Channers did was a county mile better than the game itself, and that was BEFORE the finale when they actually ANIMATED the scene they malded about EXPERTLY.

It's a perfect use of a [DISCOUNT] Beatles song too. Jesus, the neurodivergents that did this need an agent, not a prescription

They were alright I guess.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt30007864