Depressed , Out-of-shape , can't afford a house .

Recently returned from an extended visit where I stayed with friends interstate. Despite working the entire time, the whiplash is insane with how much happier I was there.

Realised how much I hate living back at home. People were happy to see me, encouraging, and don't treat me like I'm an r-slur baby there.

Worse, the savings I made over the last year living at home were basically wiped out by interest rate rises, so I'm in a position where I can only afford a house about 5k more than I could 12 months ago despite 30k more in actual savings. Of course, I can keep up with the market but never outstrip it so I'm essentially running in place, always JUST behind being able to afford a starter place that isn't a literal crackden or in an outer suburb that isn't a crack-suburb where I'll get gay bashed.

I spend my time either working or chasing after my dysfunctional family to make the house livable. I change so much cat litter and mop so much piss because these r-slur cats literally can't litterbox like every other cat in history. And if I don't plan dinner it either doesn't happen, or happens at 8pm. No one will communicate and I can't keep up with the filth they all generate.

Because of this, I have literally 0 time to go to the gym so I'm back from fit boy to 10kg heavier with fricking back creases. So now I'll never be able to pick up a man on the off chance I get time for myself. Which means my buying power will KEEP being shit while I sit alone in my room wondering how many of my pills will cause me to effectively end it all.

Lexapro-bros, I'm on 10mg, but I got a new script. If I take all 30-odd pills at once will it be enough to end it or will it just cause my kidneys to shut down and drag the whole thing out?

Sorry to dispair on you all. But I figure Christmas is the best time for it no?

Anyway, hope you're all well.