Also my peepee doesn't work. It used to be 8" hard but I'm a major grower (not a show-er) so it's tiny. This mouth works though.
Also I have a boat named "All Abort!" but I haven't finished restoring it yet.
AMA.
39[M]/Michigan, unemployed art-school dropout with a $600/month raccoon problem. My DMs are open, ladies.
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Show penas
Also wtf why are you people so old
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I'm sorry for your loss.
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No body shaming.
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t.
@sneedman
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!friendsofkong
I missed this. The coon God really dropped his peepee?
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Your peepee is almost as beautiful as your army of
.
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Millennials are 40 now.
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I'm a millennial and I'm not even 30.
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Zoomer began in 95' buddy
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You're not a millennial then. You were born mid/late 90s and don't count. You're an old butt zoomer.
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Got to see his peepee pic. Therefore I win
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The pic was my request
kneel peasant
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Absolute kitty demolishing material
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Weirdly, I think he'd do well in New York and the fricking surrounding areas of the fricking Northeast.
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He seems like the type that aging art hoes go crazy for
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Why do you spend so much on the raccoons? How many pounds of food is that?
Also what happened to your peepee
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I can't just stop feeding them. They rely on me. It's like 200lbs per week.
I went on Abilify for treatment-resistant depression and Tourette's and it works wonders except for the fact it's completely killed my ability to get hard.
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F
And yeah I'm not saying starve them but if you bought them cheapo bulk dog food the costs would go way down (unless you're giving them hundreds of pounds per month)
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I'm already giving them the cheapest store-brand slop.
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What about giant bags of like gorilla chow?
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That's for bulking dumbass why would you give it to a raccoon?
!fitness
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1 gorilla chow coon = 1 strong 10 year old
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Bruh
I refuse to believe that you're feeding them 1200 pounds of food per month. That would have to be like a hundred raccoons
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I've got about sixty of them in my care.
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Found him !nooticers is this the guy?
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Ohhh... I actually got mixed up in my memory at some point and I thought this really was him.
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Your coons do not look as hardy as the ones in the video.
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Welp. About time for me to head out to the Walmart in the next town to grab more stray cats..... gotta stay on top with quality AND quantity of cat posts
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You heard about cat ladies but have you heard about raccoon gentlemen, b-word?
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Where tf have YOU been, sweaty?
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I mean I knew about his raccoons but I didn't know he was going this hard lmao
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I'm just waiting for the newspaper article about the guy with many luxury cars who got eaten by his pet racoons.
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60 coons a lot man.
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Why?!
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Don't they have really toxic poop?
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So you're not depressed anymore?
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No I still am. It was working really well until about a week ago but I got some devastating news that I can't share with anyone and it's kicked me back into the doldrums.
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So what's the difference between being on and off the pills? What does being depressed even feel like?
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Off the pills I start playing with my gun.
Hopelessness, no motivation.
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Have you tried exercise? Broken peepee is a deal breaker. (Raccoons are a plus!)
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I'm gonna try peepee pills.
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Woot's darkest arc begins.
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Glad we now have a dedicated space for the site's 700,000 straggot moids to fight over the arms and legs and torsos of our, like, seven foids.
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We have at least 12 confirmed bio-foids.
They're all mayo lovers though
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$600/month?
Are they completely reliant on you now? If you stopped feeding 
them would they die or would they find trash to consoom?
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Some have lived their entire lives being hand fed by me.
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Is "all Abort" also your attitude towarda children?
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Yeah I tell people I'm a gynecologist
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You should start steroids and start dosing the coons so they can follow you around like a squad ripped to the tits
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Would you give my info to the raccoons?
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They have their ways of extracting info.
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I love them
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Just show them your cars and racoons!
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I need to clean my room and get my teeth fixed first.
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It's not a bad idea.
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SMASH THE NECROMATRIARCHY
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