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I haven't seen any posts trying to piece together this whole drama, which is a shame since it's funny af, so I took upon the task of compilating it in chronological order for everyone else.
The Beginning
It all started when @Marsey made some gay post about his pet mountain lion, as most things usually do.
Users were less than impressed with this post, with some even doubting the validity of his claims, calling him a schizo and fat (lol fat), one user in particular @Schizo asked for a source to validate his unfounded claims.
A few days later, @Marsey posted proof of this so called "mountain lion"
I'll save you the trouble of looking through these images and just outright tell you that there is no mountain lion in any of them, just a bunch of trees and fairly amateur photography. Nothing important, with the exception of this photo.
First Blood
User @SodaJerk noticed that @Marsey's hand looks fat, drama ensued after he pointed out this little factorino.
That forearm is looking a little doughy there big guy
Lmao the audacity of anyone on this site talking to me about fitness. It's called muscle you fricking twink. Also my wrist is angled away from the camera downward which makes it look thicker.
Edit: here's a more normal wrist shot with one of my other watches you morons as you can see there is no problem here my wrists and hands are perfectly formed just like the rest of my Herculean body that's just a bad photo
You're a daily poster on an obscure alternative social media site. The odds point to you being either a fat or a wristlet, and now I know you're not a wristlet
Also downdoots still give me dramacoin
I am fricking not lol people just think that because my average post quality is so high
This r-sluration went on for some time, nothing particularly interesting, until @SodaJerk decided to give @Marsey his ultimatum!
Why so defensive fren? Also you're making idle threats to an anonymous stranger, that's pretty tough Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? How far are you from Spokane?
Close enough. Name a place in Spokane and I'll be there at 5:30 tomorrow. Or some other time, we can work it out. No joke.
"It was " Everyone thought, @Marsey and @SodaJerk's fight to the death was to take place in the 11th of September, funnily enough.
Preparation
Basically @SodaJerk started talking mad shit like a complete douchebag and totally derailed my dope thread about my pet mountain lion so I threatened to kick his butt and then he had the audacity to tell say that i wont actually back up what i have to say irl. By some stroke of luck or doxxing he happens to possibly live near me and so its time to see if HE WILL PUT HIS MONEY WHERE HIS MOUTH IS because guess what you fricking idiot I am yoked and I love kicking people's butt and Washington is a mutual combat state so if you name a place and a time I will show up and I will legally smack the shit out of you and make you my b-word.
And just in case you thought this couldn't get more neurodivergent, radical centrist fighter @TheGrillcast says he will also show up to the fight to livestream it.
@SodaJerk, incapable of choosing a location, kept changing where the meetup would take place (BIPOC), angering @Marsey even further.
You fricking said Spokane you c*nt butt what the frick is this shit
I don't want to get jumped by a gaggle of your pillbilly friends. Also that adds like five hours round trip to my drive. I'm coming all this way neighbor the least you can do is be a little flexible on the location
This neighbor challenges me to a fight in Spokane, and I say I'm down. We name a time and a place. Then he pulls this weird shit and wants me to drive for hours. I've got a life and shit to do I thought this b-word lived in Spokane.
I'd be down but I feel like 90% I drive for hours and show up and the little coward isn't even there. Idk man this is some bullshit I'm drunk and I want to say I'm game for a drive but I feel like he's just trying to wriggle out of it seems like he can't put his money where his mouth is all I'm hearing is excuses. Sucks because I wanted to put on a top tier show and display a lesson heck I would've even brought boxing gloves if bare knuckle was a bit to much I was excited for this smack down but now idk what do you guys think am I getting jebaited?
Edit: frick it I'm going to tri-cities im in it to win it I'll fricking drive even with Biden gas idgaf as y'all have seen I wear a vacheron Constantine this b-word calling me out
Totally not a mental illness btw.
The Day of the Fight
The moment everyone has been waiting for. The day where @Marsey and @SodaJerk would settle aside their differences to beat the shit out of eachother.
Supposedly, @SodaJerk had already arrived to the meetup place, even having "proof" to confirm his presence.
Meanwhile, @TheGrillcast was also on his way to Spokane as well.
A few hours later, @Marsey arrived at the park.
Unrelated to the duel, another drama user that had come to see the fight, met up with @Marsey
I just said I'm leaving in another post lol but I'll walk back for the lols be there in 1 minute
It's legit. He's here. Seems like a pretty fetch guy.
Good to meet you man
Yes yes, very wholesome and all, but where was @SodaJerk ? According to @Marsey, he was nowhere to be seen.
I'm a little northeast of there on the other side of the trees.
But, alas, despite @Marsey's best efforts to find @SodaJerk, he wasn't there. Because, in reality, he had never gone there (BIPOC). As it turns out, that "proof" he had posted beforehand was just a photoshop edit made by @X (formerly chiobu)_
@Marsey declared himself victorious by walkover upon seeing that his adversary had forfeited. Plenty of users made fun of him for falling for such obvious bait, but he took it rather well, using it as a point of pride rather than shame (lol fat)
I'm here. I've given my exact location. It is past time. I haven't seen anyone matching their description and I don't think I will. I'm gonna hang out for a bit just to drive home the point but for any doubters out there who think I don't mean what I say take a look bitches I back up every word out of my mouth meanwhile @SodaJerk is a coward the exact opposite of me and I still don't think they are actually a woman. I will be gloating more about this in the coming days and I'm gonna go meet up with @TheGrillcast and do an interview also here if proof that I am not fat suck it losers
@TheGrillcast interviewed @Marsey, alongside his cameraman (Presumed to be his boyfriend), declaring him the winner.
An admittedly bittersweet ending to a chiefly neurodivergent argument, what could we take from this demonstration of r-sluration? Several things, such as:
-Nothing ever happens
-@TheGrillcast is gay
-@Marsey is fat
-@SodaJerk is a liar and you should never trust a word he says
A couple of extra things related to this drama, that I had no idea where to include, are.
If you read through this whole thing, thx u m8, if u didn't, fukk u.
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I haven't been around because I'm ashamed that you don't know how a museum works.
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Can you dissapear from my life again thx u
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